All Articles Tagged "money"
About a month ago, my closest male friend Dionne Warwicked me and told me rather bluntly that I’m going to be single for the rest of my life. This guy is no fortune teller but one simple item on my list of things desired in a man led him to predict a lifetime of solidarity: I’d like the man that I marry to have the same income as I do. How dare I right?
Now to be completely transparent, in the past I’ve been “involved” with characters who not only didn’t have a pot to piss in, they had to borrow one and likely a few dollars for transportation to return it. And while I have a great income for a single woman in New York City, Sallie Mae owns my behind until 2038 or something like that and I have two more years before a few small debts are completely wiped out. At that point, I won’t be balling out of control, but I will be at a place where savings and discretionary income aren’t an issue and (gasp!) I’d actually like the person I spend the rest of my life with to be in the same boat, rather than on a raft drifting out to sea trying to play catch up.
I really didn’t realize I was apparently asking for the moon and the stars to come together in perfect alignment when I shared a wish that, to me, was rather simple and reasonable — and honestly negotiable at the time. But the more I was forced to defend my soft requirement, first to the friend mentioned above and then to other friends (male and female) whose opinions I sought after our disagreement, I became that much more adamant about sticking to what I want. Firstly, I became rather annoyed with the undertone in my discussions that men are the only ones allowed to have an unwavering checklist of requirements. No one tells men who don’t want to date women with kids to be more open-minded or men who won’t date women on the thicker side to be less superficial. Why all of a sudden is it when I say, “hey, just a thought here, but I’d like someone to come to the table with the same thing I am financially” are my standards suddenly too high?
Perhaps the perception here is that I want someone to take care of me, which would miss the whole part where I said the same income not higher, but because people tend to read their own insecurities into things, allow me to explain. I’m not looking for a one-sided upgrade, I’m working toward financial freedom that would allow me to travel, have a decent savings, and provide for children should I have them and I need a partner who can share the load, not become one of the expenses. I was raised by a single mother, and though I always had everything I needed when I grew up, I certainly missed out on experiences that would have been beneficial to my adolescent development and was left a bit financially handicapped as a young woman, particularly when I graduated from school and Sallie and her goons came knocking. The bottom line is at 29 I’m not trying to go backward and I refuse to believe it’s outrageous to require something of someone else that I require of myself, regardless of the stats people have thrown my way about the median income in America and the statistical probability of someone I meet rising above that.
Of course when any woman raises this issue, the topic also gets convoluted with questions like “well what about the way he treats you?” Oh, I’m sorry is it impossible to meet someone making decent pay who also respects women and treats them well? Didn’t realize I was out here searching for a unicorn. Money and manners are two separate topics. If I can be a decent human being and bring home a decent pay, surely someone with different reproductive organs can do the same. There’s nothing mutually exclusive about either requirement. And yet this morning I came across an article by Terrell Jermaine Starr on The Root in which the single 34-year-old proclaims he hasn’t had a girlfriend since he was a freshman in college in 1998 and has gone as long as five years without sex, all of which he attributes to his income which he admits is on the lower end of the spectrum. Reading his essay immediately dredged up images of Michael Ealy’s character Dominic in “Think Like a Man” being taunted by the wretched Lauren Harris (Taraji P. Henson). Even though I’m a woman who could be considered to be of the latter mentioned’s ilk, I find it hard to believe Starr’s six-figure-earning female counterparts wouldn’t give the debt-free international traveler a chance. While Starr says he only wrote this piece as a definitive answer as to why he has trouble dating, what’s missing from his essay are his own list of requirements for a woman which I hypothesize might also have something to do with his relationship status.
Without knowing Starr personally, I don’t believe his income is the million-dollar answer to his single problem anymore than it is mine. An individual’s financial health is one of those things you typically don’t learn until you’re deeper into a relationship — unless a man is treating you to Mickey Ds on a regular and always disclosing his money woes. That said, I don’t rule out anyone in the dating pool strictly based on their finances. However, as the relationship progresses, I do think it’s important to discuss income and earning potential to see if you’re on the same page as far as financial goals and lifestyle preferences are concerned. Like anything else, there’s going to be compromise and for women like me, we may one day have to decide whether a certain quality of life is more important than a certain person in our life. If we decide the former is the case I don’t think that’s unreasonable. What do you say?
Do you use YOLO to make decisions in your 20’s? If so, you’re wasting valuable time.
Sure, some experimentation to find your path is expected. But, don’t mistake “trial and error” years for “throw away” years.
These years still count.
It’s an early opportunity to lay out the framework for the rest of your life. So check out these 10 simple tips to make sure you’re making the most of your 20’s.
Could you earn more money by staying in the same position? While rare, it is possible. By making just a few simple changes to your resume, job title, or even your facial expressions you can add zeros to your salary pretty soon — either at the same company or your next one.
A recent study pointed to likeability as one of the number one ways you can increase your salary . Employers who think you’ll work well with others and find you generally likable during your interview are more likely to pay you more. So pick up a copy of How to Win Friends And Influence People and smile your way to getting paid more for the work you’re already doing.
The saying “live below your means” doesn’t only apply to “normal” people—even celebrities do it from time to time. Here are 15 celebrity couples who live surprisingly modest for their bank accounts.
From Latina Madre
Every woman should have some type of income that is hers and hers alone. Sure you can share it with your family (who wouldn’t) but heaven forbid things take a turn for the worst. There should be a financial cushion to keep things going.
Whether you are working a 9 to 5 job or are a stay at home mother, there are tons of ways to make money on the side.
Read more about financial tips at LatinaMadre.com
From Latina Madre
When it comes to personal finances, many women tend to let their husbands take care of all of it, including mortgage payments, investments and retirement funds. However, with many women now being the breadwinners or raising children alone, it’s time mujeres become knowledgeable in handling money too. While you don’t necessarily need to become the next wolf of Wall Street, it pays to be knowledgeable.
Read more finance news at LatinaMadre.com
Lawsuits, taxes, divorce settlements, mortgages, whatever reason for the owed funds, these famous folks weren’t hearing it. Check out this list of stingy celebrities who wouldn’t pay up for nothing.
Kordell knows he could have given Porsha something.
When you decide to pull-up your big girl panties and take charge of your finances like a grown woman, you may begin to realize that everyone will not be happy with your new frugal lifestyle. Your shopaholic friends will become your new financial frenemies and say things to keep you chained to the door of revolving credit, conspicuous consumption and living beyond your means. But they will never outwardly admit that they want what’s financially worse for you. They are like wolves in sheep’s clothing–they will sugar coat what they have to say the way a true financial enemy would do—with flattery and platitudes.
Discerning between you financial frenemy and financial friend is a cornerstone to developing a healthy financial backbone. But be strong and of good courage when you come across the forked tongue of your financial frenemy. Your wallet and your financial future depend on it.
Here are five things that financial frenemies love to say to appeal to keep your financial situation in critical condition:
1. “You only live once (YOLO)”: It’s true; you only live once, but here is something else to remember: each of your credit card bills, mortgage payments and car notes has their own life cycle OAM (once a month.)
2. “But it is on sale…” If you are desperately trying to adhere to a budget, a financial frenemy will gladly try to throw you off your course to debt-free living by saying, “but it’s on sale” to justify something that is not scheduled in your budget. What your financial frenemy fails to understand is that buying unnecessary items whether for a little or a lot is wasted money if it is not a need.
3. “You work hard, you deserve it.” This statement really kills me. When your financial frenemy starts whispering this yadda-yadda, ask them to be more specific about what “it” really means. Because when it comes to spending money that you do not have on things that you already own, “it” really means the following: less money, more debt, more crap, and more clutter. I doubt that that is something that you work hard for or deserve.
Read more about finances at HelloBeautiful.com
There’s nothing that will make a person do the two-step quite like receiving a bump in their pay. Big or small, extra money in your check is something you can always use – just make sure you don’t blow it all. Believe it or not you can set yourself back and even into debt if you aren’t too careful. Here are the dos and don’ts to consider when your pay increases.
Mariah Carey is being criticized by the Human Rights Foundation (HFR) for a recent performance in Angola. HRF has dubbed the nation’s president, Jose Eduardo dos Santos, a “notoriously corrupt” dictator. He is said to have been responsible for the deaths of politicians, journalists and activists who oppose him.
The two-hour concert was a part of a gala for the Angolan Red Cross and was sponsored by mobile phone company Unitel. Dos Santos’s daughter Isabel owns Unitel and is the president of the Angolan Red Cross.
The HRF president, Thor Halvorssen, expressed his opinion in a statement:
“Mariah Carey can’t seem to get enough dictator cash, reportedly more than $1 million this time,” Halvorssen said. “Just five years ago she performed for the family of Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi. Now, she goes from private performances to public displays of support and credibility for one of Africa’s chief human rights violators and most corrupt tyrants. It is the sad spectacle of an international artist purchased by the ruthless police state to entertain and whitewash the father-daughter kleptocracy that has amassed billions in ill-gotten wealth while the majority of Angola lives on less than $2 a day.”
EEK. You can read the rest over on ESSENCE.com where they also mention other celebs who’ve gotten caught up in similar situations.
Do you think celebrities need to be more mindful of the gigs they accept?