All Articles Tagged "mental health"
Life happens when you least expect it and all of a sudden your world is upside down. We often face the big things back-to-back and right when you can’t take another thing, the small things come too. Your contacts rip or you lose your wallet and it all starts to feel like quick sand. You can’t find relief and every move you make only seems to bring you deeper in the pit. Even in the midst of turmoil, you can still keep it together and not fall apart.
- Take a nap & Breathe
We sit up sometimes losing sleep and not eating worried about things we can’t change by worrying about them. Sometimes the solution is to take some deep breaths and take a nap. The problem is going to be there when you wake up but sometimes you have to step back, relax, and face it when you are rested. It’s not avoiding your problems to know when you can’t handle something at the moment. To keep from falling apart you may need to take a step back.
- Decide what you can control and what you cannot, then let it go
You cannot control someone being ill or passing away. You’ll need to deal with that hurt then let it go. You can control over spending on your budget and finding yourself in a financial sticky place. Let it go that you messed up this time and do better the next. Deciding what you can and can’t control is a key to not falling apart. Don’t beat yourself up for where you messed up something within your control. Don’t make yourself sick worrying about something you cannot change. Life is a process of breaking and putting back together. Pick up whatever pieces you can and move forward.
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- Remember you can cry
The strong superwoman/superman myth will have you believing that you can’t cry or feel what’s going on at the moment. That is false. It is okay to cry, to hurt, to be angry, to regret, to be uncomfortable. All of those emotions are okay to have as long as you don’t live there too long. Don’t let the emotions drown you and paralyze you. Give yourself time and then get up and start following suggestion #2. Remember it’s an ebb and flow and some days you’ll feel stronger than others but strength does come and you do eventually get through it. Seek help, friends, prayer and/or counseling on the really hard days.
- You’ve survived before
Remember that time in the past you thought it was so hard and difficult and you’d never get through it? And here you are, living through it. The same thing will happen this time. Every time you feel like falling apart remember that you have survived and thrived before and although this feels like the end of the world, it isn’t.
- Make Moves & Be Still
You can’t fix it all today but that’s no excuse to not do anything. As the saying goes, “do what you can with what you have where you are.” After you’ve given yourself space to cry and feel – get busy taking even the smallest steps to remedy your situation. When there is nothing you can do, be still. Don’t worry yourself frantically trying to do a whole lot without thinking it through. Sometimes the best course of action is to be still.
Hard times build tough people. When you are tempted to fall apart at the thought of all that you are enduring, take a breath, decide what you can control, cry, remember you’ve survived before and move forward. You can get through this no matter how dark it seems or how long it takes. On the other side of this, you’ll step back and realize you are impressed with yourself and how amazing you truly are afterall.
Dee Rene is the author and creator of Laugh.Cry.Cuss. @deerene_ @laughcrycuss
Dr. Sherry Blake is known for setting Traci, Towanda, Trina, Toni, and Tamar straight about all their mess on the “Braxton Family Values,” but the celebrity therapist’s expertise doesn’t stop there. We caught up with the clinical psychologist during the Essence Festival fourth of July weekend and we asked her to apply some of her knowledge to celebrity couples whose marital woes have been in the news on a regular these days. Though Dr. Blake didn’t want to get too far into these couples’ personal business, she did impart some advice that’s useful for any romantic pair to keep in mind if they want to have a healthy relationship.
Check out what Dr. Sherry said in the interview above about maintaining positive unions and mental health issues in the African American community. What do you think?
Depression is so much more than feeling a little blue. But because no one likes to talk about the big “D,” a lot of people don’t even realize that their struggle is more than real.
You Will Feel Judged
Mostly because some people still treat depression like it’s not a real disease. Judging someone with depression is no different than judging someone with diabetes. Don’t let their lack of education shame you into not getting help. Not everyone is misinformed.
Parents across New York City were relieved to learn that the man suspected of stabbing two Brooklyn children had been apprehended by police. And while many are still wondering what would possess a man to want to harm children in such a cruel way, the suspect’s mother, Marie Bauzile, is blaming the criminal justice system for the crimes.
Five years ago, Daniel St. Hubert was arrested for viciously attacking his mother. However, Marie felt that her son needed to be placed in a mental health facility—not prison.
“Jail is not the answer,” 60-year-old Marie told the Daily News. “If people have a mental problem, it’s not jail. It’s not the answer.”
While serving time for trying to strangle his mother, Daniel was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. Despite his diagnosis, his sister, Judith Perry, says he was not given meds or psychiatric referrals when he was released from prison on May 23. Nine days after his release, he murdered 6-year-old Joshua Avitto and critically injured 7-year-old Mikayla Capers.
“They should not blame my brother,” Judith said. “The family should blame the system.”
Marie and Judith went on to tell reporters that Daniel did not receive mental health treatment until he tried to strangle a corrections officer in 2010.
“It took that long,” said a tearful Marie, who revealed that she’s unable to visit her son in prison due to a protective order. “If he’s sick, it’s not his fault.”
“I forgive him for what he did to me because it’s not something he can control,” she continued.
Judith, however, paid the 27-year-old suspect a visit after he was transferred from Riker’s Island to Bellevue Hospital for evaluation.
“I asked him if he did it,” Perry said. “He said, ‘Judith, you don’t even need to ask me. I didn’t do it.’ ”
Daniel’s father also discussed his mental health issues.
“He was a good kid when he was a child,” expressed Albert St. Hubert. “When he came home from jail just a few days ago, I spoke with him, I see he is not okay. The mental is not good.”
The entertainment business can be a flaky one. We witness all of the time how a person can be on top of the world one day and down and out the next. Sadly, producer and singer T-Pain says that it was this kind of valley experience that taught him who his true friends are. During a recent chat with MTV News, the musician, whose birth name is Faheem Najm, revealed that when his career took a bit of a nose dive, he sank into a two-year depression.
“I slept, drank, was depressed for no reason. I don’t know why. It was just weird,” he explained. “[It lasted] for about two years. It was a lot of broken stuff in my house.”
He adds that not only did industry friends stop calling, but they also avoided answering his calls. Though he admits that the experience was a hurtful one, he was thankful to have a good friend like Chris Brown, who stuck with him through the difficult times.
“Chris Brown because did it for him. I stayed friends with him. I did it for everybody, but, you know, Chris the most, because he was going through so much with all the backlash and stuff he was going through. And I still called him, hit him up, visit him in the studio, checked on him, make sure was OK, went by his house, just popped up in places that he was.”
T says Ne-Yo was also a person who remained in his corner.
“Ne-Yo stayed down,” he said. “Ne-Yo was in every strip club I went to, every time I went. Where you at? I’m coming. I don’t care where you at. I’m driving, I’m flying. Anywhere.”
As for everyone else, Pain says their “friendship” was contingent upon whether or not he had a new hit coming out.
“Everybody else just kind of fell off and was just like, ‘Aight, well, make a new song and we’ll call ya.’”
Now that he’s back on the music scene, we’re wondering how those fair-weather friends are treating him.
Watch T-Pain’s interview below.
17-Year-Old Biology Whiz Commits Suicide After Getting Caught Cheating And Feeling Humiliated In Front Of Classmates
A promising student from the Bronx took her life on Friday because she was reportedly caught cheating by a teacher and felt a wave of emotions that were too much for her to deal with.
According to the New York Post, 17-year-old Omotayo Adeoye, reportedly a “biology whiz” at Harlem HS for Math, Science and Engineering, was caught looking at her phone during an exam in her German class on Thursday afternoon. When her teacher caught her, the teacher reportedly made a scene that brought Adeoye to tears. According to a male student in the class, the teacher, Eva Malikova, took Adeoye’s phone. “She snatched it away from her and started screaming at her, ‘Oh, you shouldn’t be cheating! You guys shouldn’t be cheating! You guys are lying to yourselves!’”
The impromptu lecture to the class upset Adeoye to the point that she was visibly shaken, crying, saying “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” to her teacher.
Malikova was quoted as saying, “Oh, you are not really sorry. That’s not a sincere apology!”
Police have since confirmed that this exchange happened, and that afterwards, the teen wrote “I just want to go away forever on the bottom of the river” on her exam. She then asked to go to the bathroom around 2:15, and was allowed to go, but instead, she headed out of the school, which is on 140th street, and walked to the Hudson River at 165th street, where she reportedly jumped in and drowned herself.
Adeoye could not swim, and witnesses at the Hudson at the time said that they saw her take off her ID and jump in the water, forcing herself to stay under. Police were called at 3:35 p.m. to the scene. The high school didn’t call the police about Adeoye missing from her classes until almost 4:30 p.m.
Students at the school reportedly heard Malikova crying and screaming when she heard about the student’s passing on Friday, and she didn’t teach any classes that day. As for the school, the Department of Education issued a statement saying they were investigating this heartbreaking situation, and would also try to do more to address mental health issues with students. There have already been 13 suicides by public school students in the city since the year started.
Don Lemon recently shared a personal detail about his life that very few people know.
Prompted by the killing of seven people in a shooting rampage near the University of Santa Barbara, the CNN host wrote in a blog post Tuesday that he recognized some of the traits police reported seeing in the 22-year-old shooters behavior due to his own past experiences. Lemon revealed that he was recently in a relationship for five years with someone also struggling with mental health issues.
“To this day, no one other than me and a few family members know,” Lemon wrote.
Lemon said that his experience “appears to be the case with Elliot Rodger,” the young killer who took his own life after killing six others. He described the difficulty of intervening in someone’s life who shows no signs of violence on the outside, despite what they might be feeling on the inside.
“The deputy told CNN that Rodger was articulate, polite, even timid during their visit,” he wrote. “And from my personal experience that is usually the case with those who hide their mental health issues from friends and coworkers.”
Read more about Don Lemon’s mental health at BlackVoices.com
People suffer from depression for all sorts of reasons. From a horrible break up to just a rough patch in life, depression can hit at any time, and for some it’s a never-ending condition they have to cope with every day. If you are dealing with depression, don’t think that dating is out of the question — or that you should hide it from your partner. Here are 14 tips for dating with depression.
Ever find yourself going HAM in inappropriate places and regretting it later? Try to take the high road with one of these calming techniques.
First things first, take a deep breath.
During his recent appearance on “The Arsenio Hall Show,” rapper Kid CuDi revealed that his true passion is assisting the youth in combatting loneliness and overcoming suicidal thoughts.
“Really, my mission statement since day one, all I wanted to do was help kids not feel alone and stop kids from committing suicide,” the 30-year-old rapper expressed.
It turns out that preventing suicide is a mission close to CuDi’s heart because he has actually battled against suicidal thoughts in his own life.
“I dealt with suicide for the past five years. There wasn’t a week or day that didn’t go by where I was just like, ‘You know? I wanna check out.’ And I know what that feels like.”
He adds that in many cases, those thoughts stem from feelings of loneliness and lack of self-worth.
“I know it comes from loneliness. I know it comes from not having self-worth, not loving yourself. These are things that kids don’t have music that can coach them and give them that guidance. I didn’t have that. I had to listen to Jay Z and take certain things from it and the other sh-t I just didn’t know what he was talking about.”
Thankfully, he has decided to use his negative experiences as inspiration to stand in the gap for other young people who may be going through similar experiences.
“But what about the kids…you never had an artist where you connected with them all across the board, you know? And I think that’s my job. I’m just really just trying to guide people and help people because loneliness is a terrible, terrible thing, man and if you don’t know how to conquer it, it can eat you alive.”
As for how he’s doing currently with these detrimental thoughts, CuDi says he has a better grasp on things now.
“I’m good. I’m alright,” he revealed.
His decision to come forward and discuss such a personal issue is certainly admirable. Hopefully his story can help someone else.
Watch his interview on the next page.