All Articles Tagged "how to get a man"

Love Sabbatical Lessons: 15 Things I’ve Learned from Six Years Of Singledom

August 9th, 2013 - By Stacy Ann Ellis
Share to Twitter Email This

I’ve moved past the embarrassment of telling people that my last relationship (and first real one) was six years ago. Time flies when you’re living single. Admittedly, I moped about the lull initially, but by being an observer of the mating game rather than a participant, I’ve picked up on some pretty nifty stuff along the way. Here’s what I’ve learned about myself and the state of dating from watching, reminiscing, imagining, and reflecting during my love life sabbatical.



The concept of “girlfriending” has escaped me. I don’t remember how to be a girlfriend anymore. The old feelings I had as one are foggy when I try to recollect them. The idea of being someone’s lady seems so thrilling in my head, but I can’t help but feel that when the opportunity comes knocking, I’m going to be an awkward turtle. He’ll be dating an inexperienced pre-teen all over again…

Understanding Attraction: Top 8 Qualities Men Find Desirable

September 26th, 2012 - By gtetteyfio
Share to Twitter Email This

black couple


From Your Tango

Men desire a complex woman who can be any number of things to them at the appropriate time. Sometimes men need a shoulder to cry on, and sometimes men need a beautiful woman to make love to.

Being all of these things will increase the desire men feel for you, and will help you catch and keep the man of your dreams. Below are just a few of the most desired traits that men look for in the women they want to be with for life:

1. Sex. Not just the actual act of having sex, but everything that comes with it.

A lot of women fall in to a comfort zone where they let the freak inside go back inside its closet once a long term relationship is established. Being able to satisfy your man’s sexual desires and have him reciprocate is vital to maintaining long-term happiness.

Don’t be afraid to tell him what to do or where to go and don’t be timid when it comes to his desires either. It helps to get this conversation established early in a relationship. Let him know what you do and don’t want to do in the bedroom, and let him know if/when your list changes.

Remember: You both have the right to be happy and fulfilled!

Read more at Your Tango

More on Madame Noire!

Should I Hold on to My Dating “Must-Haves”?

March 22nd, 2012 - By madamenoire
Share to Twitter Email This

From Your

Do you know exactly what kind of partner you’re looking for? While it’s almost always wise to know what you want, some experts insist that having a list of criteria for your future mate only sets you up for failure. After all, no one will ever meet every single standard … or will they?

In this video, Psychotherapist, Author & YourTango Expert Jasbina Ahluwalia addresses whether having a list of must-haves is a good idea, or whether it’s a recipe for dating disaster.

Watch what Jasbina had to say at Your

More on Madame Noire!

The Definition of a Mean Girl

October 21st, 2011 - By madamenoire
Share to Twitter Email This

By: Makeba Riddick

Have you ever wondered why some women, as beautiful as they are, as talented and educated as they are, as accomplished as they are can’t seem to lock down a love that lasts? This syndrome is no respecter of persons. You could be the President of a Fortune 500 corporate company, winner of numerous beauty pageants or even a Hollywood movie star; these are sometimes the main women that cannot secure a husband. Why is that we ask ourselves?

Then we meet the woman who dated her boyfriend for a year only to be married the next. She walks with an astute confidence that screams “I own half the country, negotiating for the other half as we speak.” When we see this woman out with her man, he looks upon her so adoringly as if her feet shouldn’t touch the ground. And then the bitterness inside all of us whispers, “It’s only a fairytale. Men don’t fall in wholeheartedly on this planet.” But that, my friends, is a myth. Not only do men fall in love on this planet, they long for companionship, commitment and emotional intimacy just as much as women do. It’s a known fact. Don’t believe me, well ask yourself, why is it that the men you are not attracted to continue to call, beg and plead for even a coffee date? It’s because your behavior is unknowingly leading this man to chase you.

The woman who can perfect that mystique with a man she’s strongly attracted to is the definition of a Mean Girl.

Being a Mean Girl is a mindset, a lifestyle. She’s not literally mean. In fact, these women are quite sweet with a tad bit of Beyotchiness thrown into the equation. Mean Girls do not chase. They are chased. Mean Girls let men pursue them while they remain in a position of demure femininity. This behavior draws men closer to them as opposed to scaring them off. Most times men run for the hills when a woman applies pressure in the area of commitment. It takes a Mean Girl to ignite the flames of smoldering chemistry in the beginning of a courtship to make a man realize he needs to be with her.

In the Garden of Eden, Adam was a provider and a pursuer. In the book of Genesis in the Bible it speaks of the MAN being the head of the household and initiating the flow of things. When we as women pursue men in any way, this upsets the natural order causing upset and imbalance in a courtship, thus dooming any hopes of a solid healthy relationship being built in the future. Mean Girls know this and live by this type of etiquette in daily life.

Here are 5 steps in the right direction to becoming a true Mean Girl.

1. Make yourself unavailable to him sometimes. No matter how bad you want to see him, let your phone ring to voicemail every once in a while when you know he’s looking for you.

2. Make your own schedule a priority over his and anyone else’s! Do not cancel your own plans because he called you on a whim to come see you. If it wasn’t planned out in advance, no deal!

3. If it takes him 2 days to return your call, wait 3 days to return his.

Example: You called him on Monday and he didn’t call you back until Wednesday morning. Wait until Friday to return his call. 

4. Do not immediately introduce him to your friends and family. Mystery is a huge factor in becoming a mean girl. In the beginning of a courtship, the more mysterious you are the more intrigued your date will be.

5. Make it plain and clear to your man and the world that you are your biggest fan and that anyone in your life must treat you better than you treat yourself. The mindset of a mean girl doesn’t allow taking shorts from any one. So gifts, affection, adoration and the like are not just a given-it’s a requirement!

Men love women who love themselves more…


Makeba Riddick is a Grammy award-winning hit songwriter, behind many of Beyoncé, Rihanna, Mariah Carey and Jennifer Lopez’ biggest hits. She’s also the co-author of “The Mean Girls Handbook of Etiquette”; a self-help book that equips women with the best practices for navigating the landscape of love and relationships, slated to hit shelves in 2012.  Weekly, Riddick shares personal insights from her successful marriage and contents of the book to empower women, one entry at a time. Follow Makeba on Twitter: @MakebaTheBarbie