All Articles Tagged "online dating"

The Quick And Dirty Rules On Tinder Dating

January 21st, 2015 - By Dr. J
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Tinder Dating Rules

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In the dating world, eventually the young and the restless become the not so young and desperate and, sooner or later, folks end up on Tinder. People thought Tinder was just a hookup app but after a while you couldn’t tell the difference between Tinder and many other dating service platforms such as Plenty of Fish or eHarmony. So what changed? Well, what happened is Tinder made dating as easy as possible. There’s no need to fill out a lengthy profile or spend hours perusing through profiles to find a match. It’s quick and dirty; swipe left or swipe right. That’s it homie!

Unfortunately, that presents a few problems. Like most online platforms, Tinder doesn’t come with instructions. It tends to leave people with more questions than answers and all the information needed to make a good decision isn’t exactly readily available. That’s why I thought I’d lay out some quick and dirty rules for engagement.

Stats show that the success rate for Tinder matches is roughly 5%, this means that you’ll need to spend way more time on the app than you originally planned. If you think 10-15 minutes a day will cut it, try 3-5 minutes an hour.

Most people don’t keep up-to-date profiles. Don’t be 0ne of these people. Make sure you keep your pictures as recent as possible. If you want to know why people get stood up on Tinder dates or they end abruptly, this is why. Someone shows up to a date only to find themselves asking why the person doesn’t resemble the person whose profile they swiped to the right.

Also, you ain’t got to lie Craig — like a lot of people on Tinder. A lot of guys will claim they’re 6’1” and show up to the date at a generous 5’8.” It’s kind of hard to keep up a lie like that if you actually plan on meeting people in person one day.

You should know there are also a ton of people on Tinder who aren’t actually single — either by mistake or completely on purpose; don’t let it get to you. The thing is, once you find someone you’re interested in dating, you’re not likely to take down your profile. Also, there are lots of people (men and women) who just treat the app like it’s Hot or Not. They’re not looking for anyone to date, they just like judging someone solely based on their looks.

That’s the other thing, don’t get it twisted or read too deeply into a profile. The creators of Tinder intended for the app to point to the single most effective way of finding a mate, physical attraction. You’re not going to read a profile and be captivated by his bio, and if you are, you’re reading too deep. If you find him attractive, just ask to meet up for drinks or coffee.

But don’t act crazy. Everybody has a little crazy in them. Just don’t be so quick to show it when you’re on Tinder. Don’t harass someone who won’t reply to your messages as fast as you’d like. Don’t be a repeat text offender either. Never ever scream at someone or take serious offense to something a match says to you. Your defense mechanism is to unmatch them. There’s never a reason to ever get in a heated exchange.

Lastly, keep in mind that you don’t know these people. As much as you think you’ve connected and shared plenty of conversations and details, you do not know these people. Do not meet up with a match for the first time in a private location. Always meet up in public the first time, what you do from that point on is up to you.

All in all, have fun. If you’re choosing to date on Tinder you have your reasons. If Tinder does the trick, then so be it. Just be careful and be mindful that it’s a cold world out there on these Internets.

Swipe Left: 15 Tinder Users Who Can Stop Wondering Why They’re Single

November 28th, 2014 - By Meg Butler
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These tinder fails will make you think twice about looking for love on an app. If these are the fish in the sea, we’re ready to hang up our fishing poles for good.

Shaun

Who would like to know if you’d be interested in being his replacement wife. If the only picture you can find is from your last wedding, it’s too soon to start working toward your next.

I Was Under The False Impression Online Dating Would Be Fun

November 27th, 2014 - By Brande Victorian
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Online Dating

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Confession: I’ve been on a dating website for all of maybe three weeks now and to be honest, I’m over it. I used the word confession in the opening sentence because I’m one of those people who still feels weird about using a dating site to, well, date, and I always said doing so would be my last resort when it came to ending my single streak. So I guess that means I’m now at the end of my rope in more ways than one because after my brief foray into the world of Internet dating, so far all I’ve gotten out of this is a more dismal outlook on how many desirable fish there are in the sea and a swift comeback for the next person who asks why I’m single and follows that up with a suggestion I try online dating: Bye Felicia.

I can admit that I may have gone into this thing with false expectations. Though I really had no idea what to expect after I haphazardly uploaded my last pic to my profile and struggled to come up with witty descriptions of myself and my life like I don’t write for a living, because of the slew of people who recommend I accept online dating as my love and single savior I just knew my search results were going to make me say, “so this is where all the men have been hiding!” Instead, I find myself overwhelmed by a number of notifications for messages from men I really don’t want to talk to anyway that don’t say anything more than “Hi;” an invitation to have my p-u-s-s-you know the rest eaten, and I’ve been cussed out by a 22 year old who thought at 29, I should’ve had more balls to tell him to stop effing talking to me, instead of my polite method which was just to say you’re too young. Oh, and then there’s the Bangladeshi man who assumed I didn’t respond to his message because of his ethnicity and when I told him I have a job and don’t sit around on websites (other than MadameNoire) all day answering messages, proceeded to say “put you read my message and the green icon showed you were online.” And then there’s the other fool who keeps saying “I see I can’t get no love” and the man who sent me a message admiring my curves and told me “your pretty” before letting me know he’d want to have sex with me after the first date to get it out the way so we could focus ourselves. Basically men are no different online than they are in real life. The Internet just makes them a bit easier to ignore (Read: block).

I have come across a couple of gentlemen who balance out the aforementioned characters, but overall I’d have to consider my experience to be pretty underwhelming in comparison to the positive reputation this method of dating has earned. For some reason, I thought I’d be scrolling through profiles for hours and find myself tickled at the available men within miles of myself who want the same thing I do. Instead, I’m like, “I could’ve gone to the bar for this.” At least the alcohol would help counter some of the nonsense — and disappointment. There have been some positives though. Part of my reservation for going online had to do with my assumption that Black men don’t use dating sites and studies that have found Black women to be the least desired group online. Even thought most of the profiles of Black men I’ve come across don’t express a preference for dating someone of the same race, the demographic is definitely online and I’ve been e-approached by several. I’ve also received messages from men of several other racial and ethnic groups which shat all over the previously mentioned study and opened my eyes to my desirability to men outside of a particular segment of the population I felt only found me attractive. So, yay me. Two points for the confidence boost.

Still, I can’t say that I’m running home at night to check my messages. Heck, I even deleted the app I had on my phone because I didn’t want to be bothered. Part of me feels like maybe I’m not as serious about finding a partner as I thought I was, but the truth is the work of sifting through hundreds of profiles and messages just to maybe identify one person you want to message just isn’t fun. It feels like work. And, again, at least out in the streets, there are drinks, food, or some sort of entertainment involved. Which brings me to the other point of men wanting to move things offline too quickly, like “hey, I like your smile can I take you to dinner?” So you can chop my body into pieces later? No thanks.

My biggest issue with online dating is likely that my heart isn’t completely in it because I still really want to find someone the old-fashioned, let’s-ease-into-this way, but I have to say all the hoopla around e-dating sites as the cure to singledom hardly seems warranted. If the idea of looking for a man the same way you look for a new job appeals to you then you probably will be highly successful. But so far being on a dating site just feels like one more thing I have to begrudgingly “check” — sort of like the mail when you know something’s in the box but nothing you really want so you just let it sit there. *Cues meme: I’m single, but be turning down people like I’m taken.

What’s been your online dating experience? Do you find it to be dreadful or worth the hassle?

Federal Trade Commission Fines JDI Dating $616K For Creating Fake Online Profiles

November 3rd, 2014 - By Lauren R.D. Fox
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Federal Trade Commission Fines JDI Dating Website

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JDI Dating, which operates multiple dating sites, charging users between $10 and $30 per month, has been fined a $616, 165 for creating fake profiles. So much for finding the one.

The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) found that many of the profiles on its sites are not real. And not because users created fake profiles but because the company itself created profiles to lure users to their sitew. JDI Dating owns websites such as CupidsWand.com, FlirtCrowd.com and FindMeLove.com.

JDI Dating would send users messages from fake profiles and once users tried to respond to their messages, JDI Dating would request users to sign up and pay for the site.

In addition to the fine, the FTC has ordered JDI Dating to change their business practices. The company must adjust how it received money from paying customers and has to disclose to users that some profiles are either phony or a continuance of user memberships that have expired.

Below is a news video about this report. Have you used JDI Dating services?

via Jezebel and CNN

Inventive New Tricks Women Are Using To Stay Safe While Online Dating

October 31st, 2014 - By Meg Butler
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It can be rough out there in the online dating world — in more ways than one. But that doesn’t mean you have to close your laptop forever. Women in 2014 have come up with these tricks that will keep anyone safe while dating online.

Image Source: Shutterstock.com

Image Source: Shutterstock.com

Custom Photos

Online daters of the stalker variety can use your favorite stock selfie to find information about you from every social media page that it’s listed on? All they have to do is search for that photo on the internet.

So if you want to keep your personal information (or real name) a secret until you know someone in person, take a custom photo just for the online dating site.

Police: Man Choked Girlfriend After Realizing He’d Been Catfished

October 23rd, 2014 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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A Georgia man was arrested and charged with fourth-degree assault for allegedly attacking his girlfriend.

According to My Fox Atlanta, the digital lovers met in person for the first time when Cornelius Jefferson, 33, ventured to Kentucky with two suitcases prepared to move in with his ladylove. It’s unclear exactly how much time passed between their first face-to-face encounter and the October 21 incident, but according to reports, the pair began to argue during the wee hours of the morning because Jefferson felt that the woman looked nothing like her profile picture.

“When Deputy Morris arrived at the scene, he learned that there had been an argument between this subject and his girlfriend. This subject had allegedly moved from Georgia after meeting this female subject on the Internet. The argument was allegedly because the male subject didn’t think she was like she was on the Internet,” the Laurel County Sheriff Department shared in a Facebook post.

As the argument escalated, things became physical and Jefferson allegedly choked the victim using both hands, threw food in her face then took off with his two suitcases.

“Deputy Morris located the subject on Litton town road, nearby. Cornelius Jefferson was charged with assault,” the Facebook post adds.

Laurel County Sheriff Department - Facebook

Laurel County Detention Facility – Facebook

SMH.

Background Check: 15 Things To Research Online About Your Date

October 13th, 2014 - By Julia Austin
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Research Online About Your Date

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With social media and digitized public records making a person’s life so public today, there’s no reason not to do a little Internet research on your date before first meeting him. Take most information with a grain of salt, of course, but give yourself the chance to find these red flags.

8 Times You Should Give Someone’s Online Dating Profile A Second Chance

September 25th, 2014 - By Julia Austin
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Online Dating Profile

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I get it: as an attractive female online dating, you get a lot of hits. You have to have some way to filter through it all! But by passing up on a guy because he has these 8 things in his profile, you could be passing up on a perfectly datable guy.

 

 

 

 

Is Online Dating Toxic?: One Woman’s Journey To Finding Love

September 19th, 2014 - By Madame Noire
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By Amanda Chatel, From YourTango
My aunt was the first person I had heard of who did online dating; you know, back in the day when it was still scary stuff and something only the “desperate” would do. She was also the first, last, and only person I ever knew who tried her hand at the dating personals in the newspaper, too. These two facts about my aunt always disturbed me, and I think, because of it, I’ve never seen online dating as anything but an absolute plague on the community, and something to forever avoid.

I have been on two dating sites in my life. Once, for a couple months for a work-related story; and another time, because my best friend begged me to join. That latter site happened to be OKCupid. His whole reason for me joining was so I could endorse him with a good review (I’m not sure if they still even do that, it’s been so long!), so I figured I had nothing to lose, because I wasn’t looking for anything to gain. I was just simply being forced into something so he could look better to all the hot gay men on OKCupid in New York City. I also thought that if we were both on there, commiserating about how awful a place it was, he’d erase his profile and move on to a place where harassment was monitored better.

I took one evening after work to put up my profile, pick out the best photos of myself that I have that actually didn’t include a beer bottle in my mouth or a scowl on my face, then wrote my endorsement for him. Afterward, I sat on the couch and waited for about 20 minutes to see if anyone looked at my profile or sent me a message. When no one did, I shrugged and went out instead.

When I got home I checked my profile. I was really excited for some reason! I was venturing into a world I had only heard of and it was strange and wonderful and … OMG, did that guy just send me a message asking me if I “swallow?” I was appalled. I had heard the horror stories, but less than two hours into my OKCupid experiment, my blowjob techniques were being questioned and I felt gross. I felt the same way I do when a commenter gets way too personal or tells me to kill myself over something controversial I’ve written. It’s like it doesn’t hurt you, per se, because that person means nothing to you, but it sort of shakes you that this is how people in the world behave. I’d question if they were raised by wolves, but a child raised by wolves would at least have manners and respect.

I noticed I had a couple more messages, but decided I’d spare myself before bed. Those messages weren’t going anywhere.

I didn’t check it again until later the next day, and saw 18 messages. A couple were from the, um, “gentleman,” who questioned whether or not I swallowed, with some lovely commentary on how I’m a prude, among other things and delightful expletives, while all strung together with misspelled words and holes where punctuation should have been. Along with him there was a message from a guy telling me I was ugly and my nose was big. Not exactly what you want to hear from a stranger, but oh well! I was more concerned with the fact that he had time out of his day to legit troll me, as opposed to find love, as I assumed was his reason for being there in the first place. There were a couple nice messages along the lines of, “You look like a cool girl. Tell me about yourself,” but I didn’t respond. It wasn’t that I was totally against the idea; I did, after all, sign up for the site, although my intentions for doing so were completely unrelated to getting a date.

Read more about this online dating experience at YourTango.com

15 Times Social Media Gets You In Trouble With The Opposite Sex

September 4th, 2014 - By Julia Austin
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social media hook up

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Social media can connect you with thousands of people in an instant. Which can be a great thing, or a terrible one. Here are 15 times social media is responsible for a bad hookup!