All Articles Tagged "interracial dating"
“It’s A Reflection Of Reality:” Malcolm D. Lee Explains Why He Put Jordan With A White Boy In “The Best Man Holiday”
We’re pretty sure Harper Stewart wasn’t the only one surprised to see Jordan with a white boy in the upcoming film, “The Best Man Holiday.” In previews for “The Best Man” sequel we find out Nia Long’s character Jordan has been “playing in the snow,” as Quentin put it in the film, and when we attended the press junket for the movie in LA, we chatted with director Malcolm D. Lee about why chose to take her story line in that direction.
Speaking on Jordan’s go-getter attitude toward her career and the fact that love has always taken a backseat in her life, he said:
“African American women who are extremely successful can’t always find black male counterparts on that level so it’s a little bit of a reflection of reality that black women are starting to date outside their race — and why not?”
Lee also spoke on his ability to incorporate spirituality into both “Best Man” movies without beating people over the head with a message and what he thinks about the current climate of black films. Check out what he had to say about that and more in the video below.
The rate of interracial marriages in the U.S. has doubled in the past 30 years, but according to online dating habits, Americans are still racially polarized when it comes to dating people of different races.
University of California at San Diego sociologist Kevin Lewis analyzed messages sent by more than 126,000 OkCupid users over a two-and-a-half month period in order to examine how racial prejudice affects romantic decisions. Including heterosexual interactions between users who self-identified with the site’s five largest racial categories (Black, White, East Asian, Hispanic/Latino and Indian), he found that people from all racial backgrounds disproportionately contacted users from the same racial background.
But here’s an interesting twist, people were more open to reply to a user of a different race than they were to initiate the contact. “And right after they did so, for about a week, they were more likely to start a conversation with someone of another race,” reports Popular Science.
OkCupid has been looking at the issue since 2009 when, on its OkTrends blog, it detailed the prevalence of racial prejudice on its own service. White males get the most responses to their messages of any other group, and white, Asian and Hispanic women reply to non-white men less than a quarter of the time, according to the site’s own data.
Most recently, Lewis found similar trends: “Most men (except black men) are unlikely to initiate contact with black women, all men (including Asian men) are unlikely to reply to Asian women, and although women from all racial backgrounds tend to initiate contact with men from the same background, women from all racial backgrounds also disproportionately reply to white men.”
According to Lewis, one factor in online dating’s racial segregation could be what he calls preemptive discrimination.
“In other words, part of the reason site users, and especially minority site users, do not express interest in individuals from a different racial background is because they anticipate — based on a lifetime of experiences with racism — that individuals from a different background will not be interested in them,” he said.
And, this could be why people are more apt to reply to users of another race than message them first. Obviously the person is interested in them if they receive a message.
Kanye always said ”And when you get on he leave your A$$ for a white girl” in regards to black men, but he never mentioned black women.There are quite a few black women that have gained great success through music, acting and sports, but aren’t seen with black men romantically. Check out 15 women that love to date white men exclusively, or so it seems.
After Berry Gordy, Diana Ross hasn’t seemed to find another black man to date or marry. She married Robert Ellis Silberstein in 1971, the same year her oldest daughter was born. Although her real father was Berry Gordy, Diana failed to reveal that information until years later. She then divorced Silberstein in 1977 and married billionaire Arne Naess, Jr.
Jill Scott: I Never Said I Don’t Like Interracial Relationships, But If A White Woman Validates You, You’re Misguided
I think I could listen to Jill Scott talk all day long. Not only does the 41-year-old Grammy Award winner have one of the most calming and melodic voices I’ve ever heard, she also drops a lot of knowledge whenever she opens her mouth.
When we caught up with the singer on the press junket for the upcoming movie “Baggage Claim,” we knew exactly what we wanted to ask her about: that 2010 essay on interracial dating in Essence magazine and her advice for single mothers raising black men, in light of both her admission to suffering from postpartum depression after having her son and the shooting death of Trayvon Martin. Miss Scott was kind enough to speak freely on both topics and this is what she had to say.
Advice to single moms
“Be his mother, be his friend, but don’t be his girlfriend. That’s a big one.
“He’ll have to understand the repercussions of his actions. That’s your job. To make sure that he understands and feels the full brunt of what will happen if he doesn’t abide by the rules of this here house. I’m going to be lenient. I’m not going to lock you in a cage, but society will. So I need you to understand the pros and cons of being a rebel. Real spit.
“Don’t talk bad about his dad. If you have to bite your tongue in half, do that before you start talking crap about his dad. He’ll look at that as a reflection of himself and exactly who you don’t want him to be is who he’ll be because he thinks it’s in his DNA, but it’s bigger than DNA and that’s big.”
How she feels about her 2010 essay on interracial dating today
“I wasn’t talking about interracial dating and that’s where everybody seemed to get it twisted. The article was intended to be called ‘I’m just saying.’ What it ended up being was Jill Scott discusses interracial relationships. I’m a writer and the first thing I know is in order to discuss something I have to do research and that’s not what that article was about.
“It was a response, the internal response, to a happy, healthy, wealthy, black man having a white wife or a white girlfriend. What is that in us? That’s what I was talking about. Not them. Us. So it was pretty unfortunate what I ended up being on this platform where I don’t like interracial relationships. That’s not what I said. That’s not what I said at all.
“I love love. If you love that person, please love them hard and good. But if you are there because you think that having this woman validates who you are as a person, then you’re misguided and misled.”
No argument here. In the video below, Jill Scott also admitted to dating a white man before and also laid out what her idea of perfect man is, including someone who is “hungry for her love making often.”
Go head Miss Scott!
Watch the full interview below. What do you think?
We’re sure you heard the story about how Paula Patton wouldn’t take her high school sweetheart hubby Robin Thicke with her to prom because he’s white. Though it may sound like an odd tale given how long the couple has been together and how in love they appear to be, the notion of being hesitant to showcase your interracial love is not an uncommon one. That’s why when we caught up with Miss Patton at the press junket for “Baggage Claim” we had to ask the star of the upcoming romantic comedy what advice she has for black women who might be struggling with being open with their interracial relationship like she once was. Speaking on her own experience, here’s what we got from Paula Patton on black women dating interracially:
“In high school, I was the vice president of the Black Student Union, that was not a good relationship for me,” she said speaking of her decision not to go to prom with Robin. “That’s when you care what other people think. At the end of the day, you have to go with your heart and that’s something that was also true in the movie ["Baggage Claim"].
“It’s not a good thing to care what other people think. At the end of the day, you need to be happy, no one else is living in your house with you.”
And the church says Amen.
Switching the topic to the 37-year-old’s career, we also asked Paula about her film trajectory and whether she’s worried at all about being typecast. And then we just got downright nosy and asked the starlet who has been her favorite co-star out of all the fine men she’s worked with over the past few years. Here’s what she said:
On Worrying about being typecast and having a genre preference
“I’m not worried about being typecast — not yet — because I don’t think people really know who I am. I’m a little schizophrenic; I don’t know who I am.”
“I love them all, to be honest with you,” she said speaking of movie genres she’s played in. “I love movies. I’ve loved movies since I was a little girl. It’s about the project as a whole. At first I want to make sure it’s a project I want to see, and secondly I look at the role to see is it something that’s going to challenge me and something I can sink my teeth into and that’s how I go forth [with my roles] – not based on genre.”
Her favorite male co-star
“I don’t pick favorites. I cannot answer that question. My husband is my favorite. There may be a random thing here or there that wasn’t perfect, but generally everybody I worked with I loved and they had their own great qualities that are unique to them.
“I will say this much, though, Denzel played such an enormous part in my career. This is my second film having a lead role [with him] and I’ve been impressed with him my whole life. He’s one of the greatest actors of all time, so in many ways, he doesn’t know it, but he’s my mentor and he’s been my mentor. When I worked with him, he didn’t teach me, but I learned by watching. I said if Denzel’s doing it, I’m going to do it, so I’ve taken that with me through every film since, so it was such an honor that he wanted to work with me again, but it was also a refresher course too. So I’ll say he was special as my mentor.”
It’s really a shame that things like this are still happening in 2013.
Married couple Billie and Jacob James-Vogel were viciously attacked by a group of men in front of the SHI restaurant in Long Island City on Saturday, NBC New York reports. According to the distraught couple, the incident all began as they were leaving the Restaurant with a group of friends after celebrating Jacob’s 40th birthday when the men, who were seated in a nearby vehicle, began yelling racial and homophobic slurs at them. When Jacob asked why the men were hurling insults at them, the couple says things took a violent turn.
“I was pushed to the ground, I covered my face and I just got jumped,” James said.”
“I tried, I tried to help,” a tearful Billie interjected.
“While I was laying on the ground covering my face, I got to watch them shove my wife to the ground without being able to help her,” added
“I’m afraid to walk down the street. I’m afraid they may come back for us,” Billie went on to tell reporters.
“In this day and age, in this neighborhood, it just kills me,” she continued.
The couple also expressed that when they tried to get help from the restaurant, they were turned away.
“My husband, with his face pouring with blood, went to that very same doorman and said, ‘Please, help us,’ and he closed the door in husband’s my face,” Billie revealed.
The restaurant owner, however, claims this is not true.
“On Saturday 8/17 an unfortunate incident occured around the corner of SHI Restaurant. The James-Vogel’s were attacked in an alleged “hate crime”. It is being reported that we at SHI denied them help. We vehemently deny these allegations because it is simply untrue.We were not aware of the incident until it was over. In any event we were informed the Police were called and on their way. Neither Billie or Jacob Vogel was turned away. As a business serving Long Island City and beyond, we have a very diverse clientele and are very invloved in the community. We strongly condemn discrimination in all forms and under no circumstances would we turn away anyone who needed help for whatever reason. Our sympathies go out to the james-Vogels and we sincerely hope they recover both physically and emotionally from this devastating incident,” a statement posted on the restaurant’s website reads.
Turn the page to watch NBC’s full report. What are your thoughts regarding this unfortunate incident?
Dating is tough; and interracial relationships come with their own special type of drama. Whether you’re currently dating “outside the team” or just curious about what it’s like, we’ve got some gripes that sistas in this situation will probably understand.
Sometimes social gatherings are awkward: “I can see why he likes you. You’re not like other black girls.” Not all of us get to our post-racial place at the same time. If this is the first time his friends have hung out with a black person, the interracial learning curve can be steep.
From The Grio
Rapper and actress Eve recently made headlines for her comments about wanting her future children with her Caucasian boyfriend Maximillion Cooper to be raised “colorblind,” which were met with some criticism from fans and critics online. “I don’t want them to see color. I never did,” said 34-year-old Philly native said in an interview with Vibe Vixen. “I grew up in the hood and my mother was very good at it not being a black thing, even though I grew up around all black people. I want them to want to know everything about all kinds of races.”
The emcee, whose new album Lip Lock is in stores now, clarified her “colorblind” statement in a video interview with theGrio, saying she’s surprised that the topic of interracial dating is even relevant to the public anymore.
Read more at TheGrio.com.
My man keeps calling me a “n***er b***h” during sex and I hate it.
I have been married for a year and I am at my wit’s end. My investment banker husband is from a White old money family. I am a first generation Black-American woman whose family is from the island of Jamaica. We met at a reunion for the ivy league school we both attended, and he proposed in six months.
We have the picture perfect fantasy life. He wines and dines me and we travel and shop the globe. Unlike all of the Black men I dated in the past, my husband is generous, loyal, committed and considerate. He courted me and I never have to pay for anything. He said I could quit my job and I did. He makes me feel like a woman.
I am a little embarrassed to share our problem. The first time he let the n-word drop was during sex on our honeymoon. When I reacted negatively, he explained that a Black woman he dated in the past enjoyed being called racial slurs. Another time he joked that he had purchased my freedom. He also speculated about whether his family could have owned mine because I have “good hair.” Then he made jokes about my pubic hair. He called it my “negro bush” and referred to himself as a “n***er lover.” He says I am being overly sensitive because he loves me to death and should get a “Black pass” for marrying me.
I told him that I don’t appreciate these comments and he says that my friends and family probably use the n-word all the time. He also asked why Black people can use the word and he cannot. I don’t use the word or believe in the n***a/n***er differentiation. Neither does my family. I am too embarrassed to tell anyone about this because I know they might say: “That’s what she gets for marrying a White man.”
Continue reading this letter at Essence.com.
Stubbornness, immaturity, constant arguing, jealousy— they’re all signs of a teenage love. Insert a black girl from Brooklyn and white guy from New Jersey, and you’ve got a young interracial couple struggling to find balance in a society still far from being colorblind.
Growing up in a conventional two parent household in Westwood, New Jersey, Paul, 19, describes his life as stereotypical. His family is upper middle class; he drives a Mercedes-Benz, having only had one girlfriend before his current relationship, often the girls he’s been attracted to he refers to as “stuck-up.”
He believes the biggest obstacle he and his girlfriend, Corrine, 20, face in their relationship of a couple of months is a difference in their upbringings, not race.
“It’s not so much a black [or] white thing, but that we’re from different areas. She’s from an urban area and I’m from a suburban area,” he says, with his arm resting on the couch behind Corrine. The three of us sat in his spaciously furnished living room of the Queens house he rents with nine other guys. A black curtain hanging from the doorway, separating us from the den area one of his housemates turned into bedroom.
Starting out from an upper middle class family in East Flatbush Brooklyn, Corrine briefly dated multiple guys from different ethnicities and cultures— from a dope boy to a future Olympian— she’s interacted with most.
A month after their first encounter in the car of a mutual friend, the two often ran into each other in the athletic study hall of St. John’s University. They quickly entered a relationship, after spending hours a day together doing school work, both not knowing much about the other. She has only had one relationship prior to meeting Paul. Since then, they have constantly clashed over race and culturally sensitive issues. Corrine says she has had to inform him that comments he has made often offended her.
“[He would say] I’ll act ‘ethnic’ or I’ll act ‘black’ or I’ll act like I’m from Brooklyn. Oh, this is my favorite one— ‘you’re acting like a ghetto black girl from Brooklyn,’” she sarcastically says. “It used to make me so mad, until one day I finally had to let him know, he can’t say things like that because it sounds offensive coming from [him].”
Paul interrupted her, “Coming from me? So what if it came from a black a person?”
“It’s still offensive,” she says.
Paul believes such is an example of being from different areas, saying that one night after a Chinese restaurant messed up Corrine’s order; she called the place demanding the rest of her food after failing to soothe her anger.
According to the National Healthy Resource Center, interracial relationships are most common among the middle class, among those with higher education. College increases individuals exposure to other races/ethnicities and the idea of intermarriages.
Unlike Corrine who has been attracted to guys of different ethnicities. Paul didn’t develop an attraction for black women until college. She often worries about being too ethnic, debating one night while dressing if she should get braids because Paul doesn’t like them.