All Articles Tagged "Parenting"
Your son procrastinates. Your neighbors let their lawn grow too tall. Your husband forgets what you tell him. Your mother tells you how to raise your children. Ugh: which of those scenarios annoys you most? How do you react when it arises? Do you criticize the people involved, hoping your sarcastic comments will change their behavior? Here’s a secret: more than likely all the criticism in the world won’t change another person’s behavior. Want better results? Instead, try using this simple C.H.A.N.G.E. Method.
Let’s use the neighbor who waits too long before mowing the lawn as an example. While you read this scenario, imagine using this method for whatever pushes your criticism buttons.
Change your opinion of the bad behavior. Is this really your problem? The neighbor’s yard may be overgrown and unattractive, but it is not a reflection on your own meticulous care of your lawn. If the image of an unsightly lawn bothers you, put up a fence or a hedgerow. Drive to your house from the opposite direction so you don’t have to see the lawn that needs to be mown. Or quite simply, consider that this is not your problem and get on with your life!
Honor the person over the behavior. Maybe the neighbor has been sick and is unable to tend to his lawn. Maybe he has other worries that take him away from the lawnmower duties. You can’t possibly know why your neighbor’s lawn is unkempt unless you go over and talk, and merely telling your neighbor that his lawn is unsightly will only annoy him. However, offering to help your neighbor mow the lawn will show him that you care. Bring over a cake or a casserole to help him through a difficult time in addition to offering to mow the lawn. Or send your teenage son over to offer the services. Chances are, your neighbor will pay your child to do the job and in that case, everyone wins!
Accept the behavior you cannot change. Acceptance is a huge part of peace. If your neighbor doesn’t want your help, if he doesn’t see the same problem you see, or if he flatly refuses to mow his lawn more than once a month, then accept that this is his way of living. At least you’ll have an attractive lawn to look at next door during the few days immediately after he mows!
Notice the good behavior before the bad. The theory of leaving well enough alone does not work when you’re trying to change someone’s behavior. You’ll need to verbally reward your neighbor immediately after he mows the lawn with a comment something like this: “Wow! Your yard looks so much bigger today.” Or: “What kind of lawnmower did you use? My husband is looking for a new model and yours is so quiet I never heard you mowing.” In both examples, the focus is not on the fact that the lawn is now mown after four weeks of growth. The focus is on the nice front yard and well-oiled lawnmower!
Read more at YourTango.com
Mommy in Chief is back for Season 4 and this time it is brought to you by USPS®. Our new host is the beautiful and talented Laila Ali and on this season she will go over topics that range from preparing the perfect Holiday Care Package with her famous Oven Fried Chicken ingredients to inviting some of her celebrity friends to share advice on how to find me-time for yourself.
Make sure you watch the first episode airing on December 10th where she will be making her famous oven fried chicken, just in time for the holidays!
Real Housewives of Atlanta star Cynthia Bailey is the mom of a very beautiful teenage girl, which means the boys aren’t too far away. During this week’s episode, NeNe and Cynthia seemed to disagree about whether or not a 14-year-old girl is old enough to have a boyfriend. While Cynthia felt like 14 is an acceptable age as long as the mom and daughter are able to honestly communicate with one another, NeNe seemed to disagree. Apparently, Kenya Moore disagrees as well. In her latest Bravo TV blog, the former pageant queen weighed in on the discussion.
“Cynthia is a wonderful mother as evidenced by the open communication she has with Noelle. Although I do not personally think that a 13-year-old should have a boyfriend, that is Cynthia’s personal choice for her family. What I do appreciate is that Cynthia encourages honesty with Noelle, and that should be applauded,” Kenya wrote.
She then went on to point out that children are “sneaky” by describing the deceitful stunts that she pulled as a teen.
“But children are just that — children. For me, I was the slickest child anyone could imagine… Stealing the family car by backing it out of the driveway until it could no longer be heard when started, changing clothes at school, and having secrets. I can’t imagine having a daughter and having to hear about her dating, liking, or kissing boys.”
“I appreciate the mother Cynthia is to Noelle, and in this case, I don’t envy the position she is in. With that said, Cynthia is one of the kindest, smartest, and most gracious women I know. I’m confident that Noelle will depend on the lessons her model mother — figuratively and literally speaking — has engraved in her during her formative years,” she eventually concluded.
While both NeNe and Kenya make valid arguments, neither of them have teenage daughters.
What do you think? Is 14 too young to be “dating?”
Jazmine Denise is an entertainment and celebrity news blogger. Follow her on Twitter @jazminedenise.
“I Don’t Have To Be At Home With The Kids All Day”: Nia Long Speaks On Juggling Motherhood And Her Career
Nia Long is the mother to two beautiful young boys, the longtime girlfriend of NBA assistant coach Ime Udoka and the star of current box office hit The Best Man Holiday.
Hello Beautiful caught up with Nia Long at the press junket for the highly-anticipated sequel, and she shared the key to juggling her ever-demanding life. To our surprise, she admitted there’s no secret at all! “I’m so not balanced,” she gushed, laughing.
“I just do what is necessary in the moment,” the 43-year-old beauty said. “If it’s the kids the need attention. I take care of that…My brain is like split in half. Half is for myself and half is for the kids.”“And I think that is a mother’s journey to make sure that they come first but to never loose yourself in the process,” she added. “So when I go from being mom in my Uggs and my jeans and my t-shirt, and I have to come walk in these heels, I’m like, ‘Can somebody carry me because I forgot how to walking heels?’ And I think every mom feels that way.”
Read more at HelloBeautiful.com
‘My Eggs Are Dying On The Shelf:’ Octavia Spencer Discusses The Possibility That She May Never Have Children
It seems that once a woman reaches a certain age, the pressure to get hitched and reproduce intensifies, but if you ask 43-year-old Academy Award-winning actress Octavia Spencer, she’ll tell you that she’s “fine” with being single.
“I should be married and have 19 kids,” Octavia said during a roundtable discussion with The Hollywood Reporter.
She went on to discuss that she realizes her reproductive capabilities will eventually be non-existent.
“And now I’m thinking my eggs are dying on the shelf. They’re going to go past their expiration date,” she continued.
Though many women seem to lament at the thought of never having kids, the Frutivale Station actress says she’s okay with her decision.
“But it’s what I chose, so I’m fine with that decision,” she continued.
The roundtable also included Oprah Winfrey, Julia Roberts, Lupita Nyong’o, Amy Adams and Emma Thompson.
Most of us who are mothers are the primary caretakers of our kids whether we are married or single. We are also responsible for running a household and being a good wives/partners while working full-time jobs. So we have our hands full and being supermom just isn’t possible.
So our goal should not be being great at everything. Our goal should be to put our time and energy into those areas that will make the biggest difference in the lives of our children, like their health & wellness, education and building of their self-esteem. Knowing where (and where not) to put our energy and focus as mothers will help to be more powerful and productive parents in the end. It will also help us to maintain our joy, our peace and our energy level.
Here are a few steps to good (and powerful) parenting:
Cut Corners: Knowing where to cut corners is one of the great secrets of good parenting…
Let Go of The Guilt: Guilt is crippling and consuming so let go of feelings of guilt when you make a mistake as a parent. Acknowledge the shortcoming, and move on quickly so you can make better decisions going forward…
Ask For Help: It does take a village to raise a child so ask for help when you need it…
You can check out the rest of the tips from Notoya Green over on ESSENCE.com. The tips, as well as the words that go along with them, could prove to be of great help to some of our mommy readers.
What tips do you have for moms who are really hard on themselves?
Talking with our kids about sex is not an easy thing to do. Trying to figure out how to give them the facts, without feeling like we are giving them consent to act on those impulses can be downright awkward. I know it is for me. However, for many parents “the talk” is no longer just about the feelings their child may have for the opposite sex, because many of those talks now include discussions about same-sex interaction as well. Chalk it up to the interesting times we live in.
Recently, Cynthia Bailey, of Real Housewives of Atlanta fame made a comment regarding her daughter’s sexual orientation that caught a lot of people by surprise. She was concerned her daughter might be interested in girls and was relieved to find out she was only interested in boys. Our daughters are about the same age and I could totally relate to Cynthia on this one. Like her, it somehow feels easier to deal with my daughter being interested in boys than having to deal with her liking girls. Mainly because liking boys as a teenager is a challenge I’ve faced before and I feel prepared to help walk her through it. But, of course, there’s more to it than that.
I communicate with my daughter regularly and during our “talks” she’s shared she’s only interested in boys, but doesn’t like anyone particular right now. Like Cynthia, I felt a sense of relief. But I had to wonder, what if she had answered differently? What would I do if she were gay?
Read more on MommyNoire.com.
My, how time flies! It feels like it was just yesterday when we excitedly reported that actress Tamera Mowry-Housley and her husband, Adam Housley, welcomed their first child, Aden John Tanner Housley. But, it wasn’t “just yesterday.” In fact, it was last year. Though it’s difficult to believe, baby Aden is already one! In celebration of her baby boy’s first birthday, Tamera penned a very touching letter, which she shared via her blog. The letter reads:
“I can’t believe it’s been a year, my sweet baby boy! My, you have grown so fast. The only regret I have is that it flew by. I have enjoyed every bit of this year – even the challenging days. You know that’s LOVE. Unconditionally. I treasure the times I can sniff your lil neck and steal kisses from my lil man. Oh and when your lil arm hugs me while napping. I just melt.
I have about 17 more years to do that until you are off to college somewhere and then I’ll have to BEG for those kisses. You have two uncles, so I can remember very well when they became to cool for school. Ha. You are my everything. Seriously can’t remember what life was like before momma had you. I’m sure it was great. But now I’m the happiest I have ever been.
Can’t wait to see what you’ll be when you grow up. and I’m so excited for the journey. I feel so blessed to have been chosen to be your momma. You are one cool dude. I hope I will always be that friend you can trust and count on. Mommy loves you. Happy first birthday baby boy! We’re going DISNEYLAND!! Woo-hooooo!!!
Tamera also discussed birthday plans with E! Online.
“I’m going to get him things that he needs. I love clothes, I love dressing him up. So definitely clothes. Anything with music…I don’t want to give him too much, because we’re not all about that. It’s definitely about Disneyland. That’s the main thing.”
Happy Birthday baby Aden!
Jazmine Denise is an entertainment and celebrity news blogger. Follow her on Twitter @jazminedenise.
Back in June we told you that Miami Heat star Chris Bosh and his wife, Adrienne, were expecting their second child together. The couple announced their upcoming birth with an adorable photo shoot starring their son Jack and Chris’ daughter from a previous relationship, Trinity. Last month Adrienne celebrated her pregnancy with Gabrielle Union and fellow basketball wives during a Parisian princess-themed baby shower. After much anticipation and tons of celebrating, Chris and Adrienne welcomed their new baby girl into the world yesterday. Adrienne made the birth announcement to fans via her Instagram page.
“What a perfect day to witness a miracle and be humbled by the beautiful process of Life and Love We appreciate all the well wishes, positivity, and words of support we have received! To my husband…you continue to bring life to my dreams and joy to my world. I Thank You for helping me welcome this perfect little angel #PrincessDylan #BoshFamily,” she captioned the above photograph.
Chris also took to Instagram with photos of his family’s latest addition.
“I’m a father again! I can’t believe it!!!” he exclaimed.
They seem like such a happy family! And check out that little smile Dylan serving up. She’s already camera ready, which is great, because y’all know her mama loves a good photo shoot.
Though Tina Knowles was out stunning on the red carpet at the Gabrielle’s Angel Foundation’s Angel Ball, arm-in-arm with her rumored new boo, actor Richard Lawson, like most grandmas, she wasn’t too busy to take a few moments to gush about her grandbaby, Blue Ivy. And that’s exactly what she did. During a brief chat with E! Online, the 59-year-old momshell revealed that Jay and Bey are pretty excited about taking Baby Blue trick-or-treating this year.
“Beyoncé has about five outfits picked out for her and she has yet to make a decision,” said the fashion designer.
Tina went on to say that both Jay and Bey will be getting into the holiday spirit by dressing up as well.
“They are very excited all to dress up this year,” she added.
Grandma Knowles remained mum when it came to which costumes were being considered for little miss Blue, but we’re sure that she’s going to look adorable in whatever costume they dress her in. Hopefully mama Bey will post some photos to her Instagram page.
What are you dressing your children as this Halloween?
Follow Jazmine on Twitter @jazminedenise.