All Articles Tagged "parents"
These celebrities have lots of kids.
We all met DMX’s estranged son on his infamous episode of Iyanla: Fix My Life. But did you know that DMX has a total of eight kids? And if you ask some of DMX’s former lovers, the number is closer to 13…
It seems like every time I come home, I find some fundamental difference between myself and my parents. In the past, these differences would have bothered me, gravely disturbed me even. But I’m trying to grow and understand that people I love don’t always have to agree with me. I can’t lie though, these drastic differences in the way we see the world do catch me off guard sometimes.
This year, my sister and I shared with my mother that we wanted to purchase grills for the bottom row of our teeth. Nothing permanent just something to slip on when we go out or when we’re trying to stunt. Personally, I’ve always liked the “trillness” a grill can add to your mouth. And even more than that, I understand that Black folks have a special relationship with gold that goes back at least a millennium. Kanye said it best, “It’s in a black person’s soul to rock that gold.” Honestly, a very large part of me views the wearing of gold, in any place, as a link to our African ancestors.
I had a suspicion that my mother wouldn’t feel the same way, even though my grandmother, her mother, wore a gold crown on her tooth. But I didn’t know she would take it so seriously.
At first when we told her about it, smirking at her disgust toward the idea, I didn’t think she was so affected. It wasn’t until later, perhaps after she’d thought about it some more, and came back to discuss it, that I realized she was really in her feelings.
“…With these grills…what if you’re out and you’re talking to a man and he sees those things in your mouth and it turns him off?”
I told her then obviously he’s not the man for me.
She let it go, then.
Later though, when my cousin came over to visit she shared the news of our desire for golds with him and most likely asked him to try and dissuade us from purchasing them. He said he understood my mother’s point, that men might judge us unfairly for having them in our mouth. Again, I said that judgmental, uptight man wouldn’t be the type of man I’d be interested in speaking to, more less dating.
But now I was really shocked and surprised by her reaction. She was so against the golds that she had to solicit the help of my cousin? Once he left, my sister and mother went to the mall. My sister came back and told me she saw a kiosk where they made grills. And I asked her if she went over there to see how much they charged. She, within earshot of my mom, said she didn’t because she didn’t want to upset her.
In an attempt to be dramatic, I asked my mother why she was so hurt by this.
“I really am.”
“I just really think that some men will judge you unfairly and won’t want to associate with you because you’re wearing that in your mouth. It sends the wrong message.”
Here was this “man” again.
“Mom, I can’t live my life trying to please some hypothetical man.”
“Well, you all are going to do what you want to do so…”
I don’t know if my mother was using this “man” to try and scare us or what but it was actually having a very different affect. Instead it was making me question her.
This conversation just took a very odd turn. What did grills have to do with repulsing a man?
I’ve had hairstyles my parents hated–and they let me know that they hated them. And I’ve bought accessories and clothes that my parents hated or didn’t understand and let me know that they hated them. But never have either one of them ever made some type of comment about a hairstyle, outfit or an accessory turning a man I might meet, off. And that, more than her distaste for the grills, troubled me. It was just wasn’t on par with any of the other messages I’d received from her.
When we were growing up– and even as recent as this week–we were told, implicitly and explicitly, that our lives were about more than finding, getting and keeping a man. We were told to have our own, live and do what we want now, while we don’t have the responsibilities of properly loving a romantic partner or raising children.
We weren’t taught to make trivial or even major decisions with men in mind… not until we were married. And even then, some things he just won’t have a say over.
I can’t understand how the mere conversation about a removable mouth accessory would change all of that.
Perhaps my mom might have had a lapse in judgment. Or maybe now that we’re in marriage/childbirth years she thinks our philosophy should be a little bit less rigid. But my sister and I both agree, that’s just not going to happen. They taught us better than that.
Lawsuits, squabbles and even allegations of abuse are just some of the reasons these celebs who don’t get along with their parents are experiencing drama. But we’re not nearly as surprised by the family feuding as the celebrities who are included on this list!
Is Curtis’ apple too close to the tree? Curtis Jackson’s famous feud with his son Marquis may stem from his own fractured relationship with his absentee father. In a teary-eyed interview with Larry King, Curtis said that he had “no interest” in meeting the father that he thought should have been there to support his son.
When you are a child, your parents can be amazing and annoying all at the same time (amazingly annoying, I like that). Most of the time it’s because they always seem to be giving useless advice that is not helping you when you need assistance. However, as you get older you begin to see that there was actually a lot of knowledge that they dropped on you.
Some advice came off as callous in the moment, but are gems that you might stand by today.
Here are a few, and let me know what gems your parents told you when you were younger that finally makes sense now.
Even when she’s on our last nerve we can’t be mad at her for saying these things.
Not Your Personal Chef
Well can somebody fix me a plate?
My mother can be difficult. Yep, I said it. I’ve said it to her as well. She is set in her ways, not big on compromising, and isn’t a happy camper when I disagree with her. It’s a bit much. Luckily, she doesn’t give my husband a hard time (she saves it all for me) and he is a pretty easygoing guy, so they get along just fine.
Thankfully, I don’t have any horror stories to share about my mother-in-law, either. We get along wonderfully. We tend to agree on things and if we don’t, the disagreement is always respectful. What we have works.
In the last few weeks, I have been watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta while the situation between Kandi, Todd and Mama Joyce unfolds. I have to tell you, in my opinion Mama Joyce is way out of line and Kandi is tolerating too much.
I respect my mother—really, I do. However, I am grown and I don’t see why my mother would ever have a vote when it comes to my life decisions. As a mother, surely she has right to show concern and have an opinion. However, a concerned opinion does not equal a vote—ever.
I think problems between a person and their in-laws often stems from an underlying issue that person’s spouse has with their parent.
Read more on MommyNoire.com.
Maybe they just didn’t realize you and your partner weren’t that open about things, or that you hadn’t shared that information yet, or that it makes it really hard for you to look your partner in the eye and try to have sex with him after your parents do any of these things in front of him. They don’t mean to embarrass us, but here are 14 things we really wish parents wouldn’t do in front of our partners.
From Black Enterprise
They’re baaaack. Not evil spirits, but your children. In a recent Pew Research survey, 39% of all adults ages 18 to 34 said they live with their parents now or moved back temporarily in recent years. The return can have huge implications on retirement.
“The incremental expense of taking care of an adult child can potentially affect savings and emergency funds. In addition, expected retirement funds may be inadequate for this unforeseen situation,” says John Anderson, president of In Sight Financial Management in Berwyn, Illinois. If parents begin to struggle because they’re helping their children, that’s an eventual lose-lose for all.
Here are three ways to make the transition smoother:
1. Don’t offer a free ride. Maybe you weren’t into “tough love” when they were growing up, but now’s the time. Don’t give in to the temptation to reduce your retirement savings so that you can cover your child’s expenses. Instead, maintain your contribution levels and require your child to get a job (or any job that will pay the bills) if he or she isn’t working.
Read more at BlackEnterprise.com
Politicians have a reputation for being mostly deceitful with a bit of work in government policy thrown in. No surprise perhaps that parents just don’t want their children involved in such a murky field. A new survey finds that 64 percent of Americans would cringe if their son or daughter attempted to become a politician, Gallup reports.
Only one-third of Americans would approve of their children pursuing a career in politics, the poll says. For the past 20 years, the fluctuation in the percentages has been minimal. In 1993, 61 percent disfavored a political career for their kids while only 32 percent approved.
The survey tried to get a sense of whether parents preferred a particular sex to become politicians, but the percentage remained the same between both girls and boys; only 31 percent approved politics for both their sons and daughters. Even 20 years ago, there was no significant difference between the percentage of males or females whose parents approved of a political career.
When it comes to race, however, the Gallup poll found there was a substantial difference. The survey says that 42 percent and 45 percent of non-White respondents wanted to see their son and daughter in politics, respectively. In opposition, only 26 percent and 25 percent of Whites approved a political career for their son or daughter. The explanation behind this difference may be due to the prominent number of non-Whites affiliated with the Democratic Party. As Gallup has previously reported, there is “slight tendency for Democrats to favor a political career…than Republicans,” says Gallup.
The overall low desirability for a political occupation stems from a lack of “trust in government” and lowered “confidence in political institutions, particularly Congress, ” Gallup explains. As MN recently reported, a recent poll suggests that America only has a 10 percent approval rating of the House and Senate. Gallup has frequently found that Americans would rather their children pursue a career in medicine and technology.
This study was based on 2,048 telephone interviews with adults over the age of 18 living in all 50 states.
Think the rift in your family over hand-me-downs or that $20 dollars your cousin borrowed and never repaid is serious? Try feuding over millions in the public eye. From Beyonce to Frank Ocean, here are a few celebrity families who famously feuded over finances, management, memorabilia and fortune.