All Articles Tagged "infidelity"

This Weekend Café Mocha Asks… “Do All Men Cheat?”

February 19th, 2015 - By Madame Noire
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Maxwell Biilieon-420Do all men cheat? What are the signs you are with a cheater? Can you ever stop a cheater from cheating? This weekend on Café Mocha we are talking to Maxwell Billieon about his book, Death of the Cheating Man. He’s going to explain exactly why men cheat and what women can do about it.

Don’t miss it this weekend on Café Mocha Radio. Click here for show cities and times. [LINK: ]

Did Ya’ll See? Segment

Of course, you’ve seen the Twitter war that exploded between Khloe Kardashian and Amber Rose. Rose, the ex of rapper Kanye West, had a comment or two about Khloe’s little sister’s dating choices. Was Rose wrong for her comments? The ladies of MadameNoire give their perspectives on the drama. Don’t miss Did Ya’ll See on Café Mocha Radio this weekend to find out the details.

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Tune in this weekend to Café Mocha Radio and go to MadameNoire’s YouTube page to find out how the ladies weigh in on the hottest topics.

Café Mocha™, radio from a woman’s perspective!

Being Pretty Won’t Save You From Getting Cheated On

February 15th, 2015 - By Toya Sharee
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pretty girls get cheated on too


It seems as though Amber Rose has been winning ever since Wiz Khalifa f**ked up and cheated on her.  Her string bikini Instagram posts damn near broke the Internet and she seems to be holding her own professionally with Nick Cannon as a manager with a set of matching Ferraris to prove it. But even with all them curves and the car to handle them, many fans questioned, “Why in the hell would Wiz Khalifa ever cheat on a woman who most men risked their own relationships just to follow on Instagram?”  To which Wiz casually tweeted, “Yes, my baby’s mother is fine as f—.”

Admittedly I was confused at the whole situation like it was in fact one of the world’s greatest wonders.  Who built the pyramids? Do aliens exist? Why would Jay-Z ever cheat on Beyonce and why in the hell would Wiz Khalifa cheat on Amber Rose with who appeared to a sloppy porn star that he was posted up with in a half-naked selfie session of his own? So I proceeded to ask my husband why any man in his right mind would cheat on any woman that seems to have it all? His answer was as simple as this: “Have you ever heard a man say, ‘Naw, I’ll pass on this pu**y. I have a bad ass girlfriend at home.’?  Yeah, didn’t think so.”

I once wrote an article called “6 Ways Women Try To Keep Men From Cheating That Don’t Work” and the moral of the story is if you have a man that’s fully committed to you and respects and values your relationship, I don’t care if you look like Nia Long or Jackie Long, he will remain faithful to you. A cheater is a cheater. People can change, but it’s usually on their own terms. This means that you can be tighter than a fresh turtle neck, make the best fried chicken with one finger, know the individual stats of every player on the New York Knicks and look like Halle Berry and that still won’t make a man who isn’t interested in committing to you stay faithful.

On the other hand, actor Jesse Williams met a lot of criticism from fans who didn’t approve of his wife who is often described as “average” or “regular”. It’s as if just because he’s all pretty and light-eyed, fans were disappointed that he didn’t wife up some Tyra Chanel Selita supermodel. But the truth is when it comes to any man that’s worth having being pretty won’t save you, and more than that, pretty shouldn’t save you. Pretty fades and the truth is that there are some men out there who are caught up in their own egos and only want to get the pretty girl to cheat on her to prove that they cannot be tamed.

People cheat for a lot of reasons, but if being “bad” is all you’re bringing to the table, you’re going to be quoting a whole lot Mary J. Blige and Jazmine Sullivan heartbreak lyrics on your Instagram. Be honest with yourself about who you’re in a relationship with and their interest in building a life with you. Being faithful to someone is about loving a person for who they are regardless of if they’re tore up in a track suit or fine as f**k in a string bikini.

Toya Sharee is a community health educator and parenting education coordinator who has a  passion for helping  young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health.  She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about  everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog, Bullets and Blessings.


He’s At It Again: Brennan Clay Releases Sexts Allegedly Exchanged Between His Wife & Former Teammate

December 5th, 2014 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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Earlier this week, we told you about Brennan Clay, the former college football player who accused his former teammate and friend DeMarco Murray, who now plays for the Dallas Cowboys, of sleeping with his wife. You can check out the full story here, but in short, Brennan discovered the alleged affair after he found some pretty sexual text messages exchanged between his wife and former friend.

Brennan has since taken back to Twitter to air out more details about the alleged affair by releasing screenshots from some of the text messages.

In the first message, texters, who are believed to DeMarco and Brennan’s wife, Gina, discuss plans to hook up and have sex while Brennan is out of town practicing with the San Diego Chargers.




As previously reported, Brennan has filed for divorce since learning of the alleged affair. The pair had only been married four months. Gina has yet to speak publicly about the allegations and reps for DeMarco have declined to comment as well.

Poor guy.

A Kiss is Just a Kiss…or Is It? Do You Consider a Kiss Cheating?

September 6th, 2014 - By Brooke Dean
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I often find myself turning on the TV during one of my middle of the night feedings with my son. The other night, the movie I caught myself watching as I nursed my baby back to sleep was Sex and the City 2. Being a fan of the series and first film, I had no problem watching this movie again…again. If you haven’t seen it though, there is a scene where Carrie, the married lead, kisses her ex-boyfriend Aiden while on vacation with her girls. She agonizes over whether or not she should tell her husband Big, and eventually confesses to her indiscretion. He was upset and disappointed for sure, but he forgave her. After all, it was just a kiss…right?

But is a kiss ever “just” a kiss when you’re in a committed relationship? Being a married woman myself, I have to admit that if I discovered that my husband had kissed another woman – especially an ex – it would be hard for me to get over it right away. Of course it would depend on the circumstances surrounding the kiss, but no one ever wants to learn that their spouse or significant other is out there locking lips with someone else.

So under what conditions would I forgive him? Well, there’s the “I was drunk” excuse. My husband doesn’t drink, so it would be hard for him to use that one. But for others, a drunken kiss with a stranger at a bar or a club might get him the side eye, but it’s definitely an forgivable scenario…I guess. Or if some random drunk chick came up to my man and sucked his face unsuspectingly and he couldn’t get away, then sure…not his fault. I can get over that.

However it’s the emotional kiss I’m concerned about. Most men, that I know anyway, consider kissing a very intimate act. Some men can even have sex with a woman without so much as even facing her, let alone kissing her during the act. Therefore if I were to find out that my husband had passionately kissed another woman he had an emotional connection with, THAT would be cause for concern. Yes, I’d consider that cheating.

Cheating, to me, is any type of betrayal that occurs within the relationship. While sex can be viewed as an obvious infidelity for most people, kissing is a grey area that can still leave a person questioning their relationship. I’d wonder how close they were and what emotions were attached to the kiss. And I’d also think that a kiss could…and probably would…lead to other things. I suppose if my husband ADMITTED to the kiss, I’d be happy that he (hopefully) stopped it at the kiss before it went any further. However, if I somehow found out, I think I’d be just as upset as I would be if I found out he had sex with another woman. The emotional betrayal would be the same in my eyes.

At the end of the day, everyone has their own threshold for what they can and cannot tolerate and forgiven in a relationship. Some women consider their man flirting with another woman as cheating while others don’t bat an eyelash at it. Some women can forgive a man who has had sex with another woman. And then there’s the nebulous kiss.

Would I kick my man out if he gave a co-worker or an acquaintance a peck on the cheek? No. But if I find out he’s been slobbing down his ex, or the co-worker he spends too much time with, then we will definitely have a problem. Sex with someone else is a deal breaker. But a kiss – it can signal a deep, passionate, emotional connection…or it can mean absolutely nothing. I hope to never have to discern which is which with my husband, but you tell me – is kissing cheating…and if so, would you forgive him?

My Boyfriend Cheated On Me…With A Man

August 30th, 2014 - By Madame Noire
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boyfriend cheated with a man


By YourTango,  As told to Maureen Dempsey

What happens when your boyfriend is gay, and you’re part of his in-the-closet plan?

Mike and I met our sophomore year in college. We quickly became friends and stayed within a tight social circle for the remainder of undergrad years. I think I always had a crush on him, but he was dating someone, then I was. We never made the connection but he was always a constant in my life.

As we wrapped senior year on the East Coast and I tried to figure out next steps, I was definitely influenced by his decision to attend grad school in California. He and our buddy Ryan were off to medical school—but I didn’t want to lose my closest friends. Since I didn’t have anything planned yet, when they suggested I head across the country with them and start a new, post-college life, I accepted.

And new it was: Mike and I began dating. This is what I had wanted ever since we first met four years prior. I wanted so badly to make it work. Dating Mike was eerily similar to being friends with Mike, but with slightly more physical contact. And I mean slightly more. Maybe it’s just because we know each other well, I thought. Maybe this is what it’s like to date a close friend.

And as time passed, we settled into a comfortable relationship. We had sex on a regular, if infrequent, basis, but with time doesn’t romance fizzle for everyone? We also had the inconvenience of roommates: Mike lived with Ryan, and I had two of my own. Finding privacy was like an Olympic event. We chased it, but we rarely found it. Most of our time was spent eating out, watching movies, or hanging out with friends.

Things were going well with Mike; we rarely fought. It was Mike and Ryan that seemed to be doing more of the arguing lately. Ryan had recently come out as gay and was dating a fellow med student. Tensions had risen in the apartment since Ryan’s lifestyle announcement, and I couldn’t help but wonder if Mike was homophobic.

One day I arrived at Mike’s apartment to find Mike and Ryan in a screaming match. When I interrupted, Mike wanted to end the conversation but Ryan continued to egg Mike on, asking him to “let her know what’s really going on.” After half-an-hour of calming Mike down, he finally explained: He and Ryan were lovers. The two of them had been secretly dating since our freshman year of college and dating women to cover it up.

Have you ever felt like you were a a man’s “beard” or date a man who came out of the closet during your relationship? Visit YourTango to read how this woman cut herself off from a life of dishonesty.


True Story: I Had An Affair At 19 With My 40-Year-Old Married Boss

August 25th, 2014 - By Madame Noire
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By Monica Bielanko, From YourTango 

Before you think anything about anything let me just say this: I know. I know it’s not the best thing in the world to be dating a guy twice your age. Especially when he’s married and you work for his wife. I KNOW. Cut me a little slack though wouldja? 

I was brand new to Salt Lake City. I’d finally escaped the Mormon bubble and was puffed with pride over my bona fide college student status. I answered an ad in the classifieds and nabbed employment as a nanny (rich folk term for babysitter) of a cherubic-faced 2-year-old.


Her father, Ryan, was definitely older. 40 to my 19. He was also definitely married. With children. It began innocently enough. After babysitting for the family for a few months, Ryan approached me with an offer. He owned a company and was in need of a “file girl,” who could hang around the office for a couple of hours every afternoon. Ryan agreed to pay me under the table and I accepted. I could babysit my beloved 2-year-old in the morning, attend college classes in the afternoon, then head to the office.


 At the time, my boyfriend, Cody, was in the thick of pledging a fraternity. I found the whole Greek fraternity/sorority scene distasteful at best. When you’ve lived on your own since the age of 16, a bunch of 18-year-old hooligans drunkenly jumping off balconies celebrating the fact they no longer live at home is not exciting, it’s annoying. On the flip side, the dashing, handsome millionaire who drove a Jaguar, dined at all the top restaurants in Salt Lake City and entertained the notion of a career in politics appeared, to me, a king among men. Oh, and not to mention: Ryan was also an excellent father. My crush on him grew. I created excuses to chat with him in his office and I began to look forward to evening babysitting hours because I’d get to see his good fathering in action.


But I was young. I never thought a man as old as my dad would be interested in me. So the night Ryan let his hand linger on my arm after walking me to my car left me reeling.


I drove home with a pack of rabid butterflies banging around my stomach. I debated what Ryan meant with the lingering hand. Was it intentional? Maybe he didn’t realize he’d done it. After a restless night of sleep, I wrote off the lengthy squeeze as the imaginations of a goofy teenager with a crush.

Read more about this affair at 

8 Times Beyonce Hinted At Jay Z Cheating In Her Lyrics

July 6th, 2014 - By Madame Noire
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Source: Marco Piraccini/

Source: Marco Piraccini/

By Jessica SagerFrom Your Tango

Beyonce has insinuated that Jay Z has a wandering eye in her lyrics before. See it all in GIFs!

Beyonce recently hinted that Jay Z cheated on her when she altered the lyrics to her 2008 track “Resentment” live on the power couple’s “On the Run” tour.

Hov nor Bey have commented on the allegations, but Jay’s flirtations with designer Rachel Roy — and to some extent even supermodel Naomi Campbell, according to recent rumors — are said to be behind the infamous elevator brawl with Solange.

However, the now-viral “Resentment” change aren’t the only hints Queen Bey drops that Jay Z may be less than faithful to her. Which means Jay Z, who didn’t pass the bar but knows a lil’ bit, may be dumber than we thought.

To reiterate: Jay Z is married to Beyonce and possibly cheated on Beyonce. On Beyonce. No one cheats on Beyonce because you cannot physically, emotionally, mentally nor spiritually upgrade from Beyonce.

Someone, please. Shake some sense into Jigga Man before Bey realizes she’s an Independent Woman and leaves his ass.

Take a look at Bey possibly putting Jay on blast (and her funny faces) on Your Tango.

My Kid Caught Me Cheating…Now What?

June 14th, 2014 - By Toya Sharee
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caught cheating by your kids


If you’re a J. Cole fan you may have caught the surprise ending of his video for the single, “She Knows”. I won’t give it away if you want to check it out, but the moral of the story is if you’re going to cheat, try not to be messy about it. It always amazes me how people will cheat so egregiously and then have the nerve to act surprised. It’s all fun and games getting it on with your side piece in the same bed you sleep with your partner in until you’re staring at hidden camera footage with the host of Cheaters.

In this digital day of screen caps and Catfish, it’s becoming harder and harder to get your creep on and what’s even worse is that children are increasingly more technologically savvy than their parents meaning that all too often they become aware of a parents’ infidelity before their spouse even does. I had a friend who discovered her dad was cheating on her mom just because he didn’t know what the “Trash” folder was for. In my opinion, this is the worst kind of secret you could ever place your child in a position to have to keep. It’s right up there with the “bad touch/this is something special between me and you” betrayal. And although some may think I’m being pretty harsh with that comparison, I believe it’s ultimately disrespectful to a child when you force them to deal with adult feelings and make mature decisions before they are prepared for them.

Relationships are complicated enough for children. There are some adults who can’t even make sense of their feelings, so to ask a child or even a young teenager to make sense of complicated emotions like love vs. lust and “growing apart” can be an unrealistic expectation.

J. Cole may be relieving some trauma from his child in the “She Knows” video. The lyrics in his song “Never Told” reveal that he was forced to keep quiet about his own father’s infidelity:

“Could it be cause my father let me know
That he cheated, and somehow I never told
I never told
Hey, you wanna be a man?
Yeah I wanna be a man.
A man don’t run tellin’ mama everything he see.
I ain’t gonna tell.
Alright then man. You’re a man now.

When a child witnesses a parent being unfaithful it sends the indirect message that you don’t respect their mother or father. On top of that, you place a child in the painful of position of choosing to be honest and hurt one parent or protect their bond with the other one. It compromises all the values that parents are supposed to want to teach their children like respect, honesty and integrity. People make mistakes, parents or not, but that doesn’t mean your children should be traumatized because of your carelessness.

If a child chooses to reveal to a parent what they have witnessed, the reaction of the parent could have a serious effect on how honest that child chooses to be in the future. If the parent believes them, the child may feel like they are partially to blame for their parents’ breakup. But if that parent doesn’t validate that child’s feeling or flat out tells them they are wrong, they may never feel free to talk openly again. So often what children say is invalidated or not taken seriously. Especially when it comes to the painful truth, so many parents are quick to discredit their children if it means they can spare their own feelings.

I won’t get into a lecture about avoiding infidelity, but I will say if you are going to cheat, make an effort to protect the ones you love, especially your children. And if they do catch you cheating, don’t ask them to keep it on the low to protect your own ass. Being an adult is all about accepting your flaws and taking the burden off your child to be the bearer of bad news. Once your child catches you cheating it’s time to come clean to your partner and explain to your child the best way possible how you and their mother/father will proceed and take ownership of the part you played in the deception. Cheating is not only disrespectful to your partner, but being careless about it is also disrespectful to your child.

Toya Sharee is a community health educator and parenting education coordinator who has a  passion for helping  young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health.  She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about  everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog, Bullets and Blessings.

Art Imitates Life: Music Videos That Aired Out Real Relationship Drama

June 10th, 2014 - By Veronica Wells
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You know what they say. Art imitates life and we all know the best inspiration for love songs is love stories both good and bad. And as much as we love a happy love song, the messy ones tend to catch our attention even more. So let’s jump in shall we.

Love Don’t Live Here No More – How to Tell When You’ve Fallen Out of Love

May 25th, 2014 - By Brooke Dean
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In most troubled relationships, couples know when the end is near. It’s rare that someone is blindsided because there are usually signs when something is off. If it’s a long-term relationship, it may take a couple a long time to actually end the relationship even if they know it’s on its last leg – maybe holding on to the hope that something can be done to revive it. It’s usually pretty obvious when one or both people have fallen out of love, but there are some people who are not sure why they’re staying and have fallen out of love and maybe don’t even know it. If you’re not sure if you are no longer in love, or if your partner no longer is, here are some signs that’ll let you know the feeling is gone.