All Articles Tagged "lies"
You might like to lump all men into a ball of inescapable dishonesty, flippantly declaring them liars. Broadly speaking, you’d be right. Mankind has been lying to one another since the dawn of time. Human ancestors lied to survive and navigate complex social structures.
Even in those early days, lies were used as forms of entertainment and this culture of lying continues throughout the world, each generation becoming more sophisticated at painting untruths.
While no magic can ever tell you if a man or woman is being completely honest, you can be sure that whenever someone lies, they do so for a reason. Sometimes you can get behind the reason, like a lie told as a prank or in jest. Other times you are not trying to hear that. Relationship lies tend to be more the latter but that doesn’t change the fact that your guy has a perfectly rationalized reason to lie.
Peep the seven reasons men lie in relationships:
“Protect your feelings”
A man will go out of his way to keep his girl from feeling pain, anger or heaven forbid, tears. To keep his lady from crying, he’ll even lay his moral integrity on the line and tell her something that isn’t completely true.
“Honey, do these pants make me look fat?”
“No, baby, your bum is as tight as it was in high school.”
Men and women lie – there’s no doubt about that. I’m not sure if there’s ever a good excuse for lying, but we may always be able to offer a “reason.” We can say that men and women lie for different reasons, but at the end of the day, my guess is that men and women lie to either save their behind or spare our feelings (or both). Most men think women are emotionally fragile creatures who can’t handle the truth – and here are a few examples of “good lies” (if there is such a thing) that men tell us to keep the peace…. Read the rest of this entry »
Read the rest of this entry »
As if dating wasn’t interesting enough, imagine the look on a guy’s face when a sistah breaks this news to him: “I’m a virgin.” The reaction given is usually similar to the one given when a person (to be specific, black person) says they’ve never seen The Color Purple (say WHAAAAAAAAT!?). Yeah, in their face, it’s like they’re reaching for the right thing to say, but the fact that they’re stunned keeps them pretty speechless. You actually can find a much worse reaction when you tell other women about your virgin status. They’re initially pretty confused or say “awwwwww” (like you’re a bunny) and then play like it’s all good: “But seriously, that’s awesome!” However, we know inside they’re all thinking, “That couldn’t be me…”
In a society that is driven by sex, to claim yourself one of the few people around who passes on doing it comes with a lot of side eyes and misconceptions. I thought I’d take a moment to clear a few of these things up.
From books like the 48 Laws of Power to cliché sayings that reference the art of getting what you want, some have immediately come up with the ideal that you have to hurt or use people to get ahead. While you can’t always be Miss Nice Girl in every situation, there is a clear difference between capitalizing on opportunities and using people and taking their kindness for granted.
It’s human nature to operate out of a self-driven nature. If someone will let you borrow the money, indefinitely, why not take your time paying it back? Or if the guy who has a huge crush on you will shower you with lavish gifts, why not accept them although you know you have no interest in him whatsoever? All of these things may seem harmless, but are in fact ways of using people to your advantage. That’s not cool.
While you can sit and attempt to justify reasons for these actions, try explaining them to karma, who requires no explanations, just payback. It’s really as simple as the golden rule when deciding if you are a user. Ask yourself one simple, yet effective question, would I want this done to me?
I will never allow money to be the deciding factor when choosing a job if it’s at the expense of my happiness. I will never, ever (ever, ever) take back a man after finding out he lied to me. These are only two of the things that topped my long list of nevers I had mentally stored since my younger years. While I whole-heartedly believed in these nevers as an optimistic young girl, and to some extent still do as an adult, life has a way of calling your bluff. With time, hearts weaken (or strengthen), circumstances change, and forced wisdom alters decisions. As a result, that laundry list of things you swore you would ‘never’ do become “things you will never do, again”.
We’ve all made promises to ourselves of things that we won’t entertain, choices we won’t make, and people we won’t allow into our lives; but just as we’ve all made these promises, many of us have broken them a time or two. It’s just a part of life.
Here are some of the common ‘I Swore I Would Never’ proclamations some of us make as young girls only to break when we became women.
We’ve all hear the saying ‘you ain’t got to lie to kick it’. Of course you don’t really have to lie, but sometimes, especially when you choose to keep things private, you lie instead of simply saying ‘I don’t want to answer that’. This is probably because when we refuse to answer something, people automatically assume the worst, especially those who know us so well, like our girlfriends.
While women love to run to their girlfriends with the latest tidbits of what’s going on at our jobs, in our love lives, or anything else in between, sometimes there are those things that we would rather keep to ourselves. Even as adults, instead of refusing to answer, we sometimes lie.
Are you guilty of telling any of these white lies to your girlfriends?
Anslem Samuel over at Black Voices put together a list exposing us. The list includes lies like: “I’m over my ex,” “I’ll be ready in a minute,” and “You know I don’t normally do this sort of thing.” You can check out the full list here.
And while you’re over there peep the lies men tell as well. I’m not bashing, but I will mention there are more than 10. Just sayin’.
Do you agree with either list? What lies have you told to or about the opposite sex?
By King Curtis of The Fresh Xpress
“…never interject yourself into another’s relationship or marriage even when they are trying to pull you into it. Some people are attracted to drama so mind your Goshdang business.“ -King Curtis
Just like the chick who attempts to preserve her reputation before committing a questionable act by affirming her integrity, I don’t normally do this. Usually, I stay away from gossip stories and celebrities news because those things are irrelevant to me.
However, this Chris Chambers story was way too strong and ridiculous to ignore. The lesson contained within it is actually more significant than the story, but lets begin with the story for those completely unaware.