All Articles Tagged "new moms"
By Tanvier Peart
New moms, we can all relate to the anxiousness and hesitancy that comes with getting your groove back after you’ve had a baby. I remember it well…It was way too long since I could get my swerve on since becoming a mom and after one more week of waiting, and I was about to finally hit the six week mark. While I understand the standard “no sex” hiatus we have to take after having a baby, six weeks feels like…six weeks. Forget the frustrations my husband had been experiencing–I too had not been able to dip my toe into the pleasure department. He was counting his stars that I had been taking care of him, but dang it, what about my needs? Well, when the time finally came (no pun intended!) and boy was I ready to roll down the blinds and turn things up. But rather than jump into it, I thought it would be more memorable to change things up and add some spice to the usual routine.
Here are some postpartum ideas you can use to rekindle the romance after baby.
Playing games – Our kids might have Toys R’ Us but grown folks need their board games and toys to keep things spicy, too. If you are unable to leave your house but can steal some alone time consider playing a game with your partner. This Fifty Days of Play, for example, will take you on an adventure with a happy ending.
Escape to a hotel – Drop the kids off with a grandparent or trusted family member/friend so you can get away to a nearby hotel. Even if it’s for a night just being in a space outside of your home will have you more relaxed and hopefully, sexual.
Schedule a daytime touch and tickle – So you might be feeling overwhelmed and like you just don’t have time to rekindle your romance, which is exactly why you need to think outside the box. If both you and your love have day jobs, then schedule to meet up during lunch. Hopefully you have an hour or are able to work extra for more time so you can meet at a nearby hotel (sounds seedy, but is really fun) for loving, or go out to eat somewhere nice. It doesn’t matter what you do so long as you do it together.
Happy hour role play – Once you have clocked out of work, connect with your guy at a nearby happy hour. Rather than approach him like normal, pretend you are meeting for the first time with a little role play. The more into it you are the more fun you will have – and feel free to use props like wigs.
Learn new tricks – I am all for expanding my knowledge-base when it comes to keeping things hot in my marriage. Try learning new tricks like pole dancing, sultry movement classes or whatever else you can think of to turn things up at home. Sure your guy will appreciate the final result, but you will have a ball picking up a new skill.
Moms know all too well the juggling act is real! Managing household, work, children, and a personal schedule can get hectic. Let’s not forget trying to find time to squeeze in a consistent fitness regimen. Maintaining a routine and a daily schedule can be somewhat of a Godsend, especially when raising younger children.
For our work from home parents or stay-at-home mom’s we’ve got five mom and mini workout moves you can do midday before naptime with your mini. Gone are the days of 5:00 a.m. cardio, because now you can get up a little later, and still having the body you want.
Celebrity trainer, and mom, Andrea Orbeck specializes in “snapback” fitness for moms. Orbeck’s latest routines include moves that improve your glutes, and bonding time with your little ones. From, planks, push ups, and squats Andrea targets all those problem areas with her daughter in toe. While strengthening your core, biceps, and lower back for heavy duty lifting ( of your baby, of course) you will also meet your fitness goal for the day without feeling like you, or your baby missed out on that quality time.
Check out a clip of some of Andrea’s moves, and comment if you’ve ever tried this.
What are some ways you’ve juggled fitness, and bonding time?
Albert Einstein once said, “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” To keep moving could mean that you don’t give up on your dreams. And not giving up is just what single people and couples do every year that can’t conceive on their own. Whether it’s adoption or surrogacy, want-to-be parents are making a way out of no way.
Many celebrities have also made the important decision to use a surrogate to bring a child into this world and Tyra Banks is one of them. Tyra and her partner Erik Asla welcomed their son York in January via a surrogate.
Her Instagram post read: “The best present we worked and prayed so hard for is finally here. He’s got my fingers and big eyes and his daddy Erik’s mouth and chin. As we thank the angel of a woman that carried our miracle baby boy for us, we pray for everyone who struggles to reach this joyous milestone. York Banks Asla, welcome to the world.”
In a recent interview with The Telegraph she describes motherhood as “weird, beautiful, exhilarating feeling,” and went on to say, “The most insulting thing is when people come to me with ideas but follow it up with, ‘oh but now you won’t have time, because you’re a mum.’ People don’t say that to his father. Let me make that decision for myself.”
Tyra said she had been talking about wanting children since 24 and would tell people close to her, “in the next three years, but after I while, I realized I couldn’t keep saying that. After a decade-and-a-half passed, it was time to really do it.”
And as for more kids she said: “After York was born, I was planning more children but it’s not so easy for me because I couldn’t carry my son, and I didn’t want to keep putting chemicals into my body. I might adopt one day – I’ve always wanted to adopt, actually.”
Tyra might be one busy mama but she definitely makes time to give back to the community. Tyra has been open in the past about her battles with body image and self-esteem so it makes sense that she started the The Tyra Banks TZONE Foundation that invests in the future of girls and young women. She started the TZONE camps in 1999 that were self-esteem building programs that addressed battling gender stereotypes, elevating body and beauty love, and creating a sisterhood of trust. Tyra talked about the unhealthy cycles that some of her girls would go through in an interview with PEOPLE.
“They go back in the crazy world of attacking, or looking in the mirror and not feeling good about themselves…so what I tell my girls is, health is important, and we need to get our shapes in shape – not looking like somebody else.”
The new mom, author, actress, model, producer and owner of her own beauty empire called Tyra Beauty also gave her two cents about balancing motherhood it all. “You can’t always be an amazing mum and an amazing business person at the same time – it’s a continuous struggle.”
When growing up, I saw my mother as a superhero. She fed me, bathed me, washed my clothing and tucked me into bed with a kiss on the forehead and God’s blessing. She made me feel loved, protected and safe. Mami killed roaches that crawled on the walls of our NYC apartment, swatted away mosquitoes when we visited the Dominican Republic, and tended to my physical and emotional cuts and bruises.
Yes, my mother was my Supergirl. My Shera. My Wonder Woman. To this day, I look up to her and the sacrifices that she made for her children as a single mother. I hope I can be half the mom that she is when I have my own children.
Being a mom doesn’t come easy; it tests your will, your patience, and your capacity to love. It also strengthens women. Motherhood may be the best cure for a broken heart and spirit. But don’t take it from me. Listen to the wise words of the following moms who share the 12 ways that being a mom makes them stronger.
You Have No Choice But To Be Strong
When women have children, they have to be strong no matter what. Mothers are the first line of defense. They are their to protect and serve, even when they’ve had a terrible day. In those moments when a mother wants to throw in the towel, she eyes her children and realizes she can’t. So she sucks it up. She is strong because she has to be.
New moms find themselves trying to keep up with the demands of their newborn and other day-to-day operations…on little to no sleep. It’s challenging but not impossible. One way to keep up your energy — and receive much needed endorphins to relax you — is with a good workout. Here are some fitness gadgets and accessories to consider.
Glam moms will love these fitness tracker watches from Armitron. Water resistant to 99 feet, you can count your steps, monitor your sleep and calculate your calories in style. The interchangeable face also allows you to coordinate with your outfits.
$120, available at Armitron
What things are cool to do before you become a mother but not acceptable afterward? It depends who you ask. People will always have an opinion — a variety of them more often than not — on what they think moms should and shouldn’t do. What they should and shouldn’t wear. How they should and shouldn’t spend their time. Sometimes they’re right on point and sometimes they’re just being judgmental.
But motherhood brings about too many changes in life for us not to try and adjust to them at all. Becoming a new mom is an opportunity to grow up, get it together and take life to the next level. And sometimes it’s better to make these changes before you become a mom rather than after you’re tackling diapers, late nights, milk bottles and tears.
Already someone’s mom? How did your life change in ways that you expected it to and in ways that you didn’t see coming once you entered motherhood?
I have a confession to make: I’m kind of a closeted germaphobe. I check hotel sheets for stains, bed bugs and pubic hair. I re-wipe bar counters just in case there’s any sticky, cocktail residue. Oh and I refuse to eat fast food in actual fast food restaurants. If it’s not handed to me via the drive through window, I’m not eating.
My fear of all things sticky, wet and foreign (what is that?!) even makes it hard for me to sip on my partner’s drink without wiping his glass first. So, I’m a bit scared of what will become of me when I am a mom. Baby boy is coming soon and, well, kids get messy – especially boys.
To prepare myself for the impending grossness, I crafted a list of what will gross me out when I am a mom.
I’ve always been disgusted by drool and all forms of saliva, actually. I think I was traumatized by my cousin, Vladimir, who often gave me Wet Willies when we were kids. He also has voluptuous lips (think Angelina Jolie) so when we’d kiss hello on the cheek as teenagers (we’re Latino, kisses are par for the course when greeting loved ones) he’d accidentally slobber saliva all over my face. Freaked out, I’d wipe off the wetness immediately. But, do you know what babies do a lot of? Drool! God help me.
Injuries of any sort
I flinch when I see my own blood, and it’s really difficult for me to be in the presence of a scabbed knee or stitches. But kids get hurt! Aside from not wanting to witness my baby boy in any pain, how will I suck it up and change his bandages and put Neosporin on his scrapes? Oh, yeah, I know, “Babe!”
Dirt and more dirt
Moms of boys have already warned me of this fact: boys tend to get really dirty. Just last weekend my friend, Lourdes, shared that her two boys took the hose to their backyard, wet the soil with said hose, and then roll around in the mud pile they created. “They had so much fun,” she said. I nodded, feigning happiness though it gave me shivers. But, it happens. I know I have to suck it up for Evan’s sake. I want him to have a fun childhood. If he wants to play with mud and have a blast, I’m going to have to find a way to cope – and make sure he doesn’t track mud into our home.
Maybe I’ve watched too many comedy shows, but I feel that lice are as much of an epidemic as bed bugs. They are truly everywhere. Lice freak me out for one reason only – you have to remove those suckers. Shaving a kid bald is not an option, is it? I didn’t think so. Instead, I’ll have to get down and dirty and scrub the lice right out of his hair.
How can a high chair gross me out? Well, it’s not just any chair; in fact, I only have a problem with high chairs from public places. You know, you go to a restaurant and you sit your child in a high chair that hundreds of babies have crapped in, eaten in, and yes, drooled on. I…just…can’t.
But, I’ll have to. Today I promise to find a way to overcome these phobias for the sake of my child’s happiness. I’m just glad I was able to share this with you mommas. This way I get it out of my system once and for all – hopefully.
Sujeiry Gonzalez (Love Sujeiry) is a love guru, founder of lifestyle brand, Love Sujeiry, and a radio show host on SiriusXM. The Rodan + Fields consultant has authored two books to help women navigate the world of dating and love (Dating RITE: Advice on Dating Woes from Your Go-to Chica and Love Trips: A Collection of Relationship Stumbles) and provides dating and beauty advice daily on LoveSujeiry.com.
As a new mom, the amount of products you need for you and your baby can be overwhelming to say the least. After all, not all items are must-haves and many are based on your own individual lifestyle. However, here are several new mommy essentials that can definitely you get through the first stages of being a first-time mother.
Boob Nursing Bra Top
Whether breastfeeding my little one on the go or during one of the many visits from friends and family at home, these Boob nursing bra tops and dresses made it easy, convenient and as discreet as possible without having to use a breastfeeding cover.
The comfortable stretch fabric on these nursing bras made them easy to wear (day and night) even when your breasts are almost engorged with milk.
Nothing speaks to an over-paranoid new mom’s heart like a diaper bag that comes complete with more waterproof pockets than she’ll ever need.
The first few days of breastfeeding are undeniably the most difficult, as most new moms can attest. Just when you think you can’t possibly go another round, remember this fast-acting nipple solution. Plus, the organic herbal ingredients mean it’s safe for you and your baby, and no need to wipe off before breastfeeding your little one.
You might be a bit skeptical about this much-hyped about “mommy must-have.” However, by the third week of breastfeeding, you’ll be ready for any and all the support you can find. The Boppy definitely makes it more comfortable for you and baby – especially during those late night and early morning feedings.
Taking a newborn out for his first few outings can be stressful to say the least. Fortunately, this Bundle Me car seat cover makes it easy to keep baby warm with its simple zipper closure.
These all-in-one onesies meant no need for separate mittens or socks – making a newborn’s multiple daily outfit changes that much easier.
The weight and size of this muslin blanket were perfect for keeping the baby warm enough without overheating, and the fact that it’s also 100 percent organic will make you that much more comfortable using it as your go-to blanket for nap time.
Great for mid-day naps anywhere in the home, and when you need to have free hands for small things like…eating lunch or taking a shower. The waterproof padding also means easy clean-up for those unexpected diaper leakage.
Bennington 4 in 1 Convertible Crib
Every mom breathes a sigh of relief when she puts her baby down and he actually stays asleep. The 4 in 1 convertible feature of this crib means he can use it for years to come.
If you’re not a mom and suddenly your best friend is a mom, you might feel a bit at a loss for what to do. When you show up at the baby’s one-month birthday with a bottle of tequila, and your friend looks sad, you’ll feel very confused. When you buy her tickets to see her favorite play live, and she seems stressed out at the thought of it, you’ll feel totally thrown for a loop. Moms have a particular set of needs. They don’t get to go back to asking, “Now. What was life like before I was pregnant? Okay. I’ll just go back to that!” Because they’re not just not pregnant anymore; they have a baby now. That’s sort of–ya know–the whole point of that pregnancy. So that play might be way too late for a mom whose baby wakes her up at 3 am to feed. Here is how you can actually help your friend who is a new mom.
When bullying comes to mind I think of kids shoving each other around in school hallways or teens harassing each other online. But in recent years a new type of bullying called mom shaming also seems to be getting out of hand.
Because moms now live on social media like everyone else mom shaming has become far too common. Some are calling the moms involved the “mommy mafia” because it’s more than just differing opinions. It is the constant negative gossip and derogatory comments that revolve around a persons parenting choices that gives mom shaming a bad rap.
Chrissy Teigen is no stranger to being mom shamed. She delivered a beautiful baby girl named Luna on April 14th and was mom shamed when she decided to go for a dinner date with hubby John Legend nine days after she delivered. This left some commenters outraged because they felt it was too soon to leave the baby. Her next mom shaming incident was on mothers day when she posted a picture of herself in cut off denim shorts and a midriff top which showed her flat belly. Some felt the picture was insensitive to moms who can’t lose the weight that fast.
Chrissy appeared on Good Morning America and addressed her controversial dinner date. “I knew mommy-shaming was a thing, but I didn’t think it would come from going to dinner” and she went on to say “We needed to go enjoy each other’s company and be out….We were gone for an hour, we had a good meal together. Happy mommy, happy daddy, happy baby.”
However her hubby wasn’t having it and quickly came to his wife’s defense about their date night. He posted to social media saying. “Funny there’s no dad-shaming. When both of us go out to dinner, shame both of us so Chrissy doesn’t have to take it all. We’ll split it,” he tweeted after the outrage kicked in.
The 30-year-old supermodel also opened up in an exclusive with ET and talked about how awesome motherhood is and how she is learning to ignore the negativity.
“We’re so happy…”It’s been really exciting and fun, and every day is so different, and seeing all her little changes is so cute.” And for mom shaming she said “It is hard when it turns to … people are grading you on your personal decisions,” she admitted. “You just realize you’ll never make everyone happy. … I’m learning to let things roll off my back a bit easier. I have more important things going on now.”
Chrissy isn’t the only celeb parent being judged by the masses. We recently reported on Kandi Burruss and her hubby Todd Tucker’s good and bad feedback they received after posting a picture on Instagram saying they were already potty training their three-month-old son.
The truth is being a parent is not a one size fits all model and most moms are probably doing the best they can with whatever their circumstances are so the question is “How far should people take their opinions online?”
What do you think? Should people mind their business about other peoples parenting styles or say whatever they want however they want to say it?