All Articles Tagged "lamar odom"
The ride-or-die chick has been name-dropped and applauded throughout the history of rap culture. This is the woman who will stick by her man until the very end, no matter how much she is mistreated. But is being a ride-or-die chick all it’s cracked up to be? We’re not so sure. Let’s take a look at 10 women who are known for standing by their man through hell and high water.
I wish Lamar Odom a speedy recovery. Sincerely.
Still, I have questions. I specifically have a question about love. Or, should I say, how we choose to love.
I have loved some dudes. Some of it was healthy love. Most of it was not. I have loved some dudes who treated me badly. I have loved some dudes who lied and cheated. I have loved some dudes who did not respect me in the least.
But even I, in my most unhealthy of love moments, do not think I could run back and stick by the side of a man who was found unconscious from drugs inside of a brothel.
Don’t get me wrong: I am not heartless. I would definitely see him in the hospital. I would also send him flowers, cookies and pray for him. Heck, I might even help with medical decisions and contribute a few dollars to the cause.
But the divorce, which had been over two years in the making, would go on as scheduled.
And it has nothing to do with whether or not I love him anymore. But as some of us who have labored too long in unhealthy relationships already know, you need to consider your own well-being, and more importantly, your own happiness.
So, this is me hypothetically trying to get out of that situation. And I am trying to go to therapy to figure out my co-dependency issues and what was I hoping to gain for myself by attempting to fix an already troubled man. I am also trying to set and live by the boundaries I created.
I am sure that is what I would do. I am almost certain of it. Well…it is what I envisioned I would do at least.
It’s hard to know for sure, especially when society itself seems to hold special reverence for being a ride-or-die chick. Or should I say some ride-or-die chicks. Some ride-or-die chicks are just dismissed as stupid. And others get to be Khloe Kardashian.
And let’s not get it twisted: For all her wealth, fame and, ahem, prestige, Khloe Kardashian is the epitome of a ride-or-die chick.
Let’s think about this for a minute.
Odom’s recent overdose is just the latest in a long line of troubles, including numerous reports of partying with strippers, infidelity, drug binges and failed rehab attempts. The situation had gotten so bad that Kardashian decided to pull the plug on a reality television show that had been centered around their marriage. She said she did it so that she could “support” her husband as he worked on getting his basketball career back on track.
During the couple’s hiatus from television, they would break up and make up several times throughout the course of their relationship. Although all signs pointed to a divorce, Kardashian told People magazine back in 2012: “I’m a modern girl, but you should put your husband first,” she says. “I like to think divorce is not an option.”
But shortly after a video surfaced, which showed the former Dallas Maverick rapping about using drugs and having several mistresses, Kardashian decided to file for divorce.
As far as the world was concerned, Kardashian had finally sobered up. And it certainly appeared like she had moved on. Not only had she lost weight, changed her hair color and added some extra “accessories,” but she had been linked to a number of eligible bachelors, including French Montana and James Harden.
That was until a couple of weeks ago, when once again, her “husband” found himself in trouble. The same kind of trouble that he had been getting into repeatedly during their marriage. Instead of taking his latest relapse as a sign that she had made the right decision by getting out of that hole and moving on with her life, Kardashian decided to dig deeper. She not only rushed to join him by his bedside, but she also decided to, once again, work on her marriage.
Let’s say this together: Ride or die.
Perhaps it is true that love conquers all and that sometimes we have to weather the storm. That is what we learn about relationships from the fairy tales, romance novels, and our religious teachings. But the reality is that most women (and men) usually don’t always fare too well in these type of ride-or-die circumstances. In many instances, a woman can easily find themselves broke, heartbroken, mentally ill, disease-infested, in jail or even dead.
A great read on the consequences of being a ride-or-die chick is the essay entitled “What Happened to Kiesha?” which first ran on the website Ride or Die Project, a site dedicated to demystifying the trials and tribulations of women who stay in toxic relationships.
As the title suggests, in the essay, writer Amanda Parris breaks down the tragic life of the Kiesha character from the 1998 Hip-Hop film Belly. Although she is a fictional character, Kiesha has become sort of a symbol of not only steadfast loyalty, but also a type of beauty, which was missing from the “light-made-basically-white, surgically enhanced, highly photo-shopped images of beauty paraded with little disruption in today’s Hip Hop scene.”
But as Parris notes, this admiration we have for Kiesha never really translates into actual concern for her well-being. In spite of all of her beauty and faithfulness, Kiesha spends a good portion of the film monitoring the whereabouts of her philandering and ephebophile boyfriend, Tommy. She also physically fights and is brutalized by a home intruder who is after her boyfriend. And finally, she defends herself against the FBI after Tommy locks her up in jail for refusing to snitch on her boyfriend who has now flown the coup.
As Parris notes about this twisted admiration we have for Kiesha:
Absent are the images of her fighting for her life, in the moment left to pay for the decisions made by her lover. What happened to Keisha? What happens to a woman who is repeatedly betrayed, abandoned, incarcerated and assaulted? What happens to a woman who puts her lover at the center of her world when that lover leaves? What happens to a woman who does not have homegirls or support systems that can build her up when the world tries to break her down? What happens to a woman who loves someone that is targeted by the state and in turn becomes the state’s target? What happens to a woman who has learned how to fight for someone else but has no one to fight for her?
You can almost say the same thing about Kardashian.
The most interesting aspect of her toxic relationship to Odom is how well-received it has been by the mainstream. Unlike the lottery winner who was vilified and dragged throughout social media for spending her money bailing her drug-dealing boyfriend out of prison, Kardashian is painted almost angelically for going back and helping Odom on his road to recovery. Of course, some have speculated that her sudden benevolence is all for the sake of money and possibly ratings.
While that might be true, nowhere in any of this criticism is there any concern about the actual prudence of being devoted to a man who is troubled, and as a result of his troubles, does her harm.
And this is not to say that I think we should go around belittling women who opt to ride hard for their relationships. And while I truly believe Kardashian is setting herself up for a world of hurt, the truth is she is much more protected (emotionally, financially and spiritually) than the average Kiesha would be in similar circumstances. But I do think the Kardashian’s public relations machine and the media are both masking some pretty regressive values and ideas around this idea that love conquers all.
And I also feel like we should be conscious of the narrative that continue to tell women that the only way to be a good woman in a relationship, as well as in life, is to be a dedicated dumping ground for a man’s wayward seeds, sins and lack of self-esteem.
After all, what could she have seen in Odom in this latest incident, which led her to believe him to be a better man? And no, almost dying doesn’t count.
I wish both Odom and Kardashian well. But I do believe that his demons are deeper than his drug addiction. And truthfully, so are hers.
Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom have apparently determined that their marriage is worth saving because they’ve called off their divorce.
According to TMZ, Kardashian’s attorney, Laura Wasser, appeared in court Wednesday and asked the judge to withdraw their signed divorce papers. The papers were just sitting in a pile waiting to be reviewed and processed. Lamar and Khloe reportedly signed the withdrawal request from his hospital room.
Wasser’s request was granted, and now the divorce is off. As previously reported, Kardashian filed to end her marriage in December of 2013.
According to reports, the reality star has been by Odom’s side since he was hospitalized after being found unresponsive last week.
While most folks probably aren’t here for this reunion, deep down inside, I’m hoping that these two will be able to do what it takes to make their marriage work.
Lamar Odom is showing signs of improvement after he was found responsive earlier this week. According to USA Today, the former NBA star opened his eyes Friday while in the intensive care unit at Sunrise Hospital in Las Vegas.
The person who spoke with the outlet opted to remain nameless due to the sensitive nature of the matter; however, they said that Odom’s eyes appeared to move in reaction to voices and other noises in his hospital room. According to reports, Odom’s heart also began showing signs of increased function.
The athlete’s two children, Lamar Jr. and Destiny Odom, released a statement to CNN earlier today regarding their father’s unfortunate hospitalization.
“Thanks for your outpouring of prayers and support for our dad. We are here with our family and friends. We appreciate everyone respecting our privacy at this time. We ask for your continued prayers.”
We’re wishing Lamar a speedy recovery.
I personally know what it is like to stand over the comatose or deceased body of a loved one that has experienced tremendous pain and suffering over the course of their lifetime. I buried my mother over two years ago at the age 44, and my grandmother six years ago at the age of 55. Both of these individuals died young from cardiac arrest. They also had similar addiction issues in addition to experiencing poverty, trauma, and mental illness in America.
When I awoke this morning to the news about Lamar Odom, I was deeply impacted by his condition and utterly disgusted by the media coverage.
Piers Morgan, TMZ, and others, shaming and blaming the Kardashian family for this tragedy is not only immoral, but ignorant, especially in the wake of Mental Health Awareness Month and an America that is on the edge of a mental illness epidemic, if we are not already there.
Per Nami, The National Alliance on Mental Illness, nearly 44 million American adults experience mental illness in a given year, and 8.4 million adults have co-occurring mental illness and addiction disorders. Sixty percent of these adults go without treatment, and African Americans and Latinos use treatment services at half the rate of white Americans. These serious mental illness issues cost the United States about $193 billion per year.
Piers Morgan was right to highlight the tragedies faced by Lamar Odom over the course of his lifetime: “It’s not been an easy life for Lamar. His mother died when he was 12, his father was a heroin addict, and he lost a six-month-old child to sudden death syndrome. But many others have survived similarly catastrophic blows and emerged stronger and better from the emotional wreckage. Though they did not marry a Kardashian.”
Where his analysis takes a wrong turn is in his assumption that Lamar Odom, a Black man from South Jamaica, New York, and a superstar basketball player, knows how to handle grief management. Lamar’s addiction history alone signals otherwise.
The statistics show that African Americans are less likely to seek counseling services in time of need. For example, my mother suffered from schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder her entire life. However, it was not until her own copping mechanisms, the use of narcotics, were unmanageable that she sought psychiatric care. Like Lamar Odom, my mother experienced unaddressed traumatic events during her childhood: parental neglect, alcoholism in the home, sexual abuse and mental instability.
When I was born, I thought that my mother chose to be a drug addict. No one in my family discussed the underlying issues. This created an unclear narrative about the causes of addiction and dysfunction within our family.
I can imagine that Lamar Odom losing his mother at the age of 12, not having another responsible parent to help him cope, and immersing himself into basketball to deal with it all created a foundation of emotional instability. They say money and fame only enhance your issues, and the tragic death of his infant child possibly triggered it all.
Enter Khloe Kardashian…
It amazes me how people call the Kardashians fake. Every time I turn on the show, I see someone crying and complaining. I love this because I was raised in a household where I was told not to cry. All my life, trauma and addiction, and people pretending they did not exist overwhelmed me.
I finally decided I had enough after my younger brother was shot and comatose for two months. First, I spiraled out of control with alcohol, sex, and work addiction. When that did not help, I went to church and eventually grief counseling. My family’s drama and my own process of healing inspired my inspirational platform, The Clarissa Joan Experience. I am pleased to say I live a very healthy, happy, and emotional life, but this was not an easy process.
When Piers Morgan says lightly, “many others have survived similarly catastrophic blows and emerged stronger and better from the emotional wreckage,” it pisses me off! I worked really hard to develop a stable emotional life. Trauma and grief management are not easy feats. I think it’s time for us to wake-up to the seriousness of unhappiness and pain in America, or else we will continue to lose loved ones and great talents before their time.
Lamar Odom’s downfall didn’t have to happen. I pray for his recovery. Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, your deceased family members and mine, they did not have to die.
Maybe we should all cry and complain a little more like the Kardashians, crying for help just might be the key to saving lives.
Clarissa Joan is a spiritual life coach and editor-in-chief of The Clarissa Joan Experience. She resides in Philadelphia, Pa with her Husband, their two girls, and a yorkie named Ace. Clarissa is also an expert in impact investing. She is the Communications Associate at Impact America Fund.
With one hand, I can count the number of episodes of Keeping Up With The Kardashians and any other spinoff show it has produced that I’ve seen.
While the family is a colorful bunch, I’ve never been a fan. Not for some of the more mean-spirited reasons others bring up, but because they don’t really do anything. And I can’t support that. But according to my friends who tune into the exploits of the K clan, the relationship of Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom was always a genuine and admirable one. And from what I could read in the news, it was a supportive one as well. When he felt overwhelmed by the reality TV spotlight, Khloe had no problem standing by him. They ditched their spinoff, Khloe and Lamar, and moved to Dallas to help Odom reboot his career. But when that stint fell apart, and he found himself bouncing from one NBA team to a Spanish league team and back, not only did Odom’s career take a hit but so did his life. His marriage. His sobriety. It was all bad from there, and he’s never been the same.
But is it fair to blame the Kardashians for that?
Odom was found unresponsive in a brothel in Crystal, Nevada yesterday. Ever since the news came out about it, folks have either been blaming the Kardashian family for his struggles, or focusing on what they’re doing as opposed to Odom’s condition. Need an example? Here’s one: “Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner ‘Dropped Everything to Comfort Devastated Khloe’ at Hospital with Lamar.”
He may as well have been an afterthought in that whole story.
Commenters on social media have said the Kardashians are the reason for his struggles. And in a piece for the Daily Mail titled, “Lamar Odom’s tragedy is that he just couldn’t keep up with the Kardashians,” Piers Morgan had this to say:
When Lamar Odom met Khloe Kardashian in 2009, he was an outstandingly good basketball player. I know, because I used to watch him at the LA Lakers performing wondrous feats with his great friend Kobe Bryant, helping them win back-to-back NBA championships in 2009 and 2010. He was focused, intense, combative and brilliant. The consummate professional.
Then he fell in love with a Kardashian and his life became public property.
Morgan went on to say that “those sucked into their crazy world need to be very, very careful it doesn’t also suck them down in the process.”
And there are aspects of Morgan’s argument that I can jibe with. Anyone can see that once he got mixed in with that family, his life went into a tailspin. But to me, that’s because he signed up for something that he wasn’t ready for, and that’s not to be a part of the Kardashian family, but to take on the attention that comes with being attached to them. He was concerned with that at a time when he should have focused on basketball. His two kids. Still, as a grown man, that’s the decision that he made. The same decision Scott Disick, an alcoholic, made. The same decision Kanye West, a narcissist who hasn’t been the same since losing someone who rooted more for him than even he could root for himself, made. The same decision a former Bruce Jenner, now a free Caitlyn, made a long time ago. And what do they all have in common? They’re broken individuals all dealing with past pain, loss, and dysfunction. And for a family filled with that, it only makes sense that they would all be attracted to the Kardashian women.
But not every person who tangles with that family is brought down by them. Think about it. Reggie Bush made it out okay. He jumped out of the tub before the water got too cold, and the attention surrounding his relationship became too much. And while he clearly still has a physical attraction to women who look like Kim Kardashian, he’s managed to get married, have two children, and continue to thrive in the NFL.
Kris Humphries, though embarrassed as all hell by a 72-day marriage, is doing just fine as well. He’s still the butt of some jokes for his time with Kim, but he’s back to being focused on his career, playing for the successful Washington Wizards, making $4 million a year.
Hell, even French Montana knew when to get out of dodge. He wanted that notoriety. He did, for a time, try to keep up with the Kardashians. Buying Khloe Jeeps when she already had Benz trucks and Bentley coupes. Eventually, he realized he couldn’t hang, and now he’s rumored to be getting cozy with Sanaa Lathan. I would say he’s doing damn good considering how gorgeous Lathan is.
But Odom couldn’t make it out okay because he’s been struggling with demons. Beasts that were within him years before he even encountered Khloe.
His family has a history of drug addiction, as his father was MIA due to a dependence on heroin. His mother died when he was but a young kid after a fight with colon cancer. He lost his 6-month-old son in 2006 from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDs). His 24-year-old cousin was murdered in 2012, and Odom rode passenger in a car that hit a motorcyclist who ended up dying that same year. And let’s not forget that two of his good friends died a few months back from drug overdoses. All of these, he’s admitted, have affected him.
He’s lost a lot. He’s dealt with a lot. He overcame a lot. But at the end of the day, he didn’t move past the pain. So as a hurt man, it was inevitable that such struggled paired with public scrutiny, not only of his private life but also of his career as a basketball player, would break him down.
What I’m trying to say is that it’s never been about Khloe or the Kardashians. And it’s damn sure not about them and doesn’t need to be about them now that he’s fighting for his life. This is and has always been about Lamar Odom.
He’s a fragile person, who like many individuals who’ve grown up in hard circumstances, tried to put on a good face and grab life by the horns. But life can be incredibly cruel.
That’s why he turned to drugs. That’s why he turned to prostitutes in a brothel. That’s why he turned in general. Lamar Odom is where he is now because life dealt him a bad hand. A hand that left him languishing in Dallas after the team and other family he thought he could count on, the Lakers, traded him unexpectedly (and floundered without him). A hand that left him defiant when the wife he forgot about while he was making videos confessing to extramarital affairs while drunk decided she wanted him to sign divorce papers. A hand that left him with a father who jumped in and out of his life and spent more time talking crazy to the media than he did being a force of love and empowerment in Lamar’s life.
This is about Lamar Odom. The choices he made, and the circumstances he’s had to try and come out from under. And I don’t say all this to defend the Kardashians. Forget them. I say all this because, again, folks are focused on the wrong things. I say all this because I feel that less time should be spent spewing negativity at that family while making this man’s highest and lowest (and every) moments about them. Instead, save your breath and use it to pray for a man and the children he has who are really in dire straits right now. That’s the family we all need to be worried about.
Tuesday, former NBA star Lamar Odom was rushed to a Nevada hospital after he was discovered unresponsive in in the VIP suite of a popular brothel. According to NBC News, he was discovered at approximately 6:30 p.m. ET.
Love Ranch owner, Dennis Hof, told reporters that Odom had been taking “herbal Viagra,” but no illegal substances were discovered in his room.
“We called 911, and the 911 told my staff what to do: turn him over on his left side,” Hof said. “There was this terrible foaming stuff coming out of him. He was throwing up, a little bit of blood.”
Odom was rushed to Desert View Hospital and was later transported by ambulance to Sunrise Hospital in Las Vegas. Specifics surrounding the incident and Odom’s current condition are unclear at this time. Los Angeles Daily News reporter Mark Medina reports that Odom’s former teammate Kobe Bryant left the arena after Tuesday evening’s Lakers game to be with the troubled ex-athlete.
Kobe Bryant left the arena, Lakers cited personal reasons
— Mark Medina (@MarkG_Medina) October 14, 2015
Crazy night. I'm told Lakers had 2 hour delay on their flight amid Lamar Odom's situation. Kobe and Mitch among those who visited him
— Mark Medina (@MarkG_Medina) October 14, 2015
Hopefully, Lamar pulls through.
Less than two weeks after the death Lamar Odom’s high school pal, Jamie Sangouthai, the former Clippers forward is facing another devastating loss.
According to Us Weekly, Bobby Heyward, 30, died Saturday from a suspected drug overdose. Heyward, who worked as a producer and writer, was a friend Odom and Sangouthai, who also died from drug-related complications.
Eerily, Heyward had just taken to Instagram with a tribute to Sangouthai days before his untimely death, writing:
#RIP To my big brother Jamie who always brought light into any room he walked into and laughter as well at all times J you will always be missed. Family for life. #BandOfBrothers #tbt
While the Los Angeles County Coroner’s Office did confirm Heyward’s passing, they did not reveal his cause of death.
Sangouthai died as a result of a bacterial skin infection known as fasciitis, which is caused by IV drug abuse.
One thing’s for sure, reality TV weddings aren’t the same as televised royal weddings, but these weddings are just as entertaining (if not more). Reality weddings are usually filled with much drama before walking down the aisle and many of them have been ratings gold, which means it makes sense for Kandi Burruss and Todd Tucker to be the next reality stars to showcase their wedding on the small screen. And we’re sure Mama Joyce will keep fans entertained about her thoughts on the weddings — going back and forth from she’s not going to say anything and hopes she’s wrong to she knows her daughter is making a big mistake and she’ll regret it. Oh brother! But Burruss and Tucker’s big day (and the drama leading up to it) hasn’t been experienced by just them.
Here are 15 other major reality TV weddings filled with tears, love, romance, hilarity and much drama.
Khloe Kardashian ended 2013 by filing for divorce from her husband of four years, Lamar Odom, after countless rumors of substance abuse and cheating. Lamar, however, is still keeping hope alive for a reunion with his estranged wife.
“I want to make it work with Khloe,” the former Clippers player told InTouch Weekly.
It appears that he has already taken steps to make this happen. According to Lamar, he has plans to see the “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” star very soon.
“I’m going to see Khloe,” he added. “I’m going to see her soon.”
But before their big reunion can take place, Lamar has to recover from an injury that he suffered while playing overseas in Spain.
“I’m focusing on getting better,” he finally concluded.
Interestingly, it appears that his attempts to get his wife back may actually be working. Sources close to the family claim that Khloe is willing to give her marriage another shot—despite being advised not to by worried friends and family members.
“He confessed his feelings and cried his heart out to her on the phone,” insider said of a mid-March phone conversation. “She’d been avoiding his texts and calls for weeks, but when she heard him pleading with her to take him back, she melted.”
I suppose only time will tell if his attempts to get Khloe back are actually working.
Would you like to see Khloe and Lamar back together?