All Articles Tagged "marriage"

Is This Petty? Turns Out He’s Married — To A Woman Who Needs A Green Card

July 22nd, 2016 - By Victoria Uwumarogie
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Last week, I received a message from a woman who isn’t so sure how to feel when it comes to some information she learned about a guy she’s been seeing. They’ve been getting to know each other for the last few weeks and she likes him, but she doesn’t like his situation. The information? He’s married, but tied the knot with the woman to help her get a green card.

Depending on the circumstances, one might think that doing such a major thing for another person is a noble thing. But in this case, not so much. The guy is helping the woman out big time, but agreed to do so for a few thousand dollars. The woman who sent the message is aware that the marriage is obviously not a serious one. Still, she can’t help but wonder if they’ve exchanged more than money.

Her question was whether or not she should continue getting to know him. Even if it’s not real, he’s married to another woman and that situation could get messy very fast. In fact, it takes years for these types of things to get figured out, and as she asked in her message, what happens if down the line they were to fall in love and want to get married? And what if he gets caught in this lie and ends up having to pay the legal ramifications for it?

She appreciates that he was honest about his situation (not so upfront about it though — he waited two weeks to say something). That doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s here for it, though.

I’m not mad at her. Again, it depends on the situation (if he were helping out a friend in need or something like that, maybe it wouldn’t look so bad), but pursuing a relationship with someone who who is technically committing a crime isn’t really much different than happily dating someone when you’re aware that they’re out here doing white-collar crimes or committing other forms of fraud. Their lifestyle could put them in a pretty bad situation and down the line, get you into some trouble as well. And when I say “pretty bad situation,” I mean a hefty fine or jail time. According to Criminal Defense Lawyer:

Any individual who knowingly enters into a marriage for the purpose of evading any provision of the immigration laws shall be imprisoned for not more than five years, or fined not more than $250,000, or both.

Punishment can also be meted out under Title 18 of the U.S. Code, at Section 1546. This section prohibits, among other things, making false statements under oath. Sentencing under this section starts at ten years for a first or second offense.

Yikes! Not to mention the obvious fact that this woman will be a third party in whatever relationship is formed. They will need to prove that they live together and there will always be someone checking in on their behavior. That could mean that efforts to maintain the facade of a real marriage could be taken more seriously than efforts to maintain his actual relationship with her. In that way, his “wife” will always come first. It’s too much.

However, it’s ultimately up to her. If she likes him a lot and he seems to be into her, which she claims, then she’s going to do what she wants. But three’s company, and entering into a relationship with a man who is married, and committing marriage fraud mind you, sounds like a disaster waiting to happen…

But as always, that’s just my opinion. What say you? Should she run for the hills or give him a shot? 

Why Do Cashiers Keep Looking At Me Crazy When I Pay The Bill On Dates?

July 20th, 2016 - By Veronica Wells
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I’ve written about this briefly before but I feel it bears repeating, mostly because this theme, this question keeps showing up in my life. And it irks the hell out of me. Last year, when I asked a serious question about handing your man money so it appears that he is the one paying, I also told a story of the time my boyfriend and I went into the bodega to buy snacks. For those of you who missed it, my boyfriend was making a decision about the type of chips he wanted. And was taking a long time. I was getting a little annoyed about it. And since the cashier knew that I was going to be the one getting the bill (If you want to call the cost of chips and juice, a bill.) for the items, he said that since I was the one paying, he should get what I suggested.

Another time, in that same bodega, I can’t remember if it was before or after this incident, but another cashier, when I pulled out my card, made some comment about my paying. I told him, “It’s just snacks. He pays for me all the time. It’s okay.”

He then went into a speech about how he gets down in his relationship.

“I never let my woman pay for anything. Nothing. I pay for everything.”

I just raised my eyebrows.

Then, this past weekend. My boyfriend and I went to breakfast. He paid. Several hours later, he suggested we get some escovitch fish from this small Jamaican buffet in Brooklyn. After the server boxed the food, another man rang us up. My boyfriend handed him his debit card. Before he could run it, I remembered that he had paid for breakfast. I told the cashier, “Oh, use this card,” handing him mine instead.

You might assume that this was the end of the conversation. But it was not. The cashier looked genuinely confused, still holding my boyfriend’s card in his hand.

“But I have a card right here already.”

“I know but I want you to use this one.”

My boyfriend extended his hand then, saying “I’m not going to argue with her.”

He held the card a second longer before he took mine.

Given those three different experiences in less than a calendar year, needless to say I was and still am irritated by all of this.

As I said back in November, one of my life’s pet peeves is people trying to count or speak on what I should do with MY money. But even deeper than that I just wasn’t raised to let a man pay for everything. There have been examples in my own family where the man, the breadwinner, the footer of every bill utilized that position to exercise near tyrannical control in the relationship. And I don’t even believe a person needs to be morally bereft or stuck in the 1950’s to behave like this. Most of it is just human nature. If you’re paying, the other person’s opinion about the way things are done ultimately doesn’t hold that much weight. If you want to splurge or save, it’s your money and therefore your choice. Because at the end of the day, when it’s time to put up or shut up, the other person doesn’t have anything to contribute.

I was also taught that in the beginning of a dating relationship, you should at least offer to pay (for your half) of a meal or outing because you don’t want the man to expect something you’re not willing to give (I’m talking sex.), simply because he dropped some money on you. People only spend money when they expect to get something in return. And if your company and conversation aren’t worth the cost of the date, in his opinion, you don’t want him hounding you afterward.

But more than that, it’s just about fairness.

I like, love and care about my man. I want us to be able to see one another as often as possible. And I don’t want that not to be an option because he’s paid for every breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, gas, parking, rental car, ticket and all other activities since we’ve known each other. It’s not fair. I work and I want women to be treated with equality in this society.

Furthermore, it’s not a problem for us, in our relationship. And while I won’t tell anyone else how to behave or handle their money in their situations, I wish people, specifically these men who don’t know me, would fall back and mind their business.

Serious Question: Who Really Deserves Alimony, And For How Long?

July 11th, 2016 - By Victoria Uwumarogie
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In case you hadn’t heard, Dwyane Wade announced earlier this month that he would leave the Miami Heat to join the Chicago Bulls as part of a two-year deal worth a whopping $47.5 million. And while we’re sure he’s excited about the opportunity to return to his hometown to play, no one is probably more thrilled about this news than his ex-wife, Siovaughn Funches. Let Chicago’s WGN break down this possible come-up for both parties:

Wade’s ex-wife reportedly said she wants to re-open her divorce settlement with her fellow Robbins, Ill., native.

According to the Chicago Tribune, Siohvaughn Funches asked a judge to throw out her settlement agreement with Wade, and give her a larger portion of his basketball earnings, including part of his new contract.

Funches is suing her former divorce lawyer, Brian Hurst, for malpractice, alleging he agreed to the deal with Wade without her knowledge, the Tribune reports.

Hurst denied the claims to the Tribune on Thursday. On Friday Judge Martin Agran threw out her lawsuit. But he did offer her the chance to file an amended lawsuit, and Funches’s new lawyer, Thomas Gooch, says she “absolutely” intends to do so.

The former couple, who were high school sweethearts, married in 2002 and divorced officially in 2010 after years of ugly fighting in court. Wade initially filed for divorce in 2007. They have two children together and she was with him when he won his first championship title with the Heat in 2006. It made sense that when he decided to move on, she would want something to help her adjust to the major change in financial status, and so, in 2013, she was awarded $5 million in their initial divorce settlement. And yet, now that he’s received one of his largest contracts, she wants more. Knowing what she’s said that she’s gone through and their history, does she deserve it?

When I read about her hope to reopen the contentious divorce settlement process, I could only think about a conversation I had with a lawyer I met at a friend’s brunch this past weekend. He was anti-marriage, and when I asked why, aside from not feeling the concept of monogamy, he also wasn’t happy about how ugly he has seen things play out in divorce proceedings. His specific issue?

“Why should a woman get access to what I’ve worked hard for when it’s over?”

He would go on a long spiel with questions like, “What if she cheated?” “What if  I marry someone else? How does it look I’m still paying another woman’s way?” and “If she files and wants to leave me, why should she still have access to my money?” I would go on to try and explain to him that I do think some women are owed financial support. For instance, a woman like my mother. Granted, my parents are still together, but if she were to leave, she would be someone who deserved alimony for her many years of sacrifice. You see, she worked hard in the early days of my parents’ marriage, doing so while my dad tried to get the education necessary to be in his desired field. She would provide him with loans, as well as the family as a whole with the benefits and the money necessary until he started moving up the ranks. After having their third child together, she would stop working after struggling to balance a 9-to-5 job in the city of Chicago before running home to play, feed, answer homework questions for and put to sleep her kids. She had one more child with my father (me) after the fact, and hasn’t worked a full-time job since. That was nearly 30 years ago. He went on to be very successful and we, with my mother’s early contributions, finally were able to live comfortably.

As I told the lawyer, and as I truly believe, women, natural nurturers, are always helping the men in their lives. This is often true even if they’re not in the office with these men making business deals, coming up with the ideas that make millions, or as Drake tried to say when Vanessa Bryant was tempted to walk away from her marriage to Kobe with multiple homes and millions, “with me shooting in the gym.” But they are there holding things down, providing meals, comfort, stroking egos, raising children and offering everyone a secure home and home life to return to at the end of the day. As Vanessa perfectly put it in response to the rapper, “I don’t need to be in the gym. I’m raising our daughters, signing checks and taking care of everything else that pertains to our home life.”

Say that.

And we all know that women aren’t alone in receiving alimony. According to Reuters, with many women becoming the breadwinners in their homes these days, more and more women are paying alimony, too. The contributions of the person at home aren’t lessened because they don’t result in the financial success.

But just how long does a person need to fund the dreams and lifestyle of someone else? How much money will it take for Funches to feel rightfully compensated for her support during their relationship, which ended nearly a decade ago? When are you owed for the success you helped to bring about, and when are you just looking to live off of someone else instead of getting back to work like the rest of us do every day?

It’s quite the complicated conversation. But based on the fact that it keeps coming up, one can’t help but wonder.

Friendly vs. Flirting: When Should You Tell Someone Of The Opposite Sex You’re Not Single?

June 27th, 2016 - By Victoria Uwumarogie
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One of the most interesting things I’ve found about being on the road to the altar is how awkward it is to figure out if and when I should share that information with folks I meet of the opposite sex. While people like Kevin Gates like to say that women shouldn’t even touch him because he’s married, and there are even debates on whether or not it’s appropriate for married men and women to receive phone calls from people of the opposite sex, I never wanted to be one of those people who acted as though I couldn’t interact with men in everyday life because I’m engaged to be married to one.

Plus, there’s something…let’s just say interesting…about assuming that every man you meet wants you like that. That’s almost like thinking that because someone is friendly to you, they automatically are planning to get in your drawls. Plus, not every person needs to know your business like that anyway.

But after running into two situations this past weekend where I worried that I was confusing a man’s general chivalrous behavior with flirtation and one where I clearly wasn’t confused, I thought it would be good to ask, when and how should you tell someone of the opposite sex you’re not interested and not available? What’s the signal that lets you know they want more than what you can offer when you initially thought they were a nice person to get to know?

For instance, while out of town for a friend’s wedding and rolling with single friends, I met a guy who was quite hilarious. He is also from New York, also Nigerian, and is also a fantastic dancer, so we got along well, as he also did with my two friends. Near the end of the night, he sort of flocked to me and one of the other girls (the other went home early), even offering us a ride home. Nice, right?

Well, for some reason, I thought it best to distance myself all of a sudden. I started saying less, and while I took that ride (Uber prices were a trip…), I sat in the back despite my friend offering to. (Side note: she often offers to sit in the back of cars because I’m tall. Sweet girl.) In my mind, I thought, let me let two single people mingle and stay my black a– out of trouble. But during the ride, the harmless truth came out: He’s married, has a newborn, and was just trying to make sure my friend and I got home safely after the wedding. When we got there, he waited for us to enter our AirBNB and said, “Have a goodnight ladies! Great meeting you.”

“Get over yourself, Victoria” is what ran through my head as I prepared for bed that evening.

But the next day, I had a much different experience. The groom’s brother had been very charming and polite since my friends and I initially entered town. He often offered us rides and to show us around town, which we greatly appreciated. When I asked my girlfriend what she thought of him at the wedding, she relayed that she thought he was cute. It was clear he thought the same of her. So I took it upon myself to try and make a love connection happen, because what better time then around a wedding to do so?

Well, he offered to take her to the airport. I rode along, as my flight was leaving a day later, and sat in the back quietly as they chatted. After dropping her off at her terminal, he gave her a hug, as did I, and that was about it. No romantic moment whatsoever. I proceeded to sit in the front with him as he drove me to a brunch for the bride and groom. We lightly talked about the city I was visiting as he pointed to different shopping areas and venues.

“So, what did you think of ___?” I eventually asked, trying to kick my matchmaker skills into gear.

“Are you kidding me?” he said with a laugh. He proceeded, “She’s nice, but I’m not really interested in her in that way. But if I came to New York she would be a great person to hang out with and show me around.”

Noted. I let it go, saddened that I would have to pack away my matchmaking attempts. And that’s when things became quite uncomfortable.

“If I was going to talk to someone, it would be you.”

What I assumed were genuine attempts to be friendly also happened to be attempts to spend time with me so he could try and make a move. When I showed him my ring, which I’ve worn every day since getting engaged last year, he seemed disappointed. But what was really disappointing was the fact that he didn’t give up. On the longest of rides, he asked me if I could ever like him in the future, how I knew I was actually ready to get married, why it took my fiancé so long to propose (he said he would know by six months), and said if I wanted to “do something,” I wouldn’t have to worry about him telling anybody while giving me the eye.

I couldn’t get out of that car fast enough.

For a minute there, I wondered if I had been too friendly, if I needed to start making mention of my upcoming marital status straightaway, in the “My fiancé and I” kind of way to make it clear that I wouldn’t likely entertain advances. But, again, I also worry that such moves play into the idea that men and women can’t just be friends. In the case of the first guy, some men really are good guys whose intentions aren’t always what you think. Plus, in the case of the groom’s brother, in reality, my status didn’t matter whatsoever. He was determined either way. This was clear when he said “an engagement means nothing,” and kept trying to create hypothetical situations to encourage me to at least say some Erykah Badu “Next Lifetime” sh-t. Hard pass.

It’s tough. Even if you aren’t looking for a friend, it’s awkward to assume that every male needs to know you’re taken off the bat because you believe they might be out to hit on you. And it’s also quite interesting that by telling someone “I’m engaged,” I’m telling them to respect the man they don’t know and my relationship more than just respecting me and falling all the way back. To be honest, I would have loved to tell him that I’m not interested not solely because I’m in love with someone else who I wouldn’t dare hurt, but also because I’m just genuinely not interested. Because the last thing I wanted for him to think, which I believe he did, was that I’m not giving him the time of the day only because someone else is in the picture. He didn’t have the juice like that…

So with that being said, I don’t have any plans to step out on my old man (who just laughed — over and over — when I told him about the groom’s brother). But I did realize two things from this weekend and this ongoing issue: My fiancé probably needs to start coming to more social gatherings with me (a light SMH at him), and being friendly when off the market can be quite a complicated thing. But I don’t plan on ceasing from being either anytime soon.

“Finally, I Got It Right” Fantasia Talks Fasting For Seven Months Before Meeting Her Husband

June 23rd, 2016 - By Veronica Wells
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Fantasia Talks Fasting For Seven Months Before Meeting Her Husband

Source: MajicATL

We’ve seen Fantasia’s relationship come up. From the fathers of her daughter to the father of her son, a married man, she’s been through some tough heartbreak. And those are just the relationships we know about. But when she met her husband Kendall Taylor, she was in a different space and doing things differently. It’s her relationship with her husband that’s inspired her latest single, “Sleeping With The One I Love.”

In a recent interview with Maria More of Majic 107.5, Fantasia shared her story.

On her new single, “Sleeping With The One I Love”

Now I finally got what God always desired for me. But it was me that was moving out of timing. It was me because I wanted it so bad. So that song just talks about going through all those bad relationships and now I’m sleeping with the one I love.

Prior to you finding him, do you feel like you went through a period of self discovery, like a reflective type space?

(To Maria:) I feel like we know each other. Do we know each other?

Actually, I was doing After Midnight, was in a Broadway show. I was doing it for seven months. And some people say, ‘Well, seven months is not a long time.’ But for Fantasia it is. I went on a fast and I decided that I was going to be in a relationship with myself and learn how to love myself again, plus learn how to let go. I had to let go of the other relationships. You can’t go into something good until you let go of all the bad stuff because you’ll find yourself steady bringing up all the old in a new situation. So I fasted for seven months. I read a lot. Everything that I watched was things that were good for my spirit, man. I watched a lot of T.D. Jakes. I watched a lot of things that I could deposit in myself that would lift me up, build me.

True story, I had index cards, I would write things on them and post them on the mirror in the bathroom. And I would speak it. Because you have to speak life. You have to speak what you want. You have to watch what you say because it’s power in your tongue. So as you get up every morning and you speak it, you’re speaking into your own life what you want, what you desire, what you need. And then of course, I talked to the man upstairs. I told him exactly what I needed in that seven months. I knew I needed a man that was going to come in and build me up because I was a broken woman. I knew I needed a man who was going to tell me how beautiful I was, that was going to tell me he loved me everyday because I had went through so many situations where I felt like I just wasn’t loved the right way. So I asked God for certain things. When I met my husband, he was fasting at the same time. So that’s how I knew. Because I told you I went through a lot of times where I was like, ‘He is the one. I don’t care what nobody say. He wear the shoes I like, he is the one!’ And I had to be patient. It’s hard to be patient. It’s hard to sit back and actually wait and allow everything— just let it be. And when I did that, finally, I got it right.

You can watch this clip from the interview in the video below.

Did You Consummate Your Marriage The Night Of The Wedding?

June 20th, 2016 - By Lauren R.D. Fox
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Wedding Day

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Sex happening on your wedding night may be expected from your partner, friends, and parents (if they’re that pressed to babysit nine months later). But does it really go down in the bedroom after you’ve celebrated your foray into marriage for hours?

Probably not.

According to research conducted by lingerie company Bluebella, only 48 percent of the 1,000 couples they surveyed had sex on their wedding night. Fifty-two percent of the women who were surveyed revealed they were exhausted after the reception ended or too drunk to perform any sexual activity. Others shared they were too busy enjoying their wedding festivities which made them delay consummating their marriage, while a handful of people waited a day or two to make their marriage “official.”

The study also noted that only “84 percent of people were happy with their post-wedding sex” even if it didn’t happen directly on their wedding night. “Unfortunately, weddings are not great foreplay. They’re joyous occasions, of course, but they’re rife with emotion, stress, and anxiety. Most couples end up getting drunk and eating large meals. You’re dancing for hours in uncomfortable clothing and shoes. You’re lucky to make it back to the hotel room in one piece,” sex therapist Vanessa Marin rightfully stated.

Emily Bendell, founder of Bluebella who commissioned the survey, also stated “it’s good to see that so many couples are saying ‘I don’t’ to wedding night sex. Couples are under so much pressure these days to have a ‘perfect day’ that it is refreshing that so many are defying expected norms and doing exactly what they want. If that means, saving the ‘wedding night’ until they can really enjoy it, then why not?”

Marin suggests couples communicate about what their expectations are on their wedding night, even if it seems like a no-brainer. However if  a couple believes they must consummate their marriage on the same day, Marin suggests they have sex the morning of their wedding day.

But if that’s too unconventional for you, the sex therapist advises you don’t overeat or excessively drink throughout your wedding day because those vices won’t lead to passionate lovemaking.

h/t Glamour

Is This Petty? My Fiancé Has An Ugly Last Name And I Don’t Want To Take It

June 17th, 2016 - By Victoria Uwumarogie
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We all know that in this day and age of proud feminism and openly independent thinkers, many women are opting against solely taking their husband’s last name. While some women are proudly keeping calm and carrying on with their maiden name, others are hyphenating. But, of course, there are still many women who take their husband’s name and rock it as their own, whether it’s because they’re psyched at that perk of marriage, or because they just want to keep the peace.

But what is a bride-to-be to do when her fiancé’s last name isn’t a good fit with her own?

Like the commenter on WeddingBee who said she has a friend who isn’t so crazy about her married name: Carrie Larry.

Or my co-worker who said that as someone with such a unique cultural name, she isn’t excited about adopting the last name “Thompson”– no offense to anyone with that surname (it’s lovely).

Or this woman:

“I’m engaged to a guy with the last name Poots. and my baby will have the last name Poots. Nothings sounds pretty or cute with Poots.”

And this woman:

“I can’t decide whether or not to take my fiancé’s last name. I have a simple but unique monosyllabic surname that I like very much. I am also the last person in my family with the name- I am an only child and my father has only sisters. My fiance’s last name is boring and common- it is one of the top 3 last names in the US. I really do like the idea of our entire family (including future kids) having the same last name but I just don’t like his.”

And then, in a more somber situation, there’s this woman, who shared her story for The Stir. She took her husband’s name years ago, but still regrets it:

Twelve years ago, I was excited to dump my 10-letter mouthful of a maiden name for one that was half as long. I was ready to say goodbye to years of having to correct the spelling and the pronunciation of the very German name passed down through my father’s family for generations.

My new name was short and cute, and wouldn’t you know it, my husband and I now had the same exact initials — all the way through. And then seven years ago, I gave birth to a baby girl.

She got my husband’s last name, and I felt a twinge of sadness. The name I so proudly learned to write out in kindergarten had no business here. It had been erased.

So with all that being said, how does a bride-to-be deal with a name they doesn’t feel fits them? It depends on the situation–and the partner.

Some men are very progressive and understand that not every woman takes her husband’s last name these days, for reasons including personal preference and professional purposes. But then there are the guys who consider a woman not taking their last name to be a slight, as though she doesn’t want to fully unite with him. Depending on the situation, it’s good to just be as honest as possible when you feel like the name doesn’t work. I mean, “Carrie Larry”? I would have had to say something about that…

Then there’s always the option to hyphenate, which could create a mouthful, but might be the best way to go in some instances. Either way, I don’t think it’s something a woman should keep quiet about, especially if you worry that it could create some resentment down the line. Plus, considering that it takes quite a bit of time for brides to fully change their last names after the wedding (it’s a long process), you have more than enough time to stall while you figure things out.

It’s complicated, but what happens with your future husband’s last name depends on how you look at what’s in a name. Not to sound like a character from Roots or anything (though they were preaching), but some people consider their name to be everything. It defines you. But for others, taking a surname is but a small part of a bigger picture–becoming one with the person you love. Even if their last name is a bit on the fugly side…

But as always, that’s just my opinion. Where do you stand? Is this a petty issue? How would you deal with it if you didn’t like your future husband’s last name?

 

Do You Believe In The Seven-Year Itch?

June 13th, 2016 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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To me, the seven-year itch has always been a silly concept used to discourage people from getting married; however, new research suggests that this is actually a thing. In case you’re in the dark, the seven-year itch is a psychological term used to describe a decline in marital satisfaction around the seven-year mark.

According to the Daily Mail, a recent study out of Cambridge University suggests that couples are actually more likely to divorce after year seven. Cambridge University statistics professor Sir David Spiegelhalter also notes that if a couple survives the seventh year of marriage, the likelihood of divorce declines each year after that.

“Seven years is the peak risk time for divorce during a marriage,” said Sir David.

He went on to say that while some may expect the likelihood of divorce to increase again later in the relationship, there’s no evidence to support this theory.

“[The risk of divorce] just steadily declines as we get used to each other. It’s a four-star statistic, the seven-year itch.”

Of course, you know your marriage better than anyone, so there’s nothing that a study can really tell you about your relationship that you probably don’t already know. However, the results of this study raise an interesting question: What is it about year seven that makes staying together so difficult?

Marriage Is Good For Your Heart In More Ways Than One

June 13th, 2016 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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Marriage comes with obvious benefits to one’s emotional health; however, science now suggests that married life can also be beneficial to your physical health.

According to CBS News, evidence from a new study implies that married people are more likely to survive a heart attack and are generally released from the hospital sooner than their single counterparts.

“Our results should not be a cause for concern for single people who have had a heart attack,” explained Dr. Nicholas Gollop, clinical research fellow in cardiology at the University of East Anglia and the study’s co-author. “But they should certainly be a reminder to the medical community of the importance of considering the support a heart attack survivor will get once they’re discharged.”

For their study, which was presented last week at the British Cardiovascular Society meeting in, England, researchers analyzed data collected from more than 25,000 heart attack patients in England. Their probe revealed that married people are 14 percent less likely to die from a heart attack than singles. Scientists also discovered that on average, married heart attack patients spent two fewer days in the hospital than single people who survived heart attacks. According to researchers, more than anything, this study highlights the importance of both physical and emotional support during times of illness.

“A heart attack can have both devastating physical and psychological effects — most of which are hidden from the outside world. These findings suggest the support offered by a spouse can have a beneficial effect on heart attack survivors, perhaps helping to minimize the impact of a heart attack,” shared associate medical director of the British Heart Foundation, Dr. Michael Knapton.

However, Knapton was sure to note that this kind of support can come from many avenues — not just marriage.

“Enrolling in a cardiac rehabilitation course, for example, will help you to recover physically, psychologically, and also help you to meet people with similar experiences, who know what you’ve been through,” he shared.

Is There A Link Between Your Sexual Number And Divorce?

June 10th, 2016 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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New research from the University of Utah suggests that there is a potential link between a woman’s sexual number and the possibility that she will experience divorce; however, it’s not what you think.

While the study did find that women who married as virgins are most likely to still be married five years from their wedding day, researchers made similar findings when it came to women who had three to nine partners before saying “I do.” However, there was a sharp contrast between brides who had zero to one premarital sex partner and those who had two. Brides who only had two premarital sex partners the second most likely group to end up divorced.

“In short, if you’re going to have comparisons to your [future] husband, it’s best to have more than one,” explained Nicholas H. Wolfinger, University of Utah department of family and consumer studies professor.

The study also found that women who had 10 more partners were the most likely to end their marriages.

“This is the result most readers of this brief expected: A lot of partners mean a lot of baggage, which makes a stable marriage less tenable. It’s also entirely likely that the correlation is spurious, the product of certain personal characteristics,” Wolfinger wrote.

Institute for Family Studies/NSFG, 2002-2013

Institute for Family Studies/NSFG, 2002-2013

Wolfinger set out to explore the developing relationship between premarital sex and divorce over the years. To do so, he reviewed results from the CDC’s National Survey of Family Growth conducted between the 1970s and the 2010s. As for why the premarital sex habits of men were not included in the study, Wolfinger had this to say:

“Unfortunately, the NSFG doesn’t have full data on men’s premarital sexual behavior and in any event they recall their own marital histories less reliably than do women.”

H/t Komo News

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