All Articles Tagged "marriage"
Whether or not a woman is required to give back the ring following a broken engagement is a debate that has always garnered mixed feelings. While some feel that a woman should absolutely give the ring back if the couple never makes it down the aisle, others disagree. But if you ask former “Name That Tune” producer, Sandy Frank, he’ll tell you that the woman is totally obligated to hand the ring back over.
According to the New York Daily News, the 84-year-old producer is suing his 66-year-old ex-fiancée, Patricia Berg, for the $300,000 engagement ring that he proposed to her with in April of 2009. In the lawsuit, Frank says that the 7.23 carat, cushion-cut diamond ring was never returned when the couple broke off their engagement just four months after his proposal. His attorney Suzanne Bracker argues that Berg and Frank had “a very short-term relationship and he was extremely generous to her;” however, the ring was “conditional gift” that should have been returned.
“He was a gentleman and she should behave as a lady,” Bracker continued. “A lady does not keep what does not belong to her.”
It’s not really clear why Frank waited so long to sue over the ring, but since his broken engagement he married another woman. That relationship, however, didn’t seem to work out either. In 2010 the former couple found themselves in criminal court in relation to an incident where they threw drinking glasses at one another. Unsurprisingly, they later divorced.
Do you believe the engagement ring should be returned if a couple never makes it down the aisle?
If there’s one thing we learned from “Being Mary Jane” it’s that it’s not hard to accidentally find yourself the other woman. If your struggle goes as deep as Pauletta’s, here are a few tips that might help you let that toxic relationship go.
Go Cold Turkey
Delete his number, de-friend him on Facebook, cut off his friend circle, then keep yourself busy with friends until the sting wears off. And when you feel like backsliding…
Remember when John left Bernadine and she set his stuff on fire? She’s not the only one waiting to exhale. We hope these celebrities have fire insurance because once fame and fortune came knocking, they sure left their spouses quick.
Not only did Kev divorce his wife Torrei for a model when his career skyrocketed to the mainstream, he won’t stop talking about how happy he is without her. Zero class.
Last December actor Brian White announced that he and his wife, Paula, are expecting their first child together. It turns out they’re having a girl and the love birds seem to be bursting with joy.
“I can’t even begin to describe how happy I am right now,” Paula told Rolling Out. “Brian is going to be a great father, and I couldn’t ask for a better partner.”
“I feel blessed beyond belief,” Brian chimed in.”To know that you have a child coming into the world, it only makes you want to work even harder, and do all of the things that I know are important to be both a good husband, and a good father. I’ve been reflecting a lot — particularly when it comes to my parents — and just thinking about the things that I admired in them, and the things that I want for myself and for Paula.”
Their daughter is due on April 14th and Brian adds that they’re well prepared for their little bundle to make her big debut.
“When we made the decision that it was time to start a family, we were very smart in our decisions,” Brian added. “We didn’t take extra vacations, or spend money in the club buying bottles. … No, we were investing in our property, and making sure that we thought ahead to make sure that our kids’ lives will be taken care of.”
Luckily for the “Hostages” actor, he found a partner who shares similar beliefs.
“To have someone in my life who thinks about those things in the same way that I do, has made all of the difference in the world.”
They seem so happy!
Marriage takes more than a fancy ceremony and tearful vows to work. Heck, ask any veteran in the marital game and they’ll admit there has to be more than love to stay boo’ed up for the long haul. As arguments over coins tend to be one of the main reasons for divorce, here are some pointers on how to solve money fights in your marriage.
There are few conversations about sex that actually make me want to punch a wall — even three years later. But one conversation in particular has had that effect.
It was an office Christmas party, and a circle of women was engaged in animated chit chat about work, pop culture, and all the sorts of things you discuss at Christmas parties. We worked at a magazine that covered books, so I mentioned a new nonfiction title coming out called The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant.
The second the title left my mouth, one woman, a 50-something with a blonde bob and photos of her two kids plastered around her office, snorted so loud she nearly dropped her drink.
“Oh PLEASE,” she guffawed. “Is it just the words ‘Have lots of sex’ repeated for 200 pages??”
Modern women (and men) are blessed with an excellent body of knowledge on how to get pregnant. From middle school on, we learn precisely what activity winds up getting a girl knocked up. And so we spend the first 10, 20 — even 30 years of our post-puberty lives doing anything possible to not wind up pregnant.
And then, when/if we eventually choose to reverse gears and produce some babies, we think we know what’s in store: sex, and tons of it. Nonstop orgies of pill- and condom-free sex. The flowing river of sex you always wished you could have. A wild circus of erotic wonders and orgasms galore!
What no one mentions is that there’s a perfectly good chance that you won’t get pregnant on the first go-round. Or the second. Or the third. And that before you know it, the one activity that has been your go-to for pleasure in life has become a ceaseless, soul-crushing chore.
Yes, you read that right: Sex to conceive can be a miserable, pleasureless act that makes you question why anyone does the deed at all.
The fact is, getting pregnant can be very easy. Or it can be impossible. Some women slip and fall on a penis, and look! They’re ready to give birth nine months later. Others spend years, thousands of dollars, and a good portion of their sanity on pills, injections, painful and uncomfortable procedures and more pills, only to wind up with absolutely zero results.
Modern medicine knows very little about the differences between these two types of women. Much of the time, doctors and science can’t tell you which type you are. Your ability to get knocked up when you want to all depends on a million things going right at any one time (to the point that it’s almost remarkable that anyone ever gets pregnant at all). And the kicker is, you won’t have any idea which side of the spectrum you fall on until you actually leap in and start “trying.” (See? Even the word we use for sex when it’s supposed to result in pregnancy — “trying” — is unsexy. Trying.)
Personally, I’ve ventured pretty far into “meds, injections, and more meds” territory. After 13 years of dutifully taking my pill every day, I went off birth controll full of optimism and enthusiasm. Bought new lingerie, started taking prenatal vitamins and read every book and website on conceiving that I could get my hands on. The key, all this literature said, is the timing. Getting pregnant is all abouthaving sex when you ovulate. Which sounds obvious. Except when you actually try to do it.
The good news is that an entire industry of tools has been developed to figure out precisely when your ovaries release an egg. You can buy sticks to pee on and thermometers to stick in your mouth (or other places) and charts to fill in. And then you have to find that one 48-hour window, and have as much sex as possible during it.
Read more about sex and pregnancy at YourTango.com
“That’s precisely why I have decided not to get involved with anyone romantically. You just never know where you’ll wind up and I don’t want that baggage,” a former classmate told me over a cup of coffee.
I confided in her that I’d just returned from interviewing for my dream job. The only problem is that the position was in another state. Under normal circumstances, I probably would’ve been waiting by the phone, checking my messages and email waiting to hear back from my potential new employer. Instead, I was avoiding my phone like the plague. I had to admit that while this was my dream position, somewhere deep down inside, I was silently praying that they didn’t pick me. I didn’t want to relocate anymore. Somewhere during the oddly long process of finding the job posting, building up the courage to apply and actually getting a callback for an interview, I’d somehow fallen in love. I felt as if I were a part of some God-orchestrated prank where I was given the two things I wanted the most and then forced to choose between the two.
“I need the flexibility and the freedom to do what I need to do to climb the career ladder,” my friend continued.
I stared back at her, uncomfortably. There was something that I wanted to say, I just couldn’t muster up the courage to admit it—at least not aloud. There we were, well-educated, 20-something women of color with multiple degrees and bright futures ahead. So how could I tell her that having a family slightly outweighed my desire to climb the corporate ladder? How could I tell her that as hard as it is out here for women like us, that I wasn’t 100% certain that I would want to accept my dream job in another city because I was in a relationship, that like all relationships, had no guarantees of happily ever after. I wasn’t ready to make that admission out loud, so I didn’t.
On the train ride home, I played her words in my mind over and over. It had me wondering whether being “open” to love at such a young age could be crippling to one’s career success. Would my undying faith in true love and dreams of raising a family in a cozy suburban home with a white picket fence and a couple of dogs eventually stifle my professional aspirations? Was my friend right? Should love be postponed until a person has reached their maximum career potential? Is it impossible to thrive in both areas simultaneously?
Career vs. love is a decision that professional women have been faced with for quite some time now. But I have to admit that for a long time, I was ashamed to admit that if ever faced with such a heart-gripping decision, I’d probably choose the latter. Thinking about the way that women had to (and continue to) fight for certain rights and liberties, in addition to the fact that our country’s alarming marriage failure rate means that I could very well end up divorced and possibly regretting my decision, is always enough to make me reconsider where my priorities lie. Yet somehow, some way, I always arrive back to the conclusion that love and family simply mean more to me.
Thankfully, I wasn’t forced to make the decision that weighed so heavily on me. The company went with a candidate who didn’t have to relocate to take the job and I can’t say that I was too distraught about their decision.
So, what do you think? Is it possible to have love and a thriving career or will one eventually trump the other?
‘I Thought My Life Was Over:’ Evelyn Lozada Addresses Life After Ochocinco And How Fiancé, Carl Crawford, Makes Her Better
Evelyn Lozada is extremely happy these days. And to be honest, we can totally see why. She’s engaged to be married to a wealthy Major League Baseball star whom she seems totally in love with, she’s pregnant with the second child she’s always wanted and she’s surrounded by people who love and care for her. Overall, the former “Basketball Wives” star seems to be in a great place—a place that is an extreme contrast from where she was just two short years ago. 41 days after marrying former NFLer Chad Ochocinco in a fairytale wedding, the couple divorced following a highly publicized domestic violence incident.
“I had the worst 2012,” she confessed during a recent interview with Life & Style. “I thought my life was over.”
While going through such a traumatic incident is probably never easy, she added that doing so as the world watches made it that much more difficult.
“It happened so publicly, and then the passing of my brother-in-law.”
Though she was clearly broken by the way her marriage ended, Ev expressed that she believes that something positive was birthed in the midst of all of that negativity.
“That entire incident [with Chad] led me to where I’m at now,” she said. “I would say my broken bridge led me to happiness. If I had to do it again, I would because I truly feel complete right now in my life and I wouldn’t change it for anything.”
When asked if she feels her fiancé, Carl Crawford, saved her, she expressed that he appeared in her life at the “perfect time.”
“He came into my life at a perfect time. Everything that happened makes me appreciate him 1,000 times more and he also makes me a better person. I appreciate everything and I thank God every day for my life…I’m really lucky and really, really blessed.”
As for the baby boy that she’s scheduled to give birth to in two months, Ev says she’s very much looking forward to the joys and challenges that raising a son will bring.
“He’s going to give me a run for my money! I’m like, ‘Oh my God, he’s going to want to play and get dirty. “I’m just looking forward to all these amazing things that come with having a boy and a baby.”
And most of all, she says she looks forward to teaching him the importance of respecting women.
“I just want him to love and respect all women.”
It’s tough not to be happy for someone who is so blatantly, well, happy!
Gabrielle Union Says Dwyane Wade Took The Lead On Planning Their Wedding: ‘Secretly, This Is His Princess Moment’
Considering that she didn’t have the time to participate in the planning of her first wedding, you’d think that Gabrielle Union would jump at the opportunity to plan the wedding of her dreams the second time around. But according to the “Being Mary Jane” actress, her fiancé, Dwyane Wade, is the one having all of the fun planning their wedding.
“I’m out doing wine tastings, secretly this is like his princess moment he has waited for for a long time, he’s been hoarding bridal magazines, he’s very ready,” she joked during an appearance on “The Ellen Show.”
The 41-year-old bride-to-be adds that her Miami Heat-playing boo is involved in the tiniest details of what their special day will look like.
“He’s into aspects I didn’t even know went into wedding planning. He is on. To have a centerpiece, to not have a centerpiece—he has very strong opinions. [He says] no centerpieces. Who cares? Um, he does! He’s very particular about the music and the guest list.”
She went on to reiterate that not many people will be invited to the wedding.
“I think people are thinking [the guest list] is a lot bigger than it is. They’ll find out when [they're not invited].”
Ellen also probed about the couple’s 9-year age difference, which Gabby says is most prevalent during bedtime and when it comes to their musical preferences.
“The biggest is like for music. Like I want the O’Jays to play at our wedding. He wants Young Jeezy. You know, I’m like, ‘Ooh, Patti Labelle,’and he’s like, ‘Ariana Grande.’ It’s night and day.”
“If we’re watching ‘Nashville,’ which is one of our favorite shows, I might drift off. That’s one of the downsides of dating an older gal—we drift off.”
While she’s speaking a little more freely about their wedding plans, she remains tight lipped about the actual wedding date.
Check out Gabby’s interview on the next page.
Faheem “T-Pain” Najm admits that he’s now striving to be a better husband to his wife of 11 years, Amber Najm. But according to the rapper/singer, things weren’t always that way. In fact, he confesses to being quite the opposite just a few short years ago.
“I can’t lie: There was a time in the beginning of my career where all this stuff was going to my head and I would just go and do leisurely things and pretty much I would venture off with other women,” the Tallahassee native revealed during an interview with Sister 2 Sister.
Luckily for him, Amber stuck around long enough to allow him to transform into a better man. But it appears that this transformation didn’t take place overnight. From the looks of it, the “I’m Sprung” singer had to do plenty of soul searching.
“I saw the importance of what I had in my family and my wife—somebody that was there to love me for me and not somebody to love me because I was T-Pain.”
“All that stuff came to a standstill. I just figured out that I don’t need that anymore. It was a bad time. I was caught up in the whole “I’m a celebrity” thing. Everybody wanted to be with me.”
After coming to that eye-opening revelation, he began his quest to become a better father and husband to his family.
“I definitely wanted to be a better husband, a better father, and just better my life so that my family can live good,” he explained. “I came to a point that, even though I had so much money and even though I was doing so good, none of that stuff is going to mean anything if my family ain’t okay.”
Catch his full interview in the March 2014 issue of Sister 2 Sister.