Miss Keri baby is dropping some knowledge this Friday afternoon when it comes to women and relationships — or not depending on your view of the male/female dynamic.

According to Necole Bitchie, innocently, or so it seemed, Keri Hilson uploaded the image above to Instagram seemingly offering an inspiring word to women and girls about their dealings with men. But it didn’t take long for people to zone in on the fact that Keri appeared to be putting all the onus on women when it comes to men treating them right — and that people did not stand for. Seeing the 200-plus comments she received on the posts (mostly in the negative vain) Keri backed up her message with this advice:

“Interesting comments on my last IG post…quite a stir. But I don’t see the confusion. Ladies don’t get it twisted. It DOES start with YOU!! Unfortunately, every man doesn’t possess some standard high amount of respect for every woman they encounter…just as every woman doesn’t exude the same amount of confidence, class, or self respect. This is not a perfect world, where men treat “hoes” with the same respect they give “ladies” just because their mother taught them well.

Bottom line is, a man will treat you according to the “messages” YOU put out there. That’s the way of the world…reality. If you exude sex, you will attract men who want that from you. If you exude self respect, you will attract the type of men who respect women. In this world, you attract what you exude. Ladies, WE set the tone!! NEVER forget that!! We have the power to change our experiences w/ men.”

Keri’s message certainly isn’t wrong, but I’m sure there are plenty of women out there thinking I treat myself with respect and demand it from others and I still can’t find a good man, so don’t act like this advice is foolproof. Or they feel like this commenter who told Keri her message is nothing but “Patriarchy at its finest & many women can’t even see how they buy into and/or perpetuate the oppression.”

I definitely believe we all show others how to treat us, but I, for one, am tired of the notion that women have to teach men how to be men. Some men will attempt to walk all over you no matter what signs you put in the universe. At that point all you have control over is how long you tolerate the nonsense.

What do you think about Keri’s message?

From YourTango.com

By Coach Amy Schoen

There is a whole movement called the attraction principle. Have you heard about The Secret? It’s about tapping in your thoughts to energetically attract the right people and the life of your dreams. It’s one thing to sit back and wish for that someone special to show up in your life…..

And it’s another to take some PROACTIVE STEPS to meeting that right person you so desire to build your life with! This is my Dating Success formula:

AWARENESS plus ACTION plus FOCUS equals LOVE SUCCESS!

Actually I call it “Proactive Attraction”. One of my top dating tips is strategically to put yourself in places and situations that you are going to align with the type of people with who you will connect. You can’t just sit home or do the same things you have always done and expect to meet someone for dating and ultimately your true love partner.

One of my dating tips is that you need to obtain a greater AWARENESS about yourself where you get to know yourself better and gain some clarity around why you are dating in the first place and who would be a great match for you. Also, really be honest with yourself about what has been stopping you from moving forward and meeting the right one? This takes some tough evaluation of your internal and external roadblocks.

Read more about taking action to find the one on YourTango.com.

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock.com

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by R. Asmerom

Success; it’s all in the mind, isn’t it? “ Engaging in limiting thoughts limits your ability to succeed,” says life coach and Inc. columnist Marla Tabaka. Thanks to the popularization of psychology findings and Oprah in the last 10 years, we’ve come to better accept just how one’s thoughts can drastically shape experiences and perception of reality.

Negative thoughts can lead to stress-related illnesses and just a negative life experience. In her recent post for Inc., Tabaka identifies ways to improve one’s outlook, and therefore, improve one’s experience. The post was tailored to business owners and business professionals, who are the main readers of Inc., but the suggestions can be applied to everyone. A few of these suggestions include:

-Changing your environment. This means not being stuck in the office all day. Engage in changing your sceneary and taking a walk, which would help you appreciate all the nature and lanscrapes that exist outside of your cubicle. -

-Engage with positive people – it’s easy to understand how the company you keep affects your life since the ideas and views that emerge from your network can be a source of inspiration…or have the opposite effect. With that said try to seek out people who have an uplifting attitude about work and money. Tabaka takes it a step further and suggests that you “observe their language, including their body language.  Mimic the tone and body language and notice how much better it feels to you.”

-Appreciate your current wealth. Essentially, count your blessings. Focusing on what you have rather than focusing on what you don’t have is sure to lift your mood and help you “attract” more of the good stuff. Sound familiar? It’s the universal law of attraction.

Do you believe in love? I do. Whether it’s the belief in one soul mate, or the belief that one has the opportunity for many loves in a lifetime, experiencing love is indeed a wonderful thing. Love is such an incredible experience, and everyone should have. If you haven’t experienced it, or think you never will, I have a few words of encouragement and advice for you. There’s an old saying when it comes to finding love- “For every pot, there’s a lid.” Here are 10 Tips for Finding the Love of Your Life.

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