All Articles Tagged "parents"
Staying connected with your partner is a task that requires constant effort even in the least stressful times. But here we are, just off of the holidays, and in recovery mode before Valentine’s Day and winter break for school-aged children. Between getting back into our normal schedules, working on our personal resolutions, getting kids back in the swing of things, it’s easy to let the connection slip. Whether you are married and live with your spouse, are living separately or are in a long-distance relationship, it is imperative to stay connected when life gets hectic.
Life gets busy sometimes. It’s a fact. It happens…and it’s going to happen again. We all have busy seasons at work, midterm or finals time in school and other periods and events that just clog up our schedules and make connecting with your partner harder than before.
These three tips can help you stay connected with your partner even during your busiest times:
Create a Daily Check-in Ritual
What is your usual mode of communication during the day? Whether you’re married and cohabitating, or even doing a long-distance relationship, there is a “norm” when it comes to communication. Determine your relationship’s style, and add in a daily ritual that compliments it.
For example. My husband and I text intermittently throughout the day while he’s at work and I’m working from home with the kids, but lately he’s added a quick call to check in during his lunch break when he’s heading to the gym. It’s a quick call, not even five minutes usually, but it let’s me know he’s thinking about me and the children and helps us stay connected. Do you speak to each other during the day? If not, a quick text to check in can go a long way. Figure out the daily ritual that suits your relationship best and try it today.
Plan a Date Night (or a few)
Keeping connection high during busy or stressful times is even better with face to face communication. Pamela Swear-King, co-founder of Still Dating My Spouse, says “It’s imperative that couples schedule time to connect, communicate, and have fun with their spouse. Date night allows couples to escape the “normal” day to day routines, but it also affords the couples the opportunity to focus on each other and their marriage.” With the busy social calendars, and work related events date nights can get pushed aside. Don’t let them! Plan date nights, well in advance, and schedule them into your calendar or your planner and treat them as you would an important business meeting.
Use All The Technology
Facebook, Skype, Snapchat, Instagram, Google Hangouts, Text, Twitter, Phone, Facetime, email…what am I missing? (probably several) These social networks are everywhere. Choose your favorites and make use of them with your partner. A married friend of mine uses Instagram’s direct messaging to send short videos to her husband while they’re both at work.
Combining schedules using Google calendar or a similar tool is another way technology can help you and your partner stay connected. You don’t have to do the same activities at the same time, but you’ll be able to know what your partner’s week looks like before you suggest an activity. Being able to view each other’s pockets of free time enables you to better plan that date night, squeeze in some unplanned together time, or just meet up for a quick lunch.
How do you stay connected with your partner during busy times?
Danielle Faust is the founder of FitNoire.com, a wellness site by and for Black women. She is also the voice behind the lifestyle blog OKDani.com and Cohost of the Moms & Biz Show. The married mom of two is a certified life coach helping busy women redesign their lifestyles to live healthier and happier.
Wouldn’t it be great to book a sitter, buy tickets for a movie and make dinner reservations all in just minutes?
Family time is hugely important, but for parents so is a date night alone to reconnect and focus on each other only. In fact, 30 percent of parents say it’s been six months or longer since their last date, according to a national Care.com survey. Now that Valentine’s Day is nearly upon us, it’s time parents rectify that!
According to Katie Bugbee, Senior Managing Editor at Care.com, below are the top reasons couples need to get out for an official date night this Valentine’s Day:
Parents are regular people, too
And regular people like date nights. 80 percent of parents say their attitudes about dating changed after having children. Perhaps that’s due to the premium they now place on things like sleep, but 85 percent of parents want to go out on more dates. So on the biggest date night of the year, you must.
Date Nights Are Sexy
While more then 2/3 of parents have no complaints, 29 percent of parents wouldn’t mind a little more electricity in their relationship. An evening out dressed up in something other than sweats or stained tees can provide that spark. Whether it’s seeing your partner take unusual care in his/her appearance or simply having them focus on you solely for an evening, 88 percent admitted to feeling more attracted to their partner after a date.
Taking initiative is a sexy trait
Do you feel like you always make the plans? According to Care.com, 66 percent of parents in a relationship wish their partner would plan more dates. But lets be honest, coordination is not many people’s forte – and again, takes time away from that new favorite past time, sleep. With the Care.com Date Night app, you can book a sitter, buy tickets for a movie and make dinner reservations all in just minutes. So in just a few minutes, even dad could look like an agenda-planning superhero! Now you all may resume sleep time.
A little extra cash is allowed to be used on YOU
Dig into that savings jar: 55% of couples spend between $50 and $99 on date nights. While we can all find debts to pay down or other practical purposes for that cash, spending money on an experience together will make you both feel fulfilled and satisfied.
Want to give your baby a head start? You might want to consider a gender-neutral name. Studies show that kids with one are more successful in competitive fields like law. Plus, they’ll have something in common with all the other babies with these gender-neutral names that have been seriously trending over the last few years.
We’ve all heard about celebrities who sued their parents. But parents who sued their celebrity kids? Is this a new low for Hollywood?
Some Hollywood kids get to run wild, but these strict celebrity parents say their kids aren’t getting any special A-list treatment.
by Anthonia Akitunde, mater mea
Grown ups: We need to have “the talk.” It’s time we got real and talk about what it means to have sex—specifically how much more complex it becomes as we get older and add complicating factors such as demanding careers, children, and flagging libidos to the mix.
“Sex has such a bad rap in this country,” says sex educator Twanna Hines. “This has led to a generation of parents and childfree adults who don’t really have any clue how to keep the fires burning in the bedroom year after year after year.”
We chatted with Hines to learn more about why sex and sexuality is so fraught with confusion, and why adults and parents need to be seen and treated as sexual beings.
What got you interested in sex education?
I grew up in rural Illinois with abstinence-only education programs, which didn’t offer any comprehensive education about human sexuality or about how our bodies work. As a direct result, I really didn’t know anything about the reproductive system—or how to have healthy relationships that explored and communicated boundaries—as a kid. No one was talking to me about sex.
As an adult, I really became committed to helping us, as a society, do much better. That’s been my career and that’s why I started FUNKY BROWN CHICK®. Whether I was speaking to Harvard students, writing my sex column, or teaching about gender, for me it has always come back to promoting judgment-free, inclusive sex education.
When I worked for Planned Parenthood, I managed sex education programs for adults and teens, reaching thousands. You know, a lot of sex ed programming teaches children [about sex] and it teaches parents how to talk to their children about sex. But, parents are sexual beings, too! What’s often missing is the adult conversation that teaches them how to maintain happy, healthy, sex lives.
I truly believe this is my calling.
What is one of the top questions you get from moms about their sex lives?
I think a lot of it ties back to motivation. And not in that, “How do I get off my ass and do it?” kind of way, but in that really deep “How do I find the strength to carry on?” kind of way, [because you’re] sleep deprived [or] bored with your partner. Plus, as most of us already know very well, life is just hard. Carving out space for sex can feel like a challenge.
What do you think surprises people the most when it comes to sex after becoming a parent?
That they have sex so infrequently. I think people often believe their sex life won’t change as they grow older or experience significant life changes. There’s this expectation that your level of attraction and desire for your partner won’t change. We know these things are simply not true. So, the question is: What do you do about it?
Why do you think it’s hard for women to talk about sex and parenthood?
Because the U.S, has this notion that sex itself is inherently vulgar, bad, or slutty. And that parents are good and righteous. You’re either a slutty little whore or you’re a perfectly saintly parent. All of that is reflected in our culture, on TV, in our policies and laws, and elsewhere.
Why is it important for mothers to talk about sex and sexuality?
Because sex is good and healthy and because mothers are sexual beings, too.
Who says wrinkles are a prerequisite to being a grandparent? You won’t believe just how young some of the youngest celebrity grandparents in Hollywood actually are!
Parents with kids know all too well how easy it is for your privacy and “adult time” to go out the window. As much as you love your little ones, sometimes you want a night to yourself — that doesn’t include changing diapers, bottles and dealing with attitudes. Here are some ways parents can get back to dating, even when a babysitter, family member, or friend isn’t available.
Over the weekend, tons of images of baby Future and Russell Wilson hugging at a training camp sparked an Internet-wide debate about Ciara’s decision to have her new man around her son. But Wilson isn’t the first guy to date a famous woman with kids and want to play poppa. Was it too soon for these celebs to take over daddy duty or is it a good thing?
I kept it hush, but I did it. I didn’t tell many people, because I knew certain circles of friends wouldn’t understand. Others would have jokes. Even women, would suggest I was less than a man. But, quiet as kept…I did it on the low-low. Last year, I spent over six months as a vegetarian.
Through the years, I have lightly explored bouts as a veggie head, primarily for weight loss. However, as I have moved forward in life, I have found that this life as a part-time vegetarian actually works for me. I am at my lightest weight in years. I managed to crank out a half marathon last year and I am far more active than ever. Granted, this is a different time in my life and good health is a priority over all. So, perhaps I could get similar results eating more meat. I just didn’t.
However, what is more important is that I take the kid on this journey with me. Here I will outline my reasons for doing so and perhaps you will ponder it more. These reasons are not that of a doctor so please consult one or a nutritionist when really delving deep into vegetarianism.
1) General Good Health.
I know I’m not a doctor, but I don’t have to be to know this: vegetables are good for you. Duh! Generally, we just don’t eat enough fruits or vegetables. There is a general practice that I have in my house, there have to be at least 2-3 brightly colored items on our plate at night, if we happen to have meat. You can get any nutrient from vegetables that you can get from meat. This is one of the mistakes I made earlier in my exploration, but last year I got help getting my total diet together.
2) Instill Good Health
I know this sounds like the first one, but its not. I intend to fully instill the proper way to eat to my daughter now so that she keeps that forever in life. What I mean its, its not good enough to just put it on the plate. You have to explain to them why eating veggies is important to their lives. I share with her the dramatic health ailments that some of my friends and associates have had in their 30’s and 40’s. It may not be solely meat related, but it certainly is junk and lifestyle related. I let her know, if she starts and maintains this healthy life, she can have a great quality of life. Once, upon a time, I thought Hamburger Helper was a good, home-cooked meal. My parent didn’t feed me garbage growing up. I just didn’t know.
3) Meat – Gotta Rethink It
I realize now one of the reasons I ate meat a lot of the time. It just got me full and kept me full for a longer time. Also, you could get meat for shockingly cheap prices – that $2 for two cheeseburger deal was the bomb! And I was broke. There is another side to this and it lies in high cholesterol levels, hormone-injected meat, antibiotics, other toxins and no fiber whatsoever. Meat actually contains more pesticides than fruits and vegetables, one study said. Also, meat simply stays in the system far too long. It takes a lot of energy to process. A year and a half ago, ate a giant jalapeño burger in New York City and the ‘itis was so bad, I called it a day. It was the last time I ate beef. My daughter has cheerfully joined me on this journey. Her mother recently told me that she goes to her home and even shares some of the things we cook at my house.
One of my favorite rappers, KRS-One planted the earliest seeds of vegetarianism. Shout out to him and his song “Beef” from 1990.
4) Vegetables and Fruits Taste Great!
I stopped having junk food in the house. I openly admit, I don’t have the will power and neither does my daughter. I recently tried to have cookies in the house as the occasional treat for her. I looked up there high in the cabinet and saw there were way less cookies than before. She had been sneak-eating! I left her the following note for when she goes for another stealing session!
Huxtable quips aside, I have learned that vegetables taste really good and even better when you add the proper spices. Add some legumes, quinoa, brown rice or fresh-cut potatoes and you won’t have any issue have a full-filling meal. I admit, it takes a bit more time and planning, but it is well worth it. I don’t want to discount fruits – I love them way more than fruits.
5) I Want To Stay Around
My daughter and I have a great time together and I’d like to keep it that way. I am the product of a father that left the Earth in his mid-40’s. I am acutely aware of my mortality at all times and my health as well. It is my intention to say around, strong and healthy as long as I can – primarily for my daughter. Heck, I want to stay around for myself too, but I just know that it is necessary to help guide your children even when they are grown. She’s do the same for her kids and so on and so on. This has to be a movement.
I just finished a month as a vegan. Let me tell you…that was not easy for me at all. Its like vegetarianism on steroids! However, I will continue to delve deeper into living healthy, as we all should do. Right now, I am a mere pseudo, part-time vegetarian that is weighing out the options. After my month of veganism, I had some great hot wings during the Mayweather/Pacquiao fight. I’m back now though. For me, its not necessarily about rigid vegetarianism. It is about sharing the full breadth of options to my daughter. The food our kids ingest is very different that the food of old even the fruits and veggies. (About 70% of all that stuff is genetically modified!) It just isn’t good enough to ignore the obesity rates in kids, which is about 1 in 3 here in America. Understand, this is a war over mind and body. It doesn’t sound pleasant, but it will be when you’re child is running the same way at 40 when she/he was 14. Now, that’s a vision for the future.