All Articles Tagged "liars"
It was a breezy summer morning— the day of my cousin’s wedding. My house was filled with women, mostly aunts and cousins who slept over the night before. I was of course selected to make a supermarket run for everyone, considering that I was the youngest woman in the house. Aunt Barbara was preparing to make one of her famous breakfast spreads for everyone and I certainly wasn’t about to miss out on that.
It’s like he was there waiting for me to pull into that supermarket parking lot. Before I could even get out of my vehicle he was smiling and asking how I was doing. “I’m fine and you?” I responded, barely offering a glance, as I gathered my things and prepared to head into the supermarket. ”You don’t remember me, do you?” he questioned with a smile as wide as the Cheshire Cat’s. I finally looked up at him. He was right. There was something eerily familiar about him, but I couldn’t place my finger on where I knew him from. Ironically, he informed me that his name was Sincere. You’ll find out why it’s so ironic later.
“How old are you?” I finally blurted out, hoping that it would serve as some sort of clue as to where I knew him from. ”I’m 24,” he said without blinking, maintaining that same grin. ”You’re 24?” I repeated. “Yes, I’m 24,” he replied.
Something wasn’t right. I felt it deep down in the pit of my stomach. He asked for my number. Call it a woman’s intuition. Against my better judgment, I gave it to him. To this day, I can’t really explain why I handed my number over, but I did. I walked away with no intentions of ever calling him and even less intention to pick up his call. Yet somehow, between naps, as I recouped from my cousin’s wedding the following day, I did. He captured me from his first sentence. He was very charismatic. He was funny. I love to laugh. Before I knew it, hours had passed and we were still on the phone.
The days to follow were pretty similar. We laughed and talked about any and everything, but still, I felt uneasy about something. “Are you sure you’re 24?” I asked him several times. “Yeah, I just had a really rough childhood, so I seem more mature than I really am,” he’d always respond. I honestly wanted to believe him, but something inside wouldn’t allow me to rest on his explanation. One day, he told me his last name and in no time, I was glued to my computer, combing the Internet for clues that could confirm what my gut was already telling me.
My search revealed one very disturbing fact. He’d lied about his age. It turns out that he was 27, not 24. While there isn’t a huge difference between 24 and 27, the fact he repeatedly lied about his age really creeped me out. Something inside told me that if he’d lie to me, at 22 years old, there was nothing stopping him from doing the same to underage girls. My search continued. I also found two of his social media pages, which he claimed he didn’t have. As you’ve probably guessed at this point, they revealed things that were even more disturbing than finding out he’d lied about his age. He was nothing like the person he presented himself to be and the epitome of the men you try your best to avoid.
And then, there was the gun. Fate would have it that the very same day I made these discoveries, just before I confronted him, he was attempting to show me that his phone wouldn’t send photos. He selected a random image from his cell phone’s photo gallery and attempted to send it to me. Somehow, the cell phone glitch stopped long enough to allow the photo go through. A photo that he never meant for me to see. A photo of him wearing a latex glove while holding a black handgun. I didn’t need to see anything else. I was convinced. I severed ties. But that’s when the harassment began.
For weeks he called my cell phone nonstop and filled my text message inbox with lengthy notes about why I was the only one for him and why he wouldn’t give up on me. Once weeks of his unanswered calls turned into months, the hate messages began. One night he even sent a message implicating that I was the devil. Then, one day, they just stopped. I considered calling the police several times. I was apprehensive about returning to the supermarket where I met him. It was a very frightening experience—one that could have been avoided had I simply taken heed to that little gift called intuition. I never did figure out where I knew him from or why he seemed so familiar, and maybe, just maybe, I never knew him at all. Maybe it was just my intuition.
Follow Jazmine on Twitter @jazminedenise.
‘Fibbing Is Finished:’ Aisha Tyler Talks Sex Scandals And Why Lying Doesn’t Work In The Age Of Technology
It seems like now more than ever, people are being exposed for their dishonest deeds, and not just celebrities and public figures either. We probably have advanced technology to thank for this, which has made it possible for anyone to find out almost anything. The Talk host Aisha Tyler recently shared her thoughts on new media and why lying no longer works, especially in relationships.
“I actually feel sorry for Anthony Weiner. Not because he lost his job in Congress after he tweeted photos of his boxer-clad erection to women who were not his wife, and not because he may lose his bid for mayor of New York City after tweeting photos of his boxer-freeerection to other women who were also not his wife. Not because he has an overinflated sense of his sex appeal, an even more overinflated sense of the appeal of his junk, and the world’s worst impulse control. I feel sorry for him because, through all that frantic sexting—all that career-incinerating, marriage-threatening, life-destroying correspondence—he seems to have thought that even in our high-tech, Wi-Fi world, he could actually get away with it. It’s so gullible it’s almost cute,” Aisha wrote in her Glamour.com blog post.
The 43-year-old beauty went on to say that deception is no longer an option.
“Here’s the cold, hard truth, ladies and gentlemen: Our days of deception have officially ended. From mendacious blood doper Lance Armstrong to greedy womanizer Tiger Woods, from street worker-patronizing Eliot Spitzer to private part-parading Anthony Weiner, prominent men—and women (witness the ham-fisted3 cover-up and tumble from grace of one Paula Deen)—are finding it hard to pull a fast one. Lying. Is. Over.”
“No more secret sexts; they live on the servers forever. And no more trysts in dark restaurants, where every diner with an iPhone is a potential filmmaker, ready to make you famous. We are triangulated, photographed, cookied, and pinged at every turn—computers know more about us now than we know about ourselves. It’s no longer a question of if you’ll get caught in a lie—it’s a question of when,” Aisha continued .”It’s time to accept that fibbing is finished. This is a bitter pill to swallow…”
While taking the spotlight off of men by adding that women are also deceitful, she encouraged readers to try being more transparent.
“Now, many of you may be smugly imagining a world free of two-timing boyfriends and dirty-dog spouses. (And yes, that would be awesome.) But while it may feel like guys are doing all the bad stuff, women stray almost as much as men: 19 percent of us cheat on our partners, compared with 23 percent of men. And when it comes to lying in general, the genders are actually tied.”
“Before you fling your Android into traffic, consider the idea that transparency could be good: Lying’s exhausting. Even a tiny fib requires energy—the fabrications avalanche in an attempt to cover the first one8. And often the lie is worse than the crime.”
“While we’re a judgmental culture, we’re also forgiving—America loves a comeback. Apologize and we’re right there with you, ready to move on. (We even forgive liars: Just ask notorious stomp-around Tiger, now dating Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn.) But for those who do persist in cheating, stealing, and manipulating without compunction or regret, your day of reckoning is at hand. (Cue evil laughter.) So here’s my radical suggestion: Tell the truth. All the time. It may be painful at first, even foreign. But with all the evidence out there in the ether, honesty has never been a better policy.”
Read Aisha’s full blog post here. Would you agree? Is fibbing finished?
Girl, Didn’t You Just Tell That Same Story A Different Way Last Week? How To Deal With A Lying Friend
Whether she’s your go-to girl at work, childhood bestie, or the one you call when it’s time to go out and party, we all have that one friend who we know won’t hesitate to tell a fib (some of you may have more than one of these friends, but if you’re surrounded by a circle of liars, Lord help you!). Now I know everyone tells little tales from time to time, but when almost everything out of your friend’s mouth is a chopped and screwed version of the actual events, your homegirl has a serious problem.
First off, let’s examine why people lie. Some folks stretch the truth to keep from hurting your feelings or to protect themselves from chastisement or humiliation. But when you’re dealing with a habitual liar, chances are, there are some deep-rooted issues going on within, the number one being an insecurity of some sort. People who lie compulsively have the tendency to rearrange details to make themselves look good and other people look bad, or to evoke sympathy from the listener (ego-boosters). So if you’re dealing with someone who fabricates all the time, even about the simplest of things, your friend is probably dealing with some really intense pain (although this is not the case with all storytellers).
I have a cousin who’s lying abilities will have a stranger thinking she’s a multi-millionaire who is married to one of the world’s top business execs. She lies about everything from where’s she’s lived to her career background, eye color, hair length and how much she’s paying on her car note. Ridiculous, I know… but again, people like this are damaged, and believe me, she’s been through hell and back.
So how do you handle these types of friends, or even in my case, family members? Well, it all depends. If your fibbing friend tells tales to the point where you feel like you truly can’t trust them, or her lies negatively affect your life in any way, let her go; especially if it’s someone you just met and don’t have a solid history with. On the other hand, if you feel this woman (or man) is truly your friend—despite the endless untruths she tells—and she’s been through the trenches with you and stuck by you through thick and thin, then it’s time you have a serious talk with ol’ girl—that is, if you haven’t already.
If her lying ways is a real problem for you, even to the point where you want to snatch her tongue out of her mouth, try to get to the root of the issue. Bring your friend’s obsession with storytelling to her attention—most of the time, people like this are so used to lying that they don’t even realize they’re doing it half of the time. See if you can get her to open up about anything that’s had a dramatic effect on her life and assist her in healing her wounds. Reassure your friend that she is worth more than all of Earth’s treasures rolled in one—being that most impulsive liars feel, in some way, that they are lacking somewhere. If all of this fails, just laugh it off and accept that you have a fabricating friend. I can’t lie, they do tell the best stories! (*Shrugs*).
I investigate. That’s just what I do. I like to know who and what I’m dealing with. Of course, I’ve heard that you shouldn’t go looking for anything because you will find it. And I believe this to a certain extent; but some things a girl just stumbles upon…and in this case it was something I wanted to know about a potential boo.
No, I didn’t discover that he was married or had a few kids stashed away somewhere. He wasn’t a convicted felon, nor did he have a secret life of being on the down-low. It wasn’t any of these catastrophic details that he failed to mention; it was something so insignificant that I didn’t even know a man would lie about: his age.
Yes, while playing investigator on Google I found out that my guy was two years older than he said he was. Immediately I thought, who does that? I know you’re immediately thinking, what’s the big deal? Sure, it’s only two years, but c’mon, it was only two years, so why lie about it? At that moment, my curiosity turned to anger, and then curiosity again. Seriously, who really does that?
Everything else about him added up for the most part, or at least, my investigation didn’t reveal any other secrets; but this was a bit much for me. I don’t do liars. And lying about something so minor, made it suddenly so major. If he chose to lie about this, what else would he lie about? Who was I really dating?
I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and even asked him a second time what his age was, claiming that I had forgotten what he’d said; but to my dismay, he looked me dead in my face with a straight face and lied again. Immediately I realized either this guy had a serious issue with our age gap or he was a compulsive liar. I chose to think both and decided his lie was a huge red flag.
If he was, in fact, lying about his age, that would make him eight years older than me. And while this may have seemed like an immediate dismissal or problem to him, it actually wouldn’t have been for me. I had never dated a man more than five years older than me, but it didn’t mean I wasn’t open to it. What I wasn’t open to, however, was dating a liar.
A good man is hard to find; and although it had only been a few months, I thought I had found one. That was until I found out he was lying about something I wouldn’t have cared about and wound up making me question many more things about him and made me wonder what other lies he had told or would tell in the future. Whatever the reasoning behind the fib, it prevented our relationship from ever really flourishing.
I often think about what could have been, if only he hadn’t lied about something so simple; but I know if he lied about his age, nothing would have been off limits in the future. Lying is most definitely a red flag when weeding through the bad guys; but call me crazy, I still think he was a good guy. He just happened to tell a really stupid, bad lie, and for that reason (and a few other things), he was no longer my type.
When you’re dating, you never know what type of mess you’re going to find yourself in.Wouldn’t it be great if we could see the type of baggage potential partners are carrying before we get involved? Yeah, it would certainly help. But unfortunately the cookie doesn’t crumble that way. Instead, we have to go through it. We asked our Facebook followers, which things they wish they knew about their romantic partners before they ever got caught up. There are some outrageous stories. Check them out.
Diandra: He liked guys too.
Vanessa: That’s he’s full of shyt!! EVERYTHING that came out his mouth was a lie.
It’s officially the internet age and everything celebrities Tweet, speak or claim is recorded. But that fact escapes a few of the rich and famous from time to time. Here are a few big celebrity lies your favorite stars have been caught in.
This all started when TMZ posted a clip of Tyga from an unaired MTV show called “Bustas.” In it, an 18-year-old Tyga bragged that he was named after Tiger Woods by wealthy parents who drove Range Rovers and brought him up in The Valley.
And that was news to Tyga fans who thought that the rapper was from Compton. Since the video’s release, Tyga says his parents were only wealthy during the time they were taping the show and that he’s really from Compton. OK Tyga.
I usually pride myself on being a straight forward person who isn’t into playing games. And while I like to think that I’m a good judge of character when it comes to the opposite sex, most men would argue that universally, all women do the same thing when it comes to getting to know a man and dating – the “test.”
I rejected this idea at first, because after all, not ALL of us put men through the wringer when trying to determine if he’s a potential boo or not. But then I started thinking that maybe it’s something we do subconsciously…an innate, primal instinct that dates back to the stone age where women wanted to procreate with only the strongest of the species. After all, who wants to have a child with a weak man? Putting a man through a series of “tests” is our way of knowing if the man that we’re thinking of as a potential mate is strong, confident and capable enough to “handle” us, take care of us and provide for his family. Besides, we can’t just take his word for it right?
While most women can argue that we don’t need a man to take care of us or our children anymore in 2012, the instinct to test a man may still lie within us, even if we’re not aware of it. Some women test men out of insecurity or fear of rejection…so that if he fails our “tests,” we can reject him before he rejects us. Some women test men just because they get a kick out of it and want to play games. Whatever the reason, this could be a good thing when selecting a mate, or it could blow up and backfire in your face. If you’re unsure if you test men, or if you do it for the right reason, take a look at some of these tests to see if they help…or hurt you in the long run.
Horizon City’s Angie Gomez, 19, was recently indicted for receiving donations of up to $17, 000 after lying to people in her community about having cancer. The young woman started her lie in January of last year, telling her high school classmates that she’d found out that she had cancer and only had six months to live. Once word spread about her “diagnosis,” the publications in the area, including the El Paso Times, reached out to interview Gomez and to get her story to the masses. According to ABC News, this is what she told the paper:
“The doctors are telling me to prepare myself and to start planning for what’s about to come. They think the worst is coming, when you start to feel sick and you can’t move. I think they’re all crazy.”
It’s understandable why Gomez was so optimistic and thought doctors were crazy. She was faking, of course! Detective Liliana Medina of the Horizon City Police told ABC News that after investigating, it became clear that Gomez hadn’t had cancer at any point. Ever. In life. Gomez and people in the community started the Achieve the Dream Foundation that was supposed to help young people with cancer. They sold T-shirts and accessories to raise money, but a lot of that money wound up in the hands of Gomez. They even threw a prom in her honor after she told people she missed her high school prom because of treatments for her cancer.
But by summer, people who were helping to raise money for Gomez started to become suspicious of her. Though her cancer was allegedly terminal, she was still up, moving and appeared in great health and spirits. These same individuals informed police, and the investigation kicked off in June of last year. If you’re wondering what role her parents played, somehow the mother of Gomez was unaware for a time that she was doing all of this, but when she found out, she allegedly pushed her daughter to tell the truth. Gomez, now 19, was arrested last week and indicted on a state felony charge of theft of property of $1,500 to $20,000. Her bail is set at $50,000.
And as you should know, Gomez is not the only person who got caught lying about having cancer to attain money and gifts. We told you the story earlier in the month of 25-year-old Jessica Vega, who lied about having leukemia so that she could get people to help her have a lavish wedding and honeymoon. The mother of two told people in her town, which is near NYC, that she just wanted to have her “dream” wedding before she passed. And she did have it–at the expense of those who opened their wallets and hearts to her. But when her new husband found out about her lies, they fell out and eventually divorced, and he told everyone involved that she was a liar. She was arrested on April 3.
Vega was just ordered to somehow pay back $13,368 to her victims, and she will have to remain in jail until May 15 to see if she will have to do any real time. She plead guilty in Orange County Court to scheming to defraud and possession of a forged instrument. The forged instrument was a fake letter by her that was supposed to be signed by a doctor to prove that she was indeed ill. Though her ex-husband is the one who told people she was lying, he plans to help her pay back the victims. Guess he doesn’t want to see the mother of his children go out like that.
It’s truly sad to see the extent people will go to get a little bit (or a lot) of money. There are individuals out here with cancer-stricken children and battling these illnesses themselves, and they could use all the help and d0nations they can get. But instead you’ve got these trifling fools tricking people. Once again, karma is one evil, well-dressed b***h, and these two better look out…
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If you were looking for a reason why you might want to avoid getting caught up in an office lottery pool, this situation might just give you 38 million reasons why.
While working as construction workers in New Jersey, Americo Lopes and five of his cohorts (Candido Silva Sr., Jose Sousa, Daniel Esteves, Carlos Fernandes, and Candido Silva Jr.) used to pool their money together for years in order to have a better chance at winning the lottery. They didn’t have the luck like most people, but in 2009, after sending Lopes with money to buy Mega Millions tickets, they all won! Unfortunately for the five men, Lopes didn’t let them know. That’s right folks, Americo Lopes took the winning lottery ticket, cashed it in, and after deducting taxes, he walked away with more than $17 million. Dirty, much?
Thinking he was very slick, according to the New York Times, Lopes collected the winnings and told his job that because of foot surgery, he needed to quit doing construction. But if The Wire has taught us anything, it’s that word on the street spreads fast. One of the men in the pool found out Lopes won, but he lied and told the men he won after quitting. However, a quick search online found that the man was a winner while still working with his friends, and the five brothas in the pool out millions were being played like losers. So the smart thing to do, which they did, was take him to court. During the proceedings, the men seemed more hurt than angry, because they looked at Lopes as a good friend, while one, Candido Silva, Sr. looked at him like a son. According to the New York Times, he broke down on the stand at the act of alleged betrayal.
Lack of written evidence had Lopes’s lawyers questioning if the men were lying, and the “winner” stuck to the story that he bought a ticket separate from the pool that helped him strike it rich. But in the end, the Union County jury believed the five men and said Lopes would have to share the winnings. A huge chunk of taxes was taken out of the winnings (obviously, 17 million and 38 million = a big difference), and since the lawsuit started, a freeze was put on the money. Therefore, the tax situation has to be dealt with before all of the men can get…how do you say…broke off. But while watching the TV last night, local news outlets were claiming each man might be able to walk away with around $4 million each. Not bad!
When the verdict came in yesterday, Lopes was overheard saying in Portuguese, “They robbed me.” Nice try Mr. Lopes, but it sounds like it’s the other way around…
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