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You’ve heard it many times before but that’s because it’s true: fighting is a necessary part of a healthy relationship. If you’re with a guy and you fight here and there, consider yourself to have found a good match. Fighting doesn’t always have to be detrimental to a relationship. In fact, it’s human nature to have conflict. However, in order to keep fighting between you and your man beneficial, there are some dos and don’ts that definitely need to be followed, or else fighting can become a relationship ender.

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You and your man are two different people. You have two different minds, you’ve had two different days and so, sometimes, you’ll need different things. It’s natural in any relationship to pass on things you want, to let things run smoothly but there is a difference between compromising for the relationship, and compromising who you are. A pretty easy indication that the latter is happening is that your stomach dropped a little when you read that. But here are some other situations in which you can find the difference.

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Maybe to protect ourselves from being “duped,” or maybe because we’ve been taken advantage of in the past, many of us can get in the habit of keeping score in a relationship. Anytime we’re going to do something nice for our guy we ask ourselves, “Would he do this for me? Has he done this for me? Does he deserve this?” But keeping score in a relationship is the beginning of the end because that’s no longer love; that’s competition. Here’s why it ruins relationships.

Think about it. You’ve been dating this one person for awhile. Things are going great. Trust is growing as are emotions and one day you start to think that this relationship could be the one that makes you truly happy, inside and out. Though there’s no science to knowing whether or not your relationship is the one, there are some tell-tale signs that you’re in a good relationship. Here are 15 ways to know you’re in the right relationship.

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You celebrate and share your relationship.

Though you don’t have to scream it to the world or have your partner’s name tattooed on your body, if you find that you openly admit to your relationship, that’s a good sign. Openly and willingly introducing your significant others to friends and family members is a sign that you’re proud of and believe in your relationship.

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A healthy relationship is the perfect balance between comfort and something that pushes you outside your comfort zone, rational and a little bit of fantasy, sexual and emotional chemistry. Lean a little far one way or the other and you have a relationship that could easily be broken by the ever-changing climate of life. Don’t even base your relationship on these elements.

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Every boyfriend needs a little nudge from time to time. Men are not as in tune to the more complex layers of a woman’s emotions—the unsaid points we are trying to make, and the subtext in our text—so we need to lay things out clearly for them. But, there are some things you should simply never have to ask your partner to do. If you’re having to, then you have a problem that’s rooted far deeper than simple communication.

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When you bring two people together, each with their own separate stresses, needs, wants and expectations, you’re bound to experience bouts of feeling unsatisfied in your relationship. You can’t possibly anticipate somebody else’s needs all of the time, and your partner cannot possibly always anticipate yours. That’s why the saying goes that relationships are complicated. It’s really not as simple as, “If I feel happy I’ll stay, and if I feel unhappy I’ll break up with him.” If it were, you wouldn’t have opened this article now would you?

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“I miss the way we used to be.” “Where did the woman go that I fell in love with?” “You’ve changed.” These are painful things to hear from your partner, but many women do once a relationship has gotten serious. Have you ever noticed that often just as things are getting great, they fall apart? Just when you thought your love was solidified, it vanished? Well, bad news: it might be your own fault.

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It’s the burning question that you ask yourself every time you’re a bridesmaid (yet again), or you go through another breakup, or a man tells you he’s not looking for anything serious but you secretly know he’s just not looking for you. And when you start to answer it, you probably start to analyze yourself, and your exes. You try to understand what is wrong with you, and what was wrong with them. But you’re missing the point, which is this: it’s not about who you are as an individual, or who he is as an individual. It’s about what happens when the two of you come together. A guy might seem great on paper, but for some reason, it didn’t work. And that’s because what’s more important than character traits, is dynamics. Like these:

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I’ve heard from too many women infuriating, irritating and unacceptable (in my opinion) stories about things their boyfriends do. And they wrap these stories up with, “It’s just one of his quirks.” QUIRKS? A quirk is cute. Typically, a person realizes they have a quirk, and they try to work around it. But, some attributes are simply flaws—they make your relationship harder, they make one person have to work more than the other, they cause pain and they cause real fights. Know the difference between a quirk and a flaw because, a quirk can be accepted. A flaw is what it sounds like—it flaws your relationship—and it should be worked on, not accepted.