Source: HelloBeautiful.com

I understand celebrities trying to keep their private lives private, but when a hip-hop artist is in a long-term relationship, I believe that the public needs to know about it.

Why?

Mainly because I am sick to death of male entertainers perpetuating the idea that effing every girl in the world is the pinnacle of success while they’re living this secret life of monogamy whipped by one woman for years.

It’s one of the reasons I wasn’t a fan of Jay-Z and his secret relationship with Beyonce in the early 2000’s and why I’m not a fan of Nelly now. Nelly has been with Ashanti since at least 2004, yet nearly ten years later, he is still saying “we’re just cool”. That doesn’t even make sense. The man can go on national television and admit to watching Bridezillas, but he clams up like an oyster when it comes to admitting he has a girlfriend.

I’m not trying to come down on Nelly. He is probably one of the tamest rappers ever compared to some of the downright insulting lyrics these other rappers spit and call music. However, he is a prime example of entertainers in general being more comfortable sexually objectifying women than admitting one woman is the object of his affection.

In his “Bye Baby” song, I think Nas called these men “fake pimps”. They’re definitely fake.

With unplanned pregnancies, HIV, and general lack of true love running roughshod through the black community, it is utterly irresponsible for rappers to continue to promote destructive behavior as though they’re not contributing to the problem. It’s worse when they don’t even believe in the life they’re selling. Why not just sell the alternative?

In his Op-Ed “Jay-Z Should Rap About Marriage”, writer Jozen Cummings asks:

When are we going to hear one of these married or crazy-in-love rappers like Jay-Z rap about holy matrimony?

Jay-Z prides himself on keeping it real, and what’s more real than being married?

To be clear, hip-hop doesn’t have a vulnerability problem. There are plenty of rap songs about the ups and downs of being in a relationship, but marriage? In rap, it might as well be called the M-word because almost no rapper wants to say it in a song, let alone write three verses and a hook about it.

Jay-Z is definitely not shy at all about his wife in public, but Jozen raises an excellent point. Jay-Z can have an entire song titled “Big Pimpin” but where is the song about being a husband?

DJ Cotton who interviewed Paul Wall, Bun B and EZ-40 in his piece Happily Ever After: Life As A Married Rapper says:

Usually, the only time you hear the word “marriage” in Hip Hop is when a rapper is talking about being married to the game, married to the money, married to the music or some other non-human entity. Once every blue moon you’ll hear a rhyme about a down A$$ chick or a ride or die broad, but it’s rare that you’ll hear the word “wife” uttered out of a rappers’ mouth. For some reason, talking about marriage in a music that is roughly 30 years old now is still a risk.

Maybe rappers don’t talk about marriage because they’re not married. I can understand that, but plenty of them are in loving relationships, so why not talk about that? Why choose to embody this reckless persona? So many rappers are whoring through the industry and have no qualms admitting that, so we need more men to step up and say they’ve laid that life aside.

Of course some supporters will say that pretending to have “ho’s in different area codes” is part of the image and we shouldn’t be surprised when we find out that Ludacris is actually dating a woman in medical school and that his daughter’s mother is running for Delegate to the DNC. We shouldn’t expect people like P. Diddy to confirm he’s been in a relationship with Cassie for years. Some will argue that they have an image to sell and it’s okay for them to promote a fictitious life. I disagree.

If these guys can parade their misogynistic viewpoints and lifestyles of indiscriminate sex around through their music, then they need to be able to admit — in the same venue — when they’ve found true love in real life.

What do you think?

Follow Alissa on Twitter @AlissaInPink

More on Madame Noire!

• Where Are They Now: The Men of “I Love New York 1 & 2″
• The Duality of the Emcee or Why I Don’t Like Wale Anymore
• When Famous Stars Play Famous People: Who Killed It On-Screen And Who Was A Mess?
• Brown Girls In The Nude: Neutral Lipstick Shades for Us
• When Did “Candy Rain” Become Old School??? How I Realized I Was Getting Too Old For The Club
• Komon Ou Ye? 9 Of Our Favorite Celebs of Haitian Descent (And A Few Surprises Of Course!)
• Cute Kid Alert: The Bosh Family Do It Big In Italy, Anthony Hamilton’s Newborn, and Much More!

Source: Splash News

Nearly ten years have passed since rumors of a Nelly and Ashanti hookup began. The two essentially fell off the music map simultaneously for a while, but apparently their relationship is still going strong. However, both have been reluctant to admit their love.

Earlier this week, 37-year-old Nelly was on Jimmy Fallon talking about his new reality show “Next” and admitted to watching “Bridezillas”.

I kind of got caught up watching Bridezillas. I ain’t gonna front. It wasn’t my idea; it started out as somebody else’s idea and I was watching with them and before I knew it I was watching by myself.

It’s crazy to me. First of all, weddings is what it is. I understand it’s her day. Men, we get told where to stand, she’ll be here when she get here. We don’t get a song. Nobody stands when we come down the aisle. They’re not waiting for us. I get it. To see that and see this pressure on all these women and watch them snap, it’s made for television to me.

Not jumping to conclusions here, but it’s highly likely that 31-year-old Ashanti was the “somebody” who got him to begin watching Bridezillas. He didn’t say, but he and Ashanti were spotted together outside of NBC Studios after the Jimmy Fallon taping, so they’re clearly still together.

This morning, he was on Breakfast Club and of course the topic of Ashanti came up and why they never speak about their romance in public.

“I always comment on what I’m doing, now when you comment on who I’m dating and all that, that’s something that seems to be more important to everybody else than to me…I know who I’m dating, I know what’s going on.

Me and babygirl we’re real cool. I don’t think anything’s going to change until me and her decide that we want to change it. But everyone think’s it’s my decision that we say what we say. It’s a mutual respect, it’s a mutual decision that we made. ‘Yo! this is what we are going to say and this is what we are not going to say’.  Did she ever claim me?

We can respect them trying to keep the details of their relationship between them, but everyone knows they’re together and have been together for years. (In fact, they got together around the same time that Beyonce and Jay-Z first hooked up.)  Maybe they feel that admitting to being in a relationship will cause pressure on them to get married. In 2010, Nelly said he was married to his album 5.0. He is releasing a new album “M.O” this year and is likely married to that album now. But can he at least admit he’s dating Ashanti? It’s been 10 years, Nelly, you and Ashanti are beyond “cool” at this point. Who knows? Maybe going public with their relationship will be a boost to both of their careers.

What do you think of Nelly and Ashanti’s being so secretive about their relationship?

Follow Alissa on Twitter @AlissaInPink 

More on Madame Noire!

• Where Are They Now? 9 Blue-Eyed Soul Singers We Used To Jam To
• He Might Be a Creepin’ Fool, But He’s a Talented One: 5 Classic Songs Stevie J Is Behind…
• The Devil Is a Lie: 7 Types of Hypocritical “Church Folk” Who Know They Need to Quit
• How Ya Going? 9 of Our Favorite Celebs Of Trinidadian Descent (There’s Some Surprises!)
• An Open Letter to My Single Sistas: Being Single is Not a Curse, It’s A Gift
• UGH! 10 Things Men Do That Drive Women Nuts