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America’s favorite television father, Bill Cosby, has some parenting advice for you.

Find out how you can become a “genius mom” at Black Voices.

Few things are as strong as a mother’s love for her child. But when it comes to boys, little will rival the connection he shares with his mama. The intricate nature of a mother’s love for her son has been covered by everyone from Maya Angelou to Sigmund Freud  and when passed through the lens of class and race in America, that relationship takes on entirely new dimensions. Black men that get caught up in the system of imprisonment and frequent unemployment start off as someone’s baby.

Regardless of whether men grow up in a single parent household or not, moms typically lead child rearing efforts. Much of that time is spent sheltering your boy, protecting his knees and elbows from boo-boos, answering to his call and making him happy. And rightly so. He’s your baby and deserves your love. The problem is that often, the way in which we raise our boys doesn’t always match up with what we and the rest of society expect of them as men.

The term “mama’s boy” probably comes to mind. Clearly a man should have a cherished place in his heart for his mama but that shouldn’t interfere with his ability to have an adult relationship with another woman or be a productive member of society and his community. Even as you spend your last dime to give that perfect little angel love and attention as only a mother can, it’s important to keep your eyes on the end goal: raising a good man.

Kids grow up fast but not over night. There will be plenty of time for your little man to be your baby but along the way, help him be the kind of man any mother can be proud of.

Our children know us better than we know ourselves. Unless we are psychotic or capricious, they know what makes us mad, happy, satisfied and downright disgusted.  They also know how to push our buttons, and have memories like elephants for stuff we would rather they’d forget. Ironically, they can’t seem to remember to take out the trash, change their underwear, bring all their books to school, so they call you in the middle of the day to just drop everything and deliver them.

Years back, I remember asking my mother a very inappropriate question, “Did you and Daddy have sex before you got married?”  She paused and said something that burned a hole in my memory: “I needed to try what I was buying.”  With that mental picture emblazoned in my mind like a thousand not-so-splendid suns, in retrospect, I wish I’d never asked.

Now with four kids of my own, I know my daughter might feel, at some point, comfortable enough to ask the same question.  Saying I was a virgin won’t fly; she was born before I met my husband.  It won’t work on the others, either.

Since I’ll be faced with the same dilemmas, I’ve prepared a quick-and-dirty list of possible questions and good answers to shut things down before they know too much.

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Summer is slowly, but surely winding down and pretty soon all the kids will be in back in school.  Before you get too caught up in parent teacher conferences, soccer games, school plays and piano lessons, enjoy these last few unstructured days. Here are five things you should do with your kids before that first school bell rings.

Water Park
A water park is a great way to cool off and have quality family time.  Nothing says love like hanging on to your child for dear life as you both sit in a hollowed out log plunging down a 20-foot waterfall. Today’s water parks have something for everyone–from toddlers to teens to grown ups.  That crisp fall air is right around the corner. Soak up the sun and water while you can!

Anything Day
Put down that to-do list and that crazy schedule. Spend a whole day doing…anything. No plans. No pressure. Maybe you and the kids will go to a museum. Maybe you’ll pile up on the couch and watch goofy cartoons all day. Whatever happens, happens. Once school starts and the weekdays are filled with school and weekends are filled with them hanging out with their friends, you’ll have precious little time for an Anything Day.

Movie Marathon
Movie theaters are the perfect way to take a break from those hot, sticky August days.  Plan a whole day of movies! Help your kids learn the art of democracy by voting on which movies to see and in which order. Take a lunch break and sit and chat about the movies you’ve watched so far before you dive back in. You might be surprised at the budding Roger Eberts you have on your hands.

Family Cooking
Preparing a meal with care is an act of love. Share the joy with everyone by making it a family activity. Plan out a meal that is fun, but relatively easy to make. Give every person an age appropriate task and let the fun begin. Whenever possible, let their creativity seep in. Maybe that salad needed a few chocolate chips.  Use the cooking time to catch up on what everyone has been doing and be sure to heap praises on their concoctions. The result will be a dinner table full of love, laughter and family time.

Summer Reading Book Club
Yes, summer and reading in the same phrase. If presented properly, this could be an awesome way to further bond with your child and encourage a love of reading. Pick “fun” books with a good pace that you know your child would like. Both of you read the book by a certain date and then you share your thoughts at a regularly planned lunch, just the two of you.  This also helps to make the start of school a bit easier because the summer wasn’t a book desert for your child. 

Those are just a few activities to do with your child as the summer winds down. Do you have any special things planned before school starts?

When I heard about Lashanda Armstrong, the 25-year-old single mother of four (!) driving herself and her children into a watery grave, I couldn’t help but feel pity for her.  First, because this woman was obviously suffering from untreated mental illness.  As a woman who has had my own struggles with General Anxiety Disorder, I know how pain, stress, no help and four needy children can cause a mother to go to the brink.

“It’s hard for women to seek the mental health they need.  And when you have four kids, when do you get the time to seek help?  It’s hard for a lot of people who have to work and take time off to see a doctor.  And if you’re poor, you don’t have that option.  Access and availability to quality healthcare is key.” says Danielle Belton, founder of the popular blog, Black Snob, and managing editor at TheLoop21. Belton has spoken openly about her bipolar disorder in an effort to de-stigmatize mental illness in the black community.

That said, let’s not act brand-new about the struggles black women go through raising children with no protection, support, or commitment.  This woman had four kids by age 25, the oldest she bore presumably at 15, with three others by a man whom she forever fought with because he kept cheating, cheating, and cheating.

The one silver lining in this cluster-cuss was that her oldest son, ten-years-old, was able to escape, but not without Armstrong, in her last minutes of life, trying to grab at his pants to ensure he stayed down in that abyss with her.

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Motherhood is one of life’s greatest joys, so it’s not surprising that some (well, a lot) of women become consumed with their new role. Feeling a child grow for nine months and then bringing them into the world conjures up a lifetime’s worth of emotions and each and every milestone they hit opens a new window. Babbling on and on about goo-goos and ga-gas, mothers sometimes exaggerate the abilities of their children and inflict their enthusiasm onto others.

While it is great to be excited and commendable to wear your joy, be careful not to become “that mom.” You know, the types of mothers who drive people (including other moms) crazy:

Every parent endures those precious toddler and pre-school moments when the only thing her son wants to watch is Finding Nemo. Or the only story her daughter wants for bedtime is Little Red Riding Hood. As adults, we are constantly looking for new stimulation while children get all they need doing the opposite.

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Author and Yale Law School Professor, Amy Chua

In a Wall Street Journal piece entitled “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior,” author and Yale Law School professor Amy Chua breaks down why Chinese parents tend to raise such “stereotypically successful” children who excel at pretty much everything they touch, especially in comparison to coddled Western children whose parents are worried about their self-esteem. The essay is an excerpt from her upcoming book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.”

Chua notes that she is using the term “Chinese mother” pretty loosely and that she knows some Korean, Irish, Jamaican, Indian and Ghanian parents who fit the bill too. So what’s a “Chinese Mother”? According to Chua, a Chinese mother is someone who demands only the very best from her child at all times. Anything less than outstanding is not acceptable. Not achieving a goal is due to not working hard enough, not some hard-wired inability to complete a task.

The fact that different races or cultures have different parenting models is no secret. How many times have you heard jokes about some hapless white woman threatening to put little Billy in timeout while he punches her in the gut in the middle of the toy store? The follow-up to such a tale is always a traumatic event from the storyteller’s past that involves an electrical cord, a surprise backhand or some other physical assault that by today’s standards might be a child protective services case.

Co-parenting after a separation or breakup can be achieved with a simple plan in mind – compromise. As much as past betrayals or guilt attributed to your breakup, parenting duties never cease. Shared decisions with your ex are a perfect solution to a happy and fruitful relationship with your children and  raising them in a positive environment. Despite the conflicts that may arise, striving for stability and functionality encourages team work.

Here are tips on how to manage co-parenting:

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Juggling career, family and (much needed) alone time can cause anxiety for mothers. It seems that there is always something to be done. Relaxing feels like a guilty pleasure. A nose needs blowing! Dinner won’t make itself! Homework must be checked!

We hear you Super Mom. Here are a few ways you can combat mommy anxiety:

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