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So you’ve just gone through a breakup and you want to be sure you keep your cool. You don’t want to do anything that makes you look (and feel) desperate or like you’re falling apart. Some acts are obvious to stay away from. Others are a bit subtler until suddenly you feel like you’re spiraling out of control right after doing them. Avoid that “Oh my god…I’m a crazy ex!” moment and don’t do these things.

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I’m an advocate of feeling all the emotions that inevitably come with a breakup. If you don’t hurt every drop of hurt there is, all of your relationships moving forward will be tainted with your unresolved feelings from the past (and you’re in denial if you don’t think that’s true. Ever notice how guys who ‘don’t give a damn’ about their cheating exes also conveniently happen to be paranoid, jealous and controlling? Unresolved feelings at work…) so, this list is not about avoiding the reality of heartbreak. It won’t offer you a quick fix because there isn’t one. In fact, the word “quick” is in direct contrast to the only thing that makes you heal: time. However, there’s certainly no need to make things any worse! So avoid this.

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Breakups can be gruesome experiences but they’re also part of life. If you want to wallow for a little, wallow. But, wallowing for too long can turn into depression. If you need to do something to snap out of it, but you’re not ready to go on dates and you don’t want to talk to your girlfriends about it yet again, try these: