All Articles Tagged "how to find love"
As irritatingly new agey as it may sound, you completely control how you perceive the events in your life. If you exercise the control you have to digest a situation any way you want, then the truth is, nothing ever happens to you. You either let things happen, or you don’t. And a great example is that you either let yourself become bitter about love, or you don’t. No matter how many deliriously happy couples there are around you, or how often your mom reminds you your “clock is ticking,” when it comes to being bitter about love, there is nobody you can blame except yourself. Here are 14 behaviors to quit today if you’re ready to stop throwing your plate at the couple kissing on TV.
So you’re talking to a guy online, things are going well and then suddenly, those little satisfying “New message!” icons stop popping up. He’s pulled a disappearing act on you. It’s possible he met someone else. It’s possible his subscription expired. But, if you want a shot at finding love online, you need to be open to the possibility that you said or did something wrong. Like this:
As you struggle through the confusing, turbulent and dizzying world of dating, you’re going to have a lot of people and situations to analyze. But, analyzing is exhausting, and it can get you hung up on someone you should have walked away from a long time ago. So know this: the answer to any situation can usually be whittled down to one of these universal truths about humans.
“All you need is love”? Sorry Beatles but, you need much more. If you put every last drop of energy you had into your romantic relationship, that relationship itself would crumble because you’d wake up one day realizing you were miserable because you had no friends, no career and no identity of your own. Here are signs you’re on your path to that scary epiphany.
You may have graduated from college, landed a great job, have your own apartment and feel like a total grownup but your ideas about men and how to develop a relationship might be stuck in time.
It’s said that you always meet someone just when you weren’t looking. It’s said that love finds you. And, for any single female, these sayings can get annoying. Are you supposed to walk around with your head down, not paying attention to your male counterparts? Ceasing the search for love doesn’t mean you have to become a cold Beyotch to the male race. But, there are some behaviors you should avoid because they will only land you in something you think is love. Like these:
Relationships are taxing, but when you want to make the most of it, you give your all–mind, body and soul (heart). These three pieces comprise your whole and you offer them to your man lovingly. So when that love ends, it can leave those pieces of you lost and drowning in pain and sorrow. There are endless articles online focused on checking in and out of Heartbreak Hotel, but these next few tips focus on reclaiming your body and its strength, shedding vile and useless thoughts from your mind and restoring your heart with peace and love.
“This, to, Shall Pass.”
Take a page from an Oprah’s Book Club favorite, A New Earth, in which the author tells an ancient Sufi story of a king in distress from the never ending peaks of elation and depths of sorrow. On and on like a roller coaster, his life seemed to go.
The king summoned the help of a wise man, and was promptly told there weren’t enough riches in the world to pay for the kind of help he needed. So instead, the wise man offered his services as a gift, with the condition that the king swore to honor the solution. He put the treasure in an ornate jade box. Inside was a ring with the inscription, “This, too, will pass.” A reminder to the king that no matter how crappy things get–it is only ever a temporary state of being.
Think like the Queen that you are, and know that no rain lasts forever. When the pain of the breakup bubbles up in your bosom and tears are inevitable, you have license to close your eyes and recite the words, “this, to, shall pass.”
They give your mind free space, so that you can fill it with the knowledge necessary to move your heart forward, along your true path.
Your most powerful tool during a breakup is your head. Your heart is probably barely muttering some jibber jabber in between sobs. Or it’s saying some BS like “I’ll never be happy.” If you can, try to understand exactly what happened. Not so that you can get the person back, but so that you can avoid the same problem from happening again. And that is going to require a combination of you behaving differently, and you choosing someone who is just different from the last guy. Here’s how you’ll identify how to do that:
Most people, men and women, do want love- and that’s a great goal to have. But are you in a relationship where you continually find yourself going the distance because you think you’re in “love.” Have you ever done unhealthy things or made unhealthy sacrifices for someone you thought you loved? Sometimes we women will stretch ourselves to the limit- all in the name of “love.” And it can to turn out to be quite unhealthy and unhappy for us because sometimes what we think is love really isn’t. And sometimes the one we love doesn’t truly deserve the love we have to give.
Remember this: There is always an emotional and even physical cost to being in love. But there are also wonderful benefits if you’ve found real love. Real love is something that involves work and sacrifice, but it also something that enriches and elevates you to an even better place. It isn’t something where you have to do unhealthy and compromising things to obtain or maintain it.
So before you make any decision for love, think about the cost and benefit. Why? Because your love is too precious to give to just anyone. Here are 5 unhealthy things women often do for love:
Do you believe in love? I do. Whether it’s the belief in one soul mate, or the belief that one has the opportunity for many loves in a lifetime, experiencing love is indeed a wonderful thing. Love is such an incredible experience, and everyone should have. If you haven’t experienced it, or think you never will, I have a few words of encouragement and advice for you. There’s an old saying when it comes to finding love- “For every pot, there’s a lid.” Here are 10 Tips for Finding the Love of Your Life.