All Articles Tagged "mommy in chief"

Abolish The Idea Of Perfection While Pursuing Progress

May 2nd, 2014 - By Kendra Koger
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Source: Shutterstock

Source: Shutterstock

Have you ever had a moment where you felt like you needed to wait until things in your life were “perfect” before pursuing something you really wanted?

If you’re part of the IG Fitness Fam then you’ve undoubtedly came across the meme:  “Progress, not Perfection.”  I’m personally enthralled whenever I see the message, because there have been opportunities and times in the past that I passed something up that I really wanted because I thought that things in my life were too out of order to pursue.

Now, I’m not necessarily talking about those vain desires that we might want.  There are some things that we do have to wait on to be completed before we pursue another action, like learning how to swim before participating in a triathlon.  Or confessing your undying love to your crush and s/he doesn’t even know that you exist, you have to at least introduce yourself first.

I’m talking about things that don’t necessarily coincide with one another, but we create a correlation between them.  Things like:  “I can’t apply for this job unless I lose some weight,” or “I can’t go to my high school reunion until I get into a relationship,” or “I can’t participate in this open mic night until I get some comfortable shoes (because performing doesn’t just come from the soul, it comes from the soles.)”

Every now and then my mind wonders why there is a need for such memes.  Why do we need to be reminded to appreciate the small steps on our way to our larger goals?  Why do we have to talk ourselves out of talking ourselves out of dreams/desires/aspirations?

I don’t know if this is true for all, but I could imagine that for some, living in this current world of airbrushed and photoshopped reality can be intimidating.  You wake up in the morning, feel good about yourself, and then log in on any one of your social media accounts and see the glamorized life that others are living, and then suddenly your day is enveloped in a cloud of doubt, self-belittling, and questions.  You begin to try to figure out why some people are reaching milestones that you haven’t;  so you look for the differences between you and then begin to internalize it, thinking that going after things you want would only happen if you had certain factors in your life.

Don’t disparage though, I’ve been in that situation before in life as well (it’s one of the reasons why I don’t have a Facebook).  I remember a period of time, after working a job in another state and moving back home and having to admit that I’d put on some weight.  One of my best friends invited me to a gym in my neighborhood, and I remember telling her:  “I can’t go to the gym until I lose some weight.”

There was so much of a need to be seemingly perfect, in an environment created to help you with your flaws, that I felt (at that time) that I could only go until I was flawless.

If you don’t take anything else from this article, take these nuggets:

If you’re putting your dreams off until you’re perfect, then you’re going to be waiting for eternity, because there will never be a time that will be completely perfect.  There will always be a downside, something small that’s going to compel you to stay in your sea of complacency, because even though you might hate being there, it’s familiar.

Also, that sea of complacency that you’re floating in isn’t just familiarity, it’s fear.  It’s fear of wanting to better yourself, exploring outside of your current surroundings into something more vast, complex, and with the possibility of great success.  However, you stay in the condition that you’re in, because if you go out on that ledge, make yourself vulnerable, and then fail, then you feel as though you might have no one to blame but yourself.

Though it hurts, failure is a part of life, and many of the people that you might look up to/idolize have not only failed, but were in your shoes as well.  The only thing that separates them is that they decided to follow their passion, talent, and desires into an avenue that worked well for them.  You have that same ability.

So instead of waiting for things to be perfect, strive for progress.  That way, you’ll never be disappointed when you can’t grasp the intangible.

Now, I’m a realist, and if you are a person like me who felt a little hesitant to go to the gym because you feel as though you’re not thin enough, here’s a great at home workout that’ll help you get more comfortable before going to the gym and gaining your progress.  Learning to stop expecting perfection takes some time, so until you get into the mind-frame of “Progress, not Perfection,” this is my gift to you:

NYC, the #DirtyThirty, and Finding Me

April 25th, 2014 - By Kendra Koger
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Source: Shutterstock

Source: Shutterstock

When you are single mother, it’s very easy to feel sorry for yourself.  But what was surprising was that someone else felt sorry for me, and it led to a trip 24 hour trip to New York City.  Let me explain…

My older sister Kelli had been planning her “dirty thirty” for about a few months.  She moved to the east coast, and since New York was close to her, she wanted to have a girl’s night out there.  Being the exciting and supportive sister that I am, I tried to find fun places for her to go, but seeing that I live in the Midwest, my abilities were limited.  Then, a glorious phone call came.  It was Kelli, and she had a suggestion, why don’t I come too?

Kelli is just as busy as I am, if not more.  She’s a mother of two great children, but she has a husband, and the two of them are a great couple.  He agreed to watch the kids while she celebrated her #DIRTYTHIRTY (woop woop!).  So when she suggested for me to come, I was a little dumbfounded.  “Well, who’s going to watch my child?

I never wanted to be one of those mothers who would just pass their kids off to “grandma,” for the weekend while I partied.  I figured that this is MY child.  My parents didn’t take a part in her being, so they’re not going to be subjected to having their weekends filled with taking care of her while I gallivanted around.

But apparently, my family felt sorry for me, and my father agreed to take my daughter for the 30 hours that I was gone, pitched in money for my flight, and my mother and I flew out to meet my sister, her in-laws and her friends in the Big Apple (don’t I sound like a tourist?!).

My daughter had never spent more than three or four hours away from me, and we’ve never been apart overnight, so my mind was constantly on that.

But when we put on our going out garb… honey.  After one last call before she went to sleep, I decided to enjoy the first time in three years that I was just… me.

I didn’t realize how much I missed myself, but I did, and I remembered that I was awesome!  After dinner at a nice supper club just a few blocks from Time Square, we took to the dance floor and popped, jived, and robot-ed all over that floor.  It. Was. Phenomenal.

After the great night, and heading back to our hotel room, my sister, who we were celebrating, pulled me aside and told me that she was so glad that I had fun, because “if anyone deserved a night out, it was you.”

It’s been about a month since that trip, and I still hold firm on not being away from my child for too long (no more than four hours), but during that time that we are apart, I make sure to reconnect with that girl named Kendra.  She deserves to have time where she is appreciated as well.  I really love her, and she deserves to know it, no matter how broken down her dance moves are.

Wait, I Gotta Cook Too? A Mother’s Struggle

April 4th, 2014 - By Kendra Koger
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I have very few regrets in life.  One is not telling that cute guy in college, who tried to talk to me, that I liked him too.  Another is self-dying my normally brown hair black, and being called Elvira in high school for a few months.  My last regret is never being in the kitchen when my mother cooked as I grew up.

In the morning, my mother would make homemade biscuits, eggs, grits, and anything else a southern girl would love.  On the weekend our plates would be filled with things like baked chicken, brown rice, greens, and a whole lot of other stuff that I never paid attention to.  My other sisters were in the kitchen with her, but I think that my propensity to ask too many questions tended to get on my mother’s nerves and she would usually ask me to go watch TV.

I probably should have started to ask questions when the first time I made soup for a presentation in high school and it ended up the consistency of paste (but it was delicious though!).  Assistance was needed when the first time I tried to cook Thanksgiving dinner for my daughter and I after we became free agents, burned it, and ended up cooking (burnt) pancakes… so sad.

I realized that I never really had to know how to cook because other people just took the reigns.  My mother cooked while I was growing up, I either ate in a cafeteria or ordered out when I was in college and my husband cooked when we were married.  The only thing I knew how to do in a kitchen was wash dishes, and that skill wasn’t feeding my child when she moved from canned baby food and was expecting a feast each day.

I started out fixing her things that I liked.  I realized later that the reason why I liked some of the crap that I ate was because it was easy to fix.  A few minutes in the microwave, toaster, oven, or a quick call for takeout solved most of my hunger problems, as they did hers, for the moment.  But,I began to feel very guilty about it.  I knew that my diet wasn’t the healthiest, and I didn’t want to pass that habit on to her.  So, I started doing something that I only did after a “Top Chef” marathon, I ventured into the kitchen and started trying to actually cook.

Some of the results… well, a lot of the results in the beginning, were horrible.  I either had the heat too high, caused a fire, or didn’t realize that the top wasn’t fully on the Lawry’s as it spilled all over what I was cooking.  However, I knew that one day I wanted to have a moment of my daughter coming to me (preferably in her hoover craft, one can dream) and asking me how to cook some type of great recipe.  I wanted her to be healthy, and I knew that the only way that I could ensure that would be if I knew exactly what was going in her food.  I also realized that if I wanted to live long enough to get a hoover craft myself, I had to stop being lazy and venture outside of my comfort zone.

I don’t think that I’ll be on Top Chef anytime soon, but it has been a step away from the Drive-thru, and I think that’s pretty good progress.

Spend Time With Your Man: Laila Ali’s Date Night Secrets

December 19th, 2013 - By jade
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ABOUT THIS EPISODE 

In the last episode of Mommy in Chief, Laila Ali and her friends gave busy moms advice on how to take time to pamper yourself. In this episode, she’s going to show you how to make time for your significant other since he is just as important as your kids.

Want More Mommy In Chief? Watch these episodes:

Season 4

 Season 3

Season 2

Season 1

 

Me-Time: How to Pamper Yourself As a Mom

December 17th, 2013 - By jade
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ABOUT THIS EPISODE 

In this episode of Mommy in Chief, Laila Ali reminds all of you busy moms that you need to take time out for yourself. She also invited some of her celebrity friends to share their secrets on how they make time for themselves.

Instagram handles are below:

Amber Noble Garland @ambernoblegarland

Holly Robinson Peete @hollyrpeete

Shanice @shaniceonline

Lail Ali @thereallailaali

 

Want More Mommy In Chief? Watch these episodes:

Season 4

 Season 3

Season 2

Season 1

 

Learn How To Make Laila Ali’s Famous Oven Fried Chicken

December 10th, 2013 - By jade
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ABOUT THIS EPISODE 

The holidays are here and if you’re a busy mom it means your time is limited! In this episode of Mommy in Chief, we are showing you to make Laila Ali’s Famous Oven Fried Chicken.

The full recipe can be found here.

Want More Mommy In Chief? Watch these episodes:

Season 4

 Season 3

Season 2

Season 1

 

Sponsored Content: Pay, Print & Ship™ Your Holiday Packages With USPS® This Season

December 10th, 2013 - By Madame Noire
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Laila Ali

If you’re like most shoppers across the U.S., finding the perfect gift for your friends, family, and loved ones is just one aspect of the Holiday shuffle. You also have to get those presents to the intended recipients.

Thankfully, the U.S. Postal Service® has you covered with improved domestic Priority Mail®, which lets you track holiday packages from drop-off to delivery, and makes it much easier for you to Send Joy With Ease this holiday season — such as the Holiday care package our resident Mommy-in-Chief Laila Ali put together featuring some of her favorite mailable ingredients to make her famous oven-fried chicken.

Yup, you can Pay, Print & Ship™ with Priority Mail® all right from your home with just a few clicks! Simply:

  1. Order free Priority Mail Flat Rate® boxes which will be delivered right to you.
  2. Use Click-N-Ship® to create, print and pay for your postage label at home
  3. Schedule a free next-day Package Pickup*
  4. Use USPS Tracking™† to check the status of your package

*For details on free Package Pickup, visit usps.com/pickup.

† Limitations may apply for certain destinations. Not available for Priority Mail International® Flat Rate Envelopes or Small Flat Rate Boxes.

 

New Host! New Topics! Mommy in Chief is Back!

December 6th, 2013 - By jade
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Mommy in Chief is back for Season 4 and this time it is brought to you by USPS®. Our new host is the beautiful and talented Laila Ali and on this season she will go over topics that range from preparing the perfect Holiday Care Package with her famous Oven Fried Chicken ingredients to inviting some of her celebrity friends to share advice on how to find me-time for yourself.

Make sure you watch the first episode airing on December 10th where she will be making her famous oven fried chicken, just in time for the holidays!

 

Laila

 

Want More Mommy In Chief? Watch these episodes:

 Season 3

Season 2

Season 1

 

 

 

Highlights & Bloopers | The Best Moments of Mommy in Chief Season 3

June 24th, 2013 - By jade
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For the final episode of this season of Mommy in Chief, we wanted to put together the best bloopers on set and highlight the best moments from the season. Special thanks to our host Karyn Parsons for giving us another great season of Mommy in Chief! If you missed any of the full episodes feel free to click on the links below and let us know what you think by leaving a comment below.

 

Want More Mommy In Chief? Watch these episodes:

 Season 3

Season 2

Season 1

 

 

 

Building Your Child’s Self Esteem | Mommy in Chief

June 17th, 2013 - By jade
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ABOUT THIS EPISODE

In this episode of Mommy in Chief, we are discussing how to build your child’s self esteem. It is very important as a mother to build your child’s self esteem from birth. We also have a special treat for you at the end of the segment. You don’t want to miss the cutest little kids expressing how confident and beautiful they are!

FEATURED GUEST 

Iris L. Johnson, LCSW, PC, is a graduate of Hunter College School of Social Work, Ackerman Institute Externship and Hunter College’s Adoption Therapy Programs. Ms. Johnson has served in leadership positions at several New York City social service agencies and has extensive experience working with young children, adolescents, and families who have experienced trauma and socioeconomic oppression. She has presented nationally on issues that impact women and children, especially families of African descent.

She is a mother of two-one biological and one foster care/adoption.

Ms. Johnson maintains a private practice in New York City and Brooklyn, working with individuals, couples, families, and groups.

 

Want More Mommy In Chief? Watch these episodes:

 Season 3

Season 2

Season 1