All Articles Tagged "life"
Made up your mind about not having kids in the future? You might want to think again. Although there are some benefits to not having children (as we featured previously on Madame Noire here), having children also has its variety of benefits, from physical to emotional.
Although having children is a major life change and responsibility, a family might do more good than harm. Check out a few life benefits of being a parent.
I can’t tell you how happy I was the moment I found out what a schedule was. I was around four years old, and if I remember correctly I found out while watching an episode of “Inspector Gadget.” The incompetent detective had a schedule to keep, and the brilliant Penny and her dog Brain were trying to keep him focused on completing his tasks, and from that moment on, I started making schedules. Love schedules.
My daily routine while growing up was waking up thinking about what I had to do that day, and while brushing my teeth, showering, and getting dressed, I would break down the times that I would perform certain tasks. At the end of the day, when I would think about if I finished coloring that book, or spazz-dancing, there was nothing better than realizing that I had completed everything according to plan. Such a great feeling of accomplishment for a child.
Then high school hit. Dealing with crowded hallways, jammed lockers, classes on opposite sides of the campus, I began to realize that I had to allow a certain amount of error. A percentage of 12% of human error. It worked for the most part, but if I was thrown off too much, I was annoyed until I got back on my schedule. Then college happened, and my idea of factoring in “human error” just flew out the window and I didn’t feel like I knew what was happening. Study sessions, working, social life, classes. For the most part I was running on coffee and fumes through a good portion of college and I began to feel like the bumbling incompetent detective, trying to search for answers for all my classes and feeling like I was being scooped by a child and a dog.
One of the best things that came from all that was the realization that scheduling sucks. Life happens and you can’t schedule it down to the second. Yes, it is good to have a blueprint of how you’re going to run your day, but if you obsess with trying to adhere to it as strongly as I was, it can stress you out. Not to mention that it’s not realistic. Rarely does life happen the way that you want it to, and even when it does, if you close yourself off to the possibilities of something new happening to you, you could be missing out on something better happening.
This realization came in handy when I not only had my daughter, but when I opted to leave my husband to be a single mother. For my child, I have to adhere to a schedule for her, because I’m told that scheduling and familiarity can bring comfort to a child. But I’m definitely a lot better at rolling with the punches. Whether it’s the fact that she can’t sleep and she’s up in the middle of the night, or the fact that I might be sick. You have to learn how to deal with what life throws at you. At the end of the day, the only consistent thing in life is change, so you should embrace it.
You should also embrace Kendra Koger’s twitter account @kkoger.
Over the years, Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade has taken a lot of hits off the court about his personal life, including his fight for custody of his children, the alleged way he treated his ex-wife and his current relationship with actress Gabrielle Union. Now, he’s finally ready to discuss it…well, a little bit.
In the June 2013 issue of Jet magazine, Dwyane Wade takes time to discuss his role as a father and in the midst of that, he reveals bits and pieces of what his relationship is like now with the boys’ – Zaire, age 11, and Zion, age 5 – mother, Siovaughn Funches:
Why he fought so hard for custody of his children:
“I didn’t set out to get full custody but I wasn’t able to see my kids the way I wanted and I’m not a parent who’s going to run away from his responsibilities. I was probably a terrible husband, but I pride myself on being a good dad.”
The state of his relationship now with Siovaughn:
“It’s been six years and hopefully one day she and I can get to the point where it’s a lot easier than it is now to co-parent.”
It should come as no surprise that they don’t get along: Funches allegedly claimed Wade gave her an STD and he’s allegedly called the police on her for not bringing their children back to him on time. The two were together for many years, since they were both teenagers, so there are likely some very hurt feelings still involved.
You can pick up the June 2013 issue of Jet when it hits newsstands May 27th.
I’ve been a Simpson’s fan for years, and one night after my daughter had gone to sleep and I could watch all the greatness that was the fourth season, it made me begin to think about some things in my life. On the episode “Lisa’s First Word,” Marge was groggily telling a toddler Bart a fairy tale. She ended it with “…and they both lived happily ever after.” Bart immediately asked: ”And then what?” I was folding my laundry when I stopped and realized: ”Yeah, and then what?!”
Have you ever been so fixated on accomplishing a goal, and was thinking: ”Okay, if only I can just get this [insert goal here], then things will be great.”? I’ve felt like that more times than I would like to admit. For years I lived my life as: Man, life is going to be great when I graduate college/have this baby/get out of this marriage.” But the thing that I realized that I lacked was thinking about “and then what?”
I grew up as an over planner, having my days timed to the second of what I was going to do, and having my life mapped out. However, life happened, and I found that I was living for the “Happily Ever After” life. So, when I got what I wanted/worked for, since I didn’t give any thought to what to do with it, I was sort of lost. Yes, I achieved some goals that I had set for myself since I was a child, but what now? What do you do with those accomplishments?
One thing that I wished I would have realized, or someone would have told me, was that you can’t just rest on your laurels. You are amazing, that should go without saying, but you can’t just sit back and have someone constantly congratulate you. Once you received that first distinction, do something with it. Use it as collateral to move into the field that you want. Sitting back and patting yourself on the back is not doing you any type of justice, or your future.
Have a contingency plan that connects with what you have succeeded in. Since I was a little girl I always wanted to be a writer, that’s been the only consistent thing in my life. However, accepting compliments and awards for writing wasn’t doing anything. I was given an opportunity to try out book editing, and did it successfully for a few years and for a few big named publishing companies. With that, if/when I pen the great American novel, the background that I have with editing, and the connections that I have with different publishing companies could help me to achieve that goal, while also providing me with a foundation of how to continue having a prosperous life.
Don’t just thinking about about “Happily Ever After,” think about “Happily Never After.” Happiness and success is a luxury that will only come with experiencing failure and confusion. Sometimes when people fixate so much on a goal, but don’t anticipate the roadblocks that come with it, when those roadblocks hit, people stop pursuing. Well, you are going to hit those roadblocks. Success is rarely linear, and there are times that you’re going to have to face a failure and figure out a different way to proceed. I’m not saying that you need to fixate on the negative, just acknowledge that it’s a possibility, and when it happens, that’s when your contingency plan can come into play.
Your life can be a fairy tale. But remember, when you go to ride off into the sunset, you kind of have to know where you’re going, otherwise, you will get lost.
What’s your favorite fairy tale? Share it with Kendra Koger @kkoger.
It’s been 18 years since the death of Eazy-E but one person is not prepared to let his public image die.
E.B. Wright, the 22 year old daughter of the late rapper, is currently putting together a documentary about the life – and death – of her father, according to BET.com. E.B., a budding rapper herself, says that his legacy has not been properly represented and she wants to change that.
“A lot of people don’t know the truth behind his death. There’s definitely a story out there of how people think he died but a lot of it is a misconception, so I think it’s time to tell the story of exactly what happened.”
E.B. says that the documentary, tentative titled Ruthless Scandal, will have in-depth interviews with celebrities, family members, close friends and others who knew the “real” Eazy. Further, there will be interviews from doctors and lawyers as well as documents regarding the death of the rapper. As most of us know, Eazy reportedly died as a result of complications of the AIDS virus when he was only 31 years old. His daughter hasn’t stated whether or not she accepts this but she clearly has had more questions about it as she’s grown.
E.B. also envisions how important her dad would be were he still alive:
“He started all of this, and honestly I don’t even think his impact can be limited to the West Coast. I feel like, if my dad was alive today, he would be Jay-Z businesswise. He was a true visionary. He started the independent label, he started the idea of speaking your mind…”
Ruthless Scandal is currently slated for a 2014 release.
Were you an Eazy-E fan? Would you check out this documentary?
A recent article from The Huffington Post by Megan Totka (the chief editor for ChamberofCommerce.com) posits that maybe it’s time for women to redefine their expectations and the expectations that they have for other women. Encouraging other women, taking advantage of vacation time, and being more open-minded towards flexibility are advised ways in which women can have it all, including sanity. As lovely as this sounds, for the working woman with a family and a demanding job, being a working woman with a personal life may prove to be a treacherous balancing act. But does it really have to be? Is this struggle only in our minds? Well, here is a list of ten baby steps to stop stressing about your life and work and to start figuring out how to free your mind.
Humans, we’re such a weird bunch, aren’t we? As much of some would like to claim that we’re creatures of habit, there’s this little thing called “human error” that we can’t account for. Small things that seem so innocuous can have such a large effect on our behavior. What things you might ask? Let’s see.
Mary Mary is known for spreading lots of positive light to their fans through their music and through their reality TV show, but the ladies are going a bit deeper these days.
They define a good woman as someone who “is proud of herself. Respects herself and others. She is aware of who she is. She neither seeks definition from the person she is with, nor does she expect them to read her mind. She is quite capable of articulating her needs. A good woman has a dash of inspiration, a dabble of endurance. She knows that she will at times, have to inspire others to reach the potential God gave them.”
The duo didn’t stop there; to check out Mary Mary’s full definition of a “good” woman, head to Essence.
Do you agree with them? What’s your definition of a “good woman?
In honor of Women’s History Month this March, we’re counting down monumental magazine cover firsts for African American women.
Though it was just a sketch, in January 1965, Donyale Luna became the first black woman to cover Harper’s Bazaar.
After months of waiting, Beyoncé’s documentary, Beyoncé: Life Is But A Dream, is finally premiering tonight on HBO. Oh, and Oprah threw the fans and stans an even bigger bone when she revealed last weekend that she would be interviewing Bey and it would also air tonight, an hour before the documentary. That’s pretty much Bey overload, right? Well, here’s the thing: because we know that “Beyoncé” is a brand and a bit of a machine, there have been some things that she’s managed to avoid talking about. But tonight, we want answers! Even if you aren’t a big fan, you’ve probably heard some things about her that have piqued your interest and you’d like to hear what she has to say too. So check out some of the things we’re hoping Bey addresses – if the interview and documentary are no holds barred.