All Articles Tagged "life lessons"

“I Grew Up With A Lot of Conflict And Trauma” Beyoncé Shares Life Lessons In New Video “Yours And Mine”

December 12th, 2014 - By Veronica Wells
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Beyoncé Shares Life Lessons In New Video

Source: YouTube

Beyoncé is showing us all types of facets of her personality these days. In lieu of press tours and interviews, she’s sharing more and more of herself through her actual art work. This time though she’s not singing. In celebration of the one year anniversary of her self-titled visual album, in one of her standard video diary confessional type reflections, Beyoncé talks about the lessons she’s learned, giving us a sneak peek into her perspective on the world. Her are some quotes from the 11 min video below.


I sometimes wish I could be anonymous and walk down the street like everyone else. Before I was famous, I was the girl on the hill with the guitar. I was the girl who just wanted a beautiful view of the beach. And now that I’m famous, it’s really really difficult to do really, really simple things. I think it’s the hardest thing to give up. But my mother always taught me to be strong and to never be a victim. Never make excuses. Never expect anyone else to provide for me, things I know I can provide for myself. I have dreams and I feel like I have a power to actually make those dreams actually become a reality.

When you’re famous no one looks at you as a human anymore. You become the property of the public. There’s nothing real about it. You can’t put your finger on who I am. I can’t put my finger on who I am.

Growing up 

I grew up with a lot of conflict and traumas and I’ve been through a lot, just like everyone else. My escape was always music and I’m so lucky that that’s my job.

I was brought up seeing my mother try to please and make everyone comfortable. And always felt like it was my job to fix the problem…people pleaser. But I’m no longer afraid of conflict. And I don’t think conflict is a bad thing cuz I know that when you grow up, when you learn a few things you’re no longer afraid of letting go. You’re no longer afraid of the unknown.

If I hadn’t gone through some of the painful experiences in my life, I would not be me.


But if I accomplished all of these things and had no one to share with, it would be worth nothing. You know, you need something real in order for any of this stuff to matter. You have to have something that is forever, something that’s invisible.


People feel like they lose something when they get married. But it doesn’t have to be that way. There’s nothing more exciting than having a witness to your life. 

Her body 

I feel like my body is borrowed and this life is very temporary. 

I watched my friend’s body deteriorate. And to watch someone pass on so gracefully put everything into perspective. We do not value ourselves enough. Especially young people don’t appreciate how brilliant our bodies are. I’ve always been very very specific and very choosey…very choosey about what I do with my body and who I want to share that with.


I always consider myself a feminist although I was always afraid of that word because people put so much on it. When honestly it’s very simple, it’s just a person that believes in equality for men and women. Men and women balance each other out and we have to get to a point where we are comfortable with appreciating each other.

I have a lot of empathy for men and the pressures that they go through and the cultures that have been created, especially for African American men. I have the same empathy for women and the pressures we go through. A woman has to provide so many things for their children. I consider myself a humanist. 

And her final thought: 

One thing that’s for sure, the love I have for music, for my husband, for my child is something that will last far beyond my life.

She also speaks about depending on other people, happiness and other life observations in the video below. Take a look below and let us know what you think

10 Lessons We Learned In Junior High…And Then Again Later In Life

October 21st, 2014 - By Veronica Wells
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Before I was a writer by profession, I was a writer by choice. My mother bought me a diary at seven years old and I still keep one today. Reading my old diaries is fas-cin-a-ting. But the stuff didn’t really start getting juicy (and hilarious and embarrassing) until around middle school. Reading my 7th grade diary today, it was clear that I was learning some very crucial life lessons. Very crucial. And while I thought I’d mastered them in middle school, life has a way of retesting you. Here are the lessons I (and most of us) learned in middle school and learned again in our twenties…or later.

We Bring Maternal Instincts To Our Romances : Claudette Ortiz On Why Women Stay In Bad Relationships

July 30th, 2014 - By Veronica Wells
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Source: WENN

Source: WENN

R&B Diva and former City High singer Claudette Ortiz has had her fair share of relationship struggles. From the men she dated in her music group, to the sexual assault she detailed on the Divalogues and the domestic violence she’s endured, it’s clear that she’s seen quite a bit and hopefully learned from it. During the weekend of the Espys, The Jasmine Brand asked Ortiz what was the most valuable lesson she’s learned from her relationships and she had some interesting thoughts on why women tend to stay in relationships long after they know they won’t work out. See what she had to say below.

The Jasmine Brand : What was the most important thing you’ve learned from your relationships?

Claudette: Taking your time and knowing your worth.


TJB: How long did it take you to know your worth and keeping relearning your worth?

Claudette: It was a long journey. It took some time. I didn’t have a daddy to tell me he loved me and that I’m beautiful, and a lot of young women don’t have that and we’ll tend to not know our worth and think that a man has to tell us [those things], to know our worth, so it took some time, but thank the Lord.


TJB: When does a woman know it’s time to leave a relationship? 

Claudette: A woman knows when its time, its just when she chooses to leave.


TJB: So you think most women know before they actually have the courage and strength to do it?

Claudette: Yeah, and we see signs too. We see signs before it happens, but we think we can change somebody sometimes. I believe that because we’re made to birth children, we’re also made to see the potential in people, because we’re made to see that potential in our children, and cultivate it so we can raise them to be the best human beings they can be. Sometimes we see the potential in a man and think we can cultivate it, when maybe its for the next person [to cultivate].


I found that so interesting. I’ve heard countless discussion about women dating men with potential but rarely heard anyone try to theorize on why that might be the case. Claudette’s theory about our maternal instincts seeping into our romantic interactions doesn’t seem too far fetched to me. What do you all think, is trying to cultivate a man–similar to the ways in which we cultivate children– one of  the reasons why women continue to date and stay with men they shouldn’t?

Have you ever found yourself staying in a relationship because you were waiting for a man to realize his potential or you felt like you were the one who could bring it out of him?


10 Gems Of Wisdom From Dr. Maya Angelou

May 28th, 2014 - By Veronica Wells
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Source: Getty

Source: Getty

It’d be virtually impossible to measure the scope and depth of influence her work has left on the people she’s touched, but as we mourn the passing of Dr. Maya Angelou today we also want to celebrate her legacy. Here are  just some of gems she’s dropped on us over the past 86 years.

13 Life Lessons We Learned From “Martin”

March 31st, 2014 - By Madame Noire
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Martin show promo


From BlackVoices 

Sometimes what you see on the screen is real life.

Sure we watched “Martin” because it was funny and honest, but we also watched it — and still watch it — because behind all the how-to jokes of throwing shade and spitting game were lessons of love, lust, friendship, loyalty, and how to pick yourself up and dust yourself off with a smile on your face.

So thank you to Martin and the gang. Life is a tricky game, but five fun-filled seasons of this quintessential 90’s sitcom taught us how to play it, and play it well.

1. MLK Day is a holiday… end of story.

Check out the other 12 life lessons from “Martin” on 

“I Have a Dream:” Life & Business Lessons From Dr. Martin Luther King

January 15th, 2014 - By Tanvier Peart
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Martin-Luther-King-JrDr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was a man whose legacy continues to inspire so many to dream big and create change. As today marks his birthday, there are so many teachings we could all take time to think about in order to better our situation as well as the lives of others. Here are some life and business lessons from Dr. King inspired by some of his most memorable quotes. What’s your dream?

9 Things A Toddler Can Teach You

October 16th, 2013 - By Kendra Koger
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Now, I don’t know if I agree with Jaden Smith’s theory that babies are the smartest people on the planet, but I do think that there’s something about a toddler’s innocence and willingness to learn that is commendable and something that should be noted.  As a mother I spend a lot of time watching my daughter and while I’m teaching her the rules of life, she’s teaching me as well.  Because I care about you, readers (yes, even you) I wanted to share:

Is It Ever OK To Be Shady? Life Lessons From Our Favorite Bad B’s

September 25th, 2013 - By Meg Butler
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 Life Lessons From Our Favorite Bad B's

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We can’t do right all the time. Sometimes it pays to go for what you want without considering the consequences. These bad bishes may live in the shade, but refusing to pump their brakes has gotten them to where they are today. Here are a few life lessons we’ve learned from their bad behavior. Have you ever stepped out of line to get what you want? And is that ever OK? Share your story in the comments section.

You Better Werk! 10 Life Lessons From RuPaul In (Mostly) Gif Form

July 30th, 2013 - By Veronica Wells
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Three words: You.Better.Werk. RuPaul has been inspiring us to be fierce and fabulous since the ’80’s, even though many of us didn’t catch wind until the early ’90’s. Either way, this little piece of advice isn’t the only jewel RuPaul had for us. Check out some of RuPaul’s most inspiring quotes on the following pages.

Keep Your Eyes On Your Own Paper & Other Elementary School Lessons You Should Apply To Adulthood

July 29th, 2013 - By Kendra Koger
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How many times when you were in elementary school did you think:  “When will I ever use this information when I get older?”  That was a thought I had whenever I went into gym class, or any other class that I thought was bunk.  Regardless of whether the knowledge of how to solve fractions or the ability to decipher an adverb from an adjective is helping you out in your daily life, there are many informal lessons that were also inadvertently taught to you that can still apply today.  Universal things that teachers would say in between teaching their lessons.  Let’s examine some of these key phrases:

Keep Your Eyes on Your Own Paper – I wish I was clever enough to have thought of this on my own, but I got this gem off of Instagram.  However, truth is truth, and this universal colloquialism that was heard across classrooms in the US can still be applicable to adults now.

If you’re obsessed and worrying about how someone else is getting their money and why they are relevant, then you’re clearly not paying attention to your own pockets.  If there’s that one reality star (or multiple ones) that seem to be “winning,” despite what you perceive to be a lack of viable talent, begin to focus on improving your own grind.  Don’t worry about their paper, keep your eyes on your own.

Write Your Name on your Work – I heard this up until high school.  Teachers’ reasoning was “how do I know whose work this is? And how do I know to give you credit if you’re name’s not on it?”

As you should know, if a task is done well, and there’s not a name on said work, please believe that others who want the acknowledgement of a job well done, but don’t want to do the work, will definitely take credit for it.  As you become older, you become a brand. Anything  that you do (especially if it’s done well) should be attributed to you.  If not, someone else can take the credit.

If you Don’t Know, Ask Questions – Your teacher just got finished teaching you something, and then turned to the class and asked:  “Does anyone have any questions?”  You are clearly confused, but don’t raise your hand.  How many times can you remember doing that in school?

As an adult, the fear and insecurity of what others think when you’re confused about something should go out the window.  You can’t be your best, or work your best if you don’t really know what you’re doing.  It’s better to ask questions to ensure that you don’t look like an idiot, than to not and prove yourself to be.

Have your Supplies – A few of my old teachers main gripes were:  “I’m not Office Depot!  Stop stealing my pencils and pens!”  You’re given a pass as a child, but once you get older your habits become your reputation.  So, if you’re constantly in lack of “supplies,” or when crunch time comes and you’re not prepared, that’s what you’re going to be known for.

Sit up Straight in your Seat – Good posture is something that we should have all learned, but it’s something that you might have struggled with.  Just know three things:  1.)  slouching isn’t a good look when you’re at work, 2.)  it can negatively affect your mental and physical  health, and 3.)  bad posture can help contribute to those lumps and bumps in the midsection that you’re trying to get rid of.  If you want to get rid of your pooch, one step (besides healthy eating and exercise) is straighten up.  It’ll help activate your ab muscles.   Don’t trust me?  Just check out this info.

Class is dismissed.

Kendra Koger loved recess, and you should love her twitter @kkoger.