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Blame it on regular magazine headlines like, “100 sex tricks he’ll love!” or on Adult Videos, but somewhere along the line women picked up some misguided techniques to turn a man on. Ladies: those magazine are written by women. And as for Adult Videos, men watch it because it’s just that—Adult Videos. It’s not reality. When they come to you, they want the real thing.

Every man appreciates a woman who is willing to switch things up in bed. Especially if you’ve been together for years! But, there is a delicate balance everybody—including men—likes to keep in the bedroom. Some like to be controlled. Some like to control. Some like to be thrown for a loop. Some need to be introduced to new things, slowly. But, there’s nothing worse than a bad surprise in bed. So, for the sake of not potentially freaking out your partner, approach these activities like this.