All Articles Tagged "online dating"

Are You Proactive When it Comes to Dating?

March 21st, 2014 - By Ezinne Ukoha
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The other day I was chatting with my friend who lives in Los Angeles, and she was excitedly sharing the dates she had lined up for the coming week. She, like me, had been stuck in a rut for too long, and she finally decided to explore the world of online dating. Within days, her inbox was filled with winks from admirers and a roster of potential suitors. Now, LA is a different animal when it comes to meeting people on the web. The temperament is a lot more casual which fosters a healthy degree of playfulness that I probably won’t encounter in New York City.

There is also the realization that LA is an artist haven, and many of them work erratic hours, as opposed to the typical 9 to 5 grind. This makes it a little more challenging to meet someone in a traditional way. My friend is a film producer, and she is definitely attracting the kind of guys that complement and understand her lifestyle

Two of them were actors, one was a screenwriter, and her present beau is an actor. I was quite surprised that she was able to go out with eligible men armed with concrete careers in the entertainment industry. I can’t imagine replicating that experience in New York City, because most guys with great jobs and impressive backgrounds aren’t relying on Match.com or OKCupid, to get dates. If they are considering online foreplay, they sign up with companies that provide a high level of exclusivity.

My friend however isn’t buying my excuse though. When I complained that I haven’t been out on a nice date in over a year, she challenged me about what I was doing to change things around. I hate being put on the spot, and I always try to wrangle my way out of a dicey situation, but this time I was stumped. As I surveyed the inventory, it was apparent, that I had instinctively accepted my fate without putting up much of a fight.

I have other girlfriends who pour out their frustrations while we are having drinks at our favorite diving holes. They moan about how fed up they are with their single status. They also can’t understand how girls who are not as cute or successful as they are enjoy weekly date nights. But the truth is that aside from random hook ups and friendly set ups, none of us are really being proactive when it comes to finding Mr. Right.

Other areas of my life seem to be impressively thriving. I seem to be a lot more involved and I don’t waste time asserting myself by taking the steps necessary to get to the finish line. But I admittedly have always imagined that the guy of my dreams would bump into me on the 6 train and smile apologetically while noticing that the girl he almost knocked down, is actually quite cute and worth further investigation. That scenario has not played out yet, and while I am still hoping to unexpectedly run into the father of my children on a busy street or at the neighborhood Starbucks, I have to start take matters into my own hands. Dating online has always left a bad taste in my mouth, but perhaps it’s time to revamp my taste buds. I am passionate about food, so signing up for a cooking class might be a nice way to bring in new blood. Basically, indulging in activities that are interactive and feed into your tendencies can leave you open to a world of possibilities and maybe introduce you to your lifetime partner. I intend to make this summer my template for love and romance.

Are you up for the challenge?

Could You Be An Online Girlfriend-For-Hire?

February 25th, 2014 - By Charing Ball
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It sounds like the plot to the film H.E.R – or the old school Zapp and Rogers song – but according to the Business Insider, there is a growing number of grown men, who have given up on flesh and blood women and have taken to falling in hetro love with their computers.

From the article, Thousands Of Men Are Renting Platonic Internet Girlfriends For Long-Term Relationships:

MyGirlFund is a website for men to interact with women via text and video chat. A system is also in place for men to privately pay the women if they want to. After that, it’s rather open-ended.

Over the last six years, MyGirlFund has developed into a unique community with its own norms and economy. While there is a “sex cam” aspect to it, the more interesting phenom here is the platonic relationships that men and women form on the site. Money changes hands on the site for any of a number of reasons, even for something as innocent as a guy helping a woman pay her rent that month.

MyGirlFund is host to roughly 8,200 women from all sorts of backgrounds and sees 15,000 new male members signing up each month to chat and spend money. Members buy credits worth $1 a piece, and spend it on whatever they’re looking for within the site’s rules, which mainly prohibit exchanging personal info and meeting in person.”


It’s important to point out that the article and the owner both state this is not mail order brides or some sort of Craigslist escort listing board. All the transactions are strictly online. The article goes on to say that a woman, selling online girlfriend duties on the site stands to make anywhere between $40,000 and $55,000 a year for her services.

According to the article, most of the women, who sell girlfriend duties online, are your average “girls next doors,” who are looking for a little extra money to pay off tuition and parking tickets. The founder and CEO of MyGirlFund, whose name just appears to be Brian, says that men pay girls for either specialized content (i.e. videos and photographs) or “simply to be a nice, generous guy.” But unlike your average porn starlet, Brian asserts that these “autonomous economic agents,” or women, are more empowered because they can just be themselves online without having to take off clothing – or too many clothes. In fact, one of the autonomous economic agents named Kandidreams tells Business Insider: “I’m a stay-at-home mom with two kids (my first-born [died] in 2008),” she said. “I just run the house while the husband is at his job. Taking care of the kids, house, dog. During the day I am just your typical mom, honestly.”

The concept of renting a girlfriend is not a new one. And again, I’m not just talking about prostitution. RentAFriend.com, specializing in connecting those in need of a date for social events like weddings or class reunions or just for the purpose of impressing that one person, whose always asking why you aren’t married yet. And the site, Fake Internet Girlfriend is a service which “allows our clients to discreetly employ real women to pretend to be their girlfriend online and communicate with them as if they were dating the person on various social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter or in some cases in gaming communities like World of Warcraft.”

It makes you wonder why Manti Te’o had to make up a girlfriend to begin with? Then again, I too wonder about what kind of guy would opt for this kind of service? And apparently so did Chase Hoffberger of the Daily Dot, who went onto one of the girlfriend-for-hire sites, more specifically GirlfriendHire, and purchased an online love of his own. This is what he thought of his experience:

Having a fake girlfriend is stupid. Of course, I had a feeling that would be the case. The endeavor takes all of the good things—talking, sharing, the intimacy—and turns them into texts. Instead of laughter, it’s “Lolol.” Sharing? Allison and I just met that morning. And intimacy? Fetish, feelings, and fantasies aside, the girl was 17.”

Good thing the website has strict policy about offline fraternization or else that could get really creepy (and illegal). And I think that if anything was to bother me about the service is it’s potential for sex trafficking and exploitative uses. But other than that, I really don’t see nothing wrong with it – not bad (nor hard) work if you can get it.

Delete, Delete, Delete: 14 Online Men To Stay Away From

December 18th, 2013 - By Ashley Page
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Online dating has been “in” within the dating scene for some time now, but even as new sites pop-up, online dating continues to present all sorts of risks. To put it bluntly, it can be pretty damn scary meeting someone online and then transitioning into the physical realm of things. No matter if you’re new to online dating or if you’ve been part of the e-dating scene for awhile, there are definitely some men that you want to avoid. Here are 14 online men to stay away from.

Things You Should Know If You Haven’t Dated In A While

December 6th, 2013 - By Julia Austin
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Things You Should Know If You Haven't Dated In A While

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Maybe you’ve been married, or in a long-term relationship, or too busy doing volunteer work in a third world country to date for a few years. If you haven’t dated in a while, and jump back into it, there are a few things you should know (partially so you’re not offended by your first date!)

Selective Mating: Online Dating Data Shows Americans Still Don’t Like Dating Other Races

November 7th, 2013 - By Ann Brown
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The rate of interracial marriages in the U.S. has doubled in the past 30 years, but according to online dating habits, Americans are still racially polarized when it comes to dating people of different races.

A new study by OkCupid, however, found some hope in a mass of same-race interactions, reports Popular Science (via Business Insider).

University of California at San Diego sociologist Kevin Lewis analyzed messages sent by more than 126,000 OkCupid users over a two-and-a-half month period in order to examine how racial prejudice affects romantic decisions. Including heterosexual interactions between users who self-identified with the site’s five largest racial categories (Black, White,  East Asian, Hispanic/Latino and Indian), he found that people from all racial backgrounds disproportionately contacted users from the same racial background.

But here’s an interesting twist,  people were more open to reply to a user of a different race than they were to initiate the contact. “And right after they did so, for about a week, they were more likely to start a conversation with someone of another race,” reports Popular Science.

OkCupid has been looking at the issue since 2009 when, on its OkTrends blog, it detailed the prevalence of racial prejudice on its own service. White males get the most responses to their messages of any other group, and white, Asian and Hispanic women reply to non-white men less than a quarter of the time, according to the site’s own data.

Most recently, Lewis found similar trends: “Most men (except black men) are unlikely to initiate contact with black women, all men (including Asian men) are unlikely to reply to Asian women, and although women from all racial backgrounds tend to initiate contact with men from the same background, women from all racial backgrounds also disproportionately reply to white men.”

According to Lewis, one factor in online dating’s racial segregation could be what he calls preemptive discrimination.

“In other words, part of the reason site users, and especially minority site users, do not express interest in individuals from a different racial background is because they anticipate — based on a lifetime of experiences with racism — that individuals from a different background will not be interested in them,” he said.

And, this could be why people are more apt to reply to users of another race than message them first. Obviously the person is interested in them if they receive a message.

14 Ways You’re Probably Lying On Your Online Dating Profile

November 6th, 2013 - By Julia Austin
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Salary, height, weight, age and even marital status are all things you know people lie about on their online dating profile. But there are some lies that are a little less obvious, even when you’re the one telling them.

Meet-An-Inmate.Com? 9 Of The Oddest Dating Sites

October 29th, 2013 - By Clarke Gail Baines
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Online dating has really expanded over the years. If you’re only messing with BlackPeopleMeet.com or OkCupid, you probably weren’t aware that other forms of niche dating are on the up and up online. From farmers looking for love, to married folks looking to date (aka, stray), here are a few of the most interesting, or odd, dating websites out right now.

Straight From His Mouth: Are Black Men Really Dating Online?

October 8th, 2013 - By Dr. J
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It seems everyone is moving towards the new age of dating which is primarily driven by technology. I’ve long thought this is a good idea because not everybody communicates their best face-to-face, and sometimes the traditional route isn’t the most convenient. However, are Black men taking advantage of dating online? I think so. It’s probably not at the same rate as, or higher than, Black women or white men/women, but they are definitely choosing to date online. It’s a matter of needs. In most major cities in America, Black men are outnumbered by Black women. They don’t have any issues finding women to date. (Quality women? That may be an issue, but quantity, nope.) Therefore, when you talk to Black men, like myself, about dating online they typically respond, “I don’t do it; I mean I can see why someone would, but I don’t see the need.”

But… before we get too far let’s remember one thing: men typically frequent places that women frequent. This means that, of course, Black men are dating online. It probably seems like they’re less doing it than women but that’s a reflection of the population, online or offline, there’s more women than men.

For the men who aren’t into this new dating trend, they’re likely not inclined to want to date online because it levels the playing field almost completely. That’s the reason why I recommend online dating to some women. It’s a platform in which you can completely dictate the pace and the objective. If your goal is to date with the intent on finding a relationship, marriage, or just something serious online, dating can eliminate or reduce the chances that you end up with someone who just wants sex or nothing serious at all.

I’ll be honest with you, that doesn’t sound like a game a man wants to play. He wants to be able to have his options, his cake, and he wants to eat it too. Men like when they can be reserved and withhold making a firm decision until the latest moment. You’ll very rarely find a man who is inclined to meet a woman and immediately conclude he wants something serious with said woman. Therefore, men like to meet women out and about rather than on the Internet. (As a side note, I also think men need to be encouraged by other men, which leads to them want to approach women in public, but that’s just me.)

Yes, for the most part, online dating can seem like the last thing a man wants to do, but there are some who are choosing this route. I have guys who have told me they prefer online dating too. Think about a guy who doesn’t have a lot of time to spend in the club or at happy hour. Also, think about a guy who is very skeptical of the women he meets and their intentions. I think you get the idea of the type of guy I’m speaking about. He’s the type of guy who does online dating because it saves him time and worry. As the number of successful men rises, I would assume the number will increase on online dating platforms too.

To wrap this up, I’m a big fan of everyone being happy. If women are upset that there aren’t more Black men dating online, that’s their God given right to elect not to do it. If some men are wondering if this is something they should explore because of pressure from Black women, don’t do it. Only do things that make you happy, not someone else.

Is Twitter A Dating Site?

October 7th, 2013 - By Dee Rene
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News, sports, music, contests, blogs and…love? There are countless stories of people gaining notoriety, access to celebrities, and even job opportunities from Twitter, so is it possible that there is love out there too. Is Twitter a dating site?

The short answer is yes – Twitter is a dating site… or rather it can be. Think about it! You can spend hours, days, weeks, and even years interacting with followers on topics from reality TV to the government shut down to cold vs warm ketchup (yes, this is an actual debate some days). You laugh at jokes, follow people through tough times, and even form real bonds over your love of “Breaking Bad.”

Unlike other dating sites that compile your personality profile based on science and questionnaires, Twitter is a bit more organic. Your personality profile is a compilation of your thoughts (tweets), bio, and what you choose to ReTweet and who you choose to interact with. If someone is using their Twitter as a personal outlet for their thoughts and bits and pieces of their life, you can truly get to know someone’s interests, likes/ dislikes, and some of their personality over time. Tweets turn into direct messages, texts, and possibly a first date! From personal experience and the experience of others, there is success in Twitter dating. There’s some good and bad but that applies to dating in general not just the means in which you met the person. Although Twitter is a snapshot of someone’s life, if you find yourself attracted to that snapshot, you might as well try to get to know the whole person.

So how can you use Twitter as a dating site?

Say you meet someone in a bar, a grocery store line, or through a friend. You’ll chat for a bit through text or maybe a phone call to discover their likes, dislikes, and if there is any chemistry. You meet, chat, and meet again once mutual interest is established. That’s just about how Twitter works as a dating site.

You follow someone, hopefully they follow you back, and you spend some time reading their inner thoughts and finding out their interests. Suddenly you are LOL-ing for real at their tweets and a few direct messages (private messages that can only be seen by the two involved parties) and hey…this person has sparked your interest. Unlike the person you met at random in the grocery store line, you get a chance to see how this person interacts with others, what jokes they find funny, articles that spark their interest, and any hints of la-crazy before you decide to take it to direct messages, texts, or meeting in person.

However, like all dating sites, there is always the possibility that the person on the other end of the timeline is not being authentic.

Discretion is key. Although you can’t assume everyone is out to deceive you like some sort of dating boogie man, you can’t give those 140 characters the full benefit of the doubt. Approach this situation, like any, with caution and using your best judgment. Don’t let your guard down too quickly.

Is the person on the other end of the timeline authentic? Or is this a collection of the figments of their imagination (see: “Catfish”)? Use your discretion and caution. Anyone you meet can present themselves as a totally different person than who they actually are so that concern isn’t just limited to Twitter meet ups. If you choose to meet offline, do so in public and ask the same questions you would to any random person that you met and decided to invite to coffee. Take a smart-risk and see if love blooms!

Your new relationship could be one tweet away. In the new age of dating, you really have to throw yourself out there sometimes in an unconventional way to yield new results. If your dating pool has dried up, it can’t hurt to chat and get to know someone a bit better on your timeline. Just employ some discretion, safety, and good ole fashion common sense and you never know what kind of new friends or potential love you’ll meet one click away.

Have you found love on Twitter? Are you open to accepting dates from one of your followers? Why or why not? Comment below!

Dee Rene is the writer and creator of Laugh.Cry.Cuss., a faith based blog that finds valuable lessons in pop culture and every day life. She is based in NYC. You can follow her or the blog on twitter @deerene_lcc @laughcrycuss or visit the site at http://laughcrycuss.com.

9 Ways To Turn Him On With Your Online Dating Profile

September 26th, 2013 - By Lauren R.D. Fox
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From YourTango

Not having any luck with online dating? It’s not you; it’s your profile. Small, unintentional missteps on your profile, like outdated photos or poor word choice, can have big consequences. The good news: These mistakes are easy to fix. Read on for nine ways to keep your online profile from turning men off.

1. Good photos are your top priority.

We all want the complete package — an attractive partner with a great personality. But, let’s be real, men and women on online dating sites look at photos first. So you want you be ready for your close-up, and we do mean close-up. Shots that are taken from a distance or out of focus raise red flags, as do pictures that only show your face (or one side of it) or appear outdated. YourTango Expert Ronnie Ann Ryan, a dating coach for women, recommends posting three to five that show both your face and body. “This is your profile, so you should be alone,” she says. “You’d be surprised how many women post photos with children, pets, groups of friends, or even another man.” Smile and wear a date-appropriate outfit.

2. Keep your profile short and sweet.

Your online dating profile is not the place to start drafting your memoir or an op-ed. Men should be able to look at your pictures, read a few thoughtful and grammatical sentences, and decide if they want to message you. Aim for 300 words or fewer.

3. Show, don’t tell.

Your English teacher was right: specific details bring writing to life. They also make you stand out from the pack. Instead of writing something generic like, “I enjoy working out, traveling, and spending time with friends,” give juicier details. What sports do you like specifically? What’s the best trip you’ve ever taken? What do you and your friends do together? “Details provide conversation starters,” Ryan says. “Interesting profiles attract interesting people.”

Read more at YourTango.com 

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