Source: Shutterstock

From Essence

When I was younger, I used to hate when the grown folks would reminisce about the “good ole’ days.” Now that I’m older, I catch myself doing the same far more often than I would like to admit. It’s natural to have fond memories of times gone by, except when it comes to past dysfunctional relationships.

Recently, one of my sister-friends asked to stop by my house unexpectedly. I could tell from the tone in her voice that she needed to talk. Upon her arrival, she told me that she’d just picked up the last of her belongings from her old home where her ex-boyfriend still lives. She was feeling a sense of melancholy and missing the relationship, which is understandable after a final act like that one.

“Reminisce from a distance,” I cautioned. True, she’s been single for about two years. (Yes, it took her two years to get the rest of her stuff). And, it is so easy to get caught up in what was when you’re single.  Believe me, I have done the same thing.  But, what you can’t do is romanticize a situation that was a bad one in reality a bad one. There was a reason why you broke up and you should always keep that in mind when your spirit starts floating backward in time.

Read more on Essence.com.

Terrilynn Monette, the talented New Orleans school teacher who was credited with improving her underperforming elementary school, has been missing for almost two weeks.

Monette, the 26 year old originally from California, was last seen on Saturday, March 2 when she was out with friends celebrating being nominated for “Teacher of the Year” for her district. Apparently, Monette was feeling like she’d had too much to drink and told her friends she was going to go sleep it off in her car parked nearby.

At around 4 am her friends saw that Monette was talking to a man near her car. By sunrise both she and her 2012 black Honda Accord were missing and her cell phone had stopped emitting a signal.
The man she was seen speaking with has been interviewed and the police have ruled him out as a suspect.

Unlike many of the other missing, black men and women, Monette’s story seems to be receiving a lot of media coverage.

More than 200 people, including members of Terrilyn’s family, her coworkers and volunteers have been searching for Monette along with the police.

Before some of you attempt to blame Monette’s disappearance on her “irresponsibility,” know that this could happen to any woman, whether she’d been drinking or not.

Recently, CNN aired a piece about Terrilyn.

If you have any information about Terrilyn Monette, please let someone know.

Source: Las Vegas Police Department/AP Photo)

From Black Voices

The body of 10-year-old Jade Morris was found in a Nevada desert on Thursday, according to family members.

The discovery was made by a man walking his dog near an unfinished housing development in the northern stretches of the Las Vegas Valley, Las Vegas Metro Police said.

Family members told the Black and Missing Foundation that they visually identified the remains for police, who have not yet released a statement positively identifying the body.

Read the statement from the family and the rest of the story surrounding Jade’s disappearance and subsequent death at Black Voices.com

Source: CNN.com

There was a lot of odd news reported over the weekend, but this had to be one of the most suspicious stories on the Internet given the Jackson family’s fighting over Michael’s estate and even Paris’ upcoming movie roles.

Late Saturday night, Katherine Jackson’s nephew Trent reported her missing to Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Office saying none of her grandchildren had been able to get in touch with her for over a week. Fourteen-year-old Paris, Michael’s daughter, made the news even more public when she tweeted on Sunday morning:

“yes, my grandmother is missing. i haven’t spoken with her in a week i want her home now.”

The public’s gears started grinding immediately thinking one of Katherine’s sons might have potentially done something to her since it’s been reported that Michael left all of his money to his mother, as well as placed his children in her care. But then Jermaine sent out his own Twitter message about his mother, insisting that she wasn’t missing, but resting in Arizona. He wrote:

Let me put to bed today’s nonsense: as I made clear some days ago, Mother is safe and well in Arizona with her daughter and our sister, Rebbie, resting up on doctor’s advice, so it is beyond me how she can be reported “missing”

This incredulous claim was made for reasons best known to the adult/s who filed it but it seems no accident that it comes after we, the sons and daughters, put in place care-taking for our own mother, taking her to Arizona in line with doctor’s advice following a check-up.

Furthermore, it dismays me that such an alarmist “missing person” report has caused unnecessary anxiety among Michael’s children who will understandably react to what they misunderstand, hear or are told.

No-one is being “blocked” from speaking with Mother. She is merely an 82-year-old woman following doctor’s orders to rest-up and de-stress, away from  phones and computers. Everyone has been well aware of this within the family,  but I would like to reiterate my reassurance to the outside world that Mother is  fine. In the meantime, thank you for all your thoughts and concerns.

Before Jermaine’s assurance that his mother was safe and her whereabouts known, lawyer Sandra L. Ribera of the Ribera law firm that filed the missing report, insisted they had good reason to be concerned.

“The kids were trying to get a hold of their grandmother and they haven’t been able to reach her for almost a week,” Ribera told Reuters in an email. “They are told she’s unavailable. I’m concerned that she’s not safe.”

After Jermaine’s statement came out, she commented further:

“Concerned family members, particularly Michael’s children, have since made ongoing pleas to those believed to have knowledge of (Katherine’s) location for information regarding her whereabouts. The only reports provided have been both conflicting and confusing – especially those pertaining to the status of Katherine Jackson’s health.”

Adding more confusion, or perhaps support, to Jermaine’s statement was this tweet from Paris, backtracking on her initial missing claim:

“I am going to clarify right now that what has been said about my grandmother is a rumor and nothing has happened, she is completely fine.”

According to Reuters, Paris also apologized to her uncles online, but all tweets have since been deleted. I don’t think anyone will be sure of Katherine’s state until she makes an appearance or statement herself. TMZ claims LA law enforcement officials informed them they spoke with Katherine and she is alright; therefore, they are now turning their attention on her nephew Trent to see why he had the report filed in the first place. Something still seems off though. What do you think?

Brande Victorian is the news and operations editor for madamenoire.com. Follow her on twitter @Be_Vic.

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Men don’t do so well with subtleties. They work better on cold hard facts, viewing these as the best tools to make decisions, so they often miss subtle cues, clues and signs about what women want or feel at any given time.

You put it down, but he doesn’t pick it. Not because he’s being difficult, but because you’re not being straightforward enough for a man’s rather obtuse communication skills. At times, this may make him seem distant or disinterested, when really he has no clue what you’re getting at.

Here’s a run down at the types of subtleties and messages men often miss:

Source: singleblackmale.org

The “I need affection” signs

Women are always asking their men for emotional presence, something viewed entirely different from physical presence in her eyes. But a man’s typical response to this is “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t care,” so he’s not even tuned in to subtle cues you try to send that are supposed to say that you need more affection.

If you hadn’t heard the story yet, this is how it goes:

Susan Powell is a woman from Utah who went missing in December of 2009. A stock broker, she was reported missing by family members after she failed to show up for work, but not only was she reported missing, so was her husband Josh and her two sons, Braden and Charles. To the surprise of everyone though, her husband Josh and their two children finally came home immediately after the report was filed, and he insisted that he had taken his two young sons on a camping trip, which is why had been out of touch. However, Josh insisted that Susan was left at home and the last time he saw her or talked to her, she was fine. Susan’s belongings, including her keys, her purse, her car and more, were left behind. That was 2009. It is 2012 and no one has seen Susan since she went missing. But since that time, Josh has been the person of interest in her disappearance. Because of that, along with proof that he had child pornography in his possession, temporary custody of his two sons was granted to Susan’s father, Chuck. Joshua was still allowed to see the young boys though, and the last time they were brought to his home was on Sunday, Feb. 5.

On that Sunday, Josh and his two sons were killed when his home in Washington State exploded. It is presumed that the explosion was set off by a gas leak done by Josh, and is now being treated as a murder-suicide. Police believe he may have done it not only because his most recent effort to gain back custody of his sons was denied, but also because 7-year-old Braden (Charles is five) started saying that when they went on that camping trip in 2009, their mother was in the trunk of the car. Josh could have possibly believed that his lies were going to be exposed, and in an effort to stop all that, took his life as well as that of his sons.

In an interview with PEOPLE, Susan’s father, Chuck, said that the family saw this coming and tried to let the authorities know:

“We stated our fear many times, that if he was feeling desperate, that he would possibly kill himself and the boys, that this kind of thing could happen. If he felt there was no way out, that he wouldn’t let anyone else have them. They were possessions to him.”

“They were all aware of our fears – that he would take a cowardly way out.”

When I heard this story late last night, I couldn’t even believe it. If you want to take your own life for in some way hurting the mother of your children, that’s one thing, but to take the children with you? That’s unthinkable and just evil. If Susan’s father and family believed Josh was a threat to himself and the boys, it’s a shame that something couldn’t have been done about it sooner. May both little Braden and Charles rest in peace.

Did you hear about this?

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A trick to throw investigators off of two missing women’s trails may actually serve as a link between the two cases. Twenty-three-year-old Phoenix Coldon was last seen in St. Louis Dec. 18 and just nine days later, Stacey Nicole English, a 36-year-old Atlanta woman was reported missing. Both victims’ cars were found with the engine still running, and in both cases, the investigation was slowed down because the cars the women were driving had been impounded. Neither police department realized that fact until several days into the investigations.

Given the similarities, the family of Phoenix Coldon is attempting to determine if their daughter is linked in any way to Stacey English. According to Atlanta Police Department public affairs manager Carlos Campos, investigators are “aware” of the Coldon case and “are planning to reach out to authorities in the St. Louis area as part of our investigation.

Nonprofit organization Black And Missing But Not Forgotten it is also keeping watch. “If the cases are connected, we are looking at a possible traveling serial kidnapper/killer and there could be more,” said Deidra Robey, the organization’s CEO and founder.

Phoenix was last seen by her mother in the driveway of their St. Louis County home at about 3 pm on Dec. 18.

“She was sitting in her vehicle,” her mother said. “She does that often. She’ll sit in the car and talk on the phone. That’s what I thought she was doing. When I looked out again, her vehicle was gone.”

Initially the mother thought her daughter had gone to the store, but when she didn’t return she filed a missing persons report.

Stacey Nicole English was last seen on or about Christmas day.  Her father, Rev. Kevin Jamison, told the Huffington Post on Wednesday that Robert Kirk, a resident of St. Louis, had been visiting with her, but the two allegedly got into an argument.

“The gentleman said they got into a dispute and she put him out of her house on Dec. 26 around 10:30 p.m.,” Jamison said. “That person has now gone back to Missouri.”

Families of both women say their disappearance is highly out of character and that they’ve felt out of the loop in the investigations, saying they don’t believe the police departments are doing all they can to find the women. The fact that Robert Kirk returned to the state where Phoenix was reported missing looks like a huge red flag but it’s unclear whether St. Louis police are interested in him. Campos says that Robert has not been named as a person of interest in Stacey English’s case but that the Atlanta Police Department would like to speak with him further.

At least the police are open to the possibility of a connection here, unlike the murdered women in Detroit. Do you think the coincidences in the cases are suspicious?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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Police have confirmed that the person who jumped off of the Arthur Ravenel Jr. Bridge on Dec. 9 was Tosin Oyelowo, a 25-year-old resident at Medical University of South Carolina (MUSC).

Oyelowo had been reported missing when she did not show up for work at MUSC on Dec. 12. Although police still have not recovered the body of the jumper, eyewitness accounts place Oyelowo at the scene. According to an incident report, police also found Oyelowo’s car parked at a Shell gas station near the bridge; her purse and keys were also found at the top of the bridge near where she had been seen around 3:40 p.m on the 9th.

Oyelowo came from Lagos, Nigeria, but her family moved to Raleigh, NC, where she studied  at the University of Charleston (West Virginia) School of Pharmacy. At the time of her death, she was a first-year pharmacy resident at MUSC.

Police say they are still looking for her body with the help of the S.C. Department of Natural Resources, U.S. Coast Guard, and Charleston County Rescue Squad.

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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Police now believe that missing 5-year-old Jhessye Shockley is dead, given details that have surfaced about abuse at the hands of her mother who also coached Jhessye’s siblings to lie about the last time they saw her.

According to the Associated Press, Jerice Hunter, 38, was arrested on a felony count of child abuse Monday—more than five weeks after she reported her daughter Jhessye missing. Although police didn’t say what specific new information they received that led to Hunter’s arrest, a probable cause statement concerning an interview with Hunter’s 13-year-old daughter, said the teenager recently began to talk to her foster mother about Jhessye, saying that “she was told by her mother, Jerice, to lie to police about Jhessye being missing.”

When police interviewed Jhessye’s sister, she said that she had not actually seen Jhessye the day she disappeared, contrary to her previous story. The document also states that the teen said several weeks ago Hunter became angry when she returned home to find Jhessye wearing a long T-shirt while watching TV with a neighbor boy, telling the girl she was a “ho” before taking her into a bedroom.

The teen said she could hear her sister screaming and crying in the room and that Hunter kept Jhessye in a bedroom closet and deprived her of food and water, and that she had seen the girl with black eyes and bruises and cuts to her face and body.

“(She) reported that Jhessye’s hair had been pulled out and described Jhessye as not looking alive and that she looked like a zombie,” the document said. “(She) said that the closet where Jhessye had been looked like a grave and smelled like dead people.”

The teen also said a few days before Jhessye disappeared her mother spent the entire day cleaning the apartment and cleaning her shoes from the closet with soap and bleach. Police said they found a receipt that showed Hunter bought food and a bottle of bleach two days before she reported her daughter missing.

At a news conference Monday, Glendale Police Sgt. Brent Coombs said authorities do not expect to find Jhessye alive, and that Hunter is the investigation’s “Number one focus.”

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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Pop quiz. Name me five widely-released movies that starred a black woman in the past year.  I’m not talking about as the sassy friend or some small featured part. I’m talking about the lead in the movie. Could you do it? If you could, it probably took you a good minute, right? The current television landscape also has few Black female characters and most of these talented black actresses must shine in smaller, secondary roles especially on the big four networks ABC, CW, CBS, and NBC. There are notable exceptions like ABC’s Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice, and the upcoming ABC show Scandal (I love Shonda Rhimes) that show black female characters we love. I also love Maya Rudolph as Ava on Up All Night. And smaller recent movies like Pariah by Dee Rees (premiering in December) and 2008′s Medicine for Melancholy by Barry Jenkins still offer black actresses headlining roles. Say what you want to say about Tyler Perry, but the man offers black actresses top billing as well.  However, I find it disturbing that there are not a greater number of juicy, complex roles available for black women anymore. 

I grew up in the 90s when black television and movies were at a high point in both quality and quantity. Shows like A Different World, The Cosby Show, Girlfriends, Living Single and Soul Food (well early 2000s too) all had meaty, funny, and touching roles for black women. Movies like Love Jones, Love and Basketball, Menace to Society, Girl 6, Higher Learning, Eve’s Bayou, What’s Love Got to Do With It and Boomerang gave Black actresses complex characters to show off their acting chops. As a little girl, these shows and films inspired me to want to act, then eventually to write and direct for TV and film. These were stories I could relate to and that reflected my life as a black woman in this country. These films and shows gave us talented and beautiful black actresses like Halle Berry, Angela Bassett, Nia Long, Sanaa Lathan, Jurnee Smollett, Lynn Whitfield, Phylicia Rashad, and Tracee Ellis Ross; women I still look up to as a black artist.  However, the landscape has changed. The black sitcom has all but disappeared and of those that exist how many are good? I know what my answer is, but I’ll leave you to ponder that one. Where does a little Black girl who dreams of a life in the arts look to inspire her these days? Where can she go to see quality television and film that feature faces that look like hers? If she flips on television she doesn’t see much that resembles her unless you count the shouting and fighting women of reality television. This makes me very sad.

Playing the “girlfriend or wife” of a black male star like Idris Elba and Will Smith in television and movies is not exactly a meaty role, but it used to be a role reserved for black women. Now, these roles are often cast with non-black women. Shadow and Act’s blog explores this trend in a great article that focuses on interracial coupling on television. While I am not one to hate on interracial anything, it troubles me that this trend is taking roles away from black actresses and that it’s so rare to see two black people coupled up on the small or big screens anymore.

What can you do to help the situation? Make an effort to find out about the smaller independent films that feature black women in substantial roles and support them with your presence and your dollars. For a  great blog to keep you up on the indie scene, visit  Shadow and Act. Also check out AFFRM, better known as the African American Film Releasing Movement. This organization provides distribution and promotion for quality black films. As for television, support quality online artists like the Awkward Black Girl. Hopefully once the networks see that there is an audience for shows like this, they will offer to put them on the airwaves, but only time will tell.

Do you miss the television and film of the 90s?

Grace Edwards is a writer living in New York city. Check out her blog or follow her on Twitter @gracyact.

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