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I really thought Beyonce had avoided the fame curse when it comes to family members and friends trying to use personal things against you to get their 15, or 20, minutes of shine. In all the years she’s been in the business, no one seems to have snitched on any dirty secrets she might have or lent their personal opinion to the public media for selfish gain. And then that untarnished record went all downhill yesterday when Celebuzz had “A 20-Minute Conversation With Beyonce’s Uncle Larry” — literally.

Where the site dug up Uncle Larry, who I’m assuming is Tina Knowles’ brother since his last name is Beyince, I can’t say. But I guarantee Bey, Tina, and Jay are going to push him right back into that hole he crawled out of just to see his name in online print. Speaking on everything from Beyonce’s childhood to Matthew Knowles, and Bey’s marriage, it seems safe to assume someone found Larry’s telephone number by luck, called him up and started asking him questions, and instead of saying “no comment,” this man just rattled on and on about his little neice like he was talking to a good friend from the past and didn’t realize Bey is a mega superstar. Check out the Q&A and some of his suspect  insinuations about Jayonce’s relationship.

On The Rumor That Beyonce Is Pregnant Again…

“I have no idea. I haven’t heard nothing, except that she’s on tour.

“Even then [when she was pregnant with Blue Ivy] she tried to keep everything secret like it’s a really big deal. She didn’t want everyone to know.

“She did tell me she wants to have more, but I didn’t know how fast. I think now would be too soon. She just had one and she needs time to really raise that baby.”

On Beyonce Before Becoming Mrs. Jay-Z…

“He was after her and she wasn’t. She told me she wasn’t too particularly fond of him.

“I would see him with her and pictures of them, I heard rumors they were together and she told me ‘no.’ You know how women get that look like ‘eww.’ I guess she wasn’t attracted to him.

“But as long as he treats her well and makes her happy, that’s all I ever wanted. He’s okay with me.”

On Beyonce Getting Married…

“I was surprised she married him. I think she got tired of being alone. When you have as much money as she does she has to be careful about people wanting her for her money. And apparently he had as much as she had.

“I don’t think the family cared. Just that whatever he’s doing he’s making money [and] made it okay.”

On Beyonce’s Father Mathew Knowles…

“I wasn’t surprised she fired him [as her manager]. I’m glad, actually.

“I know he was getting 20 percent of whatever she made, and from what I know he wasn’t doing much for her. All I knew is that he wanted her to be famous and rich so he could be rich.

“One reason I was glad she got married is because she was no longer under her dad’s control. He is a control freak.”

On Beyonce’s Early Rise To Fame…

“She didn’t want to be famous. She just wanted to be a normal child. She loved to watch cartoons and be with her friends.

“She was forced into singing.

“It took away her whole childhood. Everything was geared toward being famous. She used to get angry at [her father] a lot for taking away her childhood. That affected her.

“I would prefer she was just my little niece, but she’s a lot better off than most women.”

Larry, you are so outside the circle of trust now. This is why Bey didn’t tell you she was dating Jay-Z years ago (and why she wouldn’t call to tell you if she’s pregnant) — you run your mouth too much! Is anyone else imagining mama Tina cursing him out right now or is that just me? Regardless of how left-field Uncle Larry’s interview was though, we are still a bit curious about how much of it is true. What do you think?

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While getting a prenup might be the appropriate business decision in this day and age, it brings the creeping sense of insecurity into the relationship. At a time when you should be devising a plan to stay together, it makes it seem as though you’re ironing out your plan for breaking up.

If you truly believe in the elements of marriage and want to share your emotions, body, and ASSETS with a person, aren’t you diluting the experience by attempting to protect yourself in case of failure? Wouldn’t it be ridiculous to say I’m going to give my spouse all of my time and affection, but I’m going to continue to date on the side just in case things don’t work out? Or I’m going to love my spouse, but not too much just in case he hurts my feelings?

Many compare prenups to insurance; you have it there just in case you need it. However, the likelihood of needing insurance is high. Everyone needs life insurance since we all, one day, will die. We all need to maintain our health through regular checkups so health insurance is a must. And by law we have to carry car insurance based on the liability that could occur if there was an accident. There is no law forcing couples to sign prenuptial agreements, but with the divorce rate at about 50 percent many would argue that your chances of getting a divorce are high too. I beg to differ.

You only be at risk succumbing to the statistics if you are living an at-risk lifestyle. If you are careful and serious about your marriage the chances of you getting a divorce are not the same as a couple that does not take marriage seriously or does not work to stay together.

The greatest part about being married is having someone you can be completely vulnerable and transparent with. You know this person has the power to ruin your life at the drop of a hat because they know most of your secrets (and your social security number). But because of the love and trust you share and have built over the years, you know they never would.

Ok ok, I know that sounds mushy and all. But even beyond the mush, there is research that confirms that couples who are optimistic about their marriage are more likely to be happy in their marriage. And a National Center for Family and Marriage Research study finds that couples that have joint accounts are less likely to get divorced while couples that do not pool their funds are 145 percent more likely to divorce. Proving that financial cohesiveness in a relationship is important and it’s hard to be cohesive about your finances if you have signed a paper that encourages you to keep your finances separate.

If you are not ready to share every aspect of your life with someone, the best alternative is to not get married and just co-habitate. By co-habitating with someone and choosing not to commit to marriage you both are clear on where you stand with your money since you both can walk away with what you brought to the table or earned, that is unless you live in a state where common law marriage exists and your relationship lasts long enough to fall under those rules.

Now I do understand that in some situations where there are other people’s financial well being at stake, like business partners or family members, there may be a need for legalities before marriage. But in others cases it’s just an easy way out. I think many people want to dive into the benefits of marriage without putting in the work it takes to sustain one. Yes, you might get flack from your mom for shacking up with your boo without being married. But if you and your boo are starting your new beginning planning for the end, you just might not be as serious about the relationship as you think anyway.

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Do you find yourself checking your bank account on a daily basis over and over again? Do you give a side-eye to the idea of a joint account with your current or future spouse, automatic bill payments and building credit? If this sounds like you or someone you know, you may be a money hoarder; one who excessively acquires money, but has difficulty spending it or letting go financial control.

Here are a few ways to tell if you are hoarding your own money, unable to trust your family, your bank, or even yourself with spending it, in fear of losing a little bit of control.

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At the beginning of the year, USA Today asked if college degrees were still worth it in this economy. The sight of fresh graduates moving back in with mommy and daddy or settling into service industry gigs makes it easy to question whether higher education is the smart route to take. Even a law degree isn’t a guarantee of a job these days.

But studies show that a college degree still makes a difference in your career. Jobless rates and wage drops are still higher for workers with only a high school diploma. “Degree inflation,” a trend where employers change minimum job requirements to include degrees for positions that once upon at time only needed a diploma plays a part in this.

A college degree doesn’t get you as much as it once did, but it still gives you an advantage over your less credentialed competition.

So, what degrees give you the highest return on your investment? US News & World Report cross-referenced degree programs with starting salaries to find out. We picked out the common specialty areas from the list and added a few from Forbes’ research here.

Does gospel get a bad rap?

If you grew up in a “praying house,” as some call it, chances are you were required to go to church all the time – probably three times during the week and all day on Sunday. At home, the Bible may have been centrally located and the gospel music playing was a constant. Your parents and grandparents played all the goodies like Shirley Caesar, Mississippi Mass Choir, Mahalia Jackson (if you really want to take it back) and James Cleveland – they were the real music stars. So it was church and gospel music. That’s all there was back in the day. That’s it.

But that was then.

Today, gospel is a booming business that goes way beyond praising God in song. Many artists are doing reality shows, making songs that sound really close to secular music and other becoming involved in other business ventures that some may consider attempts to be more mainstream. It’s almost become a gift and a curse.

When it was first revealed that Mary Mary would be getting their own reality show early last year, I admit to being one of the people staunchly opposed to the entire idea. Like, of course, Mary Mary are really just two women who lead very regular lives outside of music but as they are gospel artists, I was nervous about how much they would show of their lives. I, like many others, were worried they’d be “ungodly” in their personal lives and it would turn me off.  Sure, I was prejudging them and as judgment is a part of life (despite what many of us might say), I don’t really apologize for it.  As it turns out, the show isn’t that bad (aside from the occasional very “angry” moment from one of the sisters) and I enjoy watching. They’ll be on season three soon so I guess so does everyone else.

The music is becoming a little more “interesting” as well. While many of us who know and sometimes enjoy gospel music may recall it being traditional – mostly slow and literally almost just like church – in its sound, a lot of today’s music is quite…hip. Kirk Franklin led that wave in the late 90s with “Stomp.” Artists like Mary Mary, Tye Tribbett and others are continuing the trend. While these artists are continuing to deliver “the word” in song, some feel they’ve gotten too secular (if you recall, “God In Me sounded a lot like “Blame It On The Alcohol”).   New artist Lecrae (who actually won a Grammy earlier this year) is a young gospel rapper – and a great one, at that – who grew up with hip-hop music did not initially “know God.” He surrounded himself with a party lifestyle full of drugs, alcohol and women. He finally had an epiphany of sorts and decided to turn his life over to God.  But he raps; should he not be allowed to perform his praise in the way he knows how?

The question becomes: Is today’s Gospel just getting bad rap? Are people too uptight and caught up in what gospel artists “should” be? If you think about it, a lot of these artists grew up in not only a hip hop era, but also a media based one. They’re gospel singers, not blind singers who don’t know what’s happening outside of their genre. Shouldn’t they have a right to express themselves in a way they see fit without being disrespectful to their message? It seems like many people who are familiar with gospel would like to see it stay in this “box” that’s full of choir robes and hymns. Admittedly, I’m a person who likes gospel music in spurts and am fairly conservative in what I like. But as I recently watched an episode of “The Sheards” while wondering why they would even bother with reality television, I thought, “They have a right to show their lives too. Stop being so critical.” It may not stop me in full from being critical but I’ll watch with more openness.

Gospel artists seemingly will never catch a break unless they stick to this mold of only singing and speaking about God, heaven and the like. Perhaps that’s too much responsibility and as we know, you can’t please everyone.

What do you think? Are people too hard on the gospel artists or should some gospel artists be more mindful of the product their releasing?

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First dates, or dates in general, can be nerve wrecking, anxious, and exciting all at the same time. For many of us, we are going out with a guy we are actually interested in and want to make a good impression. For the rest, maybe it’s just for a free meal. Either way, there are always a lot of things to think about before you go out on with someone. Like these 14 things.

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Let’s crunch some  numbers. According to the most recent Census data, the median paycheck for Americans is $26,364, which means half of Americans made more and half made less. If most women can’t see themselves dating a man who makes $26,000 or less, then we have our answer: No, the average man cannot afford a girlfriend.

“Women are becoming the men they want to marry.” – Gloria Steinem

— Wisdom Is Misery (@WisdomIsMisery) April 2, 2013

I found this quote buried in a HuffingtonPost piece rebuffing the advice of a Princeton Alum who suggested that young women must find their husbands in college or else, because at no point in their lives would they ever be surrounded by so many college-educated suitors with bright, well-paying futures ahead of them. The original letter, which you can find here, ended up going viral and it received mixed reviews from both men and women. As it relates to today’s topic, there are two main takeaways.

1. Most men adjust the type of women they date based on their income, among other factors. Men aren’t ignorant of what women prefer in a man. Most men know that although most women aren’t strictly motivated by money, money does motivate them. In other words, if all other factors are equal, a woman is most likely to choose the man pursuing her who makes $126k over the man who makes $26k, and why shouldn’t she? That is a smart choice to make. It sucks to be the well-rounded $26k guy, but in all fairness, if all other factors are equal, a man is most likely to choose a woman with a nice A$$ over a woman with extended back syndrome. It’s superficial, but it is what it is.

Even if they can’t afford a girlfriend, even broke men can usually afford to date. If he puts his mind to it, even a broke guy can scrape together a few dollars here and there to take you on a few dates or create the illusion that he makes more money than he actually does. Most of us know the “rich every two-weeks” guy. These are the guys in VIP every two-weeks when their checks cash, but they spend the remaining 13 days on Club Couch.

This isn’t to say that for some women, “money can’t buy love.” Men who prefer women above their pay grades seek out these types of women. Additionally, in my experience, a number of women will date the potential man over the man that stands before them, which means they’ll give a man, even a broke man, who doesn’t have a lot going for himself in the present a chance if he might have a lot going for himself in the future.

Most men don’t fear settling down as much as they fear settling down with the wrong woman. In regards to income, some men have a legitimate concern that they will “settle” before they reach their peak, and they haven’t had a chance to choose from the best options available to them. This isn’t to say some men won’t choose a woman and rise with her by his side, but I think there is an overwhelming amount of evidence that shows that men (and women) will “upgrade” if they are given the opportunity.

2. Men have no idea what women want, and I’m not sure women do either. Many men struggle with the idea that since women changed they have to change too. It seems like women sought equality with men, but as they moved closer to that goal, they began to look at men as beneath them. For men, the question is why does the rise of women have to be the downfall of men?

It is not that men as a whole are obtaining less education – although they are stagnating – it is the fact that women are obtaining more education than ever before. By 2017, women are projected to earn 64.2% of Associate’s degrees, 59.9% of Bachelor’s degrees, 62.9% of Master’s degrees, and 55.5% of Doctorates. In the Princeton Letter, the author makes a similarly interesting albeit not groundbreaking observation:

Men regularly marry women who are younger, less intelligent, less educated. It’s amazing how forgiving men can be about a woman’s lack of erudition if she is exceptionally pretty. Smart women can’t (shouldn’t) marry men who aren’t at least their intellectual equal.

While perhaps true, this statement seems to suggest that men hunt for “younger, less intelligent, less educated” women as if women are victims of the dating process. Is it unreasonable to assume that maybe women prefer older, more intelligent, more educated men? After all, if they aren’t interested, women have every opportunity to turn down these men’s pursuits. Trust me, plenty of women accomplish the amazing feat of telling a man they’re not interested in “no” every day of the week. The problem with the Princeton Letter, and others like it, is the fact that it prescribes a monolithic solution for a very diverse group, women.

Getting back to the topic at hand, the issue isn’t whether a man can really afford to have a girlfriend. A man simply has to find a woman he can “afford” at the time he can afford to be with her.

WisdomIsMisery aka WIM uses his background as an internal auditor to provide objective, yet opinionated, qualitative and quantitative analysis on life, love, and everything in between. WIM is not a model, a model citizen, or a role model. See more of WIM on his weekly write-ups for SBM, on Twitter @WisdomIsMisery, and Instagram: WisdomIsMisery.

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From StyleBlazer

As a woman, what are the things you worry about the most? A new study found that British women worry about their weight more than their finances, personal relationships, or their overall health. Although children and family came in first, weight came in second. Does this have anything to do with pressure from society to be a certain size, or are we putting pressure on ourselves to look good?

Check out the other concerns that made the list:

1. Children and family: 84%
2. Weight: 67%
3. Money: 64%
4. Relationships: 52%
5. Health: 43%

Get more details on the other findings on StyleBlazer.com.

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Nothing tests romance more than mismanaged finances. But typically people regard their money as personal business. At the same time, you know the way a man manages his money can potentially ruin a long term serious relationship or marriage. We asked our Facebook followers when they start monitoring their partners and how they spend their money. See what they had to say.

Nancy: The way they handle money says a lot about them. I’d keep a cautious eye out.

Shamika: Oh I definitely keep an eye on it. Financial problems are one of the major reasons for break ups. If you have a financially irresponsible partner, that can cause all sorts of problems.

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For many minorities, graduating from college is still a huge achievement. A large number of minority students don’t have parents or relatives who have attended college to assist them with college preparation or the skills that will help them succeed academically. More than 25 percent of low-income first-generation college students leave after their first year and 89 percent fail to graduate within six years.

However, once you prance across that stage into your new life, studies show you are likely to make significantly more money than non-college graduates. And this in turn, means there is a good chance you will be bringing in checks larger than anyone in your family has ever earned.

Being the big shot earner in your family is a fine line to walk. You want your family to know you are successful, but not too successful to avoid getting frivolous requests for money. You want to do nice things for your family, but not too much that they start to expect it. You want to give gifts, but not so often that your family members become ungrateful.

Not only is being the first in your family to make a good living stressful, but if you’re not careful with your giving it can lead you to being broke. So here are some things to keep in mind when dealing with your family and your money.

Only Give What You Can Afford. After graduation and the start of your “fancy” job, even if you don’t say a word about your salary many people in your family will assume you are making lots of cash and don’t realize the debt that can come along with going to school. With the average student loan debt at $27,253, the monthly payment for your education can be one of largest bills eating up your paycheck every month and prevent you from having much to give away to your family. But whether it is student loan debt, trying to catch up on your retirement, or trying to build up your savings if you can barely take care of your own financial responsibilities, you don’t have it to give others. Learn to say no.

Don’t Fall for the Guilt Trip. You’d be surprised how fast people will tell you how you had it so much easier than they did and all the benefits you were given, even if you grew up in the same house. Don’t let this get to you. You should not be penalized or feel guilty about your success. Many times family will ask you for things just because they feel like you have it to spare. When you say no, they somehow make a way to pay for it on their own. I’m sure we’ve all heard stories of someone giving a family member money to pay an important bill, and the next week they somehow found the cash for new sneakers. Giving out of guilt will only create tension if you feel that money that you gave was misused.

Put Your Loans In Writing. If you do decide to extend a loan to a family member be sure to create a promissory note for two reasons. One, if you really need to get your money back, you have an enforceable contract. Two, creating a loan in writing shows your family member you mean business and that you’re not just giving money away willy-nilly. You expect to get your money back.

Being the first in your family to graduate from undergrad, graduate, or professional school and make a good living can seem like a gift and curse. You want to help your family, but you also want to make sure you are in a good financial situation and not being taken advantage of.  Many times the whole reason you have worked so hard to become successful is for the benefit of your family. But there is not much you can do to help those in need if you are broke and don’t have your financial situation together either.

To be able to help you have to be in a position of power. So instead of feeling down because you declined to pay your little brother’s phone bill or make your cousin’s car payment, gain comfort in knowing your are working towards building generational wealth that can benefit your brother, cousin and your entire family for years to come.