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From BlackVoices

Dear Sista Complains A Lot: There is something that I’ve been wanting to say to you and I finally think it’s time. I’m hoping that you can hear me over your constant grumbles of discontent. I’m praying that you can put aside your finger pointing, wailing and yammering for just a few minutes and process what I have to say.

The honest truth is that no matter how much time you spend “venting,” whining or complaining, the only person that can change your situation is you. I’m sorry, but it’s my turn to complain. You need to know that talk without action is just a bunch of noise.

If you are reading this letter and you are not sure if it applies to you, there are a few clear signs that you’re a Constant Complainer: If you call your friends and they don’t answer or call you back. When your sister or best friends constantly says, “Are we back on this subject again?” If your Mama always says, “Baby, just let that go already!” Or, lastly, if your co-workers have stopped inviting you to lunch and wrap things up fast when they see you coming.

I have some suggestions based on what has worked for others in my life and for me.

Go On a Complaint Diet, Girl!
Limit the number of people and number of times that you vent about a situation, I usually stick with 3. But get it out of your system in the first 72 hours so that you have time to move on. If the situation is long term, move immediately to the next step.

Hatch a Plan
Once you have sat and processed the problem. Come up with a reasonable plan of action to get over it and on with it. Sharing your plan with the same folks you regularly vent to is a great way to let them know you are moving forward, and I’m sure their support will follow.

Read More at BlackVoices.com

Source: Johnny Louis/WENN.com

Dwyane Wade may appear to always be cool and calm despite the rumors and drama surrounding his personal life, but I imagine this week he’s having a pretty tough time trying to walk around without a frown on his face. Ever since Sunday, D Wade has been fighting off one rumor or another, essentially making what started off as an all-star week, a hot a** mess. Let’s break down the real heat this NBA player has been dealing with.

“OK, Well F**k you!”

D Wade’s problems started Sunday night with Lil Wayne’s highly publicized rant during the All-Star game. Now it could easily be said that Chris Bosh got the shortest end of Weezy’s verbal stick, but Dwyane Wade was ished on a bit too.

Though Wayne apologized for some of the things he said — like eff Lebron — he made it clear that he’s still very much eff the Miami Heat, and Dwyane Wade in particular, going off about an altercation they had the previous week:

“I was at the game, rooting for the Lakers, saying ‘Chris Bosh you can’t hit a shot; D-Wade stop crying,’ I’m saying whatever I wanna say, I’m a fan of who I’m a fan of,” he explained. “Then Dwyane Wade comes over and he looks at me. I said, ‘Y’all don’t f**k with me, so I don’t f**k with ya’ll. Yall don’t f**k with me.’ [Wade] looked me dead in my eye and his exact words were, ‘We don’t.’ He didn’t say, ‘I don’t,’ he said, ‘We don’t.’ So I said ‘OK, well f**k you’ then. He said ‘well f**k you.’”

The Jump-off

Someone who sent a more subliminal eff you to Dwayne Wade this week was his alleged groupie who sent a very (non) convincing open letter to MediaTakeOut about their relationship. What started out as somewhat of a thank you to Dwyane quickly turned ugly when the woman referenced his girl Gabrielle, saying “Ohh yea, hi Ms. Union. Good too see you stuck around and have a few more pieces of clothing inside of his house.” Wonder how he explained that one.

Anbody have an inhaler?

Perhaps the award for shade throwing goes to the woman who has been a thorn in Wade’s side for like a decade now — his ex-wife Siohvaughn Wade. The Wades just can’t seem to stay out of court for one reason or another and this time around they’ll be facing a judge because Siohvaugh filed documents claiming Dwyande is putting their children, of which he has full custody, in danger. Specifically, she said:

“[Dwyane] recklessly failed to provide the five and ten-year-old children with any medication for a life-threatening illness.”

The life-saying medication is an inhaler for their sons’ asthma, but by the lack of response from Dwyane’s camp, I’m going to assume they aren’t even bothering to dignify this claim with a defense.

Likewise, he hasn’t bothered to respond to the groupie jump-off rumors either, but Gabby did, defending her relationship and calling the ish starter a “loon” so maybe Dwyane’s week hasn’t been so bad after all.

Source: WENN

From Hello Beautiful

If you’ve been keeping up with your daily HelloBeautiful dish then you know that Gabrielle Union recently made headlines for her response to an open letter written by an alleged jumpoff. It was cold, I had to layer up after reading the tweets I really did. I can’t lie I was secretly having a “yes girl tell em” moment in my head but then I snapped back to reality. If the open letter was from a “crazy batShyte loon” who tried this stunt a year before then why not let crazy be crazy and continue living good?

Whether you are Chocolate Hollywood fabulous like Gabrielle Union or the best braider on your block, the moment you announce the word relationship there will be folks who will try your patience and put your love to the test.  Unfortunately it’s what you sign up for. Jealously and folks who live in the past are like cancers and they thrive in all neighborhoods across the world. There will always be someone who doesn’t like the way you walk or dress. There will be someone who has a problem with the type of man you choose to be with or the career path you take. I don’t want to use the word hater because in my universe those who work against me are invisible.

Whether or not the open letter is legit I feel that Gabby (in my mind we are friends) should’ve used the best weapon possible…silence.

Read more on HelloBeautiful.com.

Source: Thehuffingtonpost.com

Everyone knows the “Basketball Wives” have been doing clean up on aisle VH1 ever since the non-stop fighting this season came to be too much for viewers. Tami’s vowed to do better, Shaunie’s said things will be better, and Evelyn has acknowledged her mistakes. In an article exclusively for The Huffington Post’s Latino Voices section, Ev wrote a letter to her younger self about the decisions she’s made from the age of 7 until 36 and what she’s attempting to undo. Here’s what she said:

Dear Mija,

In exactly twenty-nine years you’re going to find yourself at the middle of a mess that you unwillingly helped to create… You’re going to be the topic of a discussion about women on a national level that won’t be one of your proudest moments. And as large as your life may be at that time, the truth is that you’re going to feel painfully small.

You’ll look through the rearview mirror of your life and see a mountain of mistakes. You’ll realize that although it appears that you’re living out a dream, your seven year old self could never picture this near nightmare at thirty-six. You’ll remember the days when you drowned out the fighting and drama in your own house and the negativity of the women you loved who ultimately shape who you will become. You’ll recall the moments when you sat in front of the television each day after school in search of someone positive and found Oprah and wondered if people like her would ever be a part of your life, or if you’d always have the jaded ones you watched on Jerry Springer.

You’ll make no excuses for your actions, as a matter of fact, you’ll find yourself in tears at the Ah-ha moment Star Jones forces you to have. Beyond what you’ll initially perceive as a malicious attack by Star, lives a hard truth that will shake you to your core. YOU are the little girl, she’s talking about. And it hadn’t dawned on you the effects that your grown-up actions were having on the next generation of little ones who watch negative and abusive moments unfold on television.

It’ll take the moment when you see and hear your future step-daughters pretending to be “you” after watching you behave badly on T.V., that you’ll actually feel real shame. Knowing that the self image they were imitating was the very ‘image of self’ you will so desperately try to escape. In utter embarrassment you’ll find yourself explaining your unacceptable behavior to them, reaching for the imprint of encouragement felt by Star, Oprah, our First Lady Michelle Obama and other positive women of color that have gone before you and that are prayerfully standing behind you…encouraging you…willing you to stand in the space God will so graciously provide for you.” It’ll be the wakeup call you need.

Until now, you’d never put a race, or face or even an age to the eyes that idolize you or see you as an example: be it good or bad. And although, conscious now, you’ll carry the fear of failure with you each second because deep down, you’ll realize that you yourself had never been taught better.

I cannot promise you perfection, Mija. I cannot say that overnight, I’m going to get it right every time. What I will promise you is that I will always remain conscious that little eyes like yours are watching me and because of that, I will try to be better.

Learning To Love You More,

Evelyn

I’ll be the messenger on this one and leave the shade to you all. ¿Pensamientos (thoughts)?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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Beyonce took a little time out of relaxing on the beach during her St. Barts vacation to pen a short note to Michelle Obama. On her website, she posted the letter below, singing the praises of The First Lady and thanking her for being a role model that her daughter, Blue Ivy, can look up to.

Beyonce is usually the one on the receiving end of compliments like this so it’s nice to see her recognize such an important African American figure like Mrs. Obama. Bey’s been a fierce supporter of President Obama’s re-election campaign and Michelle’s right-hand entertainment woman for her “Let’s Move” campaign so perhaps basking under the tropical sun with her husband, away from (most of) the paparazzi got her thinking about how difficult it must be for the Obamas to remain cool under pressure.

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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Untidy as his looks may be, and eager as we the supporters of a more moralistic America may have been to see him with just one wife (i.e. his ex, Toya), Lil Wayne has curried favor with many a woman in the industry.

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