All Articles Tagged "online dating"
By Amanda Chatel, From YourTango
My aunt was the first person I had heard of who did online dating; you know, back in the day when it was still scary stuff and something only the “desperate” would do. She was also the first, last, and only person I ever knew who tried her hand at the dating personals in the newspaper, too. These two facts about my aunt always disturbed me, and I think, because of it, I’ve never seen online dating as anything but an absolute plague on the community, and something to forever avoid.
I have been on two dating sites in my life. Once, for a couple months for a work-related story; and another time, because my best friend begged me to join. That latter site happened to be OKCupid. His whole reason for me joining was so I could endorse him with a good review (I’m not sure if they still even do that, it’s been so long!), so I figured I had nothing to lose, because I wasn’t looking for anything to gain. I was just simply being forced into something so he could look better to all the hot gay men on OKCupid in New York City. I also thought that if we were both on there, commiserating about how awful a place it was, he’d erase his profile and move on to a place where harassment was monitored better.
I took one evening after work to put up my profile, pick out the best photos of myself that I have that actually didn’t include a beer bottle in my mouth or a scowl on my face, then wrote my endorsement for him. Afterward, I sat on the couch and waited for about 20 minutes to see if anyone looked at my profile or sent me a message. When no one did, I shrugged and went out instead.
When I got home I checked my profile. I was really excited for some reason! I was venturing into a world I had only heard of and it was strange and wonderful and … OMG, did that guy just send me a message asking me if I “swallow?” I was appalled. I had heard the horror stories, but less than two hours into my OKCupid experiment, my blowjob techniques were being questioned and I felt gross. I felt the same way I do when a commenter gets way too personal or tells me to kill myself over something controversial I’ve written. It’s like it doesn’t hurt you, per se, because that person means nothing to you, but it sort of shakes you that this is how people in the world behave. I’d question if they were raised by wolves, but a child raised by wolves would at least have manners and respect.
I noticed I had a couple more messages, but decided I’d spare myself before bed. Those messages weren’t going anywhere.
I didn’t check it again until later the next day, and saw 18 messages. A couple were from the, um, “gentleman,” who questioned whether or not I swallowed, with some lovely commentary on how I’m a prude, among other things and delightful expletives, while all strung together with misspelled words and holes where punctuation should have been. Along with him there was a message from a guy telling me I was ugly and my nose was big. Not exactly what you want to hear from a stranger, but oh well! I was more concerned with the fact that he had time out of his day to legit troll me, as opposed to find love, as I assumed was his reason for being there in the first place. There were a couple nice messages along the lines of, “You look like a cool girl. Tell me about yourself,” but I didn’t respond. It wasn’t that I was totally against the idea; I did, after all, sign up for the site, although my intentions for doing so were completely unrelated to getting a date.
Read more about this online dating experience at YourTango.com
Social media can connect you with thousands of people in an instant. Which can be a great thing, or a terrible one. Here are 15 times social media is responsible for a bad hookup!
This sounds a little creepy… Sort of like those dolls you can have made in your child’s exact image.
There is a matchmaking company that will match you up with someone who looks like your ex.
So if you can’t live without your ex and you have $5,000 hanging around, you can get what’s called “white-glove” dating service offered by Three Day Rule in conjunction with Match.com. You just have to send in photos of your ex, and Three Day Rule will try to find a more suitable mate who still physically resembles your former mate. The service is only available in San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York and Chicago. As Three Day Rule opens up in other cities the service will be offered as well.
While this sound like the worse thing to do if you are trying to get over your failed relationship, according to the Three Day Rule, it’s more about physical attraction and preferences. “If you like one facial structure, you will probably like someone with a similar facial structure,” explains Three Day Rule founder Talia Goldstein. For that money you get more than a matchup. Coaches will interview you in person and even go on pre-dates with potential matches to help weed out the undesirables, reports Time.
It will be interesting to see how many people sign up for this option that just launched on June 25th. Some 11 percent of American adults have used an online dating site or a mobile dating app, according to a 2013 Pew Research Center study. And since 2005, 38 percent of people who identify themselves as single have used such services. “Pew found that over the last eight years, the number of people who went on a date with someone they met online grew to 66 percent, a significant increase from 43 percent in 2005,” reports TechCrunch. Most (59 percent) were thought that “online dating is a good way to meet people,” compared to 44 percent in 2005.
These days people are resorting to different measures than heading to their local supermarket to find a mate; they’re heading online. And even celebrities are using modern technology to find a date. Check out this list of celebs who dated online.
Following his split from second wife Denise Richards, Charlie Sheen decided to use the internet to find the next future Mrs. Sheen. The former “Two and a Half Men” star signed up with Millionairematch.com and has reportedly chatted with several women online. But then he found love with fellow actress Brooke Mueller and the two were happily wedded for three years. Nowadays, the father of five is engaged to a former adult star.
Online dating has become the way of the world, but before you decide to get seriously involved with someone you’ve “met” on the Internet, you might want to know for sure that the person is really who they say they are. Most times that’s easier said than done, but here are a few surefire signs you’re being catfished and might want to move on to a new e-suitor.
The Catfish phenomena is getting scary at this point. Far beyond bruised egos and love yearnings, lives are being threatened. Nineteen year old Marissa Williams is in jail for trying to get the person who she thought was a stranger to kill her family members. What Marissa didn’t know was that the person she was talking to was the aunt she was trying to have murdered.
According to AL.com, Marissa has lived with her aunt since April of this year. Their relationship went a little sour when Marissa’s aunt noticed her niece’s social media habits. Not only did she talk to different people online, she made a practice to inviting them, complete strangers, to her aunt’s house.
Marissa’s aunt asked her to stop doing this and did not allow her to go to parties with strangers. And Marissa, being so mature, blocked her aunt on Facebook so she could no longer monitor her activity.
In response, Marissa’s aunt decided to create a fake Facebook profile. She became a man named Tre “Topdog” Ellis. Marissa added Tre as a friend and the two started chatting. The aunt wanted to see how her niece behaved online and teach her a lesson about speaking to stingers online. But she ended up getting so much more than that.
Marissa started talking her aunt, who she thought was Tre “Topdog” Ellis, giving him all types of personal information like her phone number and home address. She asked him to come over to the house and get drunk with her. And she offered him sex if he would pay her $50 phone bill.
And it only got worse. Days later she told the “man” that her family had upset her and she was ready to leave Alabama. She asked Tre if he would come and kidnap her and take her away from her aunt’s home. And then she said, if any of her family members tried to stop him, he could shoot and kill them.
The words took a more sinister turn as they became increasingly more intricate. The AL writes: According to the court files, she told the fictional man how to get into her aunt’s bedroom so he could kill her and the woman’s fiance first, then she asked him to shoot her cousin and the family dog on the way out. Williams allegedly planned to pack her things in his car while ‘Tre’ murdered her family.
When Marissa’s aunt read this she called the police and asked for help.
When deputies showed up at the aunt’s home they interviewed Williams and she admitted to writing those things. But she apologized saying she didn’t really mean for anyone to be killed. She was arrested and taken to the county jail where she was charged with solicitation of murder. Marissa is still in jail with a $30,000 bond.
The other day I was chatting with my friend who lives in Los Angeles, and she was excitedly sharing the dates she had lined up for the coming week. She, like me, had been stuck in a rut for too long, and she finally decided to explore the world of online dating. Within days, her inbox was filled with winks from admirers and a roster of potential suitors. Now, LA is a different animal when it comes to meeting people on the web. The temperament is a lot more casual which fosters a healthy degree of playfulness that I probably won’t encounter in New York City.
There is also the realization that LA is an artist haven, and many of them work erratic hours, as opposed to the typical 9 to 5 grind. This makes it a little more challenging to meet someone in a traditional way. My friend is a film producer, and she is definitely attracting the kind of guys that complement and understand her lifestyle
Two of them were actors, one was a screenwriter, and her present beau is an actor. I was quite surprised that she was able to go out with eligible men armed with concrete careers in the entertainment industry. I can’t imagine replicating that experience in New York City, because most guys with great jobs and impressive backgrounds aren’t relying on Match.com or OKCupid, to get dates. If they are considering online foreplay, they sign up with companies that provide a high level of exclusivity.
My friend however isn’t buying my excuse though. When I complained that I haven’t been out on a nice date in over a year, she challenged me about what I was doing to change things around. I hate being put on the spot, and I always try to wrangle my way out of a dicey situation, but this time I was stumped. As I surveyed the inventory, it was apparent, that I had instinctively accepted my fate without putting up much of a fight.
I have other girlfriends who pour out their frustrations while we are having drinks at our favorite diving holes. They moan about how fed up they are with their single status. They also can’t understand how girls who are not as cute or successful as they are enjoy weekly date nights. But the truth is that aside from random hook ups and friendly set ups, none of us are really being proactive when it comes to finding Mr. Right.
Other areas of my life seem to be impressively thriving. I seem to be a lot more involved and I don’t waste time asserting myself by taking the steps necessary to get to the finish line. But I admittedly have always imagined that the guy of my dreams would bump into me on the 6 train and smile apologetically while noticing that the girl he almost knocked down, is actually quite cute and worth further investigation. That scenario has not played out yet, and while I am still hoping to unexpectedly run into the father of my children on a busy street or at the neighborhood Starbucks, I have to start take matters into my own hands. Dating online has always left a bad taste in my mouth, but perhaps it’s time to revamp my taste buds. I am passionate about food, so signing up for a cooking class might be a nice way to bring in new blood. Basically, indulging in activities that are interactive and feed into your tendencies can leave you open to a world of possibilities and maybe introduce you to your lifetime partner. I intend to make this summer my template for love and romance.
Are you up for the challenge?
It sounds like the plot to the film H.E.R – or the old school Zapp and Rogers song – but according to the Business Insider, there is a growing number of grown men, who have given up on flesh and blood women and have taken to falling in hetro love with their computers.
“MyGirlFund is a website for men to interact with women via text and video chat. A system is also in place for men to privately pay the women if they want to. After that, it’s rather open-ended.
Over the last six years, MyGirlFund has developed into a unique community with its own norms and economy. While there is a “sex cam” aspect to it, the more interesting phenom here is the platonic relationships that men and women form on the site. Money changes hands on the site for any of a number of reasons, even for something as innocent as a guy helping a woman pay her rent that month.
MyGirlFund is host to roughly 8,200 women from all sorts of backgrounds and sees 15,000 new male members signing up each month to chat and spend money. Members buy credits worth $1 a piece, and spend it on whatever they’re looking for within the site’s rules, which mainly prohibit exchanging personal info and meeting in person.”
It’s important to point out that the article and the owner both state this is not mail order brides or some sort of Craigslist escort listing board. All the transactions are strictly online. The article goes on to say that a woman, selling online girlfriend duties on the site stands to make anywhere between $40,000 and $55,000 a year for her services.
According to the article, most of the women, who sell girlfriend duties online, are your average “girls next doors,” who are looking for a little extra money to pay off tuition and parking tickets. The founder and CEO of MyGirlFund, whose name just appears to be Brian, says that men pay girls for either specialized content (i.e. videos and photographs) or “simply to be a nice, generous guy.” But unlike your average porn starlet, Brian asserts that these “autonomous economic agents,” or women, are more empowered because they can just be themselves online without having to take off clothing – or too many clothes. In fact, one of the autonomous economic agents named Kandidreams tells Business Insider: “I’m a stay-at-home mom with two kids (my first-born [died] in 2008),” she said. “I just run the house while the husband is at his job. Taking care of the kids, house, dog. During the day I am just your typical mom, honestly.”
The concept of renting a girlfriend is not a new one. And again, I’m not just talking about prostitution. RentAFriend.com, specializing in connecting those in need of a date for social events like weddings or class reunions or just for the purpose of impressing that one person, whose always asking why you aren’t married yet. And the site, Fake Internet Girlfriend is a service which “allows our clients to discreetly employ real women to pretend to be their girlfriend online and communicate with them as if they were dating the person on various social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter or in some cases in gaming communities like World of Warcraft.”
It makes you wonder why Manti Te’o had to make up a girlfriend to begin with? Then again, I too wonder about what kind of guy would opt for this kind of service? And apparently so did Chase Hoffberger of the Daily Dot, who went onto one of the girlfriend-for-hire sites, more specifically GirlfriendHire, and purchased an online love of his own. This is what he thought of his experience:
“Having a fake girlfriend is stupid. Of course, I had a feeling that would be the case. The endeavor takes all of the good things—talking, sharing, the intimacy—and turns them into texts. Instead of laughter, it’s “Lolol.” Sharing? Allison and I just met that morning. And intimacy? Fetish, feelings, and fantasies aside, the girl was 17.”
Good thing the website has strict policy about offline fraternization or else that could get really creepy (and illegal). And I think that if anything was to bother me about the service is it’s potential for sex trafficking and exploitative uses. But other than that, I really don’t see nothing wrong with it – not bad (nor hard) work if you can get it.
Online dating has been “in” within the dating scene for some time now, but even as new sites pop-up, online dating continues to present all sorts of risks. To put it bluntly, it can be pretty damn scary meeting someone online and then transitioning into the physical realm of things. No matter if you’re new to online dating or if you’ve been part of the e-dating scene for awhile, there are definitely some men that you want to avoid. Here are 14 online men to stay away from.
Maybe you’ve been married, or in a long-term relationship, or too busy doing volunteer work in a third world country to date for a few years. If you haven’t dated in a while, and jump back into it, there are a few things you should know (partially so you’re not offended by your first date!)