Source: Facebook

I wonder if Jada Pinkett knew the firestorm she was going to set off when she posted a rather interesting and controversial question (along with the image above) on her Facebook page earlier this week. Concerned about the state of relationships between men and women, and about the intimacy choices of a few women around her, Jada questioned why women are seemingly choosing to be with women romantically in response to negative experiences with men. Rather than editorialize and run the risk of misconstruing whatever insight she was trying to gain, let me simply  lay her question out the same way she did.

Before I begin…I want to make one thing clear. It’s important that you know that I believe love comes in ALL forms. I believe a person should love WHOMEVER…HOWEVER they choose. But…I do have a question.

In the last month, three women, in their 40s, coming out of long term relationships with men have confided in me that they now feel that their last resort for companionship is that with a woman. These are women who have never engaged in or even desired to be in intimate relationships with other women. Now these women feel as though they have no other option. It seems as if there is a spike in same sex love all around. What is changing in which how men and women are relating to one another, that is creating same sex love as a LAST RESORT for heterosexual women?

You…tell…me.
J

Well, what do you think? And have you noticed this “trend”?

Many were thrilled to learn that the young and talented Willow Smith would be starring in the Jay-Z affiliated Annie remake. Unfortunately, that won’t be happening. Last week, news broke that the youngest Smith child would no longer be starring in the production due to the Sony Pictures believing that she had “outgrown” the part and was now too old to play a nine-year-old Annie. Will Smith, however had a fairly different story as to why his baby girl pulled out of the remake, reports Necole Bitchie. Check out what he had to say.

“In the past 18 months,  I have spent a lot of time focusing on the emotional aspect of my life and my family. In 2010, in one year, our family had the ‘Karate Kid.’ we had ‘Whip my Hair,’ we had Hawthorne, and at the end of the year, we did the Nobel Concert when Barack Obama won his Nobel Peace Prize. Don’t be clapping yet, that wears you out. The thing that had become very clear to me is the danger of a material world and focusing so hard on coming up with money or a house or a job. You focus so hard on those things, and sometimes you can lose focus on why you are doing it in the first place. The only reason to do any of that is to have love,” he expressed.

It seems that Willow needed a break from show biz.

“Willow was supposed to be doing ‘Annie,’ we got Jay-Z to do the movie, got the studio to come in and Willow had such a difficult time on tour with ‘Whip my Hair’ and she said, ‘You know Daddy, I don’t think so’ and I said, ‘Baby, hold up! I said no,no,no, listen, you’ll be in New York with all of your friends and Beyoncé will be there. You will be singing and dancing,’ and she looked at me and said, ‘Daddy, I have a better idea, how about I just be 12.’”

“I’m really learning through Willow the necessity that we have to snap ourselves back and refocus on the emotional needs of the people that we love. Someone’s emotional needs can be very very different from your dreams and what you think they should be doing and where they are supposed to be.”

Since the success of “Whip My Hair”, Willow was certainly pushed into the spotlight and one can only imagine how much pressure that could be on a 12-year-old. It seems that she has made a wise decision.

What do you think of Willow’s decision to pull out?

Photo courtesy of WENN

Jazmine Denise is a news writer for Madame Noire. Follow her on Twitter @jazminedenise

Source: Tumblr.com

At the core, Jason’s Lyric is a love story, at least three to four times over. There’s the dysfunctional type of love between Joshua and Jason’s parents, that starts all of the drama in the first place. There’s the familial love that keep Jason in Houston for so long, defending, rationalizing and protecting his brother and then there’s the love story between Lyric and Jason, who have to figure out a way to escape their toxic surroundings if they want their relationship to work. You know the movie, you remember that one scene…you know what I’m talking about. You might even have memorized some of the lines but you probably don’t know the behind the scenes secrets. Check them out below.

Source: WENN

Will and Jada have been getting the side-eye for their parenting style ever since their daughter Willow went from whipping her hair back and forth to rocking technicolor low-cut fades every other week and posing next to stripper poles. Both parents have spoken out numerous times about their take on self-expression and what they do and don’t allow their kids to participate in, but I think Jada Pinkett just provided the last piece of the puzzle regarding her approach to raising two pre-teens.

PEOPLE caught up with Jada at a Yes to Prop 35 event hosted by The Moms Monday afternoon and there Jada presented this take on motherhood:

“I think that old school style of ‘I’m your parent and I’m greater than you’ doesn’t work. What I establish with my children is a partnership. I’m not necessarily dictating what is happening in their lives.”

A lot of parents would likely disagree with that approach, especially when we’re talking about a 14-year-old boy (Jaden) and a 12-year-old girl (Willow). I wouldn’t say most mothers and fathers completely dictate their children’s lives but they do set age-appropriate parameters, which in this case most of the general public believes Willow and Jaden are lacking. In my mind, being a parent as opposed to a partner doesn’t mean I’m greater than you, it means I’m older and I know a little bit more to guide you through life and help you make good decisions. Jada, on the other hand, thinks approaching her kids as peers increases the likelihood that they will listen.

By “instilling in [Willow] the power for individuality, we … communicate with our kids in a way that our message overpowers any other message that they get out there.”

In the same token, they don’t limit the information their kids come across, even when it includes rumors and gossip about their family.

“We can’t control what our kids learn anymore. We have to inform them and have real conversations … and [create] that foundation of them feeling assured in themselves.”

“I think for our children … they feel like we really care and they come to us and go, ‘Mommy, I’m having this problem,’ and it’s like, ‘Okay, let’s figure this out together.’ And it empowers them.”

I truly believe in my heart of hearts that in the world according to Essence, there are only 12 black celebrities: Beyonce, Jill Scott, Jada Pinkett, Queen Latifah, Taraji P. Henson, Kerry Washington, Nia Long, Alicia Keys, Mary J. Blige, Michelle Obama, Gabrielle Union, and their November cover subject, Tyler Perry. We love these ladies, especially Mrs. O, and they are all amazing in their own right but damn it they are NOT the only black folks doing things in the entertainment industry and Essence of all people should know this.

Last month, I suggested we start a bet in the office on who would have next on the magazine’s cover because after I saw Jill Scott grace the October issue, I knew guessing the probability of the magazine using one of its tried and true go-tos was about as high as a professional basketball player cheating on his wife with a video chick. And sure enough, there was Tyler Perry in all his golden purple joy plastered on the glossy for the fourth time since 2007—nearly once every year.

I know the good folks over at Essence are smart, so it’s not as though they don’t know that they’ve recycled the same people over, and over, and over again. I think they fail to realize that we peeped game too – or they just assume we love these people so much we don’t care. That’s the only logical conclusion I can draw, based solely on the annual cover repeats, and the fact that when Mary J. Blige was the guest editor for the June issue, they boasted that this was her twelfth time on the cover – as if that was a good thing. I’m sure Mary doesn’t mind, but the readers that are still hanging on? Trust me, they care.

The problem is simple, Essence is the only magazine specifically for black women. If anyone should be constantly reinventing themselves – and their covers –it should be them. Why is a magazine for black women acting as though there are only a handful of us to choose from? Yes, I’m sure they’ve done all sorts of studies on who sells magazine covers, which is probably why they keep serving up the same best sellers, but would it kill them to take a risk – that wouldn’t really be a risk at all?

Let’s think about this year’s Summer Olympics, black women were the London Games. Did Serena have a cover, what about the US track team – hello Sanya Richards-Ross, heck even Lolo Jones, and regardless of her being 16 years old, there isn’t one person on this earth who would say they’ve had enough of Gabby Douglas. Essence had a huge opportunity with those ladies, but who did we get this summer instead? Mary, Obama, Nia, and Jada. Anyone else hear the Four Tops singing “it’s the Same Old Song” in their head?

At the height of Gabourey Sidibe’s “Precious” hype, it’s amazing that Elle put the actress on the cover, rather than Essence. I’m curious if the magazine got the memo that Janelle Monae is the hotness right now, not to mention a Cover Girl. The Braxtons? Solange? Ri-freaking-Hanna? These are women who are high in demand right now. Yes, Rih Rih is a bit of a wild child but if Oprah can have a sit down with her, I’m sure Essence could tailor their talk to something their readers would care about. The question is do they care about what their readers care about?

We know why everyone went bananas over Viola Davis’ November 2011 cover, she was the first new face in a hot, long minute. And when they followed that up with Tasha Smith in December I just knew someone over there had had their Eureka moment. For a brief second I thought, yes, they finally get it! They found out that more than 12-15 black people are doing big things. And then January 2012 issue came out. And I saw Queen Latifah in a red onesie. And the cycle continued.

In Essence’s defense, they’re probably a little nervous to think too far outside the box anymore, considering the two times they tried people had a full-blown fit. Remember the Diddy-Kim Porter catastrophe? Reggie Bush backlash anybody? Granted these weren’t the best choices, but that did mark the beginning and the end of Essence’s let’s be creative era.

Many have come to the conclusion that the magazine wants to play it safe and cater to a demographic that clearly is much older than the 18-34-year-old crowd. And that’s all good and well, except if that’s true, then why post pictures and videos of women like Evelyn Lozada on the website? The disconnect is alarming. I’d love to go back to being a faithful Essence reader but looking at the covers, I can only assume the content inside is just as predictable as the faces on the outside. At this point all I can suggest is Time Warner steal Desiree Rogers and let her bring the magazine (and its website) back to life just like she did Ebony.

What’s your take on Essence? Who do you think they’re sleeping on for cover choices?

Brande Victorian is the news and operations editor for madamenoire.com. Follow her on twitter @Be_Vic.

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We can all breathe a collective sigh of relief now, because after Jada Pinkett spoke out to say her and Will’s marriage was nowhere near in danger the way media reports have been made it out to be, Will has backed her up to say the same.

In an interview with Access Hollywood, Shaun Robinson tactfully asked Will how he handles the negative press surrounding his marriage and he basically said he brushes it off.

“For me with that type of stuff—you can’t take that personally. It’s a game,” Will said saying he doesn’t even look at the rumors as a good or bad part of fame.

“It’s just a part of the game. I’m not going to play that part, but I can understand where somebody would have something in their heart where they have to stab at somebody, they have to poke at somebody, but I’m indestructible. You gonna hurt yourself stabbing at me,” he said.

That approach makes total sense when people from the outside are trying to make judgements or assumptions about something as personal as a marriage from the far off point of view we have as the public. Though Will said he doesn’t pay the negativity much mind, he was noticeably appreciative of Shaun for the way she asked him about the rumors and his marriage. He told her:

“There’s a difference between entertainment and people’s lives and I appreciate how you’ve handled my life.

I’m just happy to know one of our favorite black Hollywood couples isn’t going anywhere. Also, is it just me or is Will looking a little finer these days?

Check out his interview clip here.

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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These celebs were happily married or together before or just when they were beginning to be noticed by the world. But they’re all divorced/separated now. Do you think their former significant other is now kicking the ground wishing they were still together?  Hey, you have to wonder!

Read the rest of this entry »

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“To be a real man or woman, you’ve got to know what you believe in. You’ve got to understand that your actions have consequences and that they are connected to everything that you are.” ― Sister Souljah

Often times we think turning a certain age or becoming a parent automatically makes us a man or a woman. However we fail to realize that it’s takes much more to hold that title. As Sister Souljah reminds us, to be a real man or woman we have to know who we are, what we believe in and understand that our actions and decisions have consequences. We are role models for the next generation, so let’s make them proud and leave a legacy they can follow and benefit from.

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I admit it, I wanted to know whether Will & Jada were on their way to a divorce. And their subsequent press release aside, we still don’t know. The statement wasn’t a testament to the present strength of their marriage, just a verification of its current status.

Now the following is just one man’s opinion, but I suspect Mo’Kelly is not alone in it.

Beyond the obvious motivations of a celebrity-driven news media, the marriage (or divorce) of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith matters, especially to African-Americans. But don’t get ahead of Mo’Kelly. There are serious underlying issues here that most news media have been loathe to discuss. Don’t assume you know where this is going.

For whatever many and unfortunate reasons, marriage within the African-American community is the exception, not the rule. You bet, I’m rooting for Will and Jada. The husband is best known for a music and acting career in no way connected to misogyny, drugs and buffoonery. His millions aren’t tainted with the stain of calling women B****s and men N****s, year after year after year. It is what separates him from the likes of a Jay-Z, who at 41 is still as lyrically irresponsible as he was at 21, disrespecting the whole of Black people for a buck. Mind you, this is after his previous career as a drug dealer.

It’s not about the money amassed, it’s about the responsibility accepted (or refused) along the way. Integrity matters. Her name is best known for co-starring in a TV shows about African-Americans in college (of all things) and running a nursing staff and a host of movies in between the two.

These facts speak to the importance of Will and Jada and their substantive contributions.

(Lord, what I wouldn’t give for another show about Black people getting their education in the 21st century.)

But I digress.

Individually and collectively the pair has done nothing to embarrasses us as African-Americans and have raised child-stars who so far seem to have their heads on straight too. I would even be willing to bet that these truths aren’t lost on the couple and adds to the tremendous burdens associated with their high-profile relationship.

I can’t speak for the millions of others who have speculated and postulated “why” their marriage is either strong or on the rocks, or what led to the rumors in the first place. For many, it was exactly that and little more; the next and latest story concerning a celebrity couple. But this couple’s significance is far greater than Bey and Jay, Brad and Angelina or Marc and Jennifer. The cultural relevance of Will and Jada far exceeds any of the aforementioned.

Will and Jada are the closest thing my generation will have to an Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee. Yes sir, I said it and I meant it. No, they aren’t there yet and no disrespect to anyone else…but there really isn’t anyone else on the list, truth be told.

You damn right I’m interested in whether Will and Jada are in the midst of picking out divorce lawyers and divvying up assets. Sure, there are Black power couples in Hollywood, but none boasts the visibility, respectability and dependability of these two.

None. Nope, nobody. And it’s not even close.

That’s the symbolic importance of Will and Jada…and their marriage.

This is not about unduly idolizing them, as I know neither of them personally. I’m sure that they’re just as flawed and flagrantly human as the rest of us. No amount of fame and fortune will change that. But who else has taken as much care to guard how “we” are viewed and portrayed in media, given their life and business choices? In my own selfishness, I want their marriage to remain on their résumés as one of their enduring accomplishments. In the end, it says more to African-American children than any award or acclaim the world of celebrity could give them.

Morris W. O’Kelly (Mo’Kelly) is author of the syndicated entertainment and socio-political column The Mo’Kelly Report. For more Mo’Kelly, http://mrmokelly.com. Mo’Kelly can be reached at mrmokelly@gmail.com and he welcomes all commentary. Follow Morris W. O’Kelly on Twitter:@mrmokelly