AP Photo/Ric Tapia/larrybrownsports

Russell “Hollywood” Simpson speaks to Bossip about his alleged relationship with NFL free agent Kerry Rhodes:

“Kerry paid for everything. We had a very good life together. I always got any and everything I ever asked for. Vacations, red bottoms, the private jet in my video was us going to training camp together. I had a driver and he even gave me his Aston Martin. He later bought me my own car and because I’m not a dumb bi**h I made sure to get it my own name and he paid the whole thing off! He treated me very well. I will never talk bad about him in that way because he was really good to me.

And yet you put him on blast.

Listen, I am always down for the shenanigans. But I also know that if this was a woman doing this, her name would probably be all sorts of synonymous with the term, “bitter jump-off” right now. And I’m not saying that he is. Actually, I’m not saying anything because I don’t know for sure who is or who is not telling the truth. Right now, it is Simpson’s word against Rhodes’s word – as well as some very suspicious pictures. We can infer all we want, but with this week in the media, with supposed reputable news sources getting their facts completely wrong, it has taught us that it’s best not to draw conclusions too quick.

Not that what these two consenting adults do is any of our business anyway, which is why I am happy to read some of the pushback to this sort of sexual outing. To me, it amounts to bullying. And I know certainly this would be the attitude if Simpson had been born with female chromosomes. If Simpson was a woman, we would be questioning where his self-respect and self-esteem had gone for daring to be so tacky as to go public with their intimate details. We would be calling girl Simpson a bird and accusing her of breaking all sorts of side-jawn codes. We would be testifying about how these cluck-clucks “do the most” and pondering about what he hoped to gain from exposing such a relationship. Money? Fame?

If Simpson was a woman, we most certainly would we imploring her to take responsibility for the role she played in this situation and verbally flogging her for the part she was playing in trying to ruin this man’s reputation. And then a friend on Facebook shared this link from Funky Dineva with me and I began to think about the nuances of the If-Simpson-were-a-woman comparison more fluidly:

“There are also certain segments of the gay community who are using this story to promote their anti-feminine ignorance. Sites like Discreet City have been exploiting the story to further their own agenda. The Twitter account for the site sent out a tweet implying that Kerry Rhodes is in this situation because of feminine gay men, and that the actions of feminine gay men like Kerry’s alleged ex-boyfriend are why masculine gay men don’t like to mess with feminine gay men. It amazes me that people will use any situation as an excuse to scapegoat a group of people. Instead of looking at the ways that homophobia prevents all gay men from being viewed in a nuanced light, sites like Discreet City promote the ignorant view that the problems of gay men are rooted in the fact that some men are feminine. It’s as if the site thinks that homophobia would cease to exist if only all gay men were masculine–never mind that a significant chunk of homophobia rests on a overall hatred of men being with other men.”

Simpson gets a pass because what he says is not only scandalous but it also helps to stoke already existing paranoia around gay men, particularly gay black men. However, he does not get a pass from being on the outskirts of what is considered normal and acceptable masculinity. And in a lot of ways, his limp wrist, shrill voice and hip switching while walking are more uncomfortable and threatening than his actual loose lips. And why is this? Probably for the same reasons some call these men, “pu**ies” or “mitches” as a way to demean them.

Of course, the inference here is that anything associated with femininity and womanhood should be considered as weak, inferior, or less than manhood. And over the years I have learned that regardless of sexual orientation, there is nothing more important among men than maintaining “manhood” – or at least the perceived characteristics of what manhood is supposed to mean. It’s probably the reason why AP.9, the unknown rapper whose claim to fame was outing Ice-T’s wife Coco, can still maintain his “dignity,” despite his gossiping. And it is probably part of the reason why Rhodes doesn’t want to come out the closet – allegedly.

Yet and still, I am tired of the kiss and tell genre of gossip. Everybody is trying to be the next Karrine Steffans, but they come up looking just starved for attention. I don’t know enough about Simpson to make that determination, but anyone clamoring to get on reality television has to be looked at in a fishy manner. And unless Rhodes was some sort of right-wing, anti-everything nutjob preaching hate and intolerance while living this secret lifestyle, I don’t really see the relevancy in discussing who he is sleeping with. Honestly, if not for his connection to the NFL – and the homophobic connotation that is associated with the league – most folks wouldn’t care anything about who Rhodes was screwing. Most of you are probably even saying, “Who??” Plus, sexual snitching is just the worst, just think about Ray J.

Listen, I understand his feelings are probably hurt. Nobody – woman or man – likes to be viewed as a secret lover. I can imagine how it must feel to hold hands behind closed doors and once someone comes along, be shoved into the proverbial bushes – not that this has ever happened to me, but I do understand the feeling. With that said, did he not seem perfectly fine and cool with being shoved into the proverbial bushes prior to this very public outing? Maybe he had his money cut off. If you were conscious enough to accept that position before when he was tricking you off with red bottoms and car notes, you can’t quite claim victimhood now that you two are – allegedly – no longer together.

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Bisexuality, for most, simply means duality: the attraction to both the same sex and the opposite sex –male and female. To some, however, bisexuality is reduced to promiscuity –individuals who are considered so perverse that they don’t exclude either sex from their conquests or attractions. And, that notion is perpetuated by many aspects of the media, predominately television; along with the idea that bisexuality is neither a real identity nor a lifestyle choice, but a way for men to curtain their “true” gay identities, and an opportunity for women to engage in non-emotional sexualized play –and that thought directly correlates to the onset of biphobia in waking generations.

Bisexuality is by no means a new occurrence in nature. Throughout recorded history, various humane societies and the animal kingdom have been documented as having explored bisexuality. Ancient Greece and Ancient Rome are prime examples of civilizations recognized as having bisexual tendencies, and the squid, the Bottlenose dolphin and black swans are just on the short list of animals who like to swim at both ends of the metaphoric pool.

The fact that bisexuality is documented does not dissuade naysayers from objecting and volunteering their opinions on the matter. The gray-middle ground, where bisexuality lies, upsets people because it isn’t black or white. Men who love men are always considered to be gay, and are rarely accepted as being bisexual. If he is seen with a woman after he’s already been perceived as gay, then she’s a “f*g hag” or a “beard,” and he’s jumping back inside the closet. And, this is often the opinion from both gay and straight bystanders, who are waiting for him to finally admit he’s gay or to keep lying to himself, and presumably be on the down-low. This is not the case at all, if a bisexual man happens to marry a woman, he is no more inclined to cheat on his wife than a heterosexual man, or he would his husband. To assume that he would have to live a double life in order to satisfy his urges suggests that people don’t believe that bisexuals are able to maintain healthy and loving relationships without straying.

And, for bisexual women, the problem is entirely different. The assumption is that bisexual encounters between two women only happen when alcohol is involved, or during experimentation. Or, if there is a relationship, then it is just a phase. These women are expected to be having “fun” prior to the presumably superior life of hetero-normality. This, again, is reductive. The assumption not only cheapens the idea of female sexual experiences of women, but it suggests that a same sex relationship involving a bisexual woman is not a lasting one.

The challenge for society is to understand that fluidity in sexuality doesn’t simply occur when a person is drunk or horny (not every bi-person is hetero-flexible or straight-when-sober), it occurs through actualized attractions and personal honesty. Bisexuality can become more accepted if individuals refrain from jumping to conclusions about another person’s sexuality based on who others are dating or having sex with –also being candid and frank about one’s own attractions makes people less bigoted toward other people’s attractions and choices.

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I’m not a gay man and I can’t pretend to speak on their behalf, but I have plenty of gay friends to know they aren’t all flaming, finger-snapping, neck-rolling stereotypes.  I may not completely understand being sexually attracted to the same sex personally, but I sure as hell know what gay ISN’T.

When the headline “Kevin Clash Gay, But Not Molestor: Accuser Recants Statement” hit the internet earlier this week, there was a part of me that was a mess of confusion and disappointment.  More so than being disgusted at the allegations made against the popular Elmo puppeteer, I was also jaded at the excitement the media seems to get off of including the word “gay” and “sexual predator” in the same sentence.  It reminds me of popular stereotypes in which gay men instantly get labeled as child molesters  or even use of the common disclaimer “No homo” when a man compliments another man’s appearance.  It’s not to say that there aren’t homosexual child molesters, but gay isn’t some kind of season pass to a world of promiscuous sex, leather chaps and deviant behavior.  Gay can mean a lot of things to a lot of people, but listed below are a few things that it just isn’t:

Source: Blog.VH1

Last night, VH1 closed the chapter on the second season of “Basketball Wives LA,” and though most of the dirt was dished out on part 1 of the reunion special that aired last Monday, there were quite a few random details that got exposed last night. The drama mainly centered on Laura and Jackie, and their reactions to this past season confirmed they’re even more cooky than we originally thought. Check out the highlights.

From HelloBeautiful.com

Dear Gay Best Friend,

I just read an article and you answered a question if you wanted to know if your male mate was gay. I liked how you answered the lady with the famous athlete question. I would like to know if you can answer mines.

Ok, my son’s father makes me think he has some tendencies of being gay or bi- curious. I was wondering if he is just lost in his sexuality of knowing what he wants. He has dated many women in his life and always maintains or keeps one. But, he cheats with many women and that’s why I’m not with him now.

But, the reason for me thinking of him being gay is because he likes looking at naked men private parts, but tries to be funny about it. He loves for a woman to play around his anal area during sexual intercourse. He wanted to take my dildo toy home after we had sex. He also makes funny statements sometimes as in, “I love Jay-Z and I will give him 0-ral sex.”

I was just wondering if his dating so many women and always cheating on them is a cover-up to him hiding his homosexuality? I am wondering and wanted to know so I can help him so he won’t keep hurting women, especially if that’s not where his heart truly is. Thank you for your time, but I truly do need your help. – I Think My Son’s Father Is Gay

Check out whether Terrence Dean, a.k.a. the gay best friend, confirmed this woman’s suspicions on HelloBeautiful.com.

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Source: cwphilly.cbslocal.com

Chris Brown and Raz B have already shared some nasty twitter exchanges in the past but Breezy is threatening legal action now that the former B2K singer isn’t just talking ish anymore, he wrote it down in a book.

In what can only be described as a money making ploy—because no one cares enough about him otherwise—Raz B is releasing a memoir titled, This Boy’s Life, but he’s doing a lot more than talking about himself and the past molestation claims at the hands of B2K manager Chris Stokes. He’s outing several male celebrities like Omarion and the rest of his band; Lil Bow Wow, who he says was involved in sexual relationships with other B2K members; and he also says Marques Houston molested him.

His claims against Breezy go just a tad bit further, though. In one section of the book he wrote:

“I’ve never had issues with substances; even when I was at my lowest. I always thank God I never had a serious addiction like the Weezy’s [Lil Wayne] and the Breezy’s [Chris Brown].”

Then he adds:

“What type of man hits a woman? A man that does not honor womanhood or the fragility of it. I also read that most men who beat women have latent homosexual tendencies. So there you go.”

Really Raz? Breezy had about the equivalent of his “Good Morning America” flip out on Twitter when he heard about the accusations.

“Lying about somebody in a book is called defamation of character,” he tweeted. “Keep feeding people bulls**t and ima end up owning you and that book! RAZ B! God bless… My lawyers are handling it! Lol ima chill!”

Interesting no one else has spoken up about the book, although for Lil Wayne there would be no point. We all know he loves his purple drank. Raz B’s book comes out in September so there will likely be another media firestorm around that time, if anyone still cares at that point. I get wanting to share your molestation experience—somewhat—but outing other people, whether it’s true or not, is not cool.

What do you think about this book and what Raz B is claiming?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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“Sex and the City’s” Cynthia Nixon has dealt a strong blow to the LGBTQ community with her comment about choosing to be gay—at least from their perspective.

She was recently profiled in The New York Times and she told the newspaper she rejects the skepticism from members of the gay community who find the fact that she wasn’t always a lesbian disingenuous. She told the publication.

“I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me. A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not.”

It didn’t take long for members of her community to fire back at her word choice, suggesting she’s falling into the right-wing trap, but if that’s Cynthia’s experience are they any more right to police her sexual orientation than heterosexuals who they say concern themselves with homosexuality far too often.

It’s interesting because one of the arguments you hear so often from the LGBTQ community—in addition to the stance that you are either born gay or straight—is the idea of sexual fluidity and that many people’s true sexual orientation fluctuates many times throughout their life. Cynthia’s midlife entrance into lesbianism illustrates that perfectly, yet she’s rejected by her very own.

I can definitely see how her statement flies in the face of one of the gay community’s biggest fights of being “born this way,” especially when it comes to gay women. Being a lesbian is often seen as more of a fad than being a gay male, particularly when the woman is more feminine or aesthetically appealing. Plus Anne Heche didn’t do the LGBTQ community any favors when she went from men to Ellen and back to men, but as Cynthia said, you don’t get to define her gayness for her. I think if the LGBTQ community wants to be able to define their sexuality to heterosexuals, they should let homosexuals do the same within their community.

What do you think about what Cynthia said? Does the gay community have a right to be upset?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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Another interesting trend may be on the rise among teen girls—sexual contact with other girls. In a comparison of data from 2002, a new analysis of the U.S. National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG) from 2006-2008, found that 17-year-old girls were significantly less likely to have been heterosexually active (63% v. 46%) but more than twice as likely to have had same-sex contact (5% v. 11%).

While this trend likely explains why these same girls were less likely to be pregnant (18% v. 12%). The fact that this group of teens was also more than three times as likely to have used emergency contraception (5% v. 17%) doesn’t quite fit the same-sex contact finding. But the drop in the percentage of 17-year-old girls who had ever been pregnant does, although this stat could also mean girls are waiting longer to engage in heterosexual activity.

Given the small sample size in this study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior—roughly 200 teen girls—the researchers say that more data is needed to determine whether this is a trend that is expected to continue, and what factors may have contributed to the change within the four-year span. They do note, though, that fluidity in sexual behavior and orientation is particularly common among young women and this finding may be an example of just that.

I think it’s also possible that girls may be more open to admitting same-sex contact now, as the idea has become increasingly less taboo within a very short period of time. Plus the percentage of girls who engaged in same-sex contact was still quite low.

What do you think about the idea that girls may be having more same-sex contact?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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I’m sure you’ve caught on to the hilarious Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl web series by now. If not, you should definitely check it out. The episodes follow J (Issa Rae, creator of the show), the awkward black girl, through various scenarios like hating your boss at work, crushing on a coworker, dating “white Jay,” and a million other awkward situations that 99% of the population can relate to.

So far, the series has received overwhelmingly positive responses, but writers at the Crunk Feminist Collective recently wrote an open letter to the creators of Awkward Black Girl, questioning some of their comments related to transgender and homosexual individuals, particularly in episode 11 when CeCe calls white Jay’s ex a “tra**y Itchbay in heels.”

Here’s what the letter said about the term:

The word tra**y perpetuates violence and divisiveness amongst women by relying on the idea that trans women are not “real” women; it suggests that White Jay’s ex is somehow less than the main character J.

The word “tra**y” has a very real history of violence and discrimination, often targeting trans women. It has been used as a slur, as a way to objectify women, and as a way of denying the personhood of trans women on the basis of appearance.

CFC also called out J’s use of the phrase, “no lesbo,” which really mocks the male version, “no homo,” often used to describe a “questionably heterosexual” situation. They wrote:

“Phrases like ‘No lesbo’ and the use of affected speech to imitate hard of hearing people detract from the vision of creating representations for the rest of us who are all too often maligned in mainstream media.

While CFC noted that they love the series, they say they hope future episodes will not use the lives of marginalized individuals as punch lines. From my view, what makes the series so great is that it’s an equal opportunity comedy, pointing out the awkwardness we all deal with across race, gender, age, and sexual orientation lines.

On Twitter, @issarae said a response letter would be coming soon and pointed out, “Respectfully, ‘Awkward Black Girl’ was never meant to be politically correct. We poke fun at ignorance.” Agreed.

Have you checked out the Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl? What do you think about the Crunk Feminist Collective’s perspective on the references to transsexuals and lesbians? Do they have valid points or are they being too sensitive?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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By Charlotte Young

When Stuart Wilber discovered many large corporations often give a portion of the earnings bought through Internet marketers to conservative Christian organizations, he didn’t see it as a charitable act. He saw large companies funding hate groups. According to the New York Times, Wilber, a gay man from Seattle, believed these large corporations shouldn’t fund Christian groups that proclaimed anti-gay messages. In July he not only started a petition, he also started a heated, online retail battle.

The Charity Giveback Group (CGBG) was the Christian-oriented Internet marketing group that Wilber stumbled upon a few months ago. Through CGBG, he learned that many large retailers, including Microsoft, Apple and Netflix, sell their products and donate a portion of the profits to conservative evangelical groups such as Family Research Council and Focus on the Family, which are known for their strong anti-gay stance.

Outraged, Wilber created a petition on Change.org which gained 520 supporters on its first night alone. In response, Microsoft quickly and quietly stopped its donations. Soon other petitions began to circulate causing Apple, Macy’s and almost 100 other businesses to also stop their donations through CGBG.

A counter-campaign was also started by the conservative Christian groups with the title, “Please Don’t Discriminate Against My Faith.”

“People have been misled. The retailers are not donating to anyone; they are simply paying a commission to get traffic,” John Higgins, the president of CGBG, told the NY Times.

The situation has sparked outrage on all sides. Wilber and other gay-rights activists are shocked to learn that large retailers are contributing to anti-gay messages while often touting diversity platforms. Conservative groups feel attacked for their stance on sex and marriage and companies feel caught in the middle as they attempt to please both sides.

While none of the companies have responded to media over the controversy, Microsoft and Apple have quickly decided to remain away from the CGBGnetwork.

Other companies, such as Delta and Wal-mart, have reconsidered and joined again with CGBG. Representatives from Wal-Mart and its sister company Sam’s Club said that they changed their minds as the company serves over 43,000 organization with a wide range of interests with diverse viewpoints.”

Delta divulged that they realized how important it was to their faith-based clients. A representative told the NY Times that while they support these clients, they do not want to be involved in any political debates, only in flying planes.