All Articles Tagged "kids"
Vanessa Simmons was worried about telling Rev Run about her unplanned surprise, but all he did when he heard the news was get excited.
With 14 million single parents in the US, the stigma surrounding solo parenthood is officially old school. Besides, their are some great things that come out of single-parent households. Read on to find out 15 reasons why being a single parent can be pretty great — or at least not the end of the world should you find yourself in this situation.
Babysitters, nannies, wet Nurses, teachers, educators and au pairs have made a career out of dealing with other people’s children. They understand the nuances of a child’s speech and expressions. They know when treats, verbal rewards and stickers should be given, as well as harsh tones, time-outs and verbal warnings. They know how to manage children, regulating a child’s time so that they achieve the optimum amount of fun, education and discipline. But for the rest of us who aren’t in that field, or even some of us who are, dealing with other people’s children is not a well-timed production– it’s a damn nightmare. Some of us struggle with wanting to curse a child out or lay hands on him/her, especially when that child is mouthy or even a little too touchy-feely themselves.
Some people have BAD kids, and they know this before they leave their children with you. They give you a brief, false perception about how their child will behave, perhaps saying that said child “gets a little energetic around lunchtime” and then hurry to leave. And as soon as the door shuts, the child comes alive like a Chucky incarnate, hell-bent on destroying the house and wrecking your nerves.
In my life I’ve had to deal with hundreds of children: nieces, nephews, cousins, neighbors, and children I’ve worked with at camps, after-school programs and during tutoring. With all that said, I can still honestly say that I don’t completely know how to deal with some kids. Not even mentioning the countless children I’ve met with undiagnosed ADHD, Asperger’s, Dyslexia, OCD and other challenges, I’ve dealt with children who are so unbelievably difficult that it took me a great deal of time to understand what their issue was, let alone how to solve it. I once dealt with a child who would scream for an hour straight before I realized that he was an easily frustrated child who sometimes needed time away from others so he could write and process his feelings. I have also dealt with a child who would suddenly go limp and act helpless, for no apparent reason, doing this because he was seeking the attention that he wasn’t receiving at home.
Most children simply want people to listen to them, because they often feel that most adults only demand things and set rules in place. One good trick when dealing with some children is to give them options. If a child does not want to participate in an activity, simply give them a choice between doing said activity or sitting by themselves –or doing something less favorable. Also, try to have real conversations with them. Children respond well to being asked questions about their interests and opinions. And, it never hurts to find out things about what they are interested in so that you can talk those things over with them. You don’t know how many cool points I’ve received for knowing the names of all of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Also, if you’re punishing or reprimanding a child, explain to them why, restating their name throughout, so that you know that they are listening. Remind them of any rules set in place, why it’s important that they follow rules and listen, and ask them why they broke the rules.
Often, I speak to children about respect and responsibility. I explain that respect is about listening, and that if I respect them, then they need to respect me. That means that I expect them to listen to me, and if they don’t, then I won’t listen to them when they’re in need; for some children, that’s enough. Responsibility is explained by telling children that they have control over things that they say and do, and they can be responsible by practicing self-control. Also, I tell them that they show responsibility by keeping up with their things, and making sure never to bother other people’s things that don’t belong to them. The spiel about respect and responsibility is repeated so much that some of the students I work with know it by heart, and others groan in anticipation of it.
Essentially, knowing how to deal with some children is as simple as treating them like an employee (who can’t be fired). Give them instructions, assignments and tasks, but try not to be too upset when they make mistakes. If they behave well then they should be rewarded, and if they behave poorly then they should be reprimanded. Allow the child an opportunity to be creative whenever possible, and praise them when they’ve done something well. I find that when it comes to dealing with other people’s kids, treating them like more than just a child, or a bad child at that, goes a long way.
I’m sure there are a few women reading this right now thinking, “shoot I’ll have Tank’s baby,” but before you go too far, let’s examine the situation. Tank, one-third of the R&B supergroup TGT, is already the father of four children, Jordan, Ryen, Zoey, and Durrell Jr., reportedly by three different women. But that’s not stopping the musical crooner from going for more — six more in fact. In a recent interview with The Jasmine Brand, Tank told the site his dream is to have 10 bambinos, saying:
“We’ve got a couple, I guess. We’ve got three right now. I want to get married and do it the right way. Do it the right way, maybe have three more and after that three. I love kids, I think the generation is what’s most important. We’ve had our chance to make our choices and they need our lives in time to influence the next generation and give them the right understanding and pour the knowledge into them so that preferably, they can make this place a better place or survive in whatever this place is going to become.”
OK so maybe I was too hard on him. I guess you can’t be mad at a man wanting to “do it the right way” the fifth time around. We’re curious who the lucky woman would be though. Or thinking more like, what woman is trying to push out six babies? The 37-year-old isn’t getting any younger and unless he likes ‘em young he’s going to have to snatch up somebody soon if he’s trying to have his own little league team. Any takers?
Monster’s Ball. Precious. Do The Right Thing. Passion Of The Christ. For Colored Girls.
Last time we did a list on great movies you can only watch once, these were just a few of seven we picked. But we found that you, the readers, had a wealth of others you just had to recommend, and in all honesty, we agreed with most of them. That’s why we decided to make a second list with some new additions that were well done films, but only needed to be seen once. Whether it was because of the violence or the emotional rollercoaster they took people on, these movies got the point across, and let’s just say, we make a habit to pass them up in our Netflix recommendations…
Remember getting your hair braided before school? Or your first perm? What about running home before the street lights came on? We’ve got a list of things we remember from growing up as black girls. Add your favorite memory to the comments section.
Got Your Hair Braided
Most of us remember sitting between our mother’s/sister’s/cousin’s/auntie’s knees to get about a dozen braids before school. Reach your hand back there to count though and you might get popped.
I had a conversation with my mother the other day and she asked me if I was remotely close to being in a relationship that would lead towards marriage. I smiled, chuckled and told her that I feel like I’m on the cusp of knowing that it’s very likely the next woman I’m in a relationship with will be my wife. She had this look on her face that seemed as though she had reached a calm place. As a mother, she wants me to be happy but also she wants grandbabies.
I often talk to other men in my network about children: do we want them or are we in no rush because we think we’ll always be able to have kids? Then there’s the other side of the gender who has these biological clocks that change the conversation. They know that as they get older the chances of having children decreases and the chances of high-risk pregnancies increase. But the question is, do men share the same sentiments? Are we worried that if we don’t have children by a certain age we’ll be reduced to blue pills and expensive doctor’s visits?
The answer is no; we don’t think about it that way, but it doesn’t mean we don’t have an internal clock ticking every day. I was speaking to an old female friend of mine who I’ve known for more than ten years and I told her, “I need to find a wife pretty soon, I want babies!”
She looked at me and said, “Why do you want kids so bad?” My answer, “Because I want grandkids.” That’s when she told me that my desires were purely vain, and in a way she was correct. Men don’t have a biological clock that tells them that if they don’t have kids in the next couple years that they’ll lose the ability to have them later on in life. However, we do have a clock that tells us a few things about having children.
1) Men are obsessed with having someone in their likeness – It’s not about world denomination but it’s about the accomplishment that comes with, “I made that.” Men like to look in the eyes of a child and see themselves. Further on in that same conversation with my friend I admitted that, “I just want to have people in this world who look like me.”
2) Men are obsessed with fulfilling the dream of parenthood – Let’s just be honest, nobody wants to be raising a teenager in their fifties or forties. As a man, you imagine yourself throwing the football around with your son, or being that man who your daughter thinks is the strongest in the world.
3) Men have a very good idea that as a provider and protector, society is slipping – As the years go by, I’m more and more convinced that society is going to crap. I know that raising a child in today’s world would be much easier than in ten years. We think about all the things we did as children and we know that today’s times are even worse. While women, as nurturers, think about raising the child, men are obsessed with protecting the child. (The right type of men, that is.)
I’ll admit that while I don’t think it’s biological each year, “I’m too old for this” starts to encompass many things. I find the energy I had in my early twenties fleeting. In some ways, maybe that’s biological. In other ways, it’s timing and understanding that, as it pertains to my legacy, it’s important to get started soon.
As a Black man I need to say this, I do not desire a child before marriage. It may happen and we’ll deal with that in those circumstances, but I always respond to any criticisms about not having children with, “Would you rather a ring or a baby?” Therefore, I conclude that I’m more interested in finding the mother of my child than having my child. A woman might be more interested in having babies before her eggs “run dry.” (As if prenatal care in America hasn’t come a long way in the last 30 years, but I digress.) However, I’m thinking about marriage before children and because there is no biological clock associated with marriage, I can’t say I have one. That doesn’t mean that I don’t think about children and having them soon. Like many men, I can’t wait to put the basketball in the crib of my son or daughter.
Blu Ivy is one of the cutest babies in the world. And one of the luckiest. Because, talented as her daddy is, he’s no looker. And Blu Ivy’s not the only babe to get good looks despite the odds. We’ve got a list of some of the most surprisingly adorable offsprings in Hollywood.
Face it, we’re all kids at heart! If you catch yourself singing the theme song to Tinga Tinga Tales when your child is nowhere around, then you can appreciate the hearty laugh and storyline animated movies and cartoons provide. With kooky humor that we can relate to as adults, these films make it as easy for us to watch as our children. Plus we’re catapulted back into a carefree, whimsical world where giggles and knee-slapping ha-has are allowed, and nothing less – no stress, no worries. Let’s move it, move it to see which animated favorites we have in common.
What happens when four pampered wild animals from the New York Central Zoo escape? All chaos breaks loose, especially when they find themselves on the island of Madagascar in the mist of many crazy, dancing lemurs! Don’t forget about the Navy Seal penguins and their wild, covert mission to help save them.
Lyfe Jennings Lands ‘Ratchet-Free’ Reality Show With His Kids That He Swears Will Be Nothing Like ‘All My Baby Mamas’
We know, everybody’s getting a reality show these days. But still, it’s our job to report on it, which is why we’re telling you about the one Lyfe Jennings has planned, called “Our Life.” Knowing that the singer has multiple children and multiple women birthed those children, it was only natural that we got a bit worried that this reality show might be going in the direction of Shawty Lo’s failed, “All My Baby Mamas,” attempt, but Lyfe assured us that’s not the case at all and actually gave us an exclusive into what the show is about.
Check out his interview above, as he also gives us the details on his upcoming album. Will you watch “Our Life”?
Former NBA star Allen Iverson has abducted his own children … so says his ex-wife, and now she’s begging the court to force Allen to give them back.
Tawanna Iverson just filed legal docs, claiming Allen recently asked for permission to take their five kids on a short vacation to Charlotte, NC from May 22nd-May 26th (and Tawanna agreed) but when May 26th rolled around, the children hadn’t been returned.
The kids range in age from 3 to 16 years old.
In the docs, Tawanna says she tried to set up an exchange on June 4th at a neutral location — a nearby Target store — but A.I. never showed up.
Tawanna — who has sole legal and primary physical custody of their children — now believes Allen never took their kids to Charlotte at all … and is currently keeping them at a Sheraton hotel in Georgia.
Read more on TMZ.com.