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There will always be debates on how to show a man you’re worthy of him keeping you around by doing certain things. I’m not too sure what works and what doesn’t work in terms of making a man stick around and showing him you’re not just wifey material but should be his wife. What I do know is,  you should’t knock it until you try it and do what you feel is appropriate because every man– and woman — is different. Check out some of the most notable “make him keep you” advice around. What’s worked for you and what hasn’t?

We love it when randomness like this pops up in our inbox.

Just as we’re trying to fully recover from the fact that Karlie Redd allowed herself to be physically touched by the likes of Benzino, rumor has it he’s been putting his thin puckers all over a new woman — Claudia Jordan.

Actually, it’s not a rumor because the proof is in the pic. What’s not so clear is whether this is promo or grown people play play. See, our first inclination is to say this is for a music video of some sort but when we think about Benzino’s relevance to the music industry and the decades that have passed since he’s released music anyone was checking for, the probability seems kind of low. Then again, stranger things — like his ex-girl Karlie Redd dropping a song — have happened so maybe that’s all this is. Or Claudia Jordan could be making her way to the next season of “Love & Hip-Hop Atlanta” and this is a part of Benzino’s storyline. Or the star of Tiny Tonight could just be trying to see what that be like…why we can’t possibly say.

Anywho, caption this pic and tell us what you think is going on between these assumed budding love birds. And check out a few more pics on the next pages.

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Have you ever had a thought that was so troubling, you never really gave it a chance to manifest in your mind? You just pushed it to the back burner because it was too much to deal with. And your little plan to ignore this thought was working until someone said the very thing you didn’t want to think about.

This happened to me a couple of years ago when I was at my Aunt’s house for Thanksgiving. We were all sitting around having dinner when the standard questions of boyfriends came up. It was myself, my female cousin and my sister and my aunt went around the table asking each of us if we had one. We gave our answers. Maybe because we were all in various stages of unattachment at the time, my aunt took that as a sign to transition into the also standard, “these men are no good” speech. She spouted off a couple of cliches about how scandalous they are, how they generally can’t be trusted and what not. And then she said it, “And the way everybody is licking everybody else these days, I wouldn’t even kiss them. I’d be tasting another woman! 

NOOoooo! That was it. That was the thought I’d repeatedly pushed to the back of my mind. I didn’t want to have to deal with the thought of second-hand kissing another woman’s poon. Jesus Christ. But now it was on the table. We all groaned in disgust and settled in for the discussion. That thought and subsequent conversation forced me to ask myself how close had I been to other women through a carpet munching man?

Admittedly, I’ve kissed men without establishing exclusivity first, it could have easily happened… like every time. The thought still makes me shudder. My lip is literally on curl as I type this. But the truth is, I kinda want/need to kiss a man before I establish exclusivity. I’ve been into men and then the first kiss proved that there was no way in hell it was ever going to work. I wouldn’t want to bypass that crucial step.

I remember in high school, I was eavesdropping on someone’s conversation as this girl passed around a picture of herself kissing her boyfriend. When her friend looked at the picture, she noted that the girl’s eyes weren’t all the way closed. She said, “My grandmother always told me if you don’t kiss him with your eyes closed, that means you don’t trust him.” I’ll never forget that little nugget. It was so interesting to me. I would later discover that personally, I prefer kissing with my eyes open. Not because I’ve never trusted the men I’ve kissed, but because I like watching their reactions. I’m nosey and maybe I don’t want to relinquish all control. (Sounds kinda like trust issues…but whatever.) We were having a conversation to this affect at work one day, when one of my coworkers said in response, “Well, if you can’t surrender, then you shouldn’t be kissing him in the first place.” Goodness! The list of eligible men to kiss was getting smaller and smaller everyday!

I have to trust him. We have to be exclusive. Both of our eyes have to be closed.

Do you know how long it takes to really trust a man? Some would say years. Realistically, the number of men who would wait years to kiss a woman they’re dating is slim, very slim. Unless he was one of those people who didn’t believe in kissing until marriage, I’m sure he would take it as an indication you didn’t like him at all and would move on.

So, in addition to providing yet another reason why dating sucks…balls, I’ve also posed this question: When should you kiss a man? When you know he’s not licking anyone else’s snatch? When you trust him? When you can keep your eyes closed? Inquiring minds want to know. And when you leave your ideal answer, also be sure to tell us whether you’ve always followed that “rule” in your dating life.

Look at all that juiciness!

We skipped out on Sunday night’s episode of the “Real Housewives of Atlanta” but we did not miss this major tonsil wrestling, saliva swapping, lip swallowing kiss between the ultimate southern belle Phaedra Parks and her husband Apollo. We can’t tell you what prompted all the gum bumping in this pic, but we would love to hear your take on what was said to bring this type of tongue about — not to mention what was said after but we bet it was on and popping when they got home. Looking at this pic, I don’t think anyone is confused as to how Miss Phaedra and her honeypott became pregnant. Get it girl!

Kissing can be one of the most romantic forms of physical intimacy that can be shared between a couple. There are those Hollywood love story kind of kisses than can take your breath away and leave you with butterflies. There are those cute little smooches that are snuck in during public outings or those extremely passionate kisses that leave you wanting more. Oh, but there is another side to kissing that doesn’t seem to be discussed often enough. Those kisses that have you praying that they’ll quickly end and praying that they never happen again! We know you know the types of kisses we’re talking about. Check out this list of kisses that are everything but romantic.

Source: Shutterstock

Do you remember your first kiss?

I received my first peck when I was four years old. I was hiding in the closet with a neighbor during a game of hide-and-go-seek when he planted his ashy-lips on mine. It was our little secret and also my first and last kiss for the next six years. When I was ten, I kissed another boy (his lips were freshly chapsticked) during a game of “Truth or Dare” at our karate school lock-in after someone dared him to kiss me. We were “boyfriend and girlfriend” at the time, so he gave me a quick peck and everyone squealed.

When you’re young, kissing is such a big deal. I remember hearing (and ignoring) warnings that girls shouldn’t kiss a guy on the first date. That advice is now “don’t have sex on the first date”, but still, kissing plays a significant role in a new relationship. A bad smooch can even be a deal breaker.

What about down the line in a relationship though? I wonder, do people still passionately kiss even when they’ve been together for a while? Does kissing too often go on the backburner in marriage or even long-term dating relationships?

Last year, the Huffington Post published the results of a survey that found married couples kiss less than once a week.

“Nearly one in five married couples go without kissing for as long as one week at a time. And when they do finally lock lips, it will last no longer than five seconds for 40 percent of them.”

It sounds like these researchers found the root of a sexless marriage – or sexless cohabitation. If a couple isn’t even taking the time to kiss, then it’s fair to assume they aren’t making time for much else either. Jill Blakeway, author of the forthcoming book Sex Again: Recharging Your Libido, told the Huffington Post:

“Kissing can be “more intimate than having sex” but is one of the first things to go in a long-term or sexless marriage.  When kissing falls by the wayside, it’s the first step to losing passion in a relationship. “

Sheila Gray, author of Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex says kissing helps a marriage and Jill Blakeway agrees telling HuffPo.

“Kissing is one of the first ways we connect sexually. And then over time it goes down. But there are some physical things that make kissing important. It decreases the level of cortisol, which is a stress hormone and it increases oxytocin, which is a bonding hormone. And that’s why, chemically speaking, kissing makes people more relaxed and builds connection. Chinese medicine says that the mouth and the tongue have a connection to the heart. So it’s the same idea. Kissing attaches people to each other.”

Apparently, kissing relieves stress and makes a couple closer. That sounds like a good reason to bring kissing back to a relationship where the frequency has fallen off, but how often should we kiss our mates? In her 29 Days to Great Sex blog, Sheila Gray advises couples to kiss for at least fifteen seconds each day. That seems short, but it’s longer than a quick peck and once you get into it, you likely won’t stop at exactly fifteen seconds.

Of course kissing doesn’t have to lead to sex. Personally, I find stand-alone kissing to be romantic. In fact, I have always wanted to re-enact that “Love Jones” scene with Darius and Nina kissing in the rain. Also, the scene in “The Notebook” when Noah says to Allie “It wasn’t over. It still isn’t over!” and Allie jumps into Noah’s arms and they’re kissing in the rain. Can’t forget that scene in Spiderman when Mary Jane is kissing him upside down…in the rain. (Clearly, I like the idea of locking lips in a downpour though my hair would never allow that type of spontaneity.) These movies all portray a fairly new relationship, but even if you’re in a long-term relationship you still may want to make time for kissing.

Hey, if the President of the United States has time to lay one on his wife, then what’s our excuse?

What do you think? Do you think kissing goes on the backburner when you’ve been in a relationship for a while?

Follow Alissa on Twitter @AlissaInPink

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

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I guess love was in the Los Angeles air pretty strongly for Valentine’s Day yesterday because it was enough to bring Kobe and Vanessa Bryant back together.

I’m pretty sure every fan’s jaw dropped when Vanessa marched into the Staple’s Center for the first time this season during the third quarter of last night’s game and took a seat right behind the Laker’s bench—wearing a red top and showing a lot of cleavage nonetheless. The two didn’t leave any thoughts of reconciliation up to speculation, Vanessa was cheering her assumed soon-to-be ex on hardcore an after the game, Vanessa and Kobe were seen sharing a serious kiss before he even got a chance to shower.

Either Kobe’s trying to get a house and some of that $75 mil back, or these two are really giving their relationship another try. Since the divorce won’t be final until mid-June, they’ve definitely got time to put this whole thing behind them. The question is, should they?

Are you surprised Vanessa was at Kobe’s game last night? Do you think it was just a Valentine’s Day rendezvous or could they be getting back together?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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All work and no play isn’t a phrase that describes Zoe Saldana and Bradley Cooper’s rumored relationship. This weekend the two attended a cocktail party for their film, “The Words,” at the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, UT, and the pair seemed to be entertaining each other more than the guests.

“They were kissing in front of the fire and being very affectionate,” an onlooker told PEOPLE, while a source also said, “They are definitely very together.”

Another observer at the party said that the pair was caught in an intense conversation and was giggling, with Zoe being touchy-feely. “They were like two seventh graders. The electricity was out of this world.”

Zoe and Brad also attended a private premiere dinner the night before the party where they were seen interacting and laughing casually with each other and the rest of the guests, so maybe the cocktails just got to the couple the next night, or the PR wheels are churning to get people in the theaters to see the chemistry between these two on screen.

What do you think? Can we officially call these two a couple now or is it just for show?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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You’re out on your very first date, things have gone famously. Now, it’s the end of the evening, he’s walked you to your door and now the moment we’ve all been waiting for…Should you kiss him? Is it a requirement to kiss after the first date? Who’s job is it to initiate said kiss?

See what psychologist Dr. Adam Sheck and author Julie Spira have to say about this common question over at Your Tango.com.

Do you kiss on the first date?

Which of these newcomers and veterans have the best lips in Hollywood?

You decide!

Read the rest of this entry »