All Articles Tagged "K Michelle"
On Post-Traumatic Embitterment Disorder And Why K. Michelle, Janet Hubert & The Rest Of Us Need To Forgive
There’s a big difference between being aware of the way people have treated you in the past while using that to propel you forward, and just being bitter.
And despite how ugly the word sounds, many of us have embodied it at one time or another, and been “angry, hurt, or resentful because of one’s bad experiences or a sense of unjust treatment.”
I know I’ve been bitter. Man, was I ever bitter! When an individual I used to call a friend tried to get me booted from my job, I held on to that rage for longer than was comfortable. I stooped to her level, and it did nothing but hold me back.
Janet Hubert is bitter. That’s why she’s become the go-to commentator on anything that has to do with her archnemesis Will Smith and his family. And no, as Charing Ball pointed out last month, bitterness doesn’t efface the points that she’s made about them that we can agree with, but it clouds her statements and emanates from her when she does those computer videos with the comic book filter. And I’ve had a less than pleasant conversation with her in the past, so trust me, I know what I’m talking about.
K. Michelle is bitter. And most of us would say that she has the right to be. If you told your story of abuse and the wife of the man who abused you called you a liar, you would be upset too. But watching her go back and forth with Toya Wright on social media last night, gleeful that she could say, “I told you so!” as Wright’s marriage falls apart (and she tries to make money off of it with How To Lose a Husband…), I couldn’t help but shake my head, especially at the people cheering her on. Sure people tried to ruin her, but they failed. Why not celebrate that? Why not celebrate that you could forgive and forget with Tamar Braxton, who also called you a liar? Why focus on detractors proven wrong?
Anyone in your life who is holding on to resentment over what you or someone else did to them to the point that it is consuming them, or they can only see what everyone else did to them but not their own part in disappointing situations, is bitter. And, again, while we all might have the right to temporarily be this way, to hold on to such anger for the long-term is not only unsightly, but it’s not safe.
Bitterness makes for some cold-blooded clapbacks and entertainment for people on social media, but it’s dangerous. Studies have shown that bitterness can easily turn into an adjustment disorder. Whether you’ve lost a job or hang on to resentment over something more or less significant, if you haven’t been able to move forward from it, it can turn into post-traumatic embitterment disorder. And that doesn’t just mean that you end up filled with rage, sadness or anxiety. According to research, it can actually impact everything from your organ function to your immune system.
So while we might smile and laugh on the outside while we talk about how karma is a bitch and that we’re having the last laugh when our former foes or detractors find themselves dealing with a series of unfortunate events, I don’t think we realize how much we’re tainting ourselves from the inside.
Dr. King once said in his “Love and Forgiveness” speech in front of the American Baptist Convention that “Men are slow to forgive. We live by the philosophy of getting even, of paying back or saving face. And we bow before the altar of retaliation.” In today’s world, we call such behaviors being “petty,” and we laugh about it. Applaud it, “sip tea” and take front row seats to such displays.
But “war is obsolete,” as Dr. King said. And the “ever-rising tide of revenge” does nothing but leave a trail of damage inside and out. It fixes nothing; it doesn’t bring the peace of mind that we are so are desperately in need of.
And despite the fact that so many celebrities and people love to compare the criticism they get and what they go through to Jesus (i.e., “They killed Jesus so I’m not surprised ___ would do this to me!”), many of us aren’t in the forgiving business. But at the end of the day, people don’t tell you to forgive just because it sounds nice. It’s more for you than for anyone else. How can one move on and remove the hump that is bitterness if we harp on the past? And while we harp and make ourselves ill, the people whom we feel did us so wrong bat not one single eyelash at our pain.
So as someone who recently worked to let go of the ugliness that is bitterness, I don’t applaud when others hold onto it and pull it out to go on attack mode when it suits them. If you’re someone who claims to be happy and “blessed” and a fighter, it’s contradictory to hold on to your hurt for dear life so others can cheer you on when you bring it up or so you can use it to throw darts and celebrate the misfortunes of people in your past. We know you’ve been through things. Who hasn’t? But when does it become unhealthy to harp on it?
Just last month, we told you that K. Michelle was decreasing the size of her surgically enhanced posterior to advance her career.
Well, in a little over a month’s time, the singer and reality star has done just that.
She revealed her new smaller booty, which she calls Betsy, in a series of Instagram shots.
And here’s another one, with another angle.
We’ll see what new ventures come K. Michelle’s way now that her measurements are a bit smaller.
Interestingly enough, K. Michelle’s career choices seems to be moving in a bit of reverse direction.
During a recent tour stop, the singer/songwriter, who already has the “K. Michelle: My Life” show on VH1, announced that she would be returning to “Love and Hip Hop Atlanta.”
This is certainly an interesting development considering K. Michelle left the show because she didn’t want to keep blocking her blessings by behaving so negatively in front of the camera. Perhaps she wants to show the world and her former castmates that she’s truly turned over a new leaf. But if our knowledge of reality shows proves anything, I’d bet that she’s going to go back and continue to kick up dust. After all, that’s what made her a household name in the first place.
What do you think about K. Michelle’s new booty? Is it a wise decision for her to return to “Love and Hip Hop Atlanta”?
We told you last week that Toya Wright was out here giving estranged husband Mickey “Memphitz” Wright eight days out of the year where he could go and do just about anything, and anybody. And despite knowing that such scandalous information was going to be shared on national television via Bravo’s new series Untying the Knot, the heat must have grown a little too hot in the kitchen, because Toya went on the radio to explain herself.
When the news of her controversial episode hit the Internet, Toya was pretty defiant against criticism, basically saying that people don’t really know her life–and that many put up with far worse for far less. But after the episode aired on Sunday, Toya claimed that producers cut her full response to Memphitz’s revelation about his eight hall passes. And she took to Twitter to let folks know that she wasn’t happy about it.
Feeling some type of way about the editing (per her words: “when they edit out what you really said”), Wright visited the Rickey Smiley Morning Show to set the record straight. So what’s up with their relationship and the hall passes?
Well, Toya and Memphitz are in the process of getting a divorce. They’ve been separated for almost nine months, and, unfortunately, “we’re moving in two different directions.”
They’ve been moving in those opposing directions for quite some time. Hence the reason for the hall passes–according to Toya:
“As far as the hall pass thing goes, I felt like I was already at the friend zone with Mickey. We were moving in two totally different directions, so go ‘head! Do what you do. That’s what you wanna do. Because guess what? My focus is on my businesses, and my No. 1 priority is my daughter. You can’t get it together and it’s so much going on, I’m not about to be bothered with that. And let me set the record straight: That stuff never came about when things was all good.”
To sum things up, Toya made it clear, in the third person, that “She’s not trying to keep no man that don’t want to be with her.”
As for one of the things that left their relationship in such a strain, Toya reiterated that Memphitz was pressed for years about the fact that he didn’t get to “defend himself” against abuse allegations coming from K. Michelle on Love and Hip Hop Atlanta.
“I really didn’t think it was a good look…I felt like that would be going backwards to go on the show and go back and forth with your ex. He has been holding that over my head. He blames me for it.”
As for that ex, K. Michelle has been sitting in the audience, like the rest of us, watching Memphitz’s shenanigans play out in front of and behind the camera. Clearly, she finds it comical because she posted this on Twitter on Sunday.
And she followed it up on Instagram with this message to the ladies, telling them to know their worth as she shared her testimony.
I don’t really have a response to all this because I don’t want to kick Toya while she’s down, nor do I want to talk crazy about K. Michelle (as the adage goes, if you don’t have anything nice to say, you have to shut that mouth…). But what do you make of all this?
Generally speaking, Kimberly “K. Michelle” Pate’s target demographic is Black women. Ironically, the same audiences that likely support her most are the ones she insists have been the most hateful towards her.
According to Pate, the attacks became particularly intense when she came forward to discuss her alleged affair with actor Idris Elba.
“I thought it was disgusting, the backlash I got from Black women,” Pate told B. Scott. “My whole career, the women that I fight for, have been the women that attack me.”
She went on to cite the time she accused ex-boyfriend, Mickey “Memphitz” Wright, of abuse and former “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” co-star Rashida Frost insisted that she was dishonest.
“It’s crazy because when I told about my abuse, Black women attacked me. And they said I was a liar. Then when the reports came out, ‘Oh, I always believed you.’ That doesn’t heal that scar that you called me a liar for two years, and I’m trying to be a role model.”
Let me just say that it was wrong for anyone to insist that K. Michelle was lying about being abused. However, I find it particularly interesting when Black celebrities come out bashing their own people. As for the Idris Elba thing, obviously, there’s a chance it did happen and there’s a chance it didn’t—and yes, there are some members of the MN team who have made up their minds that it didn’t. Considering that he has never publicly acknowledged their relationship—and that people have known him to be in a relationship with Naiyana Garth—it’s understandable why some would assume it didn’t. If Idris was the one doing all of the talking and K. Michelle was mute about it, we’d find ourselves in the same predicament. It all comes down to perception. People are entitled to their opinions. Personally, I don’t doubt that something went down, but I wouldn’t consider myself to be a K. Michelle if, for whatever reason, I didn’t believe her.
Anyone with an Internet connection and a substantial following on social media—white, black, yellow, or green—will likely be attacked by trolls. It’s a part of the game; and the bigger you become, the worse it gets. If your target audience is Black women, there’s a good chance that the majority of your critics will be Black women; if your target audience is green men with purple hair, it’s safe to make a similar assumption. The same goes for any other demographic. To insist that Black women have somehow collectively conspired against you when many of them are the same ones supporting you is somewhat irresponsible.
K. Michelle comes off as a bit of a conflicted person at times. Perhaps we’re all somewhat conflicted in a sense. Craziness aside, I still believe she’s extremely talented and I’d like to see her win. I hope that she finds whatever it is that she is in search of, really and truly. But I highly doubt beating up on Black women is going to help her get any closer to the life that she imagined for herself, whatever that may be.
On this week's episode of Did Y'all See? we're talking bitter exes and butt implants. Watch and weigh in with the editors as they discuss David Justice and Eric Benet coming for Halle Berry, K. Michelle's decision to remove her butt injections, and Yusaf Mack coming out of the closet.
Reality star Kimberly “K. Michelle” Pate is planning to have the size of her butt reduced—for career purposes. The outspoken singer made the interesting revelation during an interview with Love B. Scott Apparently, she arrived at the decision after having a heart-to-heart with Tyrese.
“I have like movies and different things [I’m working on], and I was having a real conversation with Tyrese — we’re really like great friends. I was telling him about my butt, how I hate being typecasted because my bottom is so heavy — not saying I don’t love myself, but…you know.”
Pate adds that her behind has become a distraction when it comes to business deals.
“For me, I want my normal shape back,” she explained. “For me, and my career right now, and me doing business — like really being on the frontline in business — I don’t need to have a man looking down at my a– when I’m trying to talk numbers. I don’t need to not be able to get the role. Like, I wanna be in ‘Jurassic Park’! Let me be in ‘Jurassic Park’! I don’t need to not be able to run through Jurassic Park because my ass is too heavy. Before the dinosaurs come to eat me, I need to be able to go!”
As for why she chose to go the butt enhancement route in the first place, Pate’s answer is simple: “I just wanted it. I wanted that shape. That’s the shape that I wanted.”
But now, she’s ready to move on.
“I think the older you get, you get tired of having to hop into your jeans!”
Around this time last year, K. Michelle was dropping hints about a past fling (or relationship…or whatever) with Idris Elba. Slowly but surely, she divulged more and more before she eventually shared with the world that while working together on her Rebellious Soul hip-hopera for VH1, they were fooling around. That is until she realized that he was also seeing another woman who was having his son: girlfriend, Naiyana Garth. As she told Necole Bitchie last year:
“He told me about the baby that was about to be born. But he also told me that…you know, we always wanna listen to men, and we always want to make excuses for them in order not to pay attention and basically, I was like a glorified side-chick. And sometimes you don’t even know you’re the side-chick until you look back and say, ‘Damn b***h, I was the side-chick, got damn.’ But he had this baby, and he just wasn’t for the baby’s mother. And you know, he wasn’t about her. And he spent a lot of time with me for eight months. A lot of time with me, here in America. A lot of time was spent.”
After revealing that her second album, Anybody Wanna Buy A Heart, was basically all about him and the ups and downs of their time together, she went on a press tour about it. However, Elba remained mum about her claims. And to this day, he hasn’t acknowledged them or the singer. But K. Michelle is still singing about the Englishman as she prepares for her third album. In fact, she’s bashing him, Garth, and Elba’s musical aspirations. He was recently featured on a song with Nigerian musician D’Banj called “Confidential.” But K. Michelle isn’t feeling any of it:
I think we’ve all been there when it comes to putting ourselves out there for a man who wasn’t worth it. It sucks. But man, oh man, she is quite hurt. And it probably has a lot to do with the fact that while she’s put her heart and her feelings out there, he’s still acting like he doesn’t know her from Adam…
What do you think of her new song and her thoughts about her former flame?
When Toya Wright and Memphitz wed back in 2011 and shared their picture perfect wedding ceremony with the world, we all just knew they’d be together forever–the chemistry between the two read lifetime lovers.
However, in nearly four years their enviable relationship turned from sugar to sh*t as the martial bliss they once shared ultimately became marital woes, resulting in the two separating. Just earlier this year in February, Wright sat with Necole Bitchie for an exclusive interview that not only confirmed but also explained the reason behind their parting. Surprisingly, the accusations of abuse towards ex-girlfriend K. Michelle took a toll on both Memphitz career and marriage to Toya, which she had denied bothered her in the past.
Since the announcement of their separation the two have not be in contact, as far as we know. However, earlier this week, the two were spotted together. They were at popular Los Angeles restaurant Crustaceans having what looked like a couples dinner with another estranged couple, former Basketball Wives L.A. cast member Brittish Williams and her ex-fiancè, European basketball star, Lorenzo Gordon.
Toya nor Memphitz have spoken further about the status of their relationship, but from the looks of it they might possibly be trying to patch things ups.
That performance with Tamar Braxton and K. Michelle left many of us feeling a little strange. Something about it just wasn’t all the way authentic. And apparently, in a recent interview with Angie Martinez, Tamar explained the reason for that. She also spoke about Rihanna being nominated for an R&B Grammy and how “The Real” gets her in trouble sometimes.
Check out some of the excerpts below.
Angie Martinez: On the performance with K Michelle…have you made nice?
Let’s me just be honest about it. That weekend was the first time I’ve ever met her. So, we’re not homies. It’s not that. We’re just cordial. It’s no beef. Never really was no beef like that because I had to treat it like someone on Twitter because I never met her.
AM: Did BET try to put you two together?
BET did put us together and it wasn’t awkward. …Well, yes it was a little bit at first. But then you know, she sang, I sang, we went home.
AM:There was no backstage conversation?
No. That’s why I decided to apologize on stage because it was weird.
AM: You didn’t have a conversation before the stage.
No! I mean, ‘Hi, how you doing? God is good. Won’t He do it?’ We didn’t go out to dinner, we didn’t go have drinks. It’s just no beef. You know what I’m saying?
AM: At least that’s been put to bed.
She also talked about some of the negative reaction fellow celebrities have had to the ladies of “The Real,” talking about their personal lives.
AM:”The Real” is going to get you in trouble
A little bit. But you know what, guess what, you can’t get upset if you’re pop culture. What else are we supposed to talk about, yarning?
AM:What about you, can you take it because after the BET Awards they were meme-ing you up.
I loved it. I cracked up. I posted some of them. because I do make funny faces when I’m singing. That’s why I sing for real.
Then Angie brought up Tyrese’s campaign to bring R&B music back to the forefront . He even mentioned that artists like Sam Smith benefit from White privilege when singing Black music.
I definitely wouldn’t consider that R&B though. I had an issue with Rihanna being nominated, at the Grammys, for best R&B album. She doesn’t sing R&B music. She’s a pop star. And so I had an issue with that. I love her. Glad she won.
AM:What makes something R&B?
It’s called rhythm and blues. Ribs and barbecue. It’s not pop pop pop, *bee bops* . It’s not that music. It’s soulful. That’s R&B music.
AM:I’m trying to think of a song that could be categorized as R&B
No. Every song of hers, I’ve gotten my complete and utter life to, twerking. I love her. I’m one of her biggest fans, period but that’s not R&B music.
Beyoncé for me is more R&B than what Rihanna’s music would be considered.
See what else she had to say, in the full interview.
You can watch her full interview in the video below.
Recently, B. Scott had the chance to chat with Tamar Braxton when she called into his new podcast, “The B. Scott Show.” He asked her a series of questions we’ve all been dying to know like why she got so emotional during that episode of “The Real” where she referenced the bullying she had endured the hands of fellow songstress K. Michelle, spoke issues of jealousy between she and Toni and even addressed the rumors that she and Vince don’t pay people who work for them.
Check out a few of the highlights below.
On that infamous ‘bullying’ breakdown on ‘The Real’
You know, it’s always the person whose bullying you who makes it about themselves — but I have to be honest and say that it wasn’t about the people who have bullied me. It was really, honestly, about what information can I give my own child, you know?
The reason why I broke down, was because — yes, it does affect me emotionally. But the reason why I broke down was because I felt like I didn’t have the information to give my child if he comes to me and asks me…because it still affects me, if you know what I’m saying.
On Dealing with it now
You know, I really don’t care any more. To be honest, if I don’t know those people — and I love my Tamartian friends and my fans, and I’m sure they love me…but they’re not gonna love everything you do. I think what has helped me the most is that I have to truly, 100% believe in what I am doing and what I stand by.
On the reoccurring rumors that she and Vince don’t pay their employees:
I can’t say they don’t have a good experience working with me. You know, because I’ve kept people employed for, you know, a very long time — years and years. When things start to not work out and people get let go or what have you, they’re upset. They start saying things — which is the same exact thing — and it’s ridiculous. If that was the problem, then you wouldn’t have been here for 3 or 4 years. You understand what I’m saying? But now, all of a sudden, oh, I ain’t paid you for three years and you’ve been sticking around! *laughs* That doesn’t even make no sense. Stop it!
On supposedly being jealous of her sister Toni:
Let me go back to last season of [Braxton Family Values] where everyone heard me say — ‘no disrespect to you Toni, I feel like you have definitely been a huge part of not just this family, but to the music industry itself — but I do not feel you paved the way for me.’
Let me just explain myself, right? This is what I was talking about — I’ve had five record deals before now. If it just depended on the fact that Toni is not only an icon [but] my sister, then I would have made it five deals ago! That’s all I was saying. I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful to her or say that she’s not talented or say that she doesn’t deserve to be [anything]– or that I’m even jealous. I was just saying, ‘[Toni] being my sister has NOTHING to do with the success I have today! I worked my complete behind off. This is my SIXTH record deal and, you know, if it was just solely dependent on YOU being my sister than it would have happened five record deals ago.
You can listen to Tamar’s full interview with B. Scott in the audio below.