All Articles Tagged "mother in law"
You just got off the phone with your mother-in-law. You were all set for this conversation to be different, feeling prepared for anything. But then — wham! — she said something completely off-base that you couldn’t have planned for in a million years.
Man, you think, she knows exactly how to push my buttons! How did I let this happen again?
Your emotions are flowing full force, but you have no clue what to do with them or how to deal with this woman. Now what?
As the late drama critic George Jean Nathan once said, “No man can think clearly with his fists clenched.” The same is true for daughters-in-law.
When you allow your feelings about what she did or said to keep you engaged in the “right or wrong” debate, you get stuck in those feelings—and in your own perception of your mother-in-law. And there you stay, focused on your own pain and on who caused that pain. This not only affects your future interactions with your mother-in-law but, more importantly, it affects a bigger picture—your children and their understanding about getting along in relationships.
Even though you feel stuck, the truth is that you can get unstuck! And in doing so, you can teach your children some valuable lessons to carry into their future family ties. Here are some tips:
1. Know which type of mother-in-law you are dealing with. All mothers-in-law fit into one of four types: Comfortable Carla, Mothering Margaret, Off-the-Wall Wanda, or Uncertain Sara. When you know her personality type, you can put some emotional distance between you and her actions. Then you are better able to see that her actions are more about her than about you.
Read more tips on YourTango.com.
Meeting your man’s parents can be a terrifying experience – especially when it means coming face to face with probably the most important woman in his life – his MOTHER. After all, most men hold their mothers in high regard – almost to a standard that no woman can meet – so consider yourself lucky that he wants to make the introduction. Men may not admit it, but they all want to find a woman they can bring home to mom, one they respect and admire enough to show off and be proud of – and one his mother would approve of. Now, if he doesn’t respect or love his mother, then RUN. But if your boo and his mother are tight (note: not a mama’s boy – big difference), there are some rules you need to follow when meeting her for the first time so that you make a good impression, get her stamp of approval, and give confirmation to your man that you just may be the one he’s been looking for.
Is your mother-in-law always making snide comments about the way you dress, the way you cook, the way you raise her grandchildren? Does your husband stand up for you or does he pretend it’s all in good fun? If you’ve found yourself in this situation, your mother could be driving a real wedge between you and husband. So you have to address the issue, first with your husband.
Head over to Your Tango.com to see how relationship experts suggest you should handle this.