All Articles Tagged "miscarriage"
I personally take great pleasure in women over thirty getting pregnant. With so much pressure from society, the media and our own bodies, to procreate with a quickness, it’s scary to be quite honest. So, I always applaud when a woman over 35 announces a pregnancy.
And I felt the same for Tami Roman.
Like many people, I was concerned about the time of the announcement. Any woman, of any age announcing a pregnancy before the conclusion of the first trimester is risky. Miscarriage can happen to anyone. Still, I was rooting for her to have a healthy baby.
Sadly, that didn’t seem to be the case for everyone else.
I saw far too many comments where people proclaimed she was too old to have a child. Obviously, her body was and still might be capable of conceiving a child. And it saddened me that people were so ready to speak misfortune over her pregnancy. I don’t want to get super deep on y’all but words are powerful. And it would have been nice for people to either keep their negative comments to themselves or speak positively about Tami bringing a new life into the world. Furthermore, it is so frustrating to see women participating in the spread of information that makes many of us so anxious and scared in the first place.
Sadly, she did indeed suffer a miscarriage.
Later, she issued this statement about the loss and her subsequent emotions.
As I sat trying to find the reason, the why, the how come…I remained at a loss for words. My emotions were high and my spirit was low. I don't think anyone will understand the sadness that I felt. All I wanted to do was share a positive moment with the man I love. I couldn't stop crying and asking God why…then a stillness came over me, a quiet, a simple peace. What I'm about to say will seem undoubtedly strange, but it made perfect sense to me. I lost my baby on my mother's birthday. My mother has been gone for two years and I feel she has missed being apart of so many wonderful moments in my life and the lives of my daughters. She didn't get to meet the man I love and she would've really liked Reggie. I came to the conclusion that this is a lesson in love and loss. This is another test of my faith and my strength. I got to a place of eerie calm, believing the spirit of my unborn child is with my mom. I don't know, it made me feel better believing that a part of me is keeping her company. I'm not supposed to understand everything. Some things are so beyond my grasp and extremely spiritual. The loss has shown me how much I would love to be a mother again. I always thought this was about Reggie, that I was doing this for him…but NO, this is about me. I know that now. God needed to know I wanted this too and I DO. I've grown so much since having my daughters and I want the opportunity to be a better mother, with less mistakes, less selfishness and more love than ever to give. I know that I am stronger than this situation and I'm not giving up. This is not a condescending or statistical "I told you so" moment, but instead a "You can defy the odds" empowerment moment. I represent women my age who want families, but feel it's not possible or think it's too late. I plan to show you with God's help, that it can be done. I appreciate the prayers from my friends and family who reached out to me personally and from ALL of you! My babies @jazzanderson @lyricchanel for being so supportive and my love @reggieyb1 for being so understanding. Lets get back to life and keep pressing forward. Please continue to keep us uplifted as we are not giving up or in.
And still, after this heartfelt message, some people still took it as an opportunity not to express condolences but to remind the strangers and their friends on social media that they had “called it.” That they were right. Bragging about being right about the loss of a child. Congratulations.
We were all taught we shouldn’t say anything if we don’t have anything nice to say but I don’t know anyone who follows that rule. But in my house, the message of not speaking ill about people’s children, anyone who’s not an adult, specifically when you don’t have any of your own, was drilled into my head. The sentiment/superstition/ is that speaking ill or harm over someone else’s child, born or unborn, could present problems for you when it’s time for you to conceive.
Be careful what you speak.
In Tami’s Instagram post she mentioned that she and Reggie are going to continue trying to have children. Best of luck to the both of them.
In the first episode of her show, “Living Lozada,” Evelyn Lozada announced, much to our surprise, that she was expecting another child.
Sadly, the exuberant feelings didn’t last too long, in the promo clip for the next episode, her doctor told her that her hormone levels were so low, they seemed to suggest that the pregnancy wouldn’t come to term.
Later, in an interview with People, Lozada confirmed that she did indeed have a miscarriage.
“When I went to my first appointment, everything looked great. My progesterone levels were good.
My hormone levels were dropping. My doctor said, ‘Let’s just see what happens and if anything changes.’ ”
“At my next appointment, my ultrasound went from looking really perfect and beautiful to looking pear-shaped,” says Lozada. “You could just tell, it didn’t look normal.”
Sadly, the process wasn’t a smooth one.
“for me the most heartbreaking thing was knowing that it could take up to a day to maybe a week for it to happen,” says Lozada. “I became so obsessed with it. I kept taking pregnancy tests and one would come out positive, then one would come out negative. It was so hard not knowing when I’d lose the baby.”
The miscarriage finally happened during a photo shoot her family had scheduled to help her feel better.
“I had to stop the photo shoot and just lay down. It was hard.”
Though Evelyn had the love and support of her family, she said it was mostly an experience she endured alone.
“You have a million and one questions in your mind as to what happened. You just feel responsible. It’s your body. It’s a loss that only you can relate to.”
Evelyn questioned everything, from the things she ate during her pregnancy to her age.
“It’s nothing that you ate, or did; it’s not your age. One out of all four to five pregnancies end in miscarriage,” she explains. “I have three girlfriends and it’s literally happened to each and every one of them.”
I responded to the news that Evelyn was pregnant with joy. Yet, others thought she was too old to be having more children. As someone who comes from a family where women have babies into their forties, I didn’t see an issue with it. Particularly, at a time in her life when Evelyn is not only in a seemingly more stable relationship but she’s in a better emotional and psychological space. A better adjusted mother is an asset to a child.
Plus, I thorough enjoy women over thirty giving birth to children, defying the notion that we all need to rush to have children before we’re all “dried”and”shriveled.” We all have a different story. And they don’t have to include a husband and baby before 30. There is life after 35. You can even produce it.
And like the news that she was pregnant, people are equally disappointed with Evelyn’s decision to share her miscarriage story, claiming that she was using the tragic event to further promote her show.
That’s a given. All reality stars are profiting off the stories of the lives, good, bad and ugly. While many are tripped up over the method, I think the message is a pretty necessary one.
Like Evelyn said, many women have suffered from miscarriage and many of them needlessly blame themselves for the loss. There’s a certain level of shame many women feel about having lost a child, so they keep the traumatic nature of their experiences to themselves.
My mother who had at least two, possibly three miscarriages, before I, her first child was born, describes that own period in her life as rather dark. She spoke about hearing a ripping sound and realizing she’d lost a child, trying to collect and save one of the embryos and feeling like everyone around her had a baby.
I don’t say that to be morbid, though it is. I say that because it’s such a common occurrence and women need to know that there is hope after this.
And that’s the message Evelyn was trying to spread in sharing her story.
She concluded her story with People saying, “This was just another tragic incident in my life that I had to deal with. But I say God doesn’t make mistakes. Women just need to hold out hope.”
Evelyn is taking her own advice and is still optimistic about the prospect of having a child. “I’m not checking for when I’m ovulating or anything. I’m like look, I’m pushing 40. I’m going to be 50 with a 10-year-old! If it happens again, that will probably be my last.”
Will Evelyn gain further exposure from this story. Of course. You’re reading about her right now. But I’m also sure her words will help someone who believes their suffering through this alone.
“It Happened Because Of Me”: Kobe Bryant Reveals Guilt Over Miscarriage Vanessa Had As He Fought Rape Allegations
Kobe Bryant has had a pretty illustrious career in the NBA. He’s won championships (with the help of Shaq and also while leading the Lakers on his own), won MVP titles (both league and All-Star Game awards), broken scoring records and found a way to drop 81 points in a game before. Seriously, 81 friggin’ points!
But in between all the highs, there was a very low point that Bryant hit from 2003-2004. If you’ll recall, Bryant was accused of raping a hotel employee at a lodge he was staying at before undergoing knee surgery. Bryant would deny her allegations, but the very married baller would admit to having sex with the 19-year-old woman. The allegations and case would be thrown out after the accuser refused to testify during the trial, though Bryant and the woman settled after she filed a civil lawsuit against him. Bryant would get to keep his freedom, and even experienced a massive improvement in his game and stats (he says he took his frustration out on the court), but his reputation took quite the hit at that time, as did his marriage to Vanessa Bryant.
During his very good Showtime documentary, Muse, which aired this past weekend, Bryant spoke about how hard the allegations, and his infidelity, were on his wife. He even shared that Vanessa lost a child around that tumultuous time. He blames this loss on his mistakes and says that he’s grateful Vanessa decided to stick with him when it would have been easier to leave.
“It’s a man’s job to protect your family. It’s a man’s job to look out for your family. It’s a man’s job to always be the anchor of stability for the family. In that aspect, I failed miserably. Things would have been really easy for her to leave, actually. Especially during that time. It would have been much easier to leave. You leave, you take half the money, you have your daughter. Life’s good. She’s good. But she didn’t do that.
We were expecting and uh…um…expecting our second child during that time. There was just so much stress. She actually uh…she actually miscarried. It’s something that I…I have a real hard time dealing with that. I felt like it was my fault, you know what I mean? We should be building our family, but because of my mistake, because of this tough year, we lost a baby. We try to justify the fact that we don’t realize how common miscarriages are and these things happen. It’s part of the process. But the reality is, it happened because of me. That’s the reality of it. That’s something I have to deal with, and I have to carry forever.”
We know that Vanessa did file for divorce from Kobe in 2011, citing irreconcilable differences, and she almost walked away with $75 million and three homes. But she stuck it out, and the couple reconciled in 2013. They have two children together: Natalia and Gianna.
Becoming a mother is a true gift that not every woman is given the opportunity to experience.
Most women dream of the joys of having their first child and embarking on the journey we call motherhood. However, the journey to motherhood is not always so clear cut. Many women struggle with infertility issues, some lose their children in the womb and some even suffer the tragedy of infant mortality just after experiencing to joy of giving life. Each of these tragedies has its own trauma, and the moment when the joy of motherhood might be taken away a woman feels powerless.
Becoming pregnant, staying pregnant and delivering a healthy child are life challenges unique to women. When a woman is faced with fertility issues, a miscarriage or loss after birth, motherhood instantly becomes unattainable. She doesn’t know how to feel, how to react or even how to cope. In an instant she feels alone with her thoughts and feelings. Her first response is What did I do wrong? What is wrong with me? Indeed, so many women suffer from these pangs in silence. Why? Is it because they feel ashamed as if they felt inadequate? Or is it because they feel that no one can truly understand their pain? I believe that it is both of these reasons.
Before I had my son, after I had my daughter, I had a miscarriage. Suddenly feelings of inadequacy, sadness, and pain became my reality. I wasn’t sure how to deal with what had happen nor did I understand why. I wanted to just crawl up and shut out the world. I received flowers, condolences and support from my husband but I still felt that no one really understood what I was going through nor did I want to have to explain it or share my pain with anyone. Suddenly I felt so alone. As time passed, I began to slowly accept what had happened and eventually I was able to move on and continue with a semblance of normalcy. During this whole transition, I never sought guidance or support to help me cope with what had happened. I just assumed it was an experience that no woman really talked about. Looking back, I wish I was more willing to seek support and guidance because in reality, unfortunately, there are many women who share this tragic experience. There are many different resources out there that can aid in giving us the support we need.
Babycenter.com, parenting.com, and meetup.com, for example, all provide great resources for locating local support groups. I also encourage using Facebook for women who have experienced such trauma to start their own support groups. This is a great way to get advice from women from all around the world.
It’s time to break the silence. All aspects of motherhood should be embraced even the disappointments and heartbreaks because it’s what makes us better women and better mothers. We need to draw strength from the heartache and share our stories because it’s that very moment that we can begin to heal, move on and seek to once again chart that glorious journey toward Motherhood. The journey is not always straight and sure. There will always be twists and turns that we are not going to expect, but when we can reach out to one another we can lift each other up and the silence can become a resounding affirmation.
Just last month, we were reporting the joyous news that “Married To Medicine” Mariah Huq’s was pregnant with twins. The family even posted this adorable announcement on Instagram.
Long before the Huqs announced this pregnancy, they told Bravo that they had intentions to expand their family beyond the son and daughter they currently have.
Sadly, Mariah’s husband, Dr. Aydin Huq took to his Facebook page to alert the couple’s supporters and followers of the show that they miscarried.
Here’s what he wrote:
“Thank you for your well wishes on our pregnancy. It is with heavy hearts that we must announce that we miscarried. This is by far one of the hardest things that either of us have had to go through, and we are truly saddened by this double loss. We ask that you keep our entire family lifted in prayer, and Mariah a speedy recovery.”
Any woman who has miscarried can attest to the physical and emotional pain that comes with losing a child. We’re praying for the Huq family during this very devastating time.
I know how terribly selfish this will come off simply because of the fact that based on my gender; society expects me to have this inherent desire to bring babies in the world. I know that as woman I am not expected to make any fuss about raising children because I’m a mom and if you ask some folks (read my children’s father) this is what I was born to do, right?
Hello, I’m Opal and will never be the proverbial pregnant and barefoot woman anyone wants me to be. I’ve decided that after two children and a miscarriage I have absolutely no plans to conceive, ever. I would consider having a hysterectomy but I’m pretty sure doing so would have some effect on my self esteem as a woman—guess I’m a girl after all. I’ve recently suffered through a miscarriage but the possibility of having a third child felt like the real trauma. Throughout the duration of the pregnancy I had mixed feelings about having another baby but I was faithful that the dreadful feeling and difficult days would be worth it after giving birth.
I love my kids and all the good that they bring to my life. My two boys are the only reason there were moments of relief after the loss of my third baby. I strongly believe that all children are blessings but I also believe that women should know their limitations. You can’t mention the Duggar family from the TLC’S reality series 19 Kids and Counting without people questioning their reasons for bearing 19 children. I am sure Michelle Duggar has had her fair share of tumultuous days but that could very well be the number of children she is equipped to handle. My number is much lower than nineteen but I think two children suits my current financial and mental disposition.
I’ve been beyond selfless for my two small children but like Jodi’s mom said so eloquently in the movie Baby Boy, “Mama got to have a life, too.” I am not referring to having a life in only a social context. I am no good to my boys when the overwhelmed, exhausted mommy that is too busy being all things at all times that she isn’t allowed more moments where she is allowed to simply just exist and enjoy her children.
The reality of the miscarriage set in and though I was mostly grief stricken I still felt a strong sense of clarity and relief. I have an obscene amount of respect for women like my mother who have enough children to start a basketball team. If you are a parent, then you know what I mean when I say having children requires superhuman levels of patience. Children need a lot of your attention and if you are really good mom then they are going to need you to occasionally interact with them.
Whether you have one child or five the most important part about being a parent is providing your children with a stable environment to thrive in. I’m not sure how anybody else feels about his or her children but I am determined to give my children a fair shot at a valuable life. I want to be able to provide them with all that they need emotionally, mentally and physically. I’ve had some overwhelming moments here with just my two children. There were times where I was sure that I would never graduate, never lose the baby weight, never start an emergency savings account, never not be so tired that I can’t play with my kids.
I want to be sure that I can give my children all of the good parts of myself. A mommy that has been relentlessly depleted sometimes loses herself so greatly in the day to day that she tends to forget to revel in the blessing of getting to know and love their creation.
I’ve accepted that I am currently not emotionally built to raise more than the two children I have. I’ve taken a vow to actively take steps to prevent future pregnancies and am not interested in anymore “go for the girl” talk. I cannot say that I was happy to lose the baby but I will say that I was inspired to continue making measurable strides towards creating the best future for the two I have. One of those things happens to be preventing another pregnancy. I think big families are beautiful—in a “Facebook picture of someone else’s big beautiful family that I can click “like” and keep scrolling” kind of way.
Opal Stacie is a freelance writer based out of the Miami area. Connect with her on twitter @OpalStacie.
Last night during the airing of “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta,” fans watched as Bambi revealed that she suffered a miscarriage. Some fans questioned if the pregnancy, the miscarriage or both were faked for ratings and relevance on the show, but Bambi says this couldn’t be further from the truth.
“This incident was life changing and it is hard for me to watch this tragedy replay over again!” she exclaimed in a statement released to our sister site, Bossip. “I was in love with the idea of being pregnant and an abortion was the last thing on my mind. I had a miscarriage and now I have to relive it with the world to watch! I would appreciate it if everyone would allow me and Scrappy to deal with the loss of our baby and not make speculations as to what happened. I am healing from this and Scrappy has been by my side during this process.”
The former “Basketball Wives LA” star also shared medical paperwork to prove that she did, in fact, suffer a miscarriage.
To further prove that she was hospitalized, Bambi also released photos of herself in a hospital bed.
Do you think she should have gone so far to prove that her miscarriage was real?
Last month, we reported on the Lindsay Lohan docu-series “Lindsay” which appeared on Oprah Winfrey’s OWN network. Throughout the season, we observed Lohan struggle with sobriety, family issues and cancelling photo-shoots. Although Lohan’s behavior was met with much criticism, last night she garnered much sympathy when she revealed she suffered a miscarriage during the season. When Lindsay was asked to reflect on the what she learned during filming, she said:
“No one knows this — I had a miscarriage for those weeks I took off. I couldn’t move, I was sick. Mentally, that messes with you.”
Lohan also noted the reason why she declined to film on certain days was because of how she felt after the miscarriage. Speaking in third person, the recovering actress claimed:
“Watching this series, I just know how I felt at that moment and I can relate to that girl, which sounds kind of crazy. But I’m like, ‘Oh my god, this is really sad. Who’s helping her?’”
After the season finale, Lohan’s mother Dina apparently tweeted Oprah Winfrey: “Oprah call me.” Her tweet was shortly deleted and most likely in reference to the cancellation of her daughter’s docu-series. The Daily News relayed, Winfrey onsidered canceling the show because of the poor ratings it received. Initially, the season premiere received less than 700,000 viewers.
Lindsay never identified who would have fathered her child but did state she is filming a new film that will be in theaters in June.
Below, is a clip of Lindsay’s revelations.
What did you think of Lindsay’s season finale?
New research may have you thinking twice about buying that plastic water bottle. BPA may increase a woman’s risk of miscarriage if she’s already had issues conceiving, reports the Associated Press.
BPA, or bisphenol-a, is a chemical found many plastics that can have hormone-like effects. Almost everyone has some BPA in their urine, though it’s recently been removed from baby bottles and most reusable drinking containers. Still, the FDA says BPA is safe in other food containers.
Researchers studied 115 pregnant women with a history of miscarriage or infertility. Of those women, 68 had miscarriages and 47 had live births. Their BPA levels were tested and the women with the most BPA in their systems had an 80 percent greater chance of having miscarriages. Most miscarriages are due to egg or chromosome problems and BPA may influence those factors. However, doctors say their study is very small, so they’re unable to say definitely that BPA increases miscarriage risk.
The study’s authors say the most important thing to take away from the study is BPA isn’t safe for women who are trying to conceive. They advise women to “avoid cooking or warming food in plastic because heat helps the chemical leak out..don’t leave water bottles in the sun, limit use of canned foods and avoid handling cash register receipts, which often are coated with resins that contain BPA.”
The self-proclaimed Queen of all Media, Wendy Williams, appeared on BET’s Lift Every Voice last year with popular Christian media personality, Cory “Coco Brother” Condrey. During the interview, Wendy showed a much softer side than the one we’re used to seeing on her daytime television program, the Wendy Show. The 49-year-old Jersey girl opened up about being a family woman, suffering multiple miscarriages and her relationship with God. Peep some of the highlights below.
On suffering multiple miscarriages:
“Well, he actually answers it three times before our son. I’ve had two five month miscarriages, which is one of the most painful things to go through in life. Turns out I had a weak cervix, so I (had) two five month miscarriages–devastating. At five months, every mother has already named the child. With Kevin I got a cerclage. A cerclage was a big stitch to hold my uterus closed and I stayed on bed rest. So I did my radio show from home, to take my mind off of it. I had the contraption monitor in our bedroom. My husband would leave me a cooler full of food. I gained a 103 pounds, I was a nervous wreck but I brought this boy into this world. Pushed him right out, after an epidural. And I didn’t want (to) let go of him. I held so tight that I had cramps in my arms. 11 years later here we are. I wish that I could’ve had another one and did the twins thing. I never had a problem getting pregnant, I had a problem keeping the child. I have one son here and two daughters in the cross roads.”
On keeping part of her family life private:
“I talk it, but you don’t see it and you will probably never get a chance to see that. That’s secret, that’s my time. I give so much of myself on the talk show, and I given so much of myself in the past with my radio show, I’ve been honest about so many things, that other people would wilt and die rather than share.”
“The only thing you know about me as a family woman is what I tell you, but what I tell you is sweet enough.That’s very personal. I’ve shared everything. I’ve shared miscarriages, I’ve shared drug addiction but I do it all methodically and I methodically pick and choose not what to share. That family thing is everything.”
On her husband:
“My husband came into my life 17 years ago, we’ve been married for 14 years. He came into my life as the wind beneath my wings. He is the real deal, he is my manager, my partner, but he does not care about the shine. When this show first started, it was like pulling teeth to get him to participate in a get to know Wendy feature in People Magazine. And it was like pulling my teeth for me to want my son to be involved in that piece.”
On being a mom:
“My son was born into this and he (didn’t) ask for it. He is just as a kid with a mom who happens to have a TV show and that’s how we like to play that. I like to protect him and what he does and I have to watch I say and I what I share on hot topics in regard to my family.”
On her relationship with God:
“I was raised going to Second Baptist Church in Asbury Park. No, I don’t go to church now with my own family but I worked that out with the Lord. He understands that I don’t have to appear in church to be close to him, we have our own relationship. I am Mrs. Hunter. I am Kevin’s mother and I am Kevin’s wife and I will fight to the death for my family. I like being married and I also like having a career and a family. I wouldn’t be happy without my family but guess what I wouldn’t be happy without my career. I couldn’t be a housewife, with all due respect. I’m not that girl tough as nails who can go home at the end of the day and I don’t care how fabulous my job is or how much money I make and I don’t care how fabulous my home would be, I would not be happy without a husband and children. Girlfriends just don’t do it for me that way.”
“I never didn’t believe in god or jesus, so I never had to say I need both in order to make it. I never thought of leaving to not have both. I’m not an atheist.”
Turn the page to watch Wendy’s emotional interview.