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I can remember so vividly being about four or five years old and having a favorite cousin, Shaniqua (Yes, I have a cousin named Shaniqua). Oh, how I loved Shaniqua. I followed her everywhere! Everything that she did, I did. If she laughed a certain way, I laughed that certain way. When she came home from kindergarten learning to read, I was determined to learn how to read, too. I used to be thrilled on holidays like Easter Sunday and Mother’s Day when our grandmother would go out and buy us matching dresses for church. I mean, I wanted to be just like her when I “grew up,” which was ridiculously hilarious and ironic because we were only two years apart. As time progressed, I matured and developed my own identity.

While the whole copycat syndrome is very natural and normal among small children as they begin to develop their own identities, what I find disturbing is how prevalent it is among adults. There is a shockingly large amount of grown women who must have never properly transitioned from the whole copycat phase as children and are still walking around imitating one another to this day. Yes, they do exist and you probably know a few of them personally. You know the ones who you hate to go shopping with because the entire time that you are browsing the store they’re behind you picking up, examining, and purchasing everything you pick up in the store? Yeah, them. They have to get some kind of variation of what you picked up, don’t they? Or, how about the ones who have no shame and will show up to work with the same exact dress or shoes you wore last week?

Having a copycat can be flattering and even somewhat amusing, at first. However, after awhile, it becomes outright annoying. I mean honestly, what normally adjusted woman imitates another woman constantly? There has to be some sort of imbalance there. I used to think that the only real issue with having a copycat was the fact that it was annoying, however, I am beginning to feel a little differently about that. If you can’t even trust her enough to discuss future plans out of fear that she may run out and go do it first, you probably don’t need her around. What is the point in having a “friend” around who is constantly studying and looking to imitate you? After awhile you begin to question why. Is she looking to replace you? Does she want want your life? Something about that situation is plain old wrong and a bit creepy. While there is no way that she can replace you in the eyes of the people in your life because you are one of a kind, she can certainly try, which could potentially cause unnecessary heartache and grief for you if she is ruthless enough. But, then the question arises, how do you handle such a childish situation like an adult? You can’t deal with it as you would in preschool by pushing her and yelling “Stop doing everything that I do!” or you will look just as crazy as she does.

I remember my mom lecturing me about a copycat I once had, whom she’d nicknamed  “Single Black Female.” In the process she said to me, “If someone wants to try to emulate you, you can’t really stop them, but you’d be a fool to sit around and pass them the playbook.”  What she meant by that is you can’t control someone else’s actions, but you can control the access and insight that you grant them into your life. Feed her with a long-handled spoon. In simple terms, put some distance there. If you value this woman as a friend, don’t go starting a fight, just gracefully and gradually back off. If she’s someone new working your last nerve, keep her at an arm’s length or move on entirely. In due time you’ll turn around and she’ll be off imitating someone else.

More on Madame Noire!

• Where Are They Now? Kids From a Few of Our Favorite Black TV Shows
• Jealous? Why You Should Be At Peace With Yourself Before Entering A Relationship
• Build-Up Ain’t Cute: 5 Things You Should Know About Dandruff
• Celibacy Is The New Black: 8 Celebs Who Publicly Swore Off Sex
• Against The Odds: How This Orphan From Sierra Leone Became A Famous Ballerina
• MN Exclusive: Kesha Nichols Dishes on Tami’s Apology, Dating a Show Producer, and How Editing Works on Reality TV
• Where Are They Now? Kids From a Few of Our Favorite Black TV Shows

www.liberettemag.com

Is being confident relevant to one’s existence? Does it make a difference in having low or high self-esteem? What exactly is self-esteem? Self-esteem is the realistic respect, or favorable impression a person has of themselves. It is who one believes they are, believing in their abilities, or the lack thereof. It is also who one believes they can be or desire to be. Self-esteem or the lack of comes from within and is revealed in the way a person walks, talks, their style of dress, the way they interact with others, etc.

A person’s self-esteem is a key part in who they are, who they will become, and what they will do. It starts developing as a child, and continues to develop as an adult. The relationships we encounter, the people we surround ourselves with, our parents, community, etc. all play an intricate part in the initial development of self-esteem.

It’s day two of Black History Month and if you’re looking for a way to expand your mind about the people in our history who helped shape the way we live, the way we dance, the way we do our hair (yes, that too), I would recommend doing the easiest and most fun form of research–watch a movie! But not just any ‘ol movie or random attempt at recreating black history. We’re talking documentaries! They keep it real. Literally. If you need help finding a few to pick up from Netflix or to watch online, and can’t sit through 14 hour-long parts of Eyes on the Prize, we’ve got you covered. Happy Black History Month!

I’ve never been a fan of Gabrielle Union, but I’m really starting to like the actress more and more.

On Twitter she dropped some knowledge on parenting and education yesterday that’s not typical of her Hollywood peers. Here’s what she tweeted:

“When a parent can tell me their childs fave basketball player/rapper/actor but doesn’t know the name of their kids teacher #RAGE.”

“Great ur kid wants to model…but is she a MODEL STUDENT?! We’ve gotta get serious about education! #RAGE.”

“You can’t blame the kids if the adults are the ones distracted from what’s truly important…education is key!”

“It takes a village…even if u don’t have kids or urs are grown, sometimes its just a word, gesture, lil effort 2 show kids the way #education.”

“Looks fade, money runs dry, fame leaves, entourage moves on 2 stuck some1 else dry…Education is forever.”

Of course people threw a few speculative responses at her, but she handled them well, letting the twitterverse know, number one, she was the one tweeting: “What assistant?! I do things 4 myself darlin.”

And number two, she has the credentials to back up her rant: “Sociology degree from UCLA paid 4 w/ student loans & job at the book store.”

I also love that she shut down rumors that she paid for D Wade’s lavish 30th birthday party last week:

I WAS NOT responsible 4 the car or party, I’m on a blk actress budget! #education

I never thought I’d say this, but I actually wouldn’t mind seeing more of her now. These are the type of actresses that need publicity.

Are you a fan of Gabrielle Union? What do you think about what she had to say about parenting and education?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

More on Madame Noire!

• For the Cool in You: Classic & Kooky Leather Jackets You’ll Love
• Terribly Tatted Up: When Celebrities Get Ratchet Tattoos for the Ones They Love
• Style Icon: Tina Turner
• Stereotypes That Black People Uphold
• We Are Family: Shocking Celebrity Relatives!
• Let’s Be Real: Things in Life You Need to Blame Yourself For From Time to Time
• Are You A Socially Awkward Black Girl?

About The Episode

For “Weave Wisdom”, our mini-series on how to install and maintain a fabulous hair weave, we tapped the award-winning hair stylist Anthony Cherry to host. In this second installment of our series, Cherry finishes the installment of a hair weave on a client, demonstrating the proper use of a mesh cap in the weaving process and  discusses “adjustment rows” to keep your weave looking tight.

Check it out and let us know what you think!

About Anthony Cherry

You only need to look at Anthony Cherry’s celebrity client list to understand just how good he is at his craft. Having worked with with the likes of Lala Vasquez-Anthony, Evelyn Lozada, Claudia Jordan and Paris Hilton, the St. Louis-bred, Los Angeles-based stylist has been working his hair magic for over 10 years. Along with his celebrity weave styling duties, Cherry also works as an ambassador to the packaged hair company, Sensasionell.

Want more Madame Noire Hair Videos….check out links below:

NATURAL HAIR

• Noire Naturals – The Natural Twist Out
• Noire Naturals – Maintaining Your Twist-Out Style
• Noire Naturals – Creating A Sophisticated Elegance
• Noire Naturals – Accessorizing a Sophisticated Updo

RELAXED HAIR

• Relaxed & Real – From Daytime To Evening
• Relaxed & Real – How To Prep Your Hair Before A Relaxer
• Relaxed & Real – Protective Styles For Working Out

WEAVES

• Weave Wisdom – How To Prepare For A Good Weave
• Weave Wisdom – How To Install A Hair Weave
• Weave Wisdom – How To Maintain A Hair Weave

Transcript

Hello, Madame Noire. I am celebrity hairstylist, Anthony Cherry and I’m back for part two of our Weave Wisdom series. If you missed part one, I talked about a few things that you might need before installing a weave, such as straightening the hair before braiding, and using products to make sure the hair is not dry.

In this episode, I’m going to focus on installing the weave, and of course, let you in on a few of my secrets. Let’s get started by emphasizing the importance of using a net. Here are three reasons why a net is definitely essential. Number one: A net is used to make a weave last longer, as well as give a full coverage to place extensions anywhere you want to.

Number two: A net protects your hair by relieving tension. Finally, it helps achieve our main goal, which is to make a weave flatter. So now we’re going to apply the Mesh-Net cap. Model, can I get your particular Patient please. One finger like a hook please. Right there. Okay. We’ll take this. Have him grab that.

A little pressure. And it goes right over the head. Head back a little bit. Just bring it from above the eye, move this out of your way. And there we go. The next step is actually sewing the net down. Okay. We have a needle, which is very, very imperative to doing any weave. So I’ve already pre-threaded my strands and my needles.

I actually like my needles very long ’cause the longer I can make my thread, the longer I can keep on sewing. So what I’m gonna do, I would like to start first right on the inside, not the outside, the inside because I wanna cut along this way to leave that braid nice and free. I want to actually start on the inside of the braid.

Sometime if you go and you start sewing on the outside of the braid, sometime you create a little bit too much clumpiness, so we don’t wanna do that ’cause that will stop your weave of having the flow of being tucked directly up under. So, you just basically sew on the perimeter. And I never really create knots.

What I do, I just sew, I tuck, hold this under, this out and create like a little line that goes in. And I’ll do that all the way around the perimeter. But you can move very fastly. It doesn’t have to be totally perfect because you’re going actually go back and reinforce it. Once you start to actually putting the extension hair on.

Okay, so now we have the top, that is out. By this being mesh, it stretches. So what I’m going to do now, I’m going to connect the hole that is at the top of the mesh. And by it being mesh, it’s going to be very, very easy to grab and come back without causing extra stress. And we have created a full surface to where now you have the freedom to sew whatever you like.

So, I’m going to show you how to cut it off. Any excess strand or thread, just go right around, just nip them and cut them. How I like to do this; be very, very careful, not to cut your client or to cut their hair. So you want to lift this up. In one snap, see it’ll break away. Lift it up, then we can see exactly where the thread is, so we don’t have to cut the thread or the hair.

Lift up. And there you have it. The net is applied. And now we’re going to move on to the next step and that’s actually applying the extensions. We are beginning the method to the madness. We’re going from one extreme to another. Okay. By using our extensions, becoming “unbeweavable”, might I say.

Okay, so what I am going to do, I’m going to start to sew the weave and extensions on to the track. Okay. What you would like to do, is to actually get the track right up in here. Sometimes you can actually start to track up this far. But then sometimes when you start that far, you see how that projects and jumps out, we don’t like that.

We’re going to take this and pull it down to where we see where it falls, nice and natural. Where it can come down. So, we’re going to start just about right here, to sewing it on. We’re going to take this, tuck this under, and we want to get like, to balance it out, it should be like that on both sides, you want to take this, get the duck bill, and that’s lit up in there.

And cut this to about right there. Take this bad boy. Sit that there. Grab your pre-threaded needles. Which I actually like to use the nylon thread. Because the nylon thread is amazing. It’s slim, it’s fitting and it doesn’t get clogged up. Because you don’t want to get clogged up doing your sewing process because it will slow you down and cause a little bit of frustration.

Okay. So what I’m going to do. I’m gonna tuck this track right under the braid, okay? And what I’m going to do, I’m going to go to the bottom of the outside of the braid, okay? Take this, tuck that under, I created a little loop in the bottom of it and you just pull. And you pull. And you pull until you know that that is nice and tight, and you can see where your braid is being tucked under, by the pulling of the thread.

You should have that singed or that sits there for a second. You go back again to reinforce it, step away from it. Pull, give yourself a little bit of room to work with. Okay.

We’re going to do this again. Now that we have sewn in all of the hair. On the next and final episode, I will give you a few tips on how to style and properly maintain your weave. Well that’s it for today. Make sure you tune in to the next episode, to learn how to maintain your hair, and make all the hard work worthwhile.

If you have any questions for me, contact me @AnthonyCherry on Twitter. And if you want to see more videos like this one, please log on to madamenoire.com and follow them on twitter @madamenoire.

(Inc) — Running a small business is no small task and though it is associated with great freedom, any business owner will tell you that there is also a burden to carry—a burden that has to do with taking care of your family and your investors, of serving your customers and employees, and most of all, of living up to your own goals and ideals. To help you find success as an entrepreneur, we’ve compiled this list of 15 things (some obvious, though easy to overlook, and others less obvious) that you must keep in mind.

Read More…

(Inc) — Running a small business is no small task and though it is associated with great freedom, any business owner will tell you that there is also a burden to carry—a burden that has to do with taking care of your family and your investors, of serving your customers and employees, and most of all, of living up to your own goals and ideals. To help you find success as an entrepreneur, we’ve compiled this list of 15 things (some obvious, though easy to overlook, and others less obvious) that you must keep in mind.

Read More…