All Articles Tagged "mother"
So a mother and stepmother walk into a bar…
This may sound like a joke, but it’s a real and necessary scenario. With divorce at an all time high, coupled with a significant number of children being born into non-wedded homes, it is inevitable that a single person on the dating scene will cross paths with an individual that is co-parenting with someone from a previous relationship.
The horror stories of how dating someone with a child is practically asking to be startled out of your sleep by a crazy woman banging on a front door hollering, “My baby needs pampers,” or similar scenarios run rampant. While these phenomenons do exist, I venture to say the numbers of individuals looking to create successful and productive co-parenting situations grossly outweigh the foolishness that we all are accustomed to hearing about.
Blending families whether in a serious relationship or in marriage is not an easy task, and those who live the reality know that most of the issues have few things to do with the children and everything to do with the adults coming together and being respectful, compromising adults on the tiniest of issues to life altering ones.
Women co-parenting with men – that are dating, have married or are planning to marry – play a large role in setting the relationship between their child and the father. While some would beg to differ, in a situation where the mother is the custodial parent she basically holds the puppet strings and any man who wants to do right and see their child knows that he must tread lightly. In his jerky, puppet string movements read “treading lightly” the other woman in his life is often left in the dark and slowly grows resentful of his child’s mother.
As some males choose not to share their co-parenting woes and situations with a woman he is dating, once marriage becomes an issue he has the duty to put it all on the table and together the individuals involved should come together to discuss the familial structure moving forward.
While the idea is totally farfetched in some situations, I always encourage women to reach out to the child’s mother to get the conversation going from a woman’s perspective.
Women are maternal and emotional, the thought of another woman telling her child what to do or what to wear, or what to eat is a hard pill to swallow – especially if the relationship with the father isn’t on the best terms. Another woman should understand this and work toward making the mother feel comfortable about the child being in her care. If you want your expectations to be made known it’s far better to make them yourself in relation to the chances that they may be lost in translation somewhere between the carrier’s memory and delivery.
Truth be told, some women are not at the maturity level to sit across from the woman who is with the man she once dreamed of a family with – but reality says blended families exist. And if they are to promote loving homes for the children, the women involved may need to look at stepping out of their feelings and into each other’s shoes to fully understand the experience and work to make it the best for all parties involved.
I was doing research on my family the other night, which led me to a series of photo albums and a spot on the carpet in my grandmother’s living room. She and I laughed and reminisced over how similar I am to my mom. I dress like her, and at some point in my growth, I was her identical twin. In my 20s I find myself blasting ’70s and ’80s classic rock, mixing prints and patterns. I find myself nagging and complaining about household things and I was even told by a guy I dated that I act just like my mother…and his. It wasn’t something shared in an endearing way.
I think one of the biggest fears of a woman is to hear how much we’re like our mothers, especially from the mouths of men. But the older I get, the more of my mom I realize that I’ve become in physical features, as well as mannerisms. There are some moments where I’ll stop in the middle of what I’m doing and laugh because I’ve found myself saying something that sounds just like her. To be so similar to her now is funny considering that we bumped heads so much growing up.
I reflect on my angsty teenage years and how the thought of becoming her was a total nightmare. The nagging, the complaining, the prying, the overprotective antics, I prayed that when I got married and started my own family, I would do things a little bit differently than her. I would nag my husband less and would allow my children to do more, as long as they did the right thing. But no matter how much we try to avoid it when we stop and reflect, I think we all appreciate the lessons and the tough love and realize that we are more like our mothers than we think. Science says so.
New research suggests that some traits are more readily passed down from moms to daughters than to sons. The research concludes that there is something gender-specific about the brain circuit activity of women. The experiment, which was published in the Journal of Neuroscience, consisted of 30 mothers, 29 fathers, 19 daughters, and 20 sons. The researchers also gave the parents questionnaires that asked about their kids’ behavior, including things like aggression, depression, anxiety, and social skills. The findings showed that there were similarities between mom and daughter, and father and son.
The older I get, the less of a negative connotation being like my mother has. And the more I think about it, I am her, quirky characteristics and all. I spend hours surfing the web for recipes that I never get around to trying, but they’re good to have just in case. I sit through hours of Good Times, Sanford and Son and The Golden Girls, chuckling as if I was of that era. I have started my own tea cabinet similar to hers. I sit and worry about everything even though I know worrying doesn’t help, just like her. Her influence has been stronger than I thought.
I’ve become a woman who loves the company of my mother sometimes and hates it at other times. But with each laugh that we share, each disagreement we may have, and the moments we share together, I realize that we are one in the same. She is #MomGoals.
A New York woman has been charged with murder for allegedly tossing her 6-month-old daughter from the sixth floor window of a Bronx apartment building. The same woman was licensed to run a day care from her home with city agencies referring children to her services, health officials confirmed to NBC 4 New York.
Identified as 27-year-old Tenisha Fearon, the woman was naked, according to witnesses, as she dangled her own baby girl, Janillah Lawrence, from the window of her Tiebout Avenue building in Fordham Heights before she tossed her to the pavement, 60 feet below. Three innocent children were nearby and saw the “horror,” prosecutors said.
Both police and ESU responded to multiple 911 calls after the incident, which occurred around 2 p.m. When they entered the apartment, where they had to break down the door, Fearon was found screaming and still naked, according to reports.
George Maldanado, the superintendent of the building, told law enforcement that Fearon had an argument with someone next door and within minutes the tragic incident occurred. “She wouldn’t listen to me,” he said of trying to calm her down. Gregorio Lopez, a neighbor, recalled Fearon’s brother in the hallway saying, “God help us, Gold help us.”
Maldanado accompanied the first responding officer to the area of the incident, hoping that the child could be saved. “We put her down and she was dead already,” Maldanado said. “You hold a dead baby in your hand…see how you feel.”Janillah was taken to Saint Barnabas Hospital with traumatic injuries, firefighters said. She later died in the hospital, according to police.
As far as Fearon’s credibility of running a day care of out her home, she had asked to stop operating in late April with her license expiring.
“Tenisha Fearon was a registered family day care provider from 2013 to 2015 with no complaints or violations,” Steve Flamisch, a spokesman for the New York State Office of Children and Family Services, said in a statement. “Her registration expired on April 30 and she did not apply for renewal. Her program is closed.”
During the horrific happening, three more of Fearon’s children – ages 4, 8 and 10 – were in the apartment, according to police. One of the children spoke up to say what the mother allegedly did, but the others were too shocked to say anything.
Fearon’s children are now in the care of ACS. Law enforcement sources say Fearon made incriminating statements to police before asking for an attorney and didn’t answer reporters’ questions while making her way from the police precinct.
Fearon was sent back to jail after her arraignment with the judge and was ordered her to undergo a psych exam. In addition, Fearon is under medical attention and protective custody while in jail.
TLC’s T-Boz may be preparing for motherhood for the second time around after 14 years. And it’s been reported that the 45-year-old chanteuse is going the adoption route this time.
According to legal docs obtained by TMZ, the news of the TLC member’s adoption was accidentally brought up during a conversation with a lawyer regarding a $40 million lawsuit over the TLC movie.
During the conversation, T-Boz was asked if she had any communication with group member Chili about the lawsuit. T-Boz’s reply was to the affect that the only communication the two had shared was the news about her adoption.
Back in 2012, T-Boz shared her interest in adopting a child from Haiti to Larry King.
Although she hasn’t spoken out on the reports or released a statement, just last week she posted a photo of her 14-year-old daughter, Chase, with a sentimental caption:
“It’s hard 2 believe this lil munchkin will be 15 yes old soon. But I still see my sweet lil baby with those cute lil pouty lips lol @chaserolison #WhenAMotherRealizesHerBabyIsGrowingUp.”
Sounds like our girl T-Boz definitely has baby fever!
From The Grio
Amira Ali stood nervously in the Denver International Airport, waiting to meet the daughter she hadn’t seen in 24 years.
“America saved my life,” said Ali, who arrived in the U.S. decades ago after fleeing Sudan. “I’m very happy. It’s good day for me.”
Suddenly, a shriek in the distance: her daughter Tina Deng, now 30, had spotted Ali and was running toward her. They embraced, and sobbed. Soon, Ali would also meet the grandchildren she never knew she had.
“God bless America, and God bless my kids,” Ali said, overjoyed.
Until recently, Ali thought her daughter Tina, her sister and her mother had all died in Sudan’s civil war. But when they discovered each other on Facebook, everything changed. After living separate lives for so many years, they finally reunited this week in Colorado.
“I’m so very, very happy,” said Deng as she hugged her mother. “It’s a long time, my mom is like a dream and now I see her, I can’t believe. But I’m happy.”
As a young mother, Ali had fled her southern Sudanese village during a raid by local rebels. In the chaos Ali lost track of her mother, sister, and 6-year-old daughter, Tina. After walking through the desert for four days with one of her other children, Ali finally reached a refugee camp. Her family was one of many torn apart by the war in Sudan which has killed 2 million people.
Read more about this mother and daughter story at TheGrio.com
According to The New York Times, Oprah Winfrey is in talks to make Broadway debut in the Pulitzer Prize winning play, night, Mother, starring Audra McDonald as a woman struggling to stop her daughter from killing herself.
Tony winning director, George C. Wolfe would direct the production set to hit the stage in 2015-2016. Two theater executives spoke anonymously to share details about the production that is currently hush-hush. Kind of.
Scott Sanders, a lead producer of the project said, “Oprah has had a longstanding desire to act on Broadway. She understands how unique and challenging performing live on stage will be as an actress. She and I have been looking at a number of plays and roles in order to find material and a character that truly resonate with her. We’ve recently read something that we’re both excited about but are not yet ready to officially announce the specifics.”
According to the anonymous executives, Winfrey and Audra McDonald, who starred in the revival of Porgy and Bess, met at Mr. Sanders’ apartment to do a reading of the play and all involved were happy with the results.
The 2015-16 time frame was put in place to accommodate everyone’s hectic schedule. Oprah just got finished promoting Lee Daniels’ The Butler and is running a network. Mr. Sanders is set to produce another revival of The Color Purple and Audra McDonald, a five time Tony winner, also has theater projects in the 2014-2015 season.
night, Mother was written by Marsha Norman who worked with both Winfrey and Sanders as the book writer for The Color Purple.
Originally, night, Mother opened on Broadway in 1983 and ran for a year earning Tony nominations for best play and best actresses for Anne Pitoniak and Kathy Bates. There was also a revival of the play during the 2004-2005 season starring Edie Falco.
Sounds interesting. Would you check out Lady O on Broadway?
The breastfeeding struggle continues. According to Fox affiliate KTCB in Texas, a woman from Austin was trying to breastfeed her child in a Victoria’s Secret store, but was instead asked to take her child, and her boob, to a nearby alley. This happened despite the fact that under Texas law, “a mother is entitled to breast-feed her baby in any location in which the mother is authorized to be.”
According to the Ashley Clawson, the 27-year-old mom, after finishing up her shopping experience and spending about $150 at the store on merchandise, she asked an employee if she could use a dressing room to nurse. The employee told her that she could instead try the alley outside the store, which makes a great deal of sense, right? What’s a better place to nurse a child than to take them into a possibly dingy and dangerous back alley? (sarcasm)
Obviously offended by the recommendation and admittedly “humiliated by the whole thing,” Clawson filed two complaints with the company, but didn’t get a response until after her interview with the Fox affiliate. Afterwards, she received both an official apology and a $150 store gift card.
Victoria’s Secret also issued an official statement to the Fox affiliate saying that it’s part of their policy to allow mothers to breastfeed their children in the store anyway, so they don’t know how this particular associate thought sending Clawson to an alley was a good idea:
“We have apologized to Ms. Clawson, and we are taking actions to ensure all associates understand our policy that welcomes mothers to breastfeed in our stores.”
In the comments on KTCB, some (men of course) were saying that Clawson overreacted and that while she of course shouldn’t have tried to go to the alley, she shouldn’t have expected dressing rooms used to try on clothes to be made available solely for her to sit and nurse. What are your thoughts on that and this whole situation?
“I’m Not Your Friend, I’m Your Mother!” Mom Sells Daughter’s One Direction Tickets On Ebay As Punishment!
A woman in Sudney, Australia recently embarrassed the you-know-what out of her daughter on Ebay of all places after she got to the truth about her child’s recent indiscretions.
A user known as “tsfe” posted her daughter’s four tickets to see One Direction on Ebay this week after she found her daughter had been lying about creeping around with older guys. HEr description of what she was selling likely goes down in the parental hall of fame.
“THIS AUCTION IS FOR ALL 4 ONE DIRECTION TICKETS IN SYDNEY OCTOBER 25th. You can thank my daughters self righteous and lippy attitude for their sale. See sweety? And you thought I was bluffing. I hope the scowl on your bitchy little friends faces when you tell them that your dad and i revoked the gift we were giving you all reminds you that your PARENTS are the ones that deserve love and respect more than anyone. And your silly little pack mentality of taking your parents for fools is one sadly mistaken. Anyhow. Your loss someone else’s gain who deserves them! THE TICKETS ARE SEATED IN ROW O section 57. REMEMBER AUCTION IS FOR ALL 4 TICKETS and will be sent registered post
…OH YOUR FRIENDS THOUGHT THAT A FEW PRANKS CALLS WOULD PUT ME OFF SELLING THE GIFT WE BOUGHT FOR THEM for YOUR BIRTHDAY because YOU all LIED to us about sleep overs so you could hang like little trollops at an older guys HOUSE????? Pffft!! I find it HIGHLY amusing that you girls think you invented this stuff. Tricks like this on OUR parents is how HALF of you were conceived …..And why a lot of your friends DONT have an address to send that Fathers day card to!!! I’m not your friend. I’m your MOTHER. And I am here to give you the boundaries that YOU NEED to become a functional responsible adult. You may hate me now….. But I don’t care. Its my job to raise a responsible adult..not nuture bad habits in my teen age child.”
If you know anything about pop culture, then you’re aware that One Direction is possibly the biggest group on the planet right now. For this girl and her friends to miss an opportunity like this is surely crushing her heart at this very moment.
The auction has been taken down leading us to believe the tickets have been sold, but you can still check out a screenshot over on PEOPLE.com.
Prayers go out to reality TV star Tami Roman who lost her mother earlier this week.
The “Basketball Wives” cast member has been requesting prayers all week for her mom who appeared to have been dealing an unknown illness. Just one month ago, Tami posted the photo above with her mother and the hasthtags ” #beatingiteveryday, #standingstrong, #claiminggoodhealth&longlife,” but unfortunately this week the battle came to an end. Tami broke the news on Instagram two days ago, saying:
Accompanying that post was caption that read, “My pain runs deep, my heart aches, my soul mourns – I have NEVER felt this way in my entire life. My mother is no longer with me and I may never be the same. Jesus…be with me and my daughters.”
Tami’s basketball wife sister Evelyn Lozada sent her condolences to her right-hand woman on Twitter, writing:
Sending love and prayers to @TamiRoman and her entire family on the passing of her mother. We love you and will always be here for you.
— Evelyn Lozada (@EvelynLozada) July 24, 2013
We’re sending our thoughts out to Tami and her daughters as well.
Jesus take the wheel! An overprotective parent in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, is turning over a new leaf. This mom, worried about her Harvard-bound son’s social awkwardness took to Craiglist’s “casual encounters” section to find a young woman to take his virginity. And no, we are not lying! What’s the purpose of this, you may ask? Mom Dukes wants to turn him into a “cool college kid”. Her plan is: You, a 19/20-something will be given a pair of complimentary tickets to a concert. At the event, you will target her fine, 18-year-old son who is a varsity cross country team member and has “almost zero body fat”. Once you find him, girl you better spring into action.
The Craiglist’s ad continued stating:
You start talking to him during the concert and eventually pick him up. Ask him to take you somewhere after and ditch your friends. Then you seduce him and take his virginity. Keep dating him (and showing him different sex positions) til he goes to college and then let him go gently so he’ll have the confidence to date other girls once he’s there.
Oh, but before you apply to this mother’s advertisement remember, do not fall in love with her son!
Below is a picture of the actual Craiglist’s post.
What do you think? Did this mother go too far or is she just looking out for her son?