All Articles Tagged "love"

How To Put Love On Your To-Do List

September 23rd, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

I read something really interesting the other day: Love isn’t always about luck; it’s about setting a goal and reaching it.

As women, it’s easy for us to fall into the habit of waiting for love to happen to us. It’s the men that do the approaching and it’s our job to be ready when it happens.

But even if you like a man to make the first move, there are lots of ways to make sure you’re in his cross hairs when he’s ready to make that happen.

Putting love on your To Do list means making time in your schedule to make love a priority — and thinking a little outside of the box.

Would You Use Social Media To Reconnect With A Potential Bae Like Leslie Jones?

September 23rd, 2016 - By Lauren R.D. Fox
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Leslie Jones

Los Angeles premiere of ‘Ghostbusters’ – Arrivals
Featuring: Leslie Jones
Where: Hollywood, California, United States
When: 09 Jul 2016
Credit: FayesVision/WENN.com

While some of us may rely on serendipity or fate, others, like Leslie Jones, rely on social media to reconnect with potential baes who got away too soon.

Yesterday, the comedienne went out on a courageous limb and tweeted that while she attended the Governor’s Ball with friends, she found herself flirting with a cute bartender from Alabama who served her Southern hospitality, among other things. Unfortunately, Leslie’s friends were ready to go before she could exchange numbers with him and instead of fuming about the missed opportunity, Leslie decided to send out a search team for her love interest.

Since she posted the tweet, it’s been retweeted 152 times and favorited another 2,399. Because of the traction it received, many fans have asked Leslie if they can be invited to the wedding or even told her to step her game up.

But if you were in Leslie’s position would you ever try to find someone you had a romantic connection online? I wouldn’t necessarily tweet out a search for him but if we attended the same event and didn’t have mutual friends, I would look through the event’s hashtag to see if a photo of him appeared.

Would you do the same or allow the Universe to be the plug? Share below.

 

Stupid Dating Mistakes Even Smart Women Make

September 20th, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Shutterstock

We recently read somewhere that smart women have the toughest time dating. It makes sense when you think about it. The higher up the success and education ladder you climb,  for whatever reason, the harder it can feel to find the right fit in love and life.

Are you making the following relationship mistakes? You’re not alone. Are you prone to overthinking? Do you lead most with your head and not your heart?

We’ve got a list of the common relationship mistakes even the smartest women make. Do you find yourself hung up when it comes to these relationship hurdles?

Why Some People Can’t See Your Value (And How To Deal)

September 16th, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

I’m sure we’ve all done a lot for a person who didn’t appreciate us at one time or another. They were negative when you wanted to be positive. They blocked you out when you tried to let them in. You made yourself available, and yet, that wasn’t enough. They wanted more and more from you. Why would they mistreat you?

The trouble with trying to find a reason is that sometimes it’s just not about you. Maybe they’re hurt, insecure, and battling with issues that don’t have anything to do with you. If you’ve found yourself dealing with the following people, distance yourself and build yourself up instead of staying around people who try to bring you down.

An Open Letter To The Woman Who Will Marry My Ex

September 16th, 2016 - By Patia Braithwaite
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Shutterstock

Hi there,

You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about scorched earth. It’s a military tactic whereby, as you withdraw from a place, you destroy everything that might be useful to the enemy. It makes me think of dry barren lands where no life can grow.

Scorched earth.
All resources destroyed.
Nothing viable left behind except the memory of war.

This isn’t the letter you think it is. I’m not here to throw shade or disrespect you. I’m not here to scorch the earth underneath your feet. Usually, when I hear about his new partners there is either contempt or indifference.  I roll my eyes or suck my teeth at the notion that he could have an adult relationship. I have always thought I scorched the earth — pulled all the soil out from underneath him — when I left.

But life doesn’t work like that for anyone. Love has a way of enduring.

When he told me about you, I knew this was different. He said you were a beautiful soul and I believed him. The words weren’t hollow. They felt true. Another time, when he was inebriated, he told me you saved his life. He told me that the last three years have been hard, and there have been accidents and mishaps. There has been severe depression, and like a thick blanket over his life,  you were there. You were the one person he mentioned with a hint of lightness.

So I’m writing you because I’m grateful for your presence in his life.

You don’t do it for me. I know that. And you don’t need my gratitude, I get that, too, but the world is cruel to our men. The world eats away at Black boys until they are souls without bodies, silently begging for more from this life. I’ve known him long enough to know that he looks for places to hide — bottles and capsules where he can place his fears.  He drives too fast, yells too loud, pushes too soon.

At times he wants to die, but you keep him connected. You are his reason. For that, I am thankful.

I hope that I don’t haunt your mind like former lovers sometimes do. Trust me when I say that I’m not a threat. I’m not a saint. I’m not an angel or a demon. In fact, we don’t even love the same man. I think that’s a common misconception. The person you love is not a person I know. I will always love the boy I loved at 16, but that person is gone now. You do such a good job of loving the person he is now, and he needs you. The boy I worshiped at 16 needs you as well, so hear me when I say this: I love you because you keep the boy I used to love alive.  I love you because, as long as you love him, there’s a possibility that he can continue to evolve. There is a chance he might find peace. Again, you are his reason, and I don’t know how that makes you feel, but I will forever be grateful.

Love Always,

P.

Patia Braithwaite is a New York City based freelance writer. You can find out more about her at www.menmyselfandgod.com

Don’t Waste Your Time: 10 Ways To Tell When A Man Is Playing Games

September 14th, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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When it comes to other women, we can almost always tell off the back who is being real and who isn’t. But with men, things are different and a lot more complicated, especially in matters of the heart.

So how can you tell when a man is saying one thing but actually means something else? These are major red flags that should put you on alert:

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

He Has Zero Follow Through

Say to him, “You said you’d call me — what’s up?” and he’ll promise to do better. And yet, he won’t follow through the next time with his promise. He can’t say he’s not going to call, but his actions prove that calling is low on his priority list.

Qualities In A Man That Are Hard To Work With

September 9th, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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Shutterstock

Even if you can count the number of relationships you’ve had on one hand, it’s pretty clear: no man is perfect. The good news is that’s cool. Because we’re not perfect either.

In reality, “settling” is just kind of a salty word. Everyone has flaws, and real love is about give and take. and finding someone who’s good qualities are better than their not-so-good ones.

But not every flaw can get a pass, even when you’re in love. Here are 13 qualities in a man that are just plain hard to work with.

Ways To Restore The Respect In A Struggling Relationship

September 8th, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Shutterstock

Love and respect are two different things. Unfortunately, when the respect leaves a relationship, feelings can follow right behind them. Whether it’s his job, his behavior, or differing viewpoints, sometimes you wake up and realize that you don’t feel the same way about one another.

But if the love is still there, what do you do? You make an effort, that’s what you do.

If you’re not ready for the relationship to be over, there are ways to start to regain the respect you once had for your partner. If he’s worth the work, trying to see him in a different light might help you fix what’s broken.

Questions Every Woman Should Ask On A First Date

September 7th, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Shutterstock

First dates are the best opportunity to get to know someone. Knowing whether or not a first date has the potential for a second one can all boil down to the questions you ask each other over dinner and drinks.

And that made us wonder, what are the best questions to ask a man on a first date? The ones that let you uncover his deal breakers, get a good feeling about your future, or immediately ask for the check? So we asked the internet.

From dating sites to psychologists, to Tinder users, we’ve gathered the best first date questions out there. Are these on your list? Or do you have better questions for a very interesting conversation?

Situations That Test Your Relationship Once You Move In Together

September 7th, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Shutterstock

When you first move in together, it’s one of the best parts of the relationship. Things are getting serious, the bedroom is busy, and you feel more like you’ve found the one than ever before. That’s  a good thing, because moving in together comes with a crazy number of relationship tests. From stress you expected to arguments you didn’t know it was possible to have, things can take a left turn pretty quickly.

When two adults with completely separate personalities and ways of doing things try to come together as one, the road can get bumpy. But whatever happens, get ready to learn a lot about yourself (and your significant other, too).