All Articles Tagged "Iyanla Vanzant"
Most of us, if not all love us some Iyanla Vanzant. Besides her many accolades, she is a free therapist for us all via her Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) show, Fix My Life. Two weeks ago on the show, Iyanla counseled two sisters from San Antonio who had a deep rift between them. Their anger stemmed from traumatizing episodes during their teenage years. As OWN reports:
Iyanla has traveled to San Antonio to meet two sisters in crisis, Barbara and Geneva. Barbara grew up affluently with her aunt and uncle. Geneva was raised by their mother in poverty. At 17, Barbara invited her younger sister to come live with her, but a rift formed between the sisters after Barbara learned Geneva was sleeping with Barbara’s boyfriend, who fathered two of Geneva’s four children. Now, Iyanla wants to get Geneva’s side of the story. Watch as she shares a family secret with Iyanla and opens up about what her sister taught her about being a woman.
During the clip, Geneva confesses to Vanzant that Barbara’s boyfriend would fondle her and coerce her into having sexual intercourse. Despite telling her sister about the rape, Geneva stated Barbara did not believe her. As their sexual relationship progressed, the boyfriend would give gifts and money to Geneva. Unfortunately, during the clip Vanzant did not believe Geneva had been assaulted, instead she told Geneva she was “h-eing”. Her claim on Geneva’s juxtaposition was based on the belief that Geneva accepted the money and gifts from the boyfriend. Vanzant asked: “Did her boyfriend give you money to lay up with him?” When Geneva said “yes,” Vanzant looked upon her disapprovingly.
Although Vanzant is filled with tough-love, her response to Geneva was surprising. Perhaps it was because Geneva became pregnant with her first child at 14 and had two children with Barbara’s boyfriend that Vanzant was disappointed, but her reaction was read as slut-shamming by many media outlets. It seemed to be implied that because of Geneva’s history she knew what she was doing with her sister’s boyfriend. But as we also know, your sexual history should never be an example of how people can treat you. The age of Barbara’s boyfriend was not revealed but he was older than Geneva when he began to have sex with her while she was 16 years old. Geneva also claims Barbara taught her how to be a woman by only dating men who could provide financially for her. Geneva’s history has not given her a healthy perception of relationships but she should not have been accused of “h-eing” especially if she was taught a certain type of behavior in order to survive her living environment.
Check out the Fix My Life clip below. Do you think Iyanla slut shamed Geneva?
From Hello Beautiful
Each week on “Iyanla: Fix My Life” we watch Iyanla Vanzant help celebrities and everyday people overcome their personal struggles to live a better life. But, on an upcoming episode of the hit OWN series, we get a glimpse in the spiritual life coach’s personal story of survival.
In a new promo clip, Iyanla shares her experience of living through domestic violence with guest Janetria.
“After I got hit in my head with a bed slat, I woke up at three o’clock in the morning and something said to me, ‘If you don’t leave here now, he’s going to kill you,’” she said. “And I creeped out of the bed and I got a bag of clothes for each of my kids and one for me. And I left.”
“I had nowhere to go, I had no money to get there — I didn’t even care,” she continued. “But I had to be willing to lose everything to gain it all.”
Read more at HelloBeautiful.com
T.O. Says He Found Out His Childhood Neighbor Was His Estranged Dad After He Tried To Date His Sister
If you were out on the town enjoying your Saturday evening, you missed out on the season premiere of Iyanla: Fix My Life, which was a very emotional, if not heartbreaking episode with enough family secrets to make your relatives look like the Brady Bunch.
Despite all the issues folks have with Terrell Owens, it’s clear that a lot of his past behavior and controversy has a lot to do with his childhood, which was NOT a good one. After his mother gave birth to him at 17 after being impregnated by a married man much older, Owens was sent to live with his grandmother, whom he says never told him, “I love you.” And if that wasn’t enough, T.O.’s father wasn’t present in his life. While speaking with Iyanla, Owens opened up about finally meeting his father after he started having a crush on one of the girls who lived across the street from his grandmother’s house. When the two seemed to be getting too close, the father of the house, LC Russell, intervened and told him that Owens couldn’t date his daughter because she was actually his sister–and Mr. Russell was HIS father. All this happened at the age of 11.
I think anybody that was watching probably had their jaw drop at such a revelation, and eventually, Iyanla was able to get father and son together to talk, and Owens let his dad know that his heart had been broken by his absence (especially since the man lived across the street with his wife and children, but wasn’t physically there for T.O.).
“I think everything that has happened to me…I’ve been a product of my environment. I knew I wasn’t happy inside, but I always played it off. I put a smile on my face when I knew I was hurting and I was sad inside. Even in relationships that I had with women, I really didn’t know how to have a relationship with them. Those are things that I know I probably should have been taught as a kid and I never was. I guess the question I should have asked years ago was, ‘Why wasn’t I told?’ Why did it take me to have an interest in my sister, a liking to my sister, for me to know who my dad was?
For me to live across the street and know that you were my dad and know that on that side of the street you had kids, you had a wife. That was a family and I wasn’t apart of that. I couldn’t understand or wrap my brain around why I was across the street and wasn’t apart of that. My mom was elsewhere and I’m staying with my grandmother and I didn’t have a dad.”
His father, Mr. Russell, responded by saying that he just didn’t know the right time to open up to Owens:
“Sometimes waiting on the right time goes a little further than, you know waiting on that right time to tell you. That’s the way it came out. It could have been sooner. It should have been sooner.
I was married. I couldn’t do what I wanted to do. I would like to have taken him fishing or to ball games. I have two outside kids so I had to work two jobs. I worked two jobs for 19 years to take care of them.”
Iyanla went on to say that part of Owens’ struggles to be there for his four children is because of the betrayal he dealt with as a child and not knowing Mr. Russell in his life. During the follow-up at the end of the episode, Owens said that he has been more in communication with his kids and is focused on building a career outside of football, and he’s also trying to build some kind of relationship with his estranged father. Really sad stuff folks…
Check out T.O.’s confrontation with his dad and his mother as he talks about making such a terrible discovery about his parents as a kid on the next page, and share your thoughts below.
Apparently, this is the season for seasoned women. First, we told you about Tina Knowles’ date Richard Lawson and now Iyanla, who’s making rounds promoting her new season of “Iyanla Fix My Life,” appeared on “The Wendy Williams Show” to catch up and spill some tea.
After Wendy talked about the celebrities she’s helped and the celebrities who could use some help, Wendy got all up in her business as she’s known to do. She asked her if she’s dating anyone right now and Iyanla, who just turned 60 shared.
Wendy: Are you in love, what’s your situation?
Iyanla: “I am blessed and honored to say that I have a gorgeous, loving, supportive, healthy, beautiful, black man.”
Wendy: Is he younger or older?
Iyanla: Same age but well fed. And I keep him quiet because there’s pieces and parts of my life that they don’t need to know.
Check out Iyanla’s entire interview with Wendy below.
As the next season of “Iyanla Fix My Life” is set to air this Sunday, November 3, we had the opportunity to sit down one more time with Iyanla Vanzant and pick her brain about a few more things. We spoke to her about the tendency of black families to keep secrets, why black men specifically are hesitant about seeking therapy or asking for help.
And then she spoke specifically about her upcoming episode with Terrell Owens. I’ve seen the episode and I have to say that it’s a lot to process. Seeing where he comes from and what he had to endure explains a lot about the current state he currently finds himself. A lot of drama and a lot of admissions came to the surface in this episode so we asked what does she feel allowed Terrell and his family to open up. She said:
“I think Terrell, the pain he was experiencing was greater than his fear of being exposed.”
We know Iyanla works with a lot of different people with a lot of issues that have us shedding tears at home. We wondered if she ever finds that she takes the problems of her clients home with her. She said:
”Most of what I see, I’ve already healed. Because it’s only one of three things, somebody’s not feeling loved. I’ve healed that. Somebody’s not feeling heard or seen and they’re acting out. I’ve healed that. And somebody hasn’t forgiven. I do that everyday.”
Check out the entire conversation below.
The longest running docu-series on TV One Network, Life After, showcases celebrities who have had turning points in their lives and entertainment careers. Last night, Life After presented Shereè Whitfield’s biography. Whitfield explained how she became financially stable after her devastating divorce to NFL player Bob Whitfield, the Real Housewives Of Atlanta (RHOA) reality show changing her life and who she is as a woman, presently. We had the opportunity to interview Whitfield and she shared insight on her Iyanla: Fix My Life episode, how she (and not the producers) would portray herself on RHOA, and if she’s finally ready for a housewarming at Chateau Shereè.
Maintaining Her Confidence During Her Marriage To An Athlete
“It was hard! I saw my mother, who is my role model go through her own highs and lows but she always maintained a sense of confidence throughout it all. So that gave me strength and she always reminded me to keep my head up and maintain who I am.”
Her Finances After Her Divorce
‘I was a stay-at-home mom, living in the same house we raised our family in and he [Bob Whitfield] was not paying the bills once we were going through the divorce. It was really stressful going through a divorce and having to close my store [Bella Azul]. I did not know when the next check was going to come and Bob was not providing like he was supposed to.”
On Her Fix My Life Session With Iyanla And Ex-Husband Bob Whitfield
“There are various types of coaching styles and Iyanla Vanzant’s style did not work for me. My ex-husband brought the opporunity to me and I expected her to hear my side of the story. I expected to her to not be biased and she was a little biased towards me.”
If She Misses Being A Part Of The RHOA Cast
“Not at all! I definitely miss the paycheck but I have learned that it is better to watch the train wreck than be a part of it. When I watch other reality shows, I say “Oh my God! I was a part of that!” It’s much better to not be a part of the show.”
How She Would Portray Herself On RHOA If She Had Another Opportunity
“I feel the producers portrayed my personality as one-sided. They made me look like a bi**hy person, but that is not me all the time. It is a part of me, but I am very family oriented. I love my kids and hanging with my friends. I love going bowling and having fun. I do not feel they showed that side of me during my time on RHOA.”
If Her Oldest Daughter Walked Down The Aisle
“She never made it down the aisle; she is still waiting but I cannot tell you how long she will be waiting for a ring. I personally would not like to wait seven, eight years for a ring. I don’t think it takes that long for someone to know if they would like to marry you or spend the rest of his life with you. But if someone wants to wait it out because they love the person, that is fine, but I would not.”
Why She Felt Her Family Was In Danger Because Of Bloggers
“They would come on my property and post my address on their websites. I did not think it was safe and I had to consider my children’s friends’ safety as well since they would come over to our house. So many bloggers would follow me and I had to think about safety because there are people who do not like me from watching RHOA.”
The Advice She Would Give RHOA Newcomers Kenya And Porsha
“Kenya does not need any type of advice. I always hear about her and whatever she is doing, she is doing it right because people are talking. I don’t really watch the show anymore so I can’t speak about Porsha (Williams), but my heart goes out to her as she goes through her divorce on the show. I know it is hard because she has to smile for the cameras when it is a really hard time to be smiling, but I know she will be okay.”
Update On Chateau Shereè
I know in the blogs, they’re stating that it was in foreclosure, but that is not true. It is still my property. There’s nothing I’m rushing, I’m taking my time building my dream home.”
Did you Check out Shereè Whitfield on TV One’s “Life After” last night? What did you think?
If not, here is a preview of her Life After episode.
If you watched the Iyanla: Fix My Life episode with DMX, I’m sure you remember how much of a handful the rapper was when Iyanla tried to connect with him, especially when she tried to have him speak with his estranged son. An opportunity to get “beloved” on the right path turned into a hot mess of an intervention that ended with DMX telling Iyanla to “shut the f**k up,” and the spiritual teacher telling him that “You never get to talk to me again, ever!”
So if she can’t fix that man, who can? Dr. Phil possibly, but I wouldn’t hold my breath. In a preview for the sit down between Dark Man X and everyone’s favorite TV psychologist, the two went back and forth about why he’s so far behind in child support, why he stays in trouble, and why he thought it was a good idea to run through a hotel with no drawls on. There are moments in the preview when DMX would laugh at his troubled past or basically act like he couldn’t be there for his children because the world “needs him.” All in all, I have a feeling this intervention is not really going to make the difference people that care about him are hoping for. Why? Because he has to be ready and willing to seek help, and as we learned from his time cussing out Iyanla Vanzant, he doesn’t think there’s anything wrong.
But what do you think? Check out the preview of his interview with Dr. Phil and share your opinion. And if you’re interested in watching it in full, their sit-down will air tomorrow (Wednesday, September 25) on CBS.
Ahh, Oprah Winfrey—the godmother of talk shows and an exemplar of career longevity. With her “Midas touch,” Oprah’s rubbed her magic on to rising stars and turned their careers to gold. With just a few appearances on her show, doctors, psychologists, authors, a money coach, and even her best friend have found fame and fortune under her wing. Yeah, she’s that powerful. Can you guess which celebrities have reached stardom with the help of the talk show goddess?
Iyanla Vanzant Sits Down With Troubled WNBA Star Chamique Holdsclaw For A Good Ole’ Session of ‘Fix My Life’
I like to believe that celebrities are just like us. It’s just that our shortcomings, mistakes and meltdowns don’t play out in tabloid headlines and they generally aren’t tried in the court of public opinion. Luckily for celebs (and nosy folks like us), they’re given the opportunity to redeem themselves from these public and confront their demons on national television with shows like Iyanla: Fix My Life. The latest celeb to sign up for a good old sit down with the 59-year-old inspirational speaker and life coach is WNBA star and Olympic gold medalist, Chamique Holdsclaw.
If you recall, late last year, the 36-year-old former San Antonio Silver Stars player had an ugly run-in with the law after she allegedly shot a gun into her ex-girlfriend, WNBA player Jennifer Lacy’s car and shattered the windows using a baseball bat. Chamique turned herself in to Fulton County police following the incident. The last thing we heard about the case was that Chamique—who has admitted to suffering from clinical depression in the past—was facing six criminal charges, which collectively carry the hefty sentence of 65 years in prison.
OWN recently announced that Chamique will be opening up about the incident during the Saturday, August 17th episode of Iyanla: Fix My Life. In a 31-second preview of the episode, Iyanla appears to be exploring some deep seated family issues that plague the athlete, as well as what caused her “violent outburst” last year.
“Was it your ex that you went after with the bat and the gun? Or was it your mother?” Iyanla asks.
The network’s description of the episode, which is titled, “Fix My Hoop Star Life,” reads:
“Iyanla travels to Atlanta to help retired WNBA superstar Chamique Holdsclaw, who continues to struggle with personal demons that have caused her to snap in the past.”
It looks like it’s going to be really emotional.
Turn the page to watch the preview. Will you be tuning in?
When Iyanla Vanzant came by our offices a couple of weeks ago, she brought along more than just a heavy dose of tough love; she also dropped some disturbing statistics on women and sexual abuse, noting that six out of 10 women have been sexually violated by the age of 10, and of those, three are violated by people they know.
In the face of that news, we asked the host of “Iyanla: Fix my Life” why she believes sexual abuse remains such a common experience among women and she had a somewhat controversial suggestion for eliminating at least some of the potential for these incidents to occur, which is her staunch rule of never leaving girls along with men.
Miss Vanant also touched more on her “Daddyless Daughters” Life Class with Oprah, the types of individuals whose lives she would truly like to “fix,” and a list of things every woman should know. Check out her interview below. What do you think?