All Articles Tagged "love"

Things To Keep In Mind When You Find Out That He’s Just Not That Into You

June 24th, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Shutterstock

There’s no struggle quite like shaking off a crush while you’re still in feeling it. You were hoping he would feel the same way you do, but instead, he just wasn’t that into you after all. No worries, it happens to the best of us. You’ve sworn off texting him and deleted him from your social media. But it’s going to take longer to delete him from your mind.

Any missed connection can ding our self-esteem. The key to getting through it is to remind yourself that every ending is really a beginning. And getting over what “we” could have been and getting back to “me” can teach you some very important lessons.  It’s cool. You will get over it. And these things will help.

If He Hasn’t Done These Things, Don’t Call Him Your Man

June 22nd, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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Shutterstock

If he hasn’t proved that he’s serious about you, should you get serious about him?

Once upon a time, making it official was as easy as circling “yes” or “no” on a “will you be my girlfriend” note in third period. But now that middle school is over, deciding whether or not to make a commitment is a little more complicated.

Just because a man asks you to take things to the next level doesn’t mean that he’s ready to (or worthy of you). So how can you tell if you should say “yes, please” or “maybe later?” If your relationship hasn’t passed these major milestones, it may be a sign that you should pass.

A man who hasn’t done these things to prove that he’s ready may not be, even if he thinks he is. So don’t go calling him your man just yet.

Simple Ways To Make Your Man Feel Special

June 21st, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

If you have a good partner on your hands, he knows exactly what it takes to make you feel special: flowers, jewelry, and a copy of that book you said you’ve been wanting to read.

But when is the last time you did something special for the good man in your life? If the answer is “I can’t remember…” you’re not alone. Men can seem so easy to please that it’s easy to overlook ways to do something extra special every now and then.

However, when he’s gone the extra mile, it’s always nice to go the distance, too. With that being said, we’ve put together a list of little things that are sure to put a smile on the face of a man who really deserves it.

What do you do for your man when you want him to feel special? Share your strategies with us in the comment section.

Why Having It All In Relationships Doesn’t Happen

June 21st, 2016 - By Chad Milner
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I was talking with a friend the other day about relationships and the compromise that comes along with them, and my friend said that relationships are complicated.  I told them that they’re only complicated because we make them harder than they really need to be. I had just come to a realization and I feel my purpose is to add to the quality of life of those that I care about.  

We make interpersonal–especially romantic relationships–complicated because we are still individuals. We all have wants and needs.  Some of them get met and others fall to the wayside.  In this, we find out what we can and cannot live without.  What doesn’t get met eventually will no longer be missed, or there is a beaming light being shone on something that needs to be addressed.  The best thing to do is communicate with others.  If they want to rectify accordingly, that’s great.  If they don’t, then it might be time to move on.

Relationships aren’t complicated, we’re just selfish. We want what we want, how we want it, when we want it, and that’s pretty much it.  No matter how much we love our significant other or spouse, they are just a part of us—an extension.  We attracted them because they had something in common with us and it pleased our ego.  In time, we found out that there were differences and made a choice to continue to grow together.  Even then, people grow up and grow apart.

Then something was said about having it all. and how that idea of our perfect match winds up being many of our downfall these days. Why?  Because we always want it all.  That’s what father of modern psychology, Sigmund Freud’s theory on id, ego, and superego was based around. Having it all is simply a pleasure principle.  We like and want to do the things that are solely appeasing to us. The id is the part of the mind in which innate instinctive impulses and primary processes are manifest. The ego’s job is to meet one’s desires.  The superego is the part of us that makes decisions based on morality.  Maintaining all three is how we as people operate and virtually make simple things complicated.  This is because we all have different experiences that dictate our own unique worldview.

Typically, the construct of having it all is based around maintaining career, health, finances, etc.  However, usually the phrase is based within the context of a relationship.  While working and maintain some sense of personal wellness is all things one control on their own, relationships are a two person sport. We’re social creatures who value companionship and intimacy.  Some of us are too busy and the ones we care for don’t understand, we don’t have the time because we just don’t, too afraid because of the past, in long distance relationships for extended periods of time, and I’m sure we can all think of a plethora more reasons.  

In 2016, I think we want to have it all because we can.  We know that the world is much larger than the places we frequent and it is literally at our fingertips.  There are over seven billion people on earth, so the laws of average say that there are millions of people that are just like us who value the same things that we do and want exactly what we want.  Everyone thinks that they are a unicorn and will simply hold out until we find that other unicorn. Years ago, people were more willing to settle and accept each other’s differences because we had to.  That’s not the case anymore.  I know because I have done this myself.

Sometimes, we set the bar too high.  We lucked out with one person who had all of the right things, but the timing was bad.  So we want to chase that high.  We know that what we’re looking for exists, so either that person who was right with the bad timing will come around or we will meet another who is an improved version of what we like.

That one person is a difficult thing to find.  I am a firm believer that if you want the right kind of relationship you have to work on it and yourself like you do your career goals.  Even then, one person is the dream.  You can be a great catch and get all the attention, but that attention just simply isn’t from the one.  It happens.

The best thing that we all can do is just be mindful.  True self-awareness is very rare.  What are the things that we can and cannot live without?  What are those three things that we value the most?  Things tend to fall a little more into place when we relinquish control.  When it’s all said and done, the desire to control outcomes is why we make relationships more complicated than they need to be.

Did You Consummate Your Marriage The Night Of The Wedding?

June 20th, 2016 - By Lauren R.D. Fox
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Wedding Day

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Sex happening on your wedding night may be expected from your partner, friends, and parents (if they’re that pressed to babysit nine months later). But does it really go down in the bedroom after you’ve celebrated your foray into marriage for hours?

Probably not.

According to research conducted by lingerie company Bluebella, only 48 percent of the 1,000 couples they surveyed had sex on their wedding night. Fifty-two percent of the women who were surveyed revealed they were exhausted after the reception ended or too drunk to perform any sexual activity. Others shared they were too busy enjoying their wedding festivities which made them delay consummating their marriage, while a handful of people waited a day or two to make their marriage “official.”

The study also noted that only “84 percent of people were happy with their post-wedding sex” even if it didn’t happen directly on their wedding night. “Unfortunately, weddings are not great foreplay. They’re joyous occasions, of course, but they’re rife with emotion, stress, and anxiety. Most couples end up getting drunk and eating large meals. You’re dancing for hours in uncomfortable clothing and shoes. You’re lucky to make it back to the hotel room in one piece,” sex therapist Vanessa Marin rightfully stated.

Emily Bendell, founder of Bluebella who commissioned the survey, also stated “it’s good to see that so many couples are saying ‘I don’t’ to wedding night sex. Couples are under so much pressure these days to have a ‘perfect day’ that it is refreshing that so many are defying expected norms and doing exactly what they want. If that means, saving the ‘wedding night’ until they can really enjoy it, then why not?”

Marin suggests couples communicate about what their expectations are on their wedding night, even if it seems like a no-brainer. However if  a couple believes they must consummate their marriage on the same day, Marin suggests they have sex the morning of their wedding day.

But if that’s too unconventional for you, the sex therapist advises you don’t overeat or excessively drink throughout your wedding day because those vices won’t lead to passionate lovemaking.

h/t Glamour

What Items Would You Donate? The Most Interesting Things In The Museum Of Broken Relationships

June 15th, 2016 - By Nneka Samuel
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If there’s one city perfect for a Museum of Broken Relationships, it’s Los Angeles.  And not just any ol’ place in the city of Angels, but Hollywood, smack dab in the middle of the city’s touristic capital where broken dreams are abound.  That’s rather harsh sounding but, hey, there’s truth to it.

The newly opened museum – it opened its doors on June 4 to be exact – was initially conceptualized as a pop-up museum in Croatia by a former couple, both artists.  Now the Hollywood location, which accepts (close to) all donations, is continuing what the one-time couple started.  And while the term “broken relationships” calls to mind a divorce, separation or breakup of a romantic couple, the museum has several themed rooms that speak to all kinds of relationships – those with family members, friends, co-workers, the list goes on.  The museum’s goal is to represent a “collective emotional history.”  If you donate an item to the museum’s growing collection, your story accompanies it.  What would your item and story be?  Take a look at some of the current items in the Museum of Broken Relationships and tell us what you think.

A Father And Son Talk About The Game Of Love

June 15th, 2016 - By Chad Milner
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Having conversations with my father are like dialog with an older version of myself; but we both have a mutually vested interest in making the younger version better than the older.  As a child, I didn’t get my dad, but as I’ve become and adult he began to make more and more sense.  At 30-years-old and a father myself, I listen to a lot of things he tells me and think to myself, In many ways, I am just like you.

Growing up, most of our disagreements were typical father and son disputes.  Like minds often butt heads.  Very rarely–if at all–do we have heated moments.  There are times when he has said some very real shit and it has hurt my feelings, but he almost always calls after to soften the blow and that does mean a lot.  Neither of us like conflict and when there is, we want to resolve it quickly. Even in those rare instances, I know that the reason for a departure from his laid back demeanor is because he is passionate about me being better than him. So he isn’t speaking out of anger but it is with conviction.

I called my dad yesterday afternoon to chat and tell him about a fairly hilarious interaction between myself and a woman I met.  Maybe without consciously thinking about it, I was reaching out for advice and I knew that no one else would know what to say better than he.  A few months ago, we talked about someone I was dating and he said I was way too young to be so cynical and jaded. That statement resonated with me.  It was something that I had been thinking to myself, but hearing it from the man I respect most was the first step in me trying to approach life differently.  His point was that at my age (30), I’m supposed to still be “with the shits” in the name of love because when I’m his age, the pickings get slim, and I don’t want to be that.  So the story was more or less a report to his challenge.

He gave the nonchalant chuckle that I know comes out of the side of his mouth–because I do it too–and was able to quickly articulate something I was thinking too.  The conversation shifted from me to someone that we both know who is batting 0-for-90 in the dating department.

“No matter how much I try to teach them how to swing, and the mechanics that come along with playing the game, they still do what they’re going to do. But just because they keep striking out, that doesn’t mean they can’t get a hit,” he said like an OG.

My dad went on, “We all need a good team.  A good player can become great by having a good team.  Without the right coaching, players get hurt and take themselves out of the game before they fully develop.  So they learn improper techniques and keep getting hurt.”

I replied “Yo.  That’s some real shit.  I need to write that down!”

My father said, “No.”

Read the full article here.

 

About That Checklist: Do You Know What You Bring To The Table In A Relationship?

June 14th, 2016 - By Erica R. Williams
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Corbis

Corbis

The urgency to be in a relationship plagues quite a few women as they get older. I know from experience.

“When will the right man come around and stick around for longer than a few months?” “Will I ever have children?” “When will I finally be a bride and not a bridesmaid?” These are all valid questions that pop up in the minds of women as we progress in age. And while it’s a normal reaction to your love life when you’re single and more than ready to mingle, those are not the only questions that should be asked. What about, “Am I ready to be in a relationship?” and more importantly, “What do I bring to the table?”

If we’re all honest, some single women could be in a healthy relationship by now if it weren’t for their long checklist of criteria for a man. Good job. Good credit. Six-figure income. He has to be a homeowner. His body has to be great and his sex even better. Oh, and he has to frequent church. Needs to know how to dress. Loves his mama, but not a mama’s boy. No children. College degree, and so on and so forth. These things are realistic expectations, just maybe not all in one man. And even if they are, every man will bring something different to the table in a relationship, as will women; but isn’t it unfair to require a laundry list of characteristics out of a partner when what you can offer is a far cry from what you’re asking for?

You want him to make six figures, but you’re just getting by living from check to check. You want him to have a body like he hits the gym every day, but you know you haven’t seen the inside of a gym since high school. His credit has to be over 700 but yours is damaged from an excessive shopping habit. Maybe a man won’t care if you are struggling financially or if your credit score is “childish,” but with that in mind, it might be best if you show some of the same understanding.

Outside of reciprocated expectations, you also have to consider if you’re really ready to be in a relationship, physically, emotionally, and financially. Is your debt stressing you out so much that it will interfere with your relationship? Will you have to depend on him to dig you out of the mess you were in before he even stepped in the picture?

Are you even emotionally available? Are you still sexually and emotionally tied to a man who is adamant that he doesn’t want a relationship with you, leaving you disappointed and secretly saying, “Men ain’t sh*t” in your head multiple times a day? If so, shouldn’t you get your outlook together first?

It’s not another human being’s job to save us or make us complete. While no one will be perfect before, during, or after a relationship, you should want to make sure that you are a whole person before preparing for a significant other to arrive. Consider what you can offer another person in a relationship, and make sure it’s more good than bad. Furthermore, isn’t it unfair to require someone to have it all together when you don’t have it all yourself?

 

Things A Good Man Gives You (Without You Having to Ask)

June 13th, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Shutterstock

Someone once said that when love is good, it’s easy. I don’t know about all that, but your relationship definitely shouldn’t feel like a chore. When you’re with a man who is good for you, things just seem to flow. Most of the time it’s because he’s giving you what you need without you having to ask. And that’s the mark of a good partner.

Rough patches in a relationship usually come about when you need something that he can’t or won’t give. Then the arguments start. And if you’re struggling to get basic needs met in your relationship, you might need to prepare yourself to move on.

Some gentlemen are rough around the edges, and no relationship is completely free of drama. But if you have to fight for these basic necessities, the rest of your relationship is probably going to be an uphill battle.

Ready To Rock The Boat? This Adult-Only Cruise Will Blow Your Mind

June 13th, 2016 - By Lauren R.D. Fox
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Adult-Only Cruise

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If you’re ready to turn up the heat in your relationship, book a trip on the Desire Cruise! Created for couples-only, the cruise provides travelers  with the option to go nude aboard ship and partake in frisky ice-breakers.

Setting sail September 26 through October 3 of 2017, the Desire Cruise will whirl around the Mediterranean Sea starting from the Italian city of Venice and will feature private playrooms, adult entertainment, sensual staterooms, and an aphrodisiac culinary experience.

When asked how the Desire Cruise differs from any other sailing experience, Rodrigo de la Pena, the CEO of the Original Group (who formulated the idea for the cruise) told  The Travel Pulse:

“We have carefully selected this amazing ship and this exotic route to enable us to provide our passengers the opportunity to live a high-end, sensual yet spicy experience in a luxurious and secure environment, where they will receive top quality service and visit paradisiac sites. We’re thrilled to bring to the sea our more than 30 years of experience in creating the perfect sensual atmosphere for adults, and we have no doubt that the Desire Cruise experience will be life-changing for our passengers and will become THE sensual way to get away!”

The Desire Cruise will make port stops at the following cities: Bologna, Italy; Split, Croatia; Dubrovnik, Croatia; Zadar, Croatia, Koper, Slovenia and an overnight stay in Venice.

To learn more about this steamy cruise, visit OriginalCruises.com. Would you go on a nude adult voyage?