All Articles Tagged "love"
There’s always a special spark when two artists make love and art together. While the unions may not always last, the music lives on forever. Popular music is at its best when couples collaborate. Check out 15 artists who put their boos on the track and made beautiful (or at least decent) music together.
I never usually entertain the opinions of others because everyone is entitled to they're own opinion. (Positive or Negative) But we're in the year of 2015 & when should it be a "problem" to date outside of your race? Why is that an issue AGAIN? I'm doing the unusual & going through my comments & the comments I see about my wife being another race is bugging me out. Who one chooses to date is that persons business. Instead of focusing on (Happiness) & (pure Love) for some reason some folks are still focused on (Color). Doesn't make any sense to me. But I guess that's the ignorance of OTHERS. My wife may not be Black but she is mine. And she's mine with a heart of gold. People are so quick to judge but can't even distinguish the difference of another's race. Sophia Luke is Hispanic. She's not white, she's not black, she's not Chinese, she's Hispanic. And she's mine!!
Empire star Derek Luke’s comments about his marriage had everyone talking about interracial dating. But do you know where the stars stand when it comes to dating outside of their race? Well, you’re about to find out.
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve walked down the street and been bombarded by catcalls only to ignore them and then be publicly insulted, I’d probably be up there with Oprah Winfrey in dollars. I’d be rolling in cash. In my interactions with guys on the streets, in relationships, and just in general, I’ve learned that the male ego is just as fragile as a raw egg. When cracked, things just get messy. This is true in all facets of life, including for men in the public eye.
For example, after learning about Ciara’s vow of celibacy with current boyfriend, Russell Wilson, rapper Future came out of nowhere to try and dump on his ex. He did multiple interviews dishing on some of his most intimate moments with Ciara, even going as far as to state that God didn’t tell him to wait to have sex with her, and that they would pray after doing the deed. He also decided to finally explain why their engagement didn’t work out, and of course, he made it seem like it was because she was forcing him to be someone he wasn’t meant to be. Future even publicly scolded Ciara’s parenting skills. He questioned her decision to allow her new beau to be around their son. He said that if he was a kid and his mother had a man pushing his stroller who wasn’t his father, he would’ve “jumped out the stroller and slapped the sh*t out of him.” After months and months of silence, Future decided to crash the party. Did I mention that he was in the midst of promoting a new album?
The male ego is easily scarred and only time can heal wounds. But in the entertainment industry, a man’s bruised ego can quickly produce an ugly diatribe aimed at the same woman he once claimed to love. Take Jason Derulo for example. Even after a very public and nasty split from singer Jordin Sparks last year, Derulo still has a lot to say to the media about how much he is over her and how she is “so behind him.” All this despite the fact she’s the one who has moved on and found herself in a new relationship. In a recent interview with DuJour, Derulo downplayed his three-year relationship with Sparks, which inspired quite a few love songs, including “Marry Me.” He said, “I don’t think true love can be broken so I don’t think I’ve found it yet.”
And let’s not forget the kings of the clap back: Kanye West, Tyga and Wiz Khalifa. One minute they’re in love and the next they have nothing but hurtful things to say about their exes in the media. Suddenly, Amber Rose is a ho and bad mother who you have to take multiple showers after being with, and Blac Chyna has no ambition. Unfortunately, the media eats this kind of dirt for breakfast, but do we ever stop to think about the women catching all of the heat?
Women get bad raps and sadly we always have. We get labeled as sensitive, insecure and high-maintenance. When we’re upset, we get labeled as angry and bitter. But the men we love who trash us on the way out of our lives are guilty of being just as sensitive, insecure, angry and bitter.
Of course, men put up a tough exterior like nothing phases them, but give them a dose of their own medicine (or better yet, move on and be happy!) and they crumble. They break down and turn up just as easily as women.
Celebrities aside, we’ve all found ourselves in front of the moving train that is the male ego when it’s bruised. No one likes to be hurt or publicly humiliated, but men channel their pain in some very vindictive, destructive and dangerous ways. Black women are often accused of being angry, but men, whether on the way out of a relationship or simply looking for some play on the street, can be full of anger.
As for my stressful walks to and from work, some days I find myself nervous about saying “no” to a catcall coming from the guy who spends his days loitering in front of the bodega. I don’t want to be called a b***h or some other hurtful name. Or worse. So I’m left to turn up my headphones, walk with my head down and wonder, when will men learn how to check their egos?
When I harken back to my youth, I remember how in the church I would often hear that Christians who are dating should be “equally yoked.” I never really understood what that meant, especially since I thought “yoked” was some sort of figurative language pertaining to eggs. As I got older though, the many temptations of the world became apparent to me. I realized that being with someone who shares the same beliefs as you is the ammunition needed to do battle with the worst kinds of temptation that comes your way. I was taught that it was an important part of dating as a Christian to be with someone spiritually sound. That way, when you found yourself in moments of doubt in terms of faith, there was someone by your side who would uplift you and guide you back on track. Today, my religious beliefs have become very ambiguous, and I’m sure only I would understand them, though there are hundreds who could probably identify with me. However, I found myself still pressing for a relationship with someone who could “guide me back to my faith.”
That is until I met someone who was on a completely different end of the spectrum and had a totally separate belief system.
He was Muslim, and I was and am something I can’t even define with a single word, but we had a connection. It was mental and even spiritual, but it wasn’t at all religious. I would share stories with him of what went wrong in my journey of Christianity, and he would share stories of his faith with me. Not once did I feel pressured to be something that I wasn’t. He understood me. I remember telling my mother about him and the first thing she asked me was if he was going to expect me to convert. She also asked me how he felt about me being an independent working woman. Honestly, he didn’t care, and I believe a lot of those stigmas that people carry about choices in faith were shattered for me when I realized how human and centered he was. It made me wonder, is having the same religious beliefs even that important in this day and age? Can an interfaith relationship maintain?
Sure, there are some cons that should be pointed out when it comes to interfaith relationships, such as someone often compromising their position and beliefs to create an accommodating agreement in the relationship. You may even find yourself arguing more when it comes to life decisions, especially if your faith is a big factor in your choices. But even in the midst of these differences, I still believe that there are several pros to maintaining an interfaith relationship, especially if you stand firm in your beliefs and have a mutual understanding with your partner.
Interfaith relationships allow you to see love for what it is. It’s what brought you two together, and it’s what’s going to sustain you in all your differences. Dating someone of a different faith is a constant learning process. You gain a deeper understanding of your partner’s faith and traditions. And it allows you to be more tolerant of other religions and makes you more open-minded. You start to understand why people have a deep connection to their religion and it in turn creates a sense of appreciation for your own faith.
In the end, one of the important lessons I’ve learned from that relationship is that faith is one big tree, and religious choices and beliefs are branches of the same root. At the end of the day, it’s good that even though we share different faiths, my Muslim man, and my spiritual self can still fully identify with, respect and appreciate each other.
Everyone has a celebrity crush, and these stars are no exception. And now that they’ve fessed up, maybe the celebrity objects of their affection will get the message!
Back in January, I decided it was a new year, and I would revisit my search for love. While everyone else was writing down their resolutions and goals for the year, a friend suggested that I write down all the qualities I wanted in a man. So I got to it. I wrote down everything that I wanted and not the superficial stuff like money, cars–you know, things that I would work for and get myself. I wanted things deeper than surface junk. I was looking for someone to spiritually connect with, someone to learn from and grow with. So I wrote down my list of qualities, spoke them into the atmosphere, and drilled them into my mind.
Things went downhill from there.
For most women, we have a list of standards that we would like to see come to fruition in a man. But then again, we also don’t know what we want until we actually get it, so the list is constantly changing. In my case, I started to realize that I give love, at first sight, a whole new meaning. I tend to fall too soon and easily for a part of someone before I get to know the whole them. What’s crazy is at 25, I find myself single, but with a full list of men in my corner. I’ve either gotten tired of them, or they just weren’t for me according to my standards. I was trying to create a voodoo man who didn’t exist in real life. You see, I was falling in love with specific qualities and traits and then allowing myself to catapult head over heels in a short time frame. But when reality set in and I noticed some things I didn’t like, I was easing my way out the door.
I wanted longevity, something stable and comfortable, and when I finally found that I lost myself in it for six years. In love and planning a life with someone, but having no idea of who I was. I wanted a creative and artistic guy who understood my lifestyle, and when I got that, I fell in love within the first month. Within the first three months, we were having conversations that people who’ve been together for three years weren’t even having. Things got serious between us really quickly, but as time went on I realized I wasn’t able to handle his baggage like I thought I could. It was emotionally taxing and he just wouldn’t let me in.
One thing I’ve realized is that hurt changes people. You either become cold and closed off to the idea of love or you’re left wide open, vulnerable and wearing your heart on your sleeve. My heart was on my exposed on my sleeve and in the midst of not wanting to be lonely and desiring love, I didn’t realize I was neglecting the one person who I needed to be loving on the most: myself. I also learned that there were two important factors needed in my life that I was missing, and that was time and patience.
I have since learned that there are ways to take things slow. And by taking things slowly, I mean to actually date and get to know someone before allowing the big emotions to get involved. Here a few tips.
Establish a clear foundation
Just to be clear, it is important to know that love won’t happen overnight. A relationship won’t successfully come into form overnight. Allow yourself some time to get to know this person. Establish a clear understanding of what you’re looking. If you want something serious, be upfront about that. I’ve learned that the most common line we use is “Well, I’m not looking for anything serious, but if it happens I’m not opposed to it.” It’s our safety net, but it’s a corny safety net. Just be real. If you are looking for something serious, say that. If not, then say that as well. We can’t predict the future, but having a clear understanding of our paths is important when it comes to navigating the dating world before we end up falling head over heels for any and every guy.
Hang out with him in different settings
People act a different way in different places. People react to things differently depending on where they’re at and who they’re with, so getting that well-rounded view into their social lives is important. You might not like how they handle conflict or how they speak to people, and that will definitely keep you from falling in love too fast. I once dated a guy who was very rude to employees at places where he was was being serviced, including at restaurants and in checkout lines.
Check them out on social media
In the world of social media, you can create any life or story for yourself and fool anyone who doesn’t know you. But I believe that nothing is a lie. What you post says a lot about how you think and what you’re into. If you’re always posting pictures of yourself with a drink, I’m going to assume you drink a lot. It’s the same assumption with cigarettes, weed, and other things. Even though I don’t think our lifestyles have to be the exact same, they should agree or at least complement each other.
Take off the detective hat and let life happen
If you’re looking for something to go wrong, it most likely will. Once the nitpicking starts, everything becomes a problem. You’ll spend so much time looking for what’s wrong with a guy and what you don’t like about them to the point where you won’t be able to appreciate what’s right.
Stuck on settling for Mr. Almost Right? You could be losing something a lot more serious than just your time. Check out these important reasons to move on — for your health and sanity’s sake.
Did you catch Tyrese’s new short film Shame? The singer and Jennifer Hudson pair up to remind us of the dysfunctional relationships we swore we’d never get into–again. Here are a few examples of those tired relationships.
Self-love is a very private thing for some people. So it’s no wonder that it’s rarely ever a topic of group conversation. But that leaves many women in the dark when it comes to healthy masturbation habits. Want to know where you fit on the curve? Check out what these studies found.
A good relationship takes time to cultivate. There are certain ingredients required to make it work — and even then it’s never guaranteed. One major no-no you should try to avoid is “low blows” that cross the line. Here are a few to mentally note.