All Articles Tagged "infidelity"

The Science Of Infidelity: 14 Reasons People Cheat

March 25th, 2014 - By Kendra Koger
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A sad reality that many must face in relationships is that we can’t control what our mates do.  Even though you might do your best to fulfill their needs, ultimately it’s up to them if they’re going to be faithful.  But, if fidelity is simple as it seems?  Is it merely just a choice, or are some people more prone to infidelity?  Is there a science behind it?

Well, thanks to the study of many scientists, psychologists, and sociologist, I brought you all 14 studies that dissected fidelity and the myths along with it.  Remember, that with science all these things are theories, and it’s not indicative of every person that you date/marry.  But, the more you know…

I Don’t Want My Stepmother To Watch My Baby, Am I Wrong?

March 21st, 2014 - By Madame Noire
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From Essence 

Dear Dr. Sherry,

My father is very excited because I’m eight months pregnant with his first grandchild, a baby girl. He’s already making plans to babysit and spend time with her. While I appreciate his enthusiasm, my issue is that I don’t have a relationship with my stepmother—it doesn’t go beyond pleasantries whenever were see each other. My dad cheated on my mom with her and subsequently married her years later when I was a teenager. My mom passed away last year. I know of many paternal relatives who would expect me to see my stepmother as my child’s grandmother, but I just don’t feel it’s right. After all, they always told me to accept her as my own mother even when my own was alive. I don’t trust her because she and my dad caused my family so much pain. My dad will always be my dad so I must strive to maintain a relationship with him. I’d prefer my dad to interact with my child in my territory because I don’t want a bond to form between my child and his wife. If anyone will be called “grandma” on my side, it will be my maternal aunts. I don’t know how to explain this to my dad, and my husband thinks I’m being too strict. If we happen to visit my dad, his wife may interact with the child some, but I’d never want to leave my daughter with both of them because knowing their dynamic, she would provide most of the care and have influence over her. If it’s just my dad, it’s a different case.

Am I overreacting?

Signed,

Protective Mother, Cautious Daughter

Read Dr.Sherry’s response at Essence.com 

Did Erica Campbell Deal With Infidelity In Her Marriage Too?

March 19th, 2014 - By Veronica Wells
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Source: WENN

Source: WENN

You may have seen headlines questioning whether or not Erica Campbell’s marriage to Warryn had suffered infidelity, like her sister Tina’s. Fans of the reality show “Mary Mary” know that Erica pretty much addressed this. She all but said that at one point or another someone cheated. Her comments about what had transpired in her own marriage seemed to be pretty clear to me. But for clarity’s sake, let’s rehash.

In a scene where Warryn and Erica are in bed together, she tells him that Tina revealed the whole truth about Teddy’s affair to Ebony Magazine. Not surprisingly, Erica’s husband didn’t think it was a good idea for their brand.

He said:

“When we went through what we went through, I made it a point not be bring everybody else in it because it affects everybody else as well.”

So they definitely went through something…something similar to what Tina and Teddy are going through now.

And then if there was any confusion about exactly what happened, in her conversation with the film crew, Erica says this:

“I understand what Tina and Teddy are going through. I really understand. Just like I was strong, she can be strong. We weren’t the first women to go through that and we won’t be the last. “

For those of you who like to see with your own eyes, here’s the clip from the show.

Seems pretty clear to you right? “she was strong.” “We weren’t the first women to go through that…” Arguably, based on those comments, Warryn was the one who cheated and she was the strong one who was able to forgive and got through it.

So we find it incredibly surprising  that  during an interview with Hip Hollywood, Erica insinuated that perhaps Warryn wasn’t the one to step out of the relationship.

When she said that she knows a little something about infidelity, the outlet pushed her to expound. And that’s when she dropped this bombshell.

“I really understood what she was talking about. A lot of people always assume that it was him. You don’t know who it is. That’s something that’s between me and Warryn. Most people assume that it’s always the guy. That’s not always the case.”

Again, the proof is in the video below.

And while we know men certainly aren’t the only ones who cheat, I’m really not buying what Erica’s trying to sell us here. Seems like she’s trying to mix it up and introduce different theories and speculations so the public won’t have too much insight into she and her husband’s marital issues. Which I understand. Everyone doesn’t want their business on front street. Or they at least want to be able to choose which business they put out there. But she slipped up in that confessional and it can’t be undone.  What’s said on camera, lives on forever in this internet age. If you ask me there’s no two ways about it.

But what do you think? Was Erica the one to cheat in her relationship? Or do you think Warryn was the one and now she’s trying to throw people off the trail?

‘You’re Traveling And Girls Are Throwing It At You And Sometimes You’re Catching It:’ Mekhi Phifer On Malinda Williams Divorce

March 13th, 2014 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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Mekhi Phifer & Malinda Williams

Mekhi Phifer and Malinda Williams appear to have an amazing co-parenting relationship. They seem to get along so well, that most people forget that they were once unhappily married. But the “Divergent” actor says that once him and Malinda put their relationship differences aside, they actually became great friends and even better co-parents.

“I was young, I was like 24 years old and that’s tough being that young in this business, where I was at in this business and being in a tumultuous relationship,” he confessed during a recent interview with Power 105.1’s The Breakfast Club.

“You try to do the right thing, me and her have a son together,” he continued. “Being in that kind of relationship and that jump in my career at that age, it was tough. I can’t front arguing at home and going through all of that because we were both young and with both our A-type personalities—but we’re really good peoples now. We’re better off, like we’re happily divorced, we’re better off friends and we’re raising our son together.”

Though all is well now, Mekhi briefly discussed some of the problems that he encountered during his marriage to Malinda—some of which seem to have been the result of him being unfaithful.

“At the time it was crazy. For a lack of a better term, you’re traveling and girls are throwing it at you and sometimes your catching it,” he confessed. “[I wasn’t cheating] the whole time but you know we were only married for less than a year.”

He adds that for a large portion of their marriage, they were living under the same roof, but separately.

“There was a point where because I bought us a house and we were living on opposite sides of the house. We were technically married but you’re going two or three days living in the house and you aren’t even talking to, you talking about walking up and down the stairs past each other and you aren’t even talking. Then you got out in the world and you have your own group of friends and she has her peoples and you just become separate.”

Of course breakups are never easy, even in relationships that we desperately need to break away from, but Mekhi says it was a huge relief once things were officially over.

“I was kind of relived. I had developed this bald spot in the back of my hair because I was stressed and I didn’t even know it was stress. But once we got separated and I didn’t make it hard, I left her with the house and all of that and just left. I left with my clothes and my whip so then I was cool.”

Though he was relieved to call it quits, he believes that the split was a bit more difficult for Malinda, who later did an interview with Honey magazine where she painted him as an adulterer.

“I guess she was still affected by it. She did this whole Honey article.”

Interestingly, despite previously admitting that he may have slept around while out on the road, he insists that there is no proof of him being a cheater because even though he and Malinda were technically still married at the time of his indiscretions, they were broken up.

“There was no proof of that,” he reasoned. “I said we were basically separated, we were only married a year and then we were technically married but we weren’t together. Yeah but there was no proof of that.”

We can totally respect their ability to put their relationship differences aside to be the best possible parents to their child.

Source: Instagram

Source: Instagram

Watch Mekhi’s full interview on the next page. Thoughts?

Teddy’s Not The Only One To Blame: Tina Takes Responsibility For Her Role In Relationship Breakdown

March 11th, 2014 - By Veronica Wells
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Source: C Nikky.com

Source: C Nikky.com

Tina has been very open about her relationship issues, specifically her husband, Teddy’s infidelity. And while she spoke to us exclusively about how she was able to make it through that dark period in her life, she’s never spoken about the mistakes she’s made throughout the course of their relationship.

That was until she spoke to CNikky.com recently. In the interview, Tina acknowledged that while Teddy was the one who ultimately stepped out, she’d made mistakes of her own.

“I, Tina assume full responsibility for the issues that I contributed to the relationship.  I was controlling, talked too much.  And you can never be heard over me because when I wanna talk I got the floor and ain’t nobody gonna get it from me until I give it up.  Real talk. 

That was the way it was and I have to work on myself. You know what I mean?  I was selfish.  When we started having children it’s like, I forget that I have a responsibility as a wife.  And I’m questioning you like, ‘Really, what you want me to do?  I gotta baby!’  Even though that’s sometimes what you’re faced with, that ain’t the right spirit to do it in. And what happens is, you’re going on and you’re busy and you’ve got children and you’ve got work.  And what happens is your husband is last and you don’t realize that he’s last.  And if he has a problem with being last you’re like,’Well, what am I supposed to do?  You know that I’ve got a career?  You know that I’ve got these babies, you’re the one that got me pregnant!’ 

You want your husband to be the man and to take his place, but because ‘I’m a strong woman, I’m a this woman and I’m a that woman’ we busy stepping on our man.  Making him feel small.  And you know what?  I did that.  And I take responsibility for that.”

Then she explained why Teddy, her husband, cheated.

“I know that I look good.  I know that I’m sexy.  I know that there’s not a problem when the doors are closed.  I know that I contribute well to my household as a woman and all of that.  And that’s not fronting and that’s not lying.  I know that.  But, when there is a lack of intimacy and there’s distance, how beautiful you are, how much you bring it and how sexy you…that does not matter!  Because you want to feel valued and when you don’t feel valued, sometimes you make the choices to go somewhere else where somebody’s paying a lot more attention and that’s what happened.”

I know there are several other outlets reporting this story as if Tina was saying she was taking responsibility for Teddy cheating. But that’s just not the case. She’s simply saying she wasn’t perfect in the relationship and she knows why her husband ultimately decided to cheat.

But what do you think about Tina’s comments?

“I’ve Been With The Father Of My Twins For Four Years And I Know He Is Cheating On Me”

March 2nd, 2014 - By Madame Noire
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From Essence

Dr. Sherry,

I’ve been with the father of my twins for four years and I know he is cheating on me. I have the password to unlock his phone and I’ve seen text messages from other women from dating sites. I even got into his Facebook account and saw that he was messaging other women. Then, I checked his voicemail and I heard a message from another woman. One day, we got into a fight and he told me that he’d only been with me for the last four years because of our twins. I honestly don’t think he loves me at all; he doesn’t even know I found out all of this stuff.

I even set up a fake profile and he responded to and said he was single. When he used to talk about me to other people at a class he would call me his “baby mother,” not “girlfriend.” Over Facebook, he asked a woman in the class if he can gown down on her. Now, again, he doesn’t know I know all of this. I broke up with him and told him he was free to sleep with whomever, but now he keeps trying to sleep with me! He also denies cheating altogether. What do I do with this liar?

Signed,

Anonymous

Well, they say when you go snooping you’ll always find what you’re looking for. See who Dr. Sherry says has the real problem in this relationship on Essence.

Caught In The Act: I Pretended To Be Another Woman Online And My Boyfriend Tried To Date Me

February 28th, 2014 - By Madame Noire
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From Essence 

Dr. Sherry,

I’ve been with the father of my twins for four years and I know he is cheating on me. I have the password to unlock his phone and I’ve seen text messages from other women from dating sites. I even got into his Facebook account and saw that he was messaging other women. Then, I checked his
Voicemail and I heard a message from another woman. One day, we got into a fight and he told me that he’d only been with me for the last four years because of our twins. I honestly don’t think he loves me at all; he doesn’t even know I found out all of this stuff.

I even set up a fake profile and he responded to and said he was single. When he used to talk about me to other people at a class he would call me his “baby mother,” not “girlfriend.” Over Facebook, he asked a woman in the class if he can gown down on her. Now, again, he doesn’t know I know all of this. I broke up with him and told him he was free to sleep with whomever, but now he keeps trying to sleep with me! He also denies cheating altogether. What do I do with this liar?

Signed,

Anonymous

Read Dr. Sherry’s response at Essence.com 

“God, I’m Probably Going To Hell.” Tina Campbell Talks Being In A Dark Place & How Her Faith Brought Her Out

February 27th, 2014 - By Veronica Wells
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By now, you’ve probably heard that Tina Campbell and her husband Teddy are trying to recover from infidelity on his part. While Tina ultimately decided to allow the cameras into her life while they worked on their healing, she said she might have made a different decision if she had known what it was going to entail.

She didn’t realize how broken down she was going to be. In our exclusive interview she speaks about her dark thoughts.

“I think people need to see what real life looks like. It’s not all this ‘Heavenly Father, I’m in a bad way.’ Like I’m probably going to go to hell but before I leave I’m taking some people with me. Either you gon’ help me or this is the way it’s going to be. This is the way I was talking to God because I was in a bad way…it was that bad.” 

Tina said initially she thought revenge was the answer. But quickly realized that avenging herself didn’t relieve any of the hurt. And it was then that she decided to get back to her foundation. During this time, where she was studying the Bible and speaking candidly with God that  she learned her faith wasn’t as strong as it appeared to be on stage.

Erica also explained how she was there for her sister at this time and how the family came together to help her get through this.

Check out the very real and very moving interview in the video above.

Be sure to tune into WeTV tonight and every Thursday at 9/8c to find out how Tina gets through this situation and what else is going on with the Marys.

“My Husband Talks Badly About Me To His Exes”

February 23rd, 2014 - By Madame Noire
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From Essence

Dr. Sherry,

I’ve been in a relationship for almost 13 years and we have been married for five. My problem is that my husband is continuously inappropriately emailing his ex-girlfriends and starting conversations to catch up with them. This leads up to ‘I miss you’ and ‘how things would have been,’ type conversations, and sometimes he even tells them that he loves them. The first time was from 2010-2012, when he began an online relationship with one of his exes. They talked about their good old days and he stated that when he had his stroke a few years back no one was there for him. This is untrue; I was there every day in therapy and even had him released early from the rehab facility when he asked to come home. Throughout this time I was working two jobs to take care of our family because he lost his job, and he would constantly tells us that he hates us and refused to help around the house.

The second time this happened was earlier this year, when I walked passed the computer and saw an email saying ‘I miss you’ and I made him open it. He went on again to start a casual conversation, which again led up to him speaking of feelings for her and stating how he hates to use his ex-girlfriend when he discusses their status. I feel belittled by this, I have been the sole provider for our family of 10 for over a year now, and I feel unappreciated, we just started counseling again with our pastor and were asked what can be done to save our marriage, and I can’t think of one thing. I have tried to keep lines of communication open, but he never wants to talk to me. I feel alone in our marriage and I am ready to just be by myself. I am lost and do not know what to do?

Help,

Anonymous

We thought we knew what the answer to this would be, but Dr. Sherry’s response might surprise you.  Are you buying her breakdown? Read more on Essence.

When It Rains It Pours: Mary Mary Talk Infidelity, Vocal Problems & Their Father’s Passing

February 14th, 2014 - By Veronica Wells
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Mary Mary has been through a lot in the past year. And as they’re prepping for their third season of their hit eponymous WE TV series, they spoke to JET Magazine about some of the toughest challenges they’ve ever had to face.

Erica explained how fans will get to see how they reacted to all of it. ““You see our faith shine, but it was not easy at all– and it won’t look easy watching it,” said Erica about the series.  “A lot of people will see themselves.  There was so much damage and yet still so much work to be done. I learned that every wound doesn’t have to leave a scar that remains for the rest of your life.”

While they were smiling and spreading the gospel through song for their fans, behind closed doors, Tina was dealing with Teddy’s infidelity, Erica ruptured her vocal chords just as she’s breaking out into her own solo career, their relationship with manager Mitchell is on the rocks and the entire Campbell family is coping with the death of their father.

Referencing her personal relationship with Teddy, Tina said, “I still believe in God and love. I will not live in the horrible space of ‘I’m going to fix him’ or ‘I hate men and marriage.’ You do that for a moment and realize it doesn’t undo anything.” 

Erica spoke about how she supported her sister during this trying time saying, “I’ve always been her protector. We are ride or die for each other. When she hurts. I hurt.” 

Tina’s strategy in getting through all of this is learning to let go of the reigns a little bit. “I’ve tried to have all the answers and my life became filled with chaos and anxiety. So now I don’t go overboard thinking I must had things right all the time.” 

The ladies, who are working solo now, each have different projects. Tina is working on a book of devotionals and Erica’s solo album is set to be released on March 25.

Mary Mary’s issue of Jet will hit newsstands, Monday, February 17th.

“Mary Mary” returns to WE TV on February 27th.

You can read more from their interview and check out the behind the scenes video, here.