So it’s the most important time of your life. Maybe you just got engaged and you’re going through hell and high water to plan an amazing wedding. Or maybe you’re past that and you’re becoming a mother for the first time. Maybe you finally got the job of your dreams! And while these are all usually times to jump for joy, when one of your best friends is acting like somebody stole something from her, it can be an extremely stressful time instead. That’s not to say that your BFF isn’t excited for you deep down inside, but for one reason or another, she’s not feeling that things are finally falling into place for you. If you’ve been wondering whether or not this is your girlfriend, here are a few signs that she’s igging this new milestone in your life, rather than digging it and being supportive.

PS, this can also describe a few family members…

goddessintellect.com

A few years ago I wrote an article similar to this topic addressing the way to often excuses we women make for almost everything in our lives. Just think for one second on the amount of times you have said the word “but”. I bet it’s more than you would like to admit right? Well the good news is you are not alone, but the bad news is just like the other “but” it just gets bigger.

How many times do you say or hear, “I would date him but….”, “I want to go back to school but…”, “I need to leave him but….”? I can go on and on with a list of common “buts” so I will stop here for now.  Plus I would much rather get right to the point on the reasons why we make so many excuses. It’s easy to want and aspire for something instead of executing it into reality. Why? Because execution takes sacrifice, fearlessness, and a plan. Many of us want change but we don’t want to do the work that it takes to make that change. As a result we pacify ourselves with reasons that we believe hold us back. The truth is those so called reasons or “buts” are just buffers and blockers created by us to prolong what we fear most – change.

The thought of something different and new can sometimes paralyze us. Whether it’s a new environment, a new relationship or a new life, the essence of change can be frightening for some. Coming out of your comfort zone can be uncomfortable at first, but being uncomfortable is not always a bad thing ladies. It means you are growing and living at your full potential.

Woman to Woman always remember feeling fear is normal, but living in fear is not. How big is your “but”?

Want to talk to me Woman to Woman or have a topic you would like addressed? Email me at rhooks@madamenoire.com or follow me on twitter @rashanahooks

We’ve all been there.  The first day jitters about starting a new job hearkens back to those feelings you had about the first day of school.  In theory, they are no different.  New people to meet and a boss (professor/teacher) you’re dying to please.  If you can connect with those feelings, hopefully the following tips get you through the first day and beyond.

• Find a mentor, someone who has been where you are and able to “pull you up” when you’re feeling down.  This can be a senior coworker,colleague at another company or other professional contact.  In doing this, you find in that person someone to discuss your career path, help make important career decisions and problem solve issues that may come up at work.

• Learn the business/organization inside out.  Talk to those around you about what worked in the past and what didn’t work and then work to implement based on that feedback a good balance of what works for employees and the organization

• What keeps your boss up at night?  This is so important that I must underscore the importance of understanding and aligning yourself with this fact.  Discuss with your boss the things that concern them the most and make sure that you’re working to alleviate within your power whatever it is that remains top of mind for him/her.

• Put your stamp on everything that you do.  Do such an excellent job so that others around you know that only you could have done this since you went above and beyond what was expected.

• Seek out constructive feedback prior to your first performance review.  This way you know early what is to be expected and how to correct it before it goes down on paper in the official review

• Befriend the administrative assistants.  You’d be surprised how much power they wield with the higher ups.  The worst thing you can do is walk in and get on a power trip.  Respect their job just as much as you want them to respect yours.

• Take initiative.  Do this and do it often.  Nothing is worse than having to babysit a new employee into doing the obvious because they’re still walking around like a dear in headlights during the first few days or weeks.  Now isn’t the time to flounder around in wonderment at your new space and new coworkers.  Jump in, hit the ground running and get to work!

• First in.  Last out.  There’s a purpose here.  Building equity with your higher ups and coworkers as a hard worker.  Show them that you have what it takes to be a hard worker that gets the job done.  However, while working hard, work smart.

• Avoid office politics.  Every office has drama.  Some more than others and often you’ll be forced to form an opinion of someone before you’ve had a chance to experience working with them.  Do yourself a favor and avoid it.  Employee 101:  Don’t align yourself with negative office drama.  At the end of the day, when you start being lumped in with the black sheep by your boss, your friends won’t pay your rent should you be let go.  Be supportive, listen but shut up and mind your business.

Follow these tips and your first performance review is surely to go well.  Not only that but you’ll thank yourself for staying above the fray while winning the praise of your boss.

Written by Ginger, CEO of Girls Just Wanna Have Funds ™- breaking financial ceilings, one stiletto at a time. There she publishes tips and articles that will help women light up their financial lives and take control of their deepest money issues.  

(Chicago Sun Times) –  Former White House social secretary and Illinois Lottery director Desiree Rogers is working as a consultant with Johnson Publishing Co., owner of Ebony and Jet magazines, to help with corporate strategy, a Johnson Publishing spokeswoman said today. The news comes just two days after Johnson Publishing Chief Executive Officer Linda Johnson Rice hired author and magazine turnaround expert Amy Dubois Barnett as the new editor-in-chief of Ebony magazine and declared that the company is not for sale.

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