by Selam Aster

I must admit, like a lot of other folks, I was shocked by the news of Heidi Klum and Seal seperating. They looked like a happy couple after all. They’ve appeared to be going strong for over 7 years as a couple and as parents to their four children. The key word here is “appeared.” Like most folks, I allow red carpet images of smiling celebrity couples to convince my brain that these folks are living the ideal glamorous life. It’s the same way we look at someone’s Facebook page, filled with an endless supply of party photos, and convince ourselves that their lives are much more exciting and fulfilled than our own.

What I’ve realized about relationships and couples, even the ones I know personally, is that you NEVER know what goes on behind closed doors. It’s easy to appear happy at public events and outings when drinks are flowing and the environment is conducive to socializing rather than dealing with household matters. It’s important for everyone to understand the difference between private and public life because we non-celebrities often compare ourselves to celebrities, whom we assume have it better than us.

Personally, the announcement by Heidi and Seal came as more of a shock for me because of the circumstances of their relationship. Unlike Katy Perry, who I believed to have foolishly rushed into marriage at a young age, Heidi and Seal married when they were 32 and 42 respectively so they weren’t exactly young’uns. Not to mention, they made a very public and concerted show of their affection whenever they were doing press.

But again, I don’t know the situation and I don’t know the reasons behind the demise of their union. What I do know is that I shouldn’t compare my own relationships to that of Jay-Z and Beyonce or Brad and Angelina. Everyone would agree that maintaining love in a relationship is a delicate matter that only the two people involved can understand and nurture.

If anything, I’ll only make assumptions about the couples I actually know up-close and personally like my parents. Like I said, you can’t know everything about another couple but excluding celebrity couples from your assumptions and comparisons would go a long way in balancing one’s sense of reality.

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