All Articles Tagged "Kathy Stansbury"
Word on the street is (or via a study that is) that while many people like to play like they’re against spanking or “whoopings” of their kids and don’t discipline them in public, they’re likely lying. Or at least, that’s what I took away from it. *Kanye shrugs* In the study, researchers from Michigan State University anonymously observed the interactions of more than 100 caregivers with children between the ages of three and five outside of a laboratory and in a natural setting, and jotted down their findings. They were surprised to find that more than 23 percent of the caregivers they watched punished the children through “negative touching” aka, old-school discipline, through spanking, arm pulling, pinching and even slapping in public. This happened more than many caregivers have claimed or showed when asked to do lab surveys and experiments on disciplining children. A trip to the mall on the weekend probably could have proved that many folks are fans of public punishment.
Kathy Stansbury, who led the study had this to say about the behavior of these parents:
“I was very surprised to see what many people consider a socially undesirable behavior done by nearly a quarter of the caregivers. I have also seen hundreds of kids and their parents in a lab setting and never once witnessed any of this behavior.”
Well of course not, Kathy. But when they think nobody’s looking, that’s a whole other story.
Also in the study, they found that while mothers did a majority of the tugging, spanking, pinching and slapping in public, fathers did do some form of touching, but it was more on the positive side. The study found that more fathers were trying to calm children and talk to them after-the-fact.
“…researchers said they found that male caregivers touched the children more during discipline settings than female caregivers – and the majority of the time it was in a positive manner. Positive touch included hugging, tickling and patting. She said [Stansbury] this positive approach contradicts the age-old stereotype of the father as the parent who lays down the law.”
In Stanbury’s eyes, fathers who are involved are trying to have more of a say in the disciplining of their kids. So while mothers are usually known as the nurturing type, roles are starting to be flipped as fathers are getting their nurturer on from time to time with more moms becoming disciplinarians. As crazy as that sounds, I could agree somewhat that this is happening more and more these days. My brother and his wife have squabbles often over disciplining my nephew. She’s ready to spank and send him to his room while my brother thinks she needs to cut him slack. Safe to say, he’s spoiled. My own mother did more of the disciplining when it came to us via her red leather belt, while my father did more talking…or better yet, watching TV during those moments.
In the end, Stansbury seems to be anti-public discipline and thinks “positive touching” can go further than straight up embarrassing your child in public. She says that all that quick slapping and spanking doesn’t get the child to comply as easily as parents think. Instead, they spend a good minute sulking and pouting instead of doing what you want or ask:
“If your child is upset and not minding you and you want to discipline them, I would use a positive, gentle touch. Our data found that negative touch didn’t work.”
That’s cool and all, but I’d like to see how Stansbury really handles a rambunctious child when her patience and that whole concept of “positive touching” starts to wear thin…
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