All Articles Tagged "love"

Want To Have Sex With No Strings Attached? Avoid “Nipple Play”

August 26th, 2016 - By Lauren R.D. Fox
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You’ve probably already dismissed this article by its title alone and, listen, we don’t blame you. We have no intention of giving up “nipple play” anytime soon. But we also know plenty of ladies who find themselves (seemingly) inexplicably) attached to their lovers, who they sometimes don’t even like, after a simple romp in the hay and they’d very much like that to stop. If you’ve found yourself in that position one too many times, listen to this advice from Larry Young, a researcher from Emory University, who spoke to Broadly about the way the human brain produces oxytocin and vasopressin receptors when humans indulge  in the splendor of sex.

As it turns out, breast and cervical stimulation makes women release heavy doses of oxytocin; thus we become increasingly attached to sexual partners who touch us in these hot spots.

“Humans are the only species where men have adopted the strategy of breast stimulation during sex to stimulate oxytocin release,” Young explained. The breast has become in humans a point of sexual attraction and foreplay. It’s a way to activate the oxytocin system, coaxing the female’s brain to become attached to the sexual partner.”

When we tend to cling to our sexual partners, it’s because our human evolutionary makeup is wired for romantic attachment, which is said to help partners “develop a bond so they could work together to raise healthy offspring,” Young added. But in this day and age of random hooking up and casual rendezvous, Young suggests one other thing that might help you “bounce to the next d-ck” a little more easily: avoid eye contact during sex.

“When you’re having sex with someone you’re making an intimate connection with their face and eyes particularly. This is going into your brain, and it’s inherently rewarding. Love and attachment are very much like addiction. They have a lot of the same chemicals. So if you can divert that information from coming in by not having that eye contact, that will help.”

Noted, thanks.

Learn more about women bio-hacking their way out of emotional attachment from Dr. Young’s entire conversation with  Broadly.

The Brave Woman’s Guide To Sliding Into DMs

August 25th, 2016 - By Patia Braithwaite
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The Best Opening Lines To Use On Dating Apps

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As an elderly millennial, I’ve picked up the art of traditional flirting. I’m not saying I’m good at it, but I can force myself to touch a man’s shoulder or laugh at his stupid jokes if I have to. That said, we’ve approached a new age: the age of the direct message, otherwise known as the DM. If you’re on Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter or Instagram, you are familiar with the private message — a place to send notes and pictures that the public can’t see.

I’ve heard that things go down in the DM, but up until recently, I had no firsthand knowledge of such happenings. Sadly, I haven’t mastered the art of sliding into anyone’s social media inbox, but after brunch one weekend (all bad ideas stem from bottomless mimosas),  I decided to direct message an old thot flame on Facebook. (Is it even called DMs on Facebook? I don’t know.)
“I’m sliding into your DMs,” I proclaimed triumphantly.
“Oh,” he responded. “Okay…”
There was silence before he added, “Snapchat me that pu**y if it’s….cool.”
I, too lame to realize he was quoting a song, was astounded by his forwardness. “Who does he think I am? Do people really Snapchat their vaginas if its…cool?” I thought to myself. “Is there an appropriate filter for these pictures?” Mortified and caught without a witty rebuttal, I closed my chat inbox and swore to never contact him again.  He already had my phone number though, and he text me a few days later.
Everything sort of worked out from there, I guess.
While I initially thought I’d bury this humiliating ordeal in the recesses of my mind, it occurred to me that my experience might help other women. Thus, I’ve asked a few of my favorite men for some tips on how to artfully slide into someone’s inbox. I now humbly share the process with you:
Step 1: Establish Rapport
As it turns out, sliding into one’s DMs works greatly when there is forward momentum. Whatever the social media platform, start off by liking a few posts/pictures. As most of you know, every time you like a picture, the person gets a notification. If you do this for a few days or so, you’re suddenly on the person’s radar.  Pro tip: spread your “likes” over a few days. It’s creepy to log into your account and see someone has liked 40 of your pictures in 12 minutes.
Step 2: Up the Ante
Once you’ve started liking pictures, you can up the ante by adding a comment. One of the guys I talked to suggested compliments that pertain to a particular picture. If your person has a gym picture (a.k.a., a thirst trap), you can compliment his body. If you’re feeling a little less aggressive, you can compliment something less eh…explicit. Maybe he posted a dope sunset or a clever meme. You can shower praise on it, and hopefully your would-be boo will say “thanks.”
Step 3: Slide in the DMs (With a Question)
So the guy has already noticed you in his mentions. He’s probably responded to your comments under his pictures. Now, you just slide into his inbox with a question relevant to his feed. If he has a million pictures from his trip to Philly, you can ask him how the cheese steaks were. The key is to start a private conversation, and BOOM! You just slid into the DMs like a ninja. Pro tip: Steer clear of yes or no questions. Open-ended questions give you more to work with.
Once you’ve started the conversation, the rest is familiar territory. However, if you’re still worried, take comfort in this: My awkward stumble into the DMs did yield a date. The sheer ridiculousness of my experience hints at something ALL of the men I talked to said explicitly: If a person finds you even remotely attractive, it doesn’t really matter how artfully you slide in.  Take your chance, kick down the door of the DMs, and give it your best shot.
The odds are in your favor.
(Special thanks to the gentlemen who contributed to this piece, especially @torres1pr. Ladies, if you want to practice your slide, I’m sure he would be down.)
Patia Braithwaite is a New York City-based writer. You can find her at www.menmyselfandgod.com, or sliding into some DMs on Instagram & Twitter @pdotbrathw8.

Watch And Learn: Couple’s City Hall Wedding Proves You Don’t Have To Go Broke Getting Married

August 25th, 2016 - By Lauren R.D. Fox
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While many of us are pinning photos of elaborate, expensive weddings to Pinterest boards or daydreaming of dancing with 500-plus guests at our wedding receptions, one couple decided to take a more intimate and financially practical approach to their big day with an unconventional destination wedding.

Instead of traveling to the Caribbean or Europe, newlyweds Alva and Bo flew to San Francisco to have their wedding at the city’s gorgeous, jaw-dropping City Hall.

Photographed by Heather Rice Photography, the couple had a navy blue and hot pink color scheme on their big day and looked completely stress free as they shared kisses and sweet looks on their big day. And by the looks of their photos, it appears both Alva and Bo may make minimalist weddings a huge trend this upcoming season.

By making their love look effortless in their photos, we won’t be surprised if couture city hall weddings become the next “it” trend this upcoming season. See more of their beautiful photos, below.

City Hall Wedding

Heather Rice Photography

h/t PopSugar

Ways To Get Him To Do Better

August 22nd, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Shutterstock

Being a superwoman can sometimes be a thankless job: You make breakfast, clean up, and make sure he leaves on time for work and other responsibilities. But if you’ve heard a “Thank you” from your significant other in the past few weeks, maybe you missed it, because you can’t remember when it was said. After a while, being taken for granted works on the most patient woman’s last nerve.

While no one likes feeling underappreciated, it’s not always a sign of a bad partner. Sometimes a good man just needs a little reminder and maybe some encouragement for him to do better. Remembering to value each other sometimes takes work. Put a little effort in now and it can pay itself forward in the (near) future.

Before frustration gets in the way of a good thing, try some of the things on this list. Telling someone about themselves is never a comfortable thing, but trying it this way just might help make things better.

Calm Down: Things That Aren’t Going To Happen If You Never Get Married

August 19th, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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Want to hear a serious question someone wise once told me to ask myself? “Are you afraid of not getting married?”

There are lots of great reasons to get married: because you love someone, because you’re ready to explore another phase in your life, and, of course, because you’re ready. There are also lots of bad reasons to do it. And being afraid of what will happen if you don’t is one of them.

When getting married seems to be what’s expected of you, it’s only natural to be a little worried about what might happen if you don’t follow the lead of others. But many single women find out that their fears about the future were nothing to worry about at all (just like some women who do get married find out that some of their hopes for marriage weren’t as easy to make come true either).

Relationship Issues That Sound Petty But Really Aren’t

August 18th, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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Should you dump a man who doesn’t brush his teeth as often as he should? Or refuse a second date because he made you go Dutch on the first date?

These relationship issues may sound petty, but they’re actually a big deal. It’s never just about the breath or the money. The truth is that hiding behind these minor issues are major ones. And unless something changes, they can be a sign that things may not work at as hoped.

So before you judge yourself too harshly for wanting to give him the boot, read on to see if your issue is really petty — or if it will be a major issue down the line.

An Alpha Woman’s Guide To Getting In Touch With Your Softer Side

August 17th, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Shutterstock

Every strong and independent woman knows that being an alpha female can serve you well in life. You’re not afraid to speak up for yourself, make your mark in the world, and get in right where you fit in.

But life is about yin and yang. And sometimes you want to access your softer side — even when it’s tough. Whether you want to ease the tension in your relationship, get along a little better with those who aren’t so bold and confident, or just open up a little bit more, here are a few tips that might help. It’s hard out here for a boss, but it doesn’t always have to be.

Who Should Pay For Plan B After Unprotected Sex — The Man Or The Woman?

August 12th, 2016 - By Lauren R.D. Fox
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Last week we reported on how many times a woman should take Plan B; today we’re discussing how many times she should pay for it. Or better yet, should a man pay for the morning-after pill for a woman after they’ve had unprotected sex or when the condom breaks?

According to XO Jane writer Sarah Sahagian, they should, and if they don’t, dump ‘em!

In her think piece, “Why You Should Dump Any Guy Who Won’t Pay For Your Plan- B,” Sarah claims that if a man you’re dating doesn’t pay or even offer to pay for the pill, he is and will never be the man for you. “Why is it so important a guy pony up the cash for your Plan B needs? Well, emergency contraception, while sometimes necessary, can be unpleasant to take (although likely less unpleasant than an unwanted pregnancy would be). It causes cramping and breakthrough bleeding, and, in many of my friends’ experiences, it can mess up your menstrual cycle for months. If you have to go through all that physical suffering just to avoid a pregnancy neither of you desire, the least a guy can do is shell out the $10 to $70 it takes to buy the pill, depending on where you are,” she writes.

Sarah based this belief on a relationship she had during her mid-twenties when her significant other of five months traveled with her to the pharmacy, but instead of reviewing the different types of Plan B options, he wandered around the store, shopping for granola bars. “I guess he figured he might as well kill two birds with one shopping trip? Why not load up on groceries for next week while I was busy preventing the birth of his firstborn child,” Sarah said of his behavior.

As she recounted many other events that lead to the demise of their relationship, Sarah shared that the experience in the pharmacy that day taught her to do one thing: create the “Plan B Relationship Test.”

“So, here’s how it works: If, for some reason, despite all your best-laid plans, it becomes necessary for you to swallow some emergency contraception, dump the dude if he won’t pay. It’s that simple. Now, I’m not saying you have to let him pay. If you don’t feel comfortable with that, for whatever reason, it’s totally cool. But he should at least give you the option of letting him pay,” Sarah advised in her piece. “In 2016, if a man offers to buy the Plan B pill, that’s how you know he’s a freaking gentleman…hey, if there’s sperm on the loose in my uterus, I’d like a cash contribution to aid in the war against it.”

While some commenters understood Sarah’s point of view, others deemed it unconventional and a bit crazy, arguing if you’re participating in risky sex, you should be accountable for your own reproductive health — not to mention be more mindful of engaging in such behavior. For those who believed a man should be financially responsible, they said that’s only the case if you’re in an exclusive relationship. Overall, the idea of resting the future of an entire relationship on a pill purchase seems a bit much. While it may say something about a man that he wouldn’t offer to purchase Plan B, if he does, is that a good enough reason to stay in a relationship with him? Further, is Sarah’s “Plan B Relationship Test” a bit ridiculous?

When it comes to matters of the heart and uterus, what’s more, important to you?

 

Man Calls In Fake Bomb Threat To Airport To Prevent Girlfriend From Traveling

August 11th, 2016 - By Lauren R.D. Fox
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Traveling without one’s partner can cause some anxiety, suspicion and even paranoia in a relationship. But never could we imagine it would lead a man to risk it all because he became so engulfed with jealousy.

On July 27, Danesh Gomanie, a New York City resident, called in a fake bomb threat to Caribbean Airlines to prevent his girlfriend from traveling to her home country of Guyana. He told the operator there would be a woman traveling on flight number 527 on July 29 and she would be carrying a bomb or drugs. He then proceeded to give the operator his girlfriend’s name and Customs and Border Protection officers confirmed that she booked a ticket on that flight. The Daily News reports the FBI traced Gomanie’s call and the agents decided to interview both him and his girlfriend about his accusations.

The girlfriend told agents she and Gomanie had an argument about her impending trip because he feared she would make up with her ex-husband, who she has been separated from for 10 years, when she returned to the South American country.

After being released on a $20,000 bail for calling in the fake threat, he admitted to acting out of distrust and as a condition to be released from jail, Gomanie has moved into his father’s house, instead of staying in the same residence as his girlfriend. Gomanie’s father told The Daily News, he’s not sure what his son and significant other see in each other. He  even advised his son to date someone younger so he can have children. But, you know, true love never dies.

Gomanie’s girlfriend has since forgiven him for his ludicrous actions and she says their relationship continues to thrive.

Unbelievable.

What Does The First Kiss Really Tell You?

August 10th, 2016 - By Lauren R.D. Fox
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A few months ago, I went on a date with my college crush and I was excited to see if we could make it work a second time after our short-lived stint in college. While I was on the train, headed to our date, I excitedly texted my best friends about the anticipation I felt and, at the same time, the train ceiling where I was sitting began to leak. Luckily, I dodged the leak but I couldn’t help but wonder if it was an omen for how the night would be.

Sure enough it was.

The date was drier than parchment paper, but by the time we reached our second stop on the World’s Most Boring Date tour, we began to warm up to each other — mostly because of the alcohol we continued to chase. When we eventually got ready to leave the restaurant, my crush leaned in for a kiss and I decided not to leave him hanging. Boy, was that a mistake!

Let’s just say I didn’t rub or lick my lips for the rest of the night and since then we haven’t spoken to each other.

The closest glimpse into what I experienced can be seen on TLC’s new show Love At First Kiss, where strangers lock lips and swap saliva to see if there’s enough spark for them to have a first date. While some of the participants’ kisses are quite steamy, others will leave you squirming in your seat. (See GIF above).

As each episode unfolds, the cameras reveal if it’s fate the participants felt when they tongue-wrestled one another or just a blip of unrequited love. I learned in my own experience that I was disappointed to like someone for so long only to realize #HeDidntHaveTheJuice. It might be petty, but you know…

The truth is, a first kiss may not be able to predict love but it sure can usher in feelings of dislike. Watch the Love At First Kiss trailers below and tell us what the first kiss tells you about a potential lover.