All Articles Tagged "life lessons"
We Bring Maternal Instincts To Our Romances : Claudette Ortiz On Why Women Stay In Bad Relationships
R&B Diva and former City High singer Claudette Ortiz has had her fair share of relationship struggles. From the men she dated in her music group, to the sexual assault she detailed on the Divalogues and the domestic violence she’s endured, it’s clear that she’s seen quite a bit and hopefully learned from it. During the weekend of the Espys, The Jasmine Brand asked Ortiz what was the most valuable lesson she’s learned from her relationships and she had some interesting thoughts on why women tend to stay in relationships long after they know they won’t work out. See what she had to say below.
The Jasmine Brand : What was the most important thing you’ve learned from your relationships?
Claudette: Taking your time and knowing your worth.
TJB: How long did it take you to know your worth and keeping relearning your worth?
Claudette: It was a long journey. It took some time. I didn’t have a daddy to tell me he loved me and that I’m beautiful, and a lot of young women don’t have that and we’ll tend to not know our worth and think that a man has to tell us [those things], to know our worth, so it took some time, but thank the Lord.
TJB: When does a woman know it’s time to leave a relationship?
Claudette: A woman knows when its time, its just when she chooses to leave.
TJB: So you think most women know before they actually have the courage and strength to do it?
Claudette: Yeah, and we see signs too. We see signs before it happens, but we think we can change somebody sometimes. I believe that because we’re made to birth children, we’re also made to see the potential in people, because we’re made to see that potential in our children, and cultivate it so we can raise them to be the best human beings they can be. Sometimes we see the potential in a man and think we can cultivate it, when maybe its for the next person [to cultivate].
I found that so interesting. I’ve heard countless discussion about women dating men with potential but rarely heard anyone try to theorize on why that might be the case. Claudette’s theory about our maternal instincts seeping into our romantic interactions doesn’t seem too far fetched to me. What do you all think, is trying to cultivate a man–similar to the ways in which we cultivate children– one of the reasons why women continue to date and stay with men they shouldn’t?
Have you ever found yourself staying in a relationship because you were waiting for a man to realize his potential or you felt like you were the one who could bring it out of him?
It’d be virtually impossible to measure the scope and depth of influence her work has left on the people she’s touched, but as we mourn the passing of Dr. Maya Angelou today we also want to celebrate her legacy. Here are just some of gems she’s dropped on us over the past 86 years.
Sometimes what you see on the screen is real life.
Sure we watched “Martin” because it was funny and honest, but we also watched it — and still watch it — because behind all the how-to jokes of throwing shade and spitting game were lessons of love, lust, friendship, loyalty, and how to pick yourself up and dust yourself off with a smile on your face.
So thank you to Martin and the gang. Life is a tricky game, but five fun-filled seasons of this quintessential 90’s sitcom taught us how to play it, and play it well.
1. MLK Day is a holiday… end of story.
Check out the other 12 life lessons from “Martin” on BlackVoices.com
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was a man whose legacy continues to inspire so many to dream big and create change. As today marks his birthday, there are so many teachings we could all take time to think about in order to better our situation as well as the lives of others. Here are some life and business lessons from Dr. King inspired by some of his most memorable quotes. What’s your dream?
Now, I don’t know if I agree with Jaden Smith’s theory that babies are the smartest people on the planet, but I do think that there’s something about a toddler’s innocence and willingness to learn that is commendable and something that should be noted. As a mother I spend a lot of time watching my daughter and while I’m teaching her the rules of life, she’s teaching me as well. Because I care about you, readers (yes, even you) I wanted to share:
We can’t do right all the time. Sometimes it pays to go for what you want without considering the consequences. These bad bishes may live in the shade, but refusing to pump their brakes has gotten them to where they are today. Here are a few life lessons we’ve learned from their bad behavior. Have you ever stepped out of line to get what you want? And is that ever OK? Share your story in the comments section.
Three words: You.Better.Werk. RuPaul has been inspiring us to be fierce and fabulous since the ’80’s, even though many of us didn’t catch wind until the early ’90’s. Either way, this little piece of advice isn’t the only jewel RuPaul had for us. Check out some of RuPaul’s most inspiring quotes on the following pages.
How many times when you were in elementary school did you think: “When will I ever use this information when I get older?” That was a thought I had whenever I went into gym class, or any other class that I thought was bunk. Regardless of whether the knowledge of how to solve fractions or the ability to decipher an adverb from an adjective is helping you out in your daily life, there are many informal lessons that were also inadvertently taught to you that can still apply today. Universal things that teachers would say in between teaching their lessons. Let’s examine some of these key phrases:
Keep Your Eyes on Your Own Paper – I wish I was clever enough to have thought of this on my own, but I got this gem off of Instagram. However, truth is truth, and this universal colloquialism that was heard across classrooms in the US can still be applicable to adults now.
If you’re obsessed and worrying about how someone else is getting their money and why they are relevant, then you’re clearly not paying attention to your own pockets. If there’s that one reality star (or multiple ones) that seem to be “winning,” despite what you perceive to be a lack of viable talent, begin to focus on improving your own grind. Don’t worry about their paper, keep your eyes on your own.
Write Your Name on your Work – I heard this up until high school. Teachers’ reasoning was “how do I know whose work this is? And how do I know to give you credit if you’re name’s not on it?”
As you should know, if a task is done well, and there’s not a name on said work, please believe that others who want the acknowledgement of a job well done, but don’t want to do the work, will definitely take credit for it. As you become older, you become a brand. Anything that you do (especially if it’s done well) should be attributed to you. If not, someone else can take the credit.
If you Don’t Know, Ask Questions – Your teacher just got finished teaching you something, and then turned to the class and asked: “Does anyone have any questions?” You are clearly confused, but don’t raise your hand. How many times can you remember doing that in school?
As an adult, the fear and insecurity of what others think when you’re confused about something should go out the window. You can’t be your best, or work your best if you don’t really know what you’re doing. It’s better to ask questions to ensure that you don’t look like an idiot, than to not and prove yourself to be.
Have your Supplies – A few of my old teachers main gripes were: “I’m not Office Depot! Stop stealing my pencils and pens!” You’re given a pass as a child, but once you get older your habits become your reputation. So, if you’re constantly in lack of “supplies,” or when crunch time comes and you’re not prepared, that’s what you’re going to be known for.
Sit up Straight in your Seat – Good posture is something that we should have all learned, but it’s something that you might have struggled with. Just know three things: 1.) slouching isn’t a good look when you’re at work, 2.) it can negatively affect your mental and physical health, and 3.) bad posture can help contribute to those lumps and bumps in the midsection that you’re trying to get rid of. If you want to get rid of your pooch, one step (besides healthy eating and exercise) is straighten up. It’ll help activate your ab muscles. Don’t trust me? Just check out this info.
Class is dismissed.
Kendra Koger loved recess, and you should love her twitter @kkoger.
When we’re young, our parents are always spouting off food for thought that we mostly roll our eyes at or ignore. And then one day when we find ourselves drowning in the reality that is adulthood, one of those nuggets of knowledge pops in our brain and we think, “that’s why my mom/dad always said such and such!”
That’s right, they weren’t trying to curb your fun, they were trying to instill values in you and raise a self-respecting adult which you now most likely are if you understand these childhood lessons.
No one knows it all, and sometimes the things that you do know, you might have to be reminded from time to time. Now, I don’t want you to think that I see you all as incompetent, or “fell off of the potato truck,” but everyone needs a helpful reminder. I’m not above self approving and through out my life there are things that I learned that I still have to remind myself each day. I also know that the site carries a myriad of readers from high schoolers, college aged, and fly women, so to each, here are a few things to remind yourself as you go through your daily life. Also, feel free to add in the comment section anything that I might have missed. Remember, self-improvement is the best improvement.