All Articles Tagged "parents"
We’ve all heard about celebrities who sued their parents. But parents who sued their celebrity kids? Is this a new low for Hollywood?
Some Hollywood kids get to run wild, but these strict celebrity parents say their kids aren’t getting any special A-list treatment.
by Anthonia Akitunde, mater mea
Grown ups: We need to have “the talk.” It’s time we got real and talk about what it means to have sex—specifically how much more complex it becomes as we get older and add complicating factors such as demanding careers, children, and flagging libidos to the mix.
“Sex has such a bad rap in this country,” says sex educator Twanna Hines. “This has led to a generation of parents and childfree adults who don’t really have any clue how to keep the fires burning in the bedroom year after year after year.”
We chatted with Hines to learn more about why sex and sexuality is so fraught with confusion, and why adults and parents need to be seen and treated as sexual beings.
What got you interested in sex education?
I grew up in rural Illinois with abstinence-only education programs, which didn’t offer any comprehensive education about human sexuality or about how our bodies work. As a direct result, I really didn’t know anything about the reproductive system—or how to have healthy relationships that explored and communicated boundaries—as a kid. No one was talking to me about sex.
As an adult, I really became committed to helping us, as a society, do much better. That’s been my career and that’s why I started FUNKY BROWN CHICK®. Whether I was speaking to Harvard students, writing my sex column, or teaching about gender, for me it has always come back to promoting judgment-free, inclusive sex education.
When I worked for Planned Parenthood, I managed sex education programs for adults and teens, reaching thousands. You know, a lot of sex ed programming teaches children [about sex] and it teaches parents how to talk to their children about sex. But, parents are sexual beings, too! What’s often missing is the adult conversation that teaches them how to maintain happy, healthy, sex lives.
I truly believe this is my calling.
What is one of the top questions you get from moms about their sex lives?
I think a lot of it ties back to motivation. And not in that, “How do I get off my ass and do it?” kind of way, but in that really deep “How do I find the strength to carry on?” kind of way, [because you’re] sleep deprived [or] bored with your partner. Plus, as most of us already know very well, life is just hard. Carving out space for sex can feel like a challenge.
What do you think surprises people the most when it comes to sex after becoming a parent?
That they have sex so infrequently. I think people often believe their sex life won’t change as they grow older or experience significant life changes. There’s this expectation that your level of attraction and desire for your partner won’t change. We know these things are simply not true. So, the question is: What do you do about it?
Why do you think it’s hard for women to talk about sex and parenthood?
Because the U.S, has this notion that sex itself is inherently vulgar, bad, or slutty. And that parents are good and righteous. You’re either a slutty little whore or you’re a perfectly saintly parent. All of that is reflected in our culture, on TV, in our policies and laws, and elsewhere.
Why is it important for mothers to talk about sex and sexuality?
Because sex is good and healthy and because mothers are sexual beings, too.
Who says wrinkles are a prerequisite to being a grandparent? You won’t believe just how young some of the youngest celebrity grandparents in Hollywood actually are!
Parents with kids know all too well how easy it is for your privacy and “adult time” to go out the window. As much as you love your little ones, sometimes you want a night to yourself — that doesn’t include changing diapers, bottles and dealing with attitudes. Here are some ways parents can get back to dating, even when a babysitter, family member, or friend isn’t available.
Over the weekend, tons of images of baby Future and Russell Wilson hugging at a training camp sparked an Internet-wide debate about Ciara’s decision to have her new man around her son. But Wilson isn’t the first guy to date a famous woman with kids and want to play poppa. Was it too soon for these celebs to take over daddy duty or is it a good thing?
I kept it hush, but I did it. I didn’t tell many people, because I knew certain circles of friends wouldn’t understand. Others would have jokes. Even women, would suggest I was less than a man. But, quiet as kept…I did it on the low-low. Last year, I spent over six months as a vegetarian.
Through the years, I have lightly explored bouts as a veggie head, primarily for weight loss. However, as I have moved forward in life, I have found that this life as a part-time vegetarian actually works for me. I am at my lightest weight in years. I managed to crank out a half marathon last year and I am far more active than ever. Granted, this is a different time in my life and good health is a priority over all. So, perhaps I could get similar results eating more meat. I just didn’t.
However, what is more important is that I take the kid on this journey with me. Here I will outline my reasons for doing so and perhaps you will ponder it more. These reasons are not that of a doctor so please consult one or a nutritionist when really delving deep into vegetarianism.
1) General Good Health.
I know I’m not a doctor, but I don’t have to be to know this: vegetables are good for you. Duh! Generally, we just don’t eat enough fruits or vegetables. There is a general practice that I have in my house, there have to be at least 2-3 brightly colored items on our plate at night, if we happen to have meat. You can get any nutrient from vegetables that you can get from meat. This is one of the mistakes I made earlier in my exploration, but last year I got help getting my total diet together.
2) Instill Good Health
I know this sounds like the first one, but its not. I intend to fully instill the proper way to eat to my daughter now so that she keeps that forever in life. What I mean its, its not good enough to just put it on the plate. You have to explain to them why eating veggies is important to their lives. I share with her the dramatic health ailments that some of my friends and associates have had in their 30’s and 40’s. It may not be solely meat related, but it certainly is junk and lifestyle related. I let her know, if she starts and maintains this healthy life, she can have a great quality of life. Once, upon a time, I thought Hamburger Helper was a good, home-cooked meal. My parent didn’t feed me garbage growing up. I just didn’t know.
3) Meat – Gotta Rethink It
I realize now one of the reasons I ate meat a lot of the time. It just got me full and kept me full for a longer time. Also, you could get meat for shockingly cheap prices – that $2 for two cheeseburger deal was the bomb! And I was broke. There is another side to this and it lies in high cholesterol levels, hormone-injected meat, antibiotics, other toxins and no fiber whatsoever. Meat actually contains more pesticides than fruits and vegetables, one study said. Also, meat simply stays in the system far too long. It takes a lot of energy to process. A year and a half ago, ate a giant jalapeño burger in New York City and the ‘itis was so bad, I called it a day. It was the last time I ate beef. My daughter has cheerfully joined me on this journey. Her mother recently told me that she goes to her home and even shares some of the things we cook at my house.
One of my favorite rappers, KRS-One planted the earliest seeds of vegetarianism. Shout out to him and his song “Beef” from 1990.
4) Vegetables and Fruits Taste Great!
I stopped having junk food in the house. I openly admit, I don’t have the will power and neither does my daughter. I recently tried to have cookies in the house as the occasional treat for her. I looked up there high in the cabinet and saw there were way less cookies than before. She had been sneak-eating! I left her the following note for when she goes for another stealing session!
Huxtable quips aside, I have learned that vegetables taste really good and even better when you add the proper spices. Add some legumes, quinoa, brown rice or fresh-cut potatoes and you won’t have any issue have a full-filling meal. I admit, it takes a bit more time and planning, but it is well worth it. I don’t want to discount fruits – I love them way more than fruits.
5) I Want To Stay Around
My daughter and I have a great time together and I’d like to keep it that way. I am the product of a father that left the Earth in his mid-40’s. I am acutely aware of my mortality at all times and my health as well. It is my intention to say around, strong and healthy as long as I can – primarily for my daughter. Heck, I want to stay around for myself too, but I just know that it is necessary to help guide your children even when they are grown. She’s do the same for her kids and so on and so on. This has to be a movement.
I just finished a month as a vegan. Let me tell you…that was not easy for me at all. Its like vegetarianism on steroids! However, I will continue to delve deeper into living healthy, as we all should do. Right now, I am a mere pseudo, part-time vegetarian that is weighing out the options. After my month of veganism, I had some great hot wings during the Mayweather/Pacquiao fight. I’m back now though. For me, its not necessarily about rigid vegetarianism. It is about sharing the full breadth of options to my daughter. The food our kids ingest is very different that the food of old even the fruits and veggies. (About 70% of all that stuff is genetically modified!) It just isn’t good enough to ignore the obesity rates in kids, which is about 1 in 3 here in America. Understand, this is a war over mind and body. It doesn’t sound pleasant, but it will be when you’re child is running the same way at 40 when she/he was 14. Now, that’s a vision for the future.
When I was in high school, I swore that the dress code existed for the sheer purpose of making my life miserable; that and gym class. How was I supposed to attract the senior boys without strapless shirts and short skirts? My glowing personality?!
As a parent I find myself defending the school’s policies — both the reasonable and the somewhat ridiculous– explaining to my children that they do have a purpose, and taking every opportunity to remind them that they go to school to learn, not for a fashion show; a line that’s completely lost on them. (I’ve apparently failed them in the Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff department.)
However much of a nuisance dress codes may be to the students who have to abide by them and the administrators who have to enforce them, they’ve long been an important part of both public and private educational systems. And now, a school board member in Broward County, Florida, is taking things to another level, pushing for a different kind of school dress code for parents, arguing, “If we’re going to train little boys and little girls to dress appropriately at school–no sagging pants, no hair curlers, no short shorts–parents should follow the same rules.”
To that I say: Thank you!
Not that I’m completely for the whole thing. A formal dress code for adults and parents may be going a bit too far, and realistically it would be pretty difficult to enforce, but I at least applaud someone for actually standing up and saying something about it.
Yes, teachers and administrators have a lot more to be concerned about when it comes to educating our children… I’d much rather have them mulling over ways to boost literacy rates and keep our schools safe than how to regulate what I’m wearing when I drop my kids off in the morning. But is this something that the school should even have to address? Shouldn’t we, as parents, already know better?
I get it– somewhat. With four kids, most mornings it’s hard enough getting them together, let alone make myself look at least halfway decent (emphasis on “halfway”) before stepping out the door. Have I been guilty of wearing my nightgown on the occasional drop-off when we’re running late (which is more often than I’d like to admit)? Um…yes. But in my defense, it’s tucked into my pants and I always throw a coat or long cardigan on over it so no one can see it. I try to keep it classy; as classy as you can be wearing sleepwear outdoors.
I’ve also seen some unique attire worn by other parents, sometimes downright offensive…yoga pants with no underwear, anyone?
I don’t do it because I’m trying to spare my children the embarrassment. (Some mornings I’m tempted to do just the opposite.) I do it because I respect myself and the institution enough to try to look like I give a damn when I’m there.
Is it really too much to ask that other parents do the same?
Should family always stick together no matter what? These celebrity parents and kids who just don’t get along say that sometimes family ties just have to be broken.
We thought we knew all about these A-list stars. We bet you can’t name all of the celebrities with gay parents either!