All Articles Tagged "love"

Wasting Your Pretty: Serious Reasons To Move On If It Isn’t Right

June 30th, 2015 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Shutterstock

Stuck on settling for Mr. Almost Right? You could be losing something a lot more serious than just your time. Check out these important reasons to move on — for your health and sanity’s sake.

Tyrese And Shame Remind Us Of The Relationships We’ll Never Be In Again

June 24th, 2015 - By Meg Butler
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Did you catch Tyrese’s new short film Shame? The singer and Jennifer Hudson pair up to remind us of the dysfunctional relationships we swore we’d never get into–again. Here are a few examples of those tired relationships.

Are Your Masturbation Habits Normal? Self-Love By The Numbers

June 10th, 2015 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Shutterstock

Self-love is a very private thing for some people. So it’s no wonder that it’s rarely ever a topic of group conversation. But that leaves many women in the dark when it comes to healthy masturbation habits. Want to know where you fit on the curve? Check out what these studies found.

Fight Fair: Common ‘Low Blows’ That Damage Relationships

June 8th, 2015 - By Tanvier Peart
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Corbis

A good relationship takes time to cultivate. There are certain ingredients required to make it work — and even then it’s never guaranteed.  One major no-no you should try to avoid is “low blows” that cross the line. Here are a few to mentally note.

Read Way to Tell You’re in a Good Relationship

The Surprising Stats On Cheating: Who’s Really More Likely To Be Unfaithful?

June 8th, 2015 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Shutterstock

When you meet a guy, how do you know whether or not you can trust him? These new stats on cheating will have you surprised by the warning signs you should watch out for.

Do you Agree with Nicki? Should Every Woman Demand An Orgasm Every Single Time?

May 30th, 2015 - By Courtney Whitaker
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In a recent interview with Cosmopolitan, rapper Nicki Minaj stated,

 “I demand that I climax. I think women should demand that. I have a friend who’s never had an orgasm in her life. In her life! That hurts my heart. It’s cuckoo to me. We always have orgasm interventions where we, like, show her how to do stuff. We’ll straddle each other, saying, ‘You gotta get on him like that and do it like this.’ She says she’s a pleaser. I’m a pleaser, but it’s fifty-fifty.”

Now, I know, most women reading this are cheering and applauding Nicki. Why shouldn’t be climax every single time? Nine times out of 10, our partner will. However, I know some are probably saying, “I’m a pleaser, I don’t have to go every time.” And, let’s not even discuss some of the women that have never had one.

So, Let’s discuss it. Should one of your requirements be to climax every single time?

Mom’s Reaction To Finding Out Her Son Got A Job With Taylor Swift Is Priceless

May 16th, 2015 - By Courtney Whitaker
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Robert Green not only landed his dream job, but also made his mother’s day.

The 22-year-old shared the news with his mother that he received the dance gig of a lifetime. The news sent his mother Sylvia Watlington-Green into complete shock. You can hear her scream “I’m so proud of you…this is just the beginning…I’m so happy for you.”

Robert began to cry after hearing his mother’s excitement. Green explained, “My mother is the most enthusiastic person I have ever met. Her sincerity and genuine thrill for life is admirable. Two years ago, my mom and I packed up in my 1996 Honda and she drove me from east coast to west coast with just enough money to make it. Prior to this amazing moment…I wasn’t working as a dancer as much as I had hoped. (After a series of setbacks) I was in LA with no job, no money, no car – just the support of my mother and my faith.”

At first, Robert was unsure if he should post the moment online. However, after posting it he received tons of messages. One message came from his soon to be boss, Taylor Swift. She tweeted,

Congratulations to Robert! There’s nothing like hearing the praise of your parents. Especially when you’re in an entertainment career field.

Sign Here, Bae: Attorney Says Love Contracts Can Strengthen Your Marriage

May 7th, 2015 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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Today, many couples looking to tie the knot are encouraged to sign prenuptial agreements to safeguard their assets in the event that the marriage goes south. But according to attorney and legal TV commentator Ann-Margaret Carrozza, entering into a love contract with your husband-to-be has the potential to save your marriage before it’s ever in trouble in the first place.

In an essay for the New York Daily News, Carrozza explains that these documents should be customized to address both finances and lifestyle issues. She writes:

I encourage couples to customize these documents to include provisions to address lifestyle issues, pet peeves, shared goals and “deal breakers.” Examples of common Love Contract provisions are infidelity penalties, vacation schedules, social media parameters — and even fitness goals.

We begin by looking at some common sources of a couple’s disagreements. High on the list for most couples is money. Applying the contract process to this (or any problem) requires each party to become clear about one’s goal.

This may take the form of reducing debt, building up savings or investing in real estate.

Of course, asking bae to sign a contract about fidelity or keeping in shape is everything but romantic; however, Carrozza explains that love contracts are more about self-reflection than placing contractual demands on one another.

Each party is then asked to take a critical look at their own behavior and determine what actions they are prepared to take to achieve the goal. These may include eating out less, cooking more or selling some unwanted items.

The parties then come together to share their goals and voluntary self-action steps. Only then, with this enlightened foundation, do we make constructive suggestions to each other. The actions and goals that both parties believe they can live with become incorporated into the contract.

She concludes:

The Love Contract is both a relationship blueprint and mission statement for a couple. It is a dynamic process that encourages periodic introspection and goal review. Properly utilized, the Love Contract can produce powerful results in terms of strengthening relationships and achieving joint goals.

Does this sound like something you’d be interested in exploring?

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise

Tinder Launches Domestic Violence PSA Campaign

May 7th, 2015 - By Lauren R.D. Fox
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Over the past year, domestic violence has finally become a public national issue that is being addressed by the highest level of government, NFL and even Tinder. As Spring begins the start of a fresh new dating season filled with late, warm nights, an organization named Women In Distress collaborated with Tinder to create fake profiles of three different abusers (look below).

When users come across the domestic violence ad, they are able to swipe through the photo albums of the fake profiles. In the albums, the men are seen from being nice to ultimately very angry and aggressive. The creatives at the ad agency Bravo/Y&R also prompted users by liking profiles they encountered. If the fake profile(s) caught the attention of the user, she would be able to look at its entire album via the “match” chat window.

Bravo/Y&R created this specific ad to prompt women to receive help immediately once they noticed extreme changes in the behavior of the person they’re dating. The ad agency also wanted women to note, nice guys can also become violent and dangerous.

Adweek tested out the new ad and respondents said it was spammy and the profiles may catch consumers off guard. However they believe it would help those who use Tinder to deeply think about what type of relationship they want instead of using the app as a “hook-up” tool.

HomieLoverFriends: When Strings Become Attached In A “Friends With Benefits” Situation

May 7th, 2015 - By Deja Jones
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A year ago, I found myself living life in a gray area. It was perfect because I had just come out of a long-term relationship and was only looking for a cuddle buddy, someone to chill with until feelings surfaced on both ends. I thought we were just going to go with the flow until he wanted out and put me in the friend zone. It was difficult for me to dial it back and undo everything up to that point because I slipped up and caught feelings. My situation was a little different because the benefits of our situationship didn’t come from or with sex, but companionship. A companionship I eventually came to relish. It was the classic, “I don’t want to be alone, but I don’t want a relationship either” scenario that went horribly wrong.

This situationship gone wrong had me wondering if it is possible for friends with any type of benefits to work out successfully, whether the benefits include sex, companionship or just a routine of Friday night movies with takeout. For my case, I’m just going to focus on the most usual benefit of these situations, which is sex. Oftentimes, after several failed relationships and not wanting to put in any effort to work towards another one, we settle for friends with benefits relationships. They usually come with ground rules that are and should be established up front under the pretenses that there will be “no strings attached.” But what exactly are strings? For some, “strings” could be summed up as emotional attachments, a demand for the other person’s attention, an obligation to spend quality time with one another, and the expectation of dates and something more than the “just sex” agreement that was established. Then, I got to thinking, isn’t sex technically a string? Don’t we expect sex from this commitment we’ve made? Don’t we come into it with the expectation that if I call him for sex he’s obligated to give it to me because we have an agreement?

A study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that 42.9% of women reported at least one “friends with benefits” relationship a year.  The same study also showed that the emotional part of these non-emotional agreements can be difficult for most women to avoid, but their male counterparts seem to have more positive reactions to sex-focused relationships. This brings forth the conversation that we’ve all had among our friends, but one that never gets old.

My answer? These situations could work, but there is a huge percentage that don’t. To avoid commitment or catching feelings, simply don’t do it if you know you aren’t built for it. If you decide to try, do not have expectations. You should talk about whether this is going to be a long-term thing, always keep friends out of it, and have no sleepovers and no romance involved. Even with these “ground rules” in place, we sometimes cannot control our avoid our emotions. We can only control the amount of attention and action we give them.

Often, we find ourselves in situations we can’t explain. We never expect them to happen, but there’s no way around it. We want more from a situation that we agreed we wouldn’t get caught up in, and the hard part is coping with those unresolved feelings while trying to get back to that place of friendship before the benefits. The best way to cope is to admit to your partner that you want more; you caught feelings, and, therefore, cannot honor your part of the deal. You will only hurt yourself if you can’t be honest. And don’t expect your partner to be understanding. Take some time away and really evaluate what you want. If you know that settling for just friends with benefits isn’t going to work for you anymore, it’s best to slow down on all the sex. Being friends again is not impossible, but trust me, it will take a lot of time, patience, and mood swings to get back there.