Do you know the guy who has “made it” and has expressed concerns about women only wanting him for his money? And have you witnessed that very same guy with those significant concerns roll up to the front of the club in his Bentley or make a scene about getting into VIP and ordering bottle service or wearing flashy Rolex watch and other ostentatious jewelry? Indeed, it’s a paradox that never ceases to amaze me.

A guy I dated in the past, who was wealthy by his own standards (read: doing better than folks he grew up with in Queens), expressed this similar sentiment of being scared of golddiggers. My first thought was, how would you fear a woman being attracted only to your money? I feel that everyone has the ability to comprehend whether someone is attracted to them for the right reasons or the wrong reasons. It doesn’t take a high level of complex emotional capabilities to gauge if someone is with you for your looks, money, or stability as opposed to you as a whole. So why all these fears from some men with money?

Many of these men who exhibit these “fears” also tend to make it clear that they do have money, thereby attracting those women who they are supposedly trying to avoid. It’s obviously an insecurity thing. If you are popping bottles in the VIP section of a hot club with your Rolex on, you want folks to give you respect based on your financial status. The exhibition serves to play up what they see as their best asset and what sets them apart in the marketplace. In my opinion, a man who both fears a woman using him for his money and makes a point of conveying his wealth, is a man who lacks confidence in his character. Why else would he focus on the materialistic, if not to overshadow what he sees as the shortcomings of his whole self?

Of course there are other types of men with money; those who don’t care to make a show about it and those who absolutely have no fears of attracting gold diggers since they’re looking for trophy wives (that’s an even, superficial exchange in my book). It’s not fair for men, like the one I dated and later befriended, to talk about fears of being used when they’re placing themselves in a position to being used.  I told him if he really has that unfounded fear, he should make a point of not relying heavily on showing off so that he can attract a woman for who he really is. But of course, he wasn’t hearing that and just wrote it off as me not understanding his unique plight. I’m certain that he’ll end up in the exact relationship that he “feared,” because he’s too ashamed to really admit that he’s really that guy who wants to live the life of a rap celebrity, complete with the facade of a music video life and music video wife.

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The youngest Braxton sister, Tamar, stirs up the most drama on WE TV’s hit show “Braxton Family Values.” But her over the top ways just make her that more entertaining to watch. Now that the show has been so successful when the name Braxton comes up, you’re more likely to think Tamar than Toni. See how Tamar’s life has changed since the show and what she thinks about the rumors circulating around her relationship with her husband in an interview she did with Black Enterprise.

BlackEnterprise.com: So how has reality TV stardom benefited your career?

Braxton: It’s definitely different now. People are curious about how I sound and want to do a record to find out if my big personality is the [real deal] (laughs). But I’m pretty much the same person. I think that’s a great combination. I’m even more excited being myself. I am not a character that I made up. Who I am is who I am.

BlackEnterprise.com: Do you think that the attention you’ve received has caused some sibling rivalry?

Braxton: At first I did, and it was very difficult for me because I would get accused of acting like a prima donna. But I’m like, if y’all think about it, I’ve been making the same faces since I was about 2 [years old]. I think the problem is when you see it on TV it’s magnified. I believe it was difficult for my sisters to watch it and they became defensive. But again, I’ve always been candid and honest. I believe everybody is back to normal and it was more of the surprise the first season.

BlackEnterprise.com: What is the craziest rumor you’ve heard about yourself?

Braxton: God, there are several, but the one that really bothers me is that I [married] my husband for money. What? Where did that come from? Are you saying that because he’s thick? How do you know I don’t like teddy bears? I mean, really? Have a seat. Do people realize that [those comments] are very disrespectful to my relationship and friendship with my husband? I find no humor in that. To have people [speculating] about why you like what you like. Don’t they think that could affect how he feels about himself or me? If we didn’t have that openness and friendship it could. I’m sure those comments hurt his feelings. Sometimes people wanna say, “With all that mouth Tamar has…” and I say to [all of them], have several seats because I’m gonna always stand up for myself, my husband and our relationship.

BlackEnterprise.com: Unlike other celebs who go under the knife it’s refreshing that you’ve always been candid about your belief in plastic surgery. In the blogosphere, there’s been much debate about whether you bleach your skin. Do you?

Braxton: Yes, I believe in plastic surgery because I believe you’re supposed to enhance what you are not happy with. And if I bleached my skin then I wouldn’t have stretch marks, right? So boom! (Laughs).

BlackEnterprise.com: (Laughs) Indeed. Well, what do you hope your legacy will be?

Braxton: Great question. Hmmm….that I love hard, I believe hard and I’m a good person…who can sing her a** off (Laughs).

Read the rest of Tamar’s interview at BlackEnterprise.com.

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Sex is a bigger deal than we all like to admit. Often our day to day handling of the big “S” doesn’t quite match up with society’s prim ideals and values. Whether you think it’s the way things should be or not, the horizontal mambo, or at least the glorification of it, is a thriving part of every institution known to man.

But is there something wrong when a woman takes this basic, widely known aspect of humanity and uses it to her advantage? If a woman is in charge of her sexuality, it seems she has a God given right to use it at her disposal.

“Play your strengths,” is generally accepted as a great strategy to get ahead in life. Why shouldn’t that apply to sex? Isn’t a woman using her “body capital” to get a head (get it?) the epitome of female empowerment?

On one hand, our hyper sexualized culture leads to episodes like the 14-year old caught Getting Her Jaws Worked on camera and thinking it’s all good. On the flip side, a well positioned display of sex at the right time, with the right guy, has launched some women’s dreams, inspiring every other woman to follow her own.

I’m sure you have an answer. In fact, it’s very likely your thoughts on the matter have limited you from using your own vagina power in your quest for success. But this list of modern day temptresses are thinking different than most. And they don’t give a dam what anyone else thinks.

Model Jessica White famously stated that she was holding on to her “goodies” until someone put a ring on it earlier this year. It must have worked because she recently revealed her first engagement at a party honoring Beyonce by flashing her promissory bauble. The man she finally gave it up for (this one last time) was a mystery, but Hello Beautiful reports that his identity has been finally unveiled! Jessica White is set to marry “British-born Wall Street banker Bruce DeWitt,” according to TheYBF.com. Still no picture, but nevertheless, well done, Jessica! White is not the first black woman to forgo flashy figures well-known in the public eye, instead opting for the quiet laid back man with tons of cash. Here are more African-American celebrity females who have chosen subtle men with big bankrolls, instead of eye-catching ballers (who might actually be broke).

By God-is Rivera

So often we hear about women who come out of pure oblivion and marry a mega-rich superstar or businessman and subsequently receive a golden ticket right to the high life. Some stay happily married, others end in nasty divorce spats, but either way women who have been known to marry well have watched their social status skyrocket right along with their bank accounts. However, it’s not always women that have been making tactical decisions when choosing a mate, men are also known to partner with women of power, wealth and status and those relationships have greatly affected these men’s social and financial position. Here are some of the men who gambled in the game of love with some of the entertainment industry’s most powerful women, and hit it big.

Kris Humphries & Kim Kardashian

This newlywed couple has barely returned from their honeymoon but it’s easy to see who was the winner in this attractive pair. Humphries married into one of the most lucrative families in reality TV history with his recent nuptials to industry socialite and reality TV star Kim Kardashian. Although Kris Humphries is no ordinary fellow, his salary as a power forward for the New Jersey Nets is a very respectable $3.2 million a year, and he is worth a reported $8 million, partially buffered by his collection of properties and investments in his father’s Five Guys Hamburgers and Fries burger joints in Minnesota. Kardashian is worth a reported amount of $35 million, and even flexed her franchising muscles with her own wedding from which she netted $17.9 million from selling networks and magazines exclusive wedding access and photos. Humphries will be a free agent very soon with the right to negotiate a new contract, and he will have to do some heavy negotiating to keep up with his new wife’s financial powerhouse status. If things go sour, let’s hope for his sake he didn’t sign the prenuptial agreement that was rumored to be put in place, but if he did at least he’ll always be able to grab a burger for free!

On Sunday, at the People of Freedom party meeting in Rome, Italy’s prime minister advised pretty young women to find a rich man to marry. Silvio Berlusconi, known as the dirty old uncle of the world, said it’s a little harder to make happen, but men should aspire to be gold diggers too. Imagine Obama trying to fix the world and our doling out wacky advice for our relationships too?!

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