All Articles Tagged "insecure"

8 Mantras That Kill Insecurity Instantly

August 12th, 2016 - By Julia Austin
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Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Don’t let anybody tell you that they never feel insecure. They’re liars, and liars are the most insecure of them all! It doesn’t matter how much personal work you’ve done, how many times you’ve backpacked through a foreign country by yourself, how dedicated you are to meditation, how much time you’ve spent happily single—everybody feels insecure sometimes. So don’t beat yourself up about it if you thought you personal work was done, and here you are, feeling like a 5-year-old on the first day of kindergarten: terrified. Personal work is a life-long task, and we will all feel insecure from time to time –even healing gurus. Yes, even Oprah feels insecure sometimes. It’s the really strong people who don’t let insecurity cause them to spiral out of control. They face it, work through it, and tackle it head on. Here are mantras that kill insecurity.

How To Handle Insecurity In A Relationship

June 27th, 2016 - By Julia Austin
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We all become insecure in our relationships sometimes. I live with my boyfriend—I got him to give up the lease on the apartment he loved, spend weeks apartment searching, and face a rent hike, all so that he could be with me more. And I still have thoughts like, “He probably wishes I looked more like this or that” or “He is probably bored with me.” No matter how loving and committed a partner is, it’s normal to feel insecure sometimes.

There is a special word for people who never feel insecure,  narcissists. But just because feeling insecure in a relationship is normal doesn’t mean it feels good, or is good. Insecurities can cause you to say or do things that stir up fights, or make your partner feel alienated from you, all over something that was just in your head. Learn to tackle those moments of paranoia and sensitivity, so they don’t blow up your day — or your relationship.

The 50 Second Trailer For Issa Rae’s “Insecure” Has Us Cracking Up

June 24th, 2016 - By Veronica Wells
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Trailer For Issa Rae’s Insecure

Source: HBO

Just a couple of weeks ago, we reported that HBO announced Issa Rae’s show “Insecure” would premiere this fall. And we rejoiced.

But now, with the release of the series’ first trailer, there’s yet another reason to celebrate. With this diverse group of writers, we were extremely hopeful that this series, like the rest of Issa’s work, would be well done. And this trailer proves that our suspicions were correct, thankfully.

Check it out below.

Kudos to the first person who can tell me where we’ve seen the girl in the navy blue sweater, who roasted Issa’s outfit.

For those who need a refresher on the show’s concept, it’s based on Issa Rae’s life and centers around the friendship of two modern-day Black women, and all of their experiences. That friend, Molly, will be played by Yvonne Orji. Jay Ellis will take on the role of her unemployed boyfriend.

I happen to love the summer, but with this coming down the pipeline, it seems like there’s something to look forward to in the fall.

Issa Rae’s Insecure To Premiere On HBO This Fall

May 31st, 2016 - By Veronica Wells
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Issa Rae's Insecure  To Premiere On HBO This Fall

Source: HBO

Issa Rae’s HBO pilot has been a long time in the making. We’ve been reporting about the possibility of one of her shows being picked up on HBO since 2013. Then the story reemerged again in 2015, with sources claiming that the pilot would be making its debut later that year.

But as you know, that didn’t happen either.

Recently though, HBO itself sent out a tweet confirming that the long-awaited show, Insecure, was going to be premiering this fall.

As we’ve reported, the show is loosely based on Rae’s life and centers around the “friendship of two modern-day Black women, Issa and Molly (Yvonne Orji) and all of their uncomfortable experiences and racy tribulations.”

Jay Ellis will star as Rae’s handsome but unemployed boyfriend and Lisa Joyce will play her coworker at an educational non-profit firm.

With her reputation for telling stories about the oft-ignored Black [nerd ,awkward, non-seriously rapping, non-hoop dreaming, non-drug dealing] community, we’re happy to support almost anything Issa Rae is apart of. But what makes us even more excited is the group of writers associated with this project.

Complete. #InsecureWriters

A photo posted by Issa Rae (@issarae) on

See all those faces of color? Looks like progress.

It’s All About Me, Me, Me, Me, Me: How To Spot The Narcissist In Your Circle

February 19th, 2015 - By Alyssa Johnson
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Narcissists are some of the most annoying people because they believe that the world revolves around them. They can show up in the form of your significant other, friend, co-worker or family member, and you might not realize it until they’ve already become a major part of your life. Check out these traits to see if you have a narcissist in your circle.

Thoughts That Are Making You Jealous

April 17th, 2014 - By Ashley Page
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Thoughts That Are Making You Jealous


Relationships are meant to make you feel cared for, loved, and secure, but often times, people in relationships experience a lot of jealousy and rarely does it have anything to do with their partner. Here are some thoughts that are making you jealous and how you can change them.

Building Your Child’s Self Esteem | Mommy in Chief

June 17th, 2013 - By jade
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In this episode of Mommy in Chief, we are discussing how to build your child’s self esteem. It is very important as a mother to build your child’s self esteem from birth. We also have a special treat for you at the end of the segment. You don’t want to miss the cutest little kids expressing how confident and beautiful they are!


Iris L. Johnson, LCSW, PC, is a graduate of Hunter College School of Social Work, Ackerman Institute Externship and Hunter College’s Adoption Therapy Programs. Ms. Johnson has served in leadership positions at several New York City social service agencies and has extensive experience working with young children, adolescents, and families who have experienced trauma and socioeconomic oppression. She has presented nationally on issues that impact women and children, especially families of African descent.

She is a mother of two-one biological and one foster care/adoption.

Ms. Johnson maintains a private practice in New York City and Brooklyn, working with individuals, couples, families, and groups.


Want More Mommy In Chief? Watch these episodes:

 Season 3

Season 2

Season 1


Shots Fired! Drake Says Chris Brown Is Insecure Because “The Woman He Loves Fell In My Lap!”

April 14th, 2013 - By Drenna Armstrong
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Adriana M. Barraza/FavesVision/

Adriana M. Barraza/FavesVision/

Drake hasn’t done much press in a while but on Friday night, he dropped in on Elliott Wilson’s show at East Village Radio (EVR for short) and gave what was a really good interview.  l Miss Info was cool enough to post it in its entirety.

For quite some time, Drake and Wilson discussed music in terms of where Drake is in the recording process for his new album (he’s actually dropping two singles next wee), if he’s working with new producers and how he feels about other artists and particularly, how he tends to “open his door” to new artists and give them a platform.

Awesome, right? It actually was.  Well, within the last 15 minutes, Wilson started talking to Drake about how he hates the “dog and pony show” of listening parties and interviews and the media “entrapment.” Wilson mentioned how when Chris Brown goes on interviews, people always ask him about Drake. Drake, very casually, responded:

“Don’t ask me s–t about that man when I come up there (“there” being at a media outlet for interviews). And leave than man alone. Stop preying on his insecurities. His insecurities are the fact that I make better music than him. That I’m more poppin’ than him. And at one point in life th woman he loves fell in my lap.  I did what a real —– would do and treated her with respect.”

Welp, there it is!  Drake acknowledged that they do have a problem and either it’ll work itself out or not but that the media won’t get “anything” out of a rap battle between them because Drake “does this for real and actually good at it.” Wilson was rapping it up by saying “…yeah, you we don’t need that situation and Drake added, “I’m not thinking about that man or that girl.”

There were no subliminal messages there, folks.  They don’t like each other but Drake believes that the media (and probably his own fans) hype everything up and make situations bigger than they really are.

So what’s next? Talking about each other’s mothers?  Am I instigating? Sure but he did the interview and wanted people to talk so I think this is an even trade.

Check out the “messiest” part of the interview below:

The Most Awkward Date Ever: The Atheist, Insecure Bully

February 19th, 2013 - By Veronica Wells
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When I first learned that I was going to be in New York the summer after my college graduation, I told myself that I wasn’t going to be a “Mary Tyler Moore” or a “Carrie Bradshaw.” I was not one of those small-town girls who made it out of the country, only to be seduced by the big city. I’d been to New York before…it didn’t impress me all that much.

Well, turns out visiting New York, experiencing the city in between conferences and plush hotel rooms is completely different from working in the city and living in Brooklyn. First I fell in love with Brooklyn and then I noticed that Manhattan, where I worked, had an energy that literally and figuratively propelled me to succeed. By the second month, of my three month internship, I was making plans to have a New York address before the year was out. Moving to New York, meant I would need to open a bank account somewhere in the city. Being that there was a Chase on every corner, that was the obvious choice. So one day, after work I walked a block or so to the nearest Chase to open up an account.

As a black woman, you always notice the other black people in the room. This person, I honestly can’t even remember his name at this point, was working at one of the desks. When he saw my “I need assistance” look, he jumped up to help me. I told him I needed to open up an account. We headed back to his desk where he set me up. In between the paperwork and the questions, there was small talk. What do you do for a living? I told him, so he knew my office was literally a block from his own. What do you do for fun? He told me that he was into racing cars. And that’s what he did on the weekend. He told me he knew Nicole Scherzinger’s boyfriend Lewis Hamilton.  At the time I was looking for a story about black people to pitch to a black publication and this seemed ideal.I mentioned that I would like to speak to he and Hamilton if possible. So when he suggested he and I grab lunch next week, I just knew it was because he wanted to talk to me about the racing. I wasn’t really opposed to going on a date with him, but he was too short and not attractive enough for it to be my first thought. Aside from the fact that he tried to tell me that the login I’d chosen for my bank account, should have been different, I didn’t get any seriously bad vibes from him, so I figured going out to lunch, wouldn’t be too bad. Still the day of the date, I gave my mom the address of the Chipotle we were going to just in case she needed to provide the authorities with the address of the last place I’d been seen alive.

He took me to the Chipotle, where his uncle, who worked there, hooked us up.

As soon as I sat down, he says, “Well, what do you want to talk about?” Hmm…nice way to break the ice there pal. I thought it was weird but I just assumed he meant, what questions did I have about racing. I turned away to get my notepad out. Yes, I’d prepared questions. He must have been looking at me funny or something because in the midst of my search, I asked him, “You mean about racing right?”

“No, about anything.”


That’s when it hit me, he thought this was a date. I was immediately disgusted. At him for bamboozling me and at myself for falling for it. But I was already there, so I just needed to make the best of the situation.

Unfortunately, it was easier thought than done. Before our date ended, homeboy told me that he didn’t really get down with his family members and he didn’t believe in God. Now, I’d like to think I’m tolerate of religious beliefs and what not; but as someone who’s super close to their family and someone whose relationship with God is vitally important, I would never fool myself into believing that I could date someone who didn’t share my faith, or at least believe in a higher power. I had pretty much checked out. It was all just too much: the bamboozlement, the lack of faith and the struggle to converse were the three strikes I needed to be done. Thank God I had to get back to work.

I told him we had better be going. As he was walking back to my job, we saw some man, who looked the part of a stereotypical gay man. He was impeccably dressed, with vibrant colors, a man bag and a fresh fade. He looked good. My date didn’t seem to agree though. As soon as the man crossed his line of vision, he started clowning him. “Look at this dude. Walking around looking like a nerd!” I was silent. What was this high school? I told him I liked the brotha’s ensemble. That’s when my date said one of the saddest, most pathetic things I’d ever heard. “Well, you know sometimes you have to talk about people first before they can get a chance to talk about you.”


I scoffed, before I dropped just a little bit of knowledge on him, “I’m sure people aren’t looking at you as much as you think they are.”

It was at this point that I knew that this was the last time I would see dude. He was tragically insecure. Probably one of those kids who was a bully to his peers in high school. I was officially disgusted.

I thought that was the last time I’d see him; but lo and behold as I was walking down the stairs into the subway station, who do I see but my date. I tried to make myself small and take another staircase; but before I could turn and walk the other way, he’d spotted me.



I walked down the stairs slowly. He was with one of his coworkers so I didn’t have to be too accommodating. Thankfully, my date wasn’t going too far on the train and I could get by with fake, close lipped smiles and “umm hmms.” Before he jumped off he said, “Veronica, have you ever been to Coney Island?” I hadn’t and, instead of lying, I told the truth.

“I should take you sometime.”

I just said “Hmm…”