All Articles Tagged "negative influence"
Cue the Mary J. Blige song “No More Drama” because this is something we all need to hear.
Too many of us are allowing unnecessary negativity into our space. Whether a person or a situation, life is hard as is without complicating it with bad thoughts. If you aren’t careful, too much negative thinking can and will rob you of your joy, self-esteem and the future opportunities that lay ahead.
So what are you going to do about it?
Here are five areas of your life that promote negativity, along with damaging self-thoughts you need to kick to the curb today.
Critics/naysayers. There’s a difference between someone who tries to light a fire under you and those who have absolutely nothing positive to say to you. Granted all of us can be negative from time to time, that doesn’t mean you need to surround yourself with folks who are just too nasty for their own good.
And sometimes our worst critics come in the form of family members. If this is the case, it doesn’t hurt to add some distance between the two of you.
Past regret. Show of hands: Who else spends a portion of their time thinking about past mistakes and things they regret? No matter how much you look through the rear-view mirror, you can’t go back and change things. Instead of looking at mistakes or situations you regret in a negative way, try to learn from them. How did it make you grow for the better? What would you do differently today? Everything in our lives happens for a reason. Even in misery, there’s still a message.
Abusive relationships. Obviously many of us know physical abuse isn’t acceptable, but what about other types of abusive relationships, like emotional? Technically these folks fall into the critics and naysayers category, but sometimes fly under the radar because it’s a romantic interest. You should be with someone who sees the good in you and your potential. Anyone who tries to bring you down to their level or kill your dreams isn’t a person you want to have in your camp for the long run.
Financially draining/leeches. Please don’t misunderstand, it’s great you want to support the people you love in your life. Hopefully they appreciate your efforts and don’t try to exploit them or take advantage of your kindness. At some point, you need to cut folks off who can financially support themselves but choose not to do so–especially if it causes a strain on your household.
Fearful thoughts. Even though Will Smith’s film After Earth didn’t do well at the box office, it did have some nuggets of wisdom we can apply to our lives and careers. “Fear is not real,” said his character. “The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. Do not misunderstand me, danger is very real, but fear is a choice.” There will come a time when you need to take the chance and jump, no matter how scared you are. You never know how far your abilities will take you until you try.
What are some ways you deal with negativity in your life?
(Black Voices) — Last night, I was up watching last year’s Hip-Hop honors on Vh-1. I knew that it wasn’t live, since the rappers T.I. and Gucci Mane weren’t in jail. In fact, I find it interesting that I had to count and remember which artists were incarcerated out of the bunch, since it seems that hip-hop has now made it cool to go to jail, at least for a little while.
As a fan of hip-hop, I enjoyed the music being performed by various artists. I couldn’t, however, help but be disturbed by trends that become more and more apparent to me as I get older. At one point, there were three “interesting” songs performed in a row, one by an artist by the name of “Bone Crusher,” a second performed by Gucci Mane and a third performed by the Ying-Yang Twins. Bone Crusher rapped about “popping the trunk” and killing another “n*gga” who spoke to him disrepsectfully. To be more precise, the lyrics were as follows: