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From YourTango

Our culture promotes sex everywhere from magazine covers to product advertisements. When sex sells, it sets us up to objectify ourselves and others. When we objectify someone, we really don’t see the other person. We lose out on the most intimate loving parts of a relationship and we look to magazines, books and blogs to help us get the relationship we’ve always wanted. What we fail to realize is that the best person to consult about our beauty is ourselves.

When a person owns her innermost self — and is happy with who she is — she projects a beauty radiating with confidence. People naturally are drawn to those who make them feel good. Healthy sexuality and intimacy is about having the courage to love and be loved in return. Here are some ways in which people benefit from sex:

Having a healthy attitude about your sexuality promotes beauty from within. Experts say, “a sexually healthy person is someone who feels comfortable with his or her sexuality.” This means, a person doesn’t view s*x as something naughty, bad, improper or sinful and can engage in it without feeling guilty or anxious. When you’re comfortable with who you are on the inside, your attractiveness is infectious on the outside. Others want to be around you and have what you have.

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President Obama speaking at a White House performance last night focused on Memphis Soul Music. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

The big political news today is President Obama’s latest budget proposal, a $3.77 billion plan that would be put into effect for fiscal year 2014, which starts October 1. Given the continuous battle back and forth between the Democrats and Republicans in Congress, The Wall Street Journal sums up the goal of the proposal as such: “Obama Reaches For Middle Ground With New Budget Plan.”

“The White House will seek to persuade Republicans to warm to its proposal to embrace more short-term spending, which administration officials say will boost jobs, while also locking in medium-term tax and spending changes to reduce the deficit,” the article says. “So far, the White House has found such an approach a tough sell, with Republicans opposing tax increases and saying much of the spending is wasteful.” Overall, the article says, the spending budget is up six percent to counteract the sequestration spending cuts (remember those?) that went into effect March 1.

At the start of the fiscal year, The New York Times explains, “the federal deficit would be $744 billion, according to administration officials. That would be equal to about 4.4 percent of the gross domestic product, down from a high of about 10 percent at the height of the recession. By decade’s end, the annual deficit would be 1.7 percent, officials said, though deficits would increase thereafter as aging baby boomers drive up costs for federal benefit programs.” The 10-year plan would cut spending by $1.2 billion and would raise $580 million by pulling more taxes from the wealthy, including the imposition of the Buffet Rule, which would  take 30 percent from anyone making a taxable income over $1 million.

The spending and taxes included in the proposal aren’t to the Republicans’ liking, who still want to see the federal budget decrease. What has riled Democrats are the proposed cuts to future Social Security benefits.

But there will be additional spending. Infrastructure is a priority in the budget, as is expanding prekindergarten education. And in response to calls from people across the political spectrum following the massacre in Newtown, CT, $235 million has been allotted for mental health programs. The money would pay to train teachers and other professionals to better detect the warning signs of mental illness in students, to provide in-school professional mental health services, and to help schools that have a high level of violence, according to The Washington Post. The paper says that mental health advocates are pleased with the attention, but note the billions of dollars in cuts that have been made across states over the past few years.

President Obama will be having dinner with prominent Congressional Republicans this evening in the hopes of talking through a compromise. Meanwhile, Congress could vote this week on gun control measures. The two sides seem to be ready to compromise on issues like universal background checks, says CNN.

Hi Damon, 

Me and my husband have been going through a really rough time. Four months ago he lost his job and since then things between us have steadily been on the decline. I’m stressed because I have to pay our bills, clean the house and take care of our children while he basically sits at home all day. I don’t want to nag him and question him everyday about whether or not he’s taking the proper steps to find employment; but judging by the way the house looks when I come home in the evening, I’m pretty sure he’s lounging in front of the tv all day. 

 

The other morning things came to a head as I was trying to get the kids ready for school. He was still in bed and I asked him if he could help me out a little bit. He wouldn’t get up so I had to ask him at least three times. I guess he got frustrated because he called me out of my name. I know this wasn’t right but I completely lost it. I started screaming and throwing things at him. Once I’d calmed down, I asked him not to be home when I got back.

 

Despite this rough patch, I still want to work on my marriage and I think it would be best to understand where his head is at right now. I don’t know if you’ve ever been in this position but can you, as a man, explain to me where a man’s head might be at when he’s unemployed. And then secondly, do you think I was wrong for putting him out of the house– at least temporarily? Where should we go from here?

 

Thanks in advance, 

 

Distressed and Desperate

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Source: TLC

Towards the end of last month, many were shocked to learn that Lamar Odom’s 14-year-old  daughter Destiny, whom he shares with Starter Wives Confidential star, Liza Morales is battling some serious issues regarding her mental and emotional health. The bomb was dropped when the teen took to her Twitter page to express her low emotional state.

“I feel as If I am drowning in my own emotions, and I have no home to save me,” she tweeted.

What came after that tweet is what grabbed the attention and concern of many. While we’re not exactly sure what prompted this, a follower asked her how frequently she cuts herself and when was the last time she did it.

 “Tonight and I don’t count,” Destiny replied.

Since then, a slew of stories have been circulating around the rumor mill regarding Destiny, her step-mother Khloe’s desperate attempts to pull her out of the fragile state that she has found herself in and Lamar being an absentee dad for the earlier years of her life. According to Star Magazine, it has also been rumored that Destiny’s sorrowful state has been a result of the limited amount of time she’s been able to spend with her mother Liza over the past few months due to the filming of Starter Wives Confidential.

Liza recently spoke to Radar Online regarding these rumors and expressed that although Destiny may be experiencing depression, both she and Lamar are doing everything that they can to tend to their daughter’s needs.

“My children have always and will always be my top priority in life.”

“This matter has been addressed with our daughter. We have a professional on board to evaluate the situation; Destiny is not hurting herself but we are not taking this lightly,”

“With the added pressures of Hollywood and the instant attention of social media, it’s not always easy for a teenager to express their emotions in the best way. This is a private family matter, and we would appreciate respect and privacy during this time.”

It’s good to see that Liza and Lamar have not taken their daughter’s cry for help lightly and are seeking professional help.

Jazmine Denise is a news writer for Madame Noire. Follow her on Twitter @jazminedenise.

If you caught Sunday night’s episode of “Real Housewives of Atlanta”, you know that the gloves really came of in the ongoing dispute between Phaedra and Kenya. When the former Miss USA learned that Phaedra was referring to her as a bipolar alcoholic, you could almost instantly tell that a nerve had been hit. In a recent blog post on Bravo.com, Kenya opens up about the role mental illness played in her life and why Phaedra’s statements bothered her so much. Here is some of what she had to say.

On dealing with mental illness in her personal life:

“ Mental health has always been a passion of mine when I sought answers from my mother’s behavior toward me growing up.”

“My mother literally tried to destroy me. But I’m still here and I’m thriving. And I’m not easily broken. Being emotional at times, reactionary, or angered does not make you are chemically imbalanced. It makes you human.”

On why Phaedra’s comments were insensitive and mean-spirited:

“There are people who greatly suffer from mental illness and this is no laughing matter and certainly not one to be made a mockery of with terms like “bipolar” thrown around simply to humiliate or smear an individual for revenge.Being bipolar is a lifelong disorder marked by great suffering from extensive depressive states that often are accompanied by suicidal thoughts most often successively followed by manic states presenting over two weeks or more. These symptoms are crippling and render the patient often unproductive or functional in daily life. I am none of the above. People have real and actual mental health issues, and I have seen the possibility of this from my own mother. I feel Phaedra’s atrocious mischaracterizations were especially cruel considering she was the only woman on the show I confided in regarding my lifelong struggles with my family regarding this. “

While I’m no fan of Kenya, she makes a valid point. Bipolar disorder is in fact a serious illness and people who actually suffer from this disorder should be considered when the word is frivolously thrown around as an insult.

What do you think? Does Kenya have a point?

Jazmine Denise is a news writer for Madame Noire. Follow her on Twitter @jazminedenise

Photo courtesy of WENN

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When times seem really hard, we can sometimes feel alone and isolated; like no one else knows how we feel.  However, not only is there someone else who is dealing with exactly what you are, there are people who can help you with your problems as well.

In a time where it seems that there’s a greater importance placed on physical health than mental, sometimes we can overlook the tell-tale signs of when to seek guidance from a professional. I’m not a licensed professional, however I can say, rather than suffering in silence, these may be a few times when a professional mental health expert may be of use.

Source: WENN

Mental health and depression can be such taboo topics in the Black community as well as in our society in general. No one wants to be labeled as “unstable” or “crazy”, which is why so many suffer in silence. Anytime a person can speak out about their personal struggles with these issues, it illustrates great strength. The latest heroine in the fight against depression has been singer, actress and one-third of Destiny’s Child, Michelle Williams. The 32-year-old shocked many when she opened up to Mark Kennedy of The AP and revealed that she has struggled on and off with depression since she was fifteen or sixteen years old.

“I’ve dealt with depression. I had to choose to get out of bed and do whatever I needed to do to be happy.”

She shared that she was able to avoid needing medication, but advises anyone who is struggling with this issue to seek professional help:

“We’re taught, ‘Just go to church and pray about it. The Lord is going to heal you.’ Well, in the meantime, I believe God-gifted people, physicians, doctors, therapists — that’s your healing. Take advantage of it. Go see a professional so that they can assess you. It’s OK if you’re going through something. Depression is not OK, but it is OK to go get help.”

It seems that the singer isn’t allowing anything to slow her down, though. She is currently gearing up to release another solo album as well as to assume a starring role in Broadway musical “Fela!”, not to mention the highly anticipated, upcoming Superbowl performance with Destiny’s Child.

It’s great that Michelle has found the strength to speak openly about her battle with depression. Hopefully her transparency can serve as an inspiration to others. You just never know what a person is going through.

What do you think of Michelle openly discussing her experiences with depression?

Jazmine Denise is a news writer for Madame Noire. Follow her on Twitter @jazminedenise

You ever have a moment where your “you so crazy friend” seems really crazy? Some celebrities’ wile-out moments have me worried about their mental health. Sometimes the spotlight sheds some light on your mental deficiencies. Are these celebrities really crazy or just acting a fool for ratings?

Source: Twitter

The Hip Hop world was shaken when news broke that 22-year-old rapper Frederick Eugene Buhl aka Freddy E died as a result of a self-inflicted gunshot wound on Saturday. While facts concerning what led to the rapper’s decision to take his life are unknown, many Twitter users suggest that his fragile emotional state was partially linked to issues surrounding his ex-girlfriend, fellow rapper, Honey C*caine. Just before taking his life, Freddy released several chilling tweets that forewarned his suicide.

“Smoked my first pack of cigarettes today… been a long time since I’ve gone through heart break. It’s a cold unforgiving world if I do say.”

“It’s all bad y’all…”

“If there’s a God then He’s calling me back home. This barrel never felt so good next to my dome. It’s cold & I’d rather die than live alone.”

“It’s… all… bad… y’all. *puts finger around trigger*”

“I love you Mom.”

“I love you Dad.”

“I love you Katherine.”

“God… please forgive me.”

The tweets are said to have come shortly after his ex-girlfriend shared via her Twitter page that she was single; however she has since come forth using her Twitter account to deny having anything to do with his death.

“To say I caused what happened is ignorance.. You know nothing about our friendship or the story, hate me if you feel.. We loved eachother..”

“Say it’s my fault, threaten me, whatever.. I knew him well enough to know he had other things happening.. I was there for him all the time.”

Both Honey and Freddy are affiliated with YMCMB rapper Tyga. While speculations can never truly confirm whether or not Freddy E’s failed relationship was the direct cause of his suicide, I believe we all can agree that it is unfortunate that whatever this young man was going through, he felt it to be overwhelming enough to take his own life.

Freddy was extremely popular for his spoken-word pieces and comedic skits, which he frequently shared on his YouTube channel, JERKTV. He is remembered by his family as being “a talented, sensitive, and brilliant young man”.

Our prayers and condolences go out to the Buhl family.

Jazmine Denise is a news writer for Madame Noire. Follow her on Twitter @jazminedenise

Even though celebrities live the life that we all wish for, we all know that there isn’t enough money or fame in the world that can buy happiness. As surprising as it may seem, there are several celebrities who have battled depression but thankfully many of them have been able to see the brighter side of things. Here are 15 celebs who battled depression in spite of their ranking in society but  have still been able to climb to the top.

Nikki Nelson/WENN

Ashley Judd

Ashley Judd suffered from depression back when she was in 6th grade. She admitted to considering suicide and went to a rehab clinic to help remedy her depression. She says her humanitarian efforts have helped her regain perspective in life.