All Articles Tagged "happiness"
I’m not in control of my happiness. That is the theory that I accepted for a very long time.
It appeared that whenever things were going too well, for too long, some unknown force would ultimately descend upon me and effortlessly snatch away any feelings of well-being I was experiencing. I attributed this abduction of my happiness to the fact that I had merely exceeded my “happiness quota.” Essentially, the universe just wasn’t going to let me get too happy. I deduced that I had a happiness limit and if I came too close to that limit, or God forbid exceeded it, the universe would be forced to cut me down to size, humble me and remind me who was in charge.
Believe me, I had very good reasons to believe this far-fetched theory. One example of an swift and forceful response to an overabundance of happiness happened in March of 2012. During the first few months of 2012, things had been going very well for me: my career was zooming forward at the speed of light, I was six months pregnant and excited to meet my new bundle of joy, and my personal relationships were flourishing. Things were going really well. But as usual, this feeling of “well-being” would prove to be short-lived.
I remember commenting to a friend that I sensed I was getting too close to my “happiness quota.” “You know, things can’t be too good for too long,” I told her. She scoffed at me and replied that I was just being paranoid, (I mean who really believes that their happiness is rationed out by some mythical energy source that rules the universe? … Me, that’s who.)
Within a week of that ominous conversation, the biggest life-changing incident that has ever happened in my life took place. I accidentally ran over my then two-year-old daughter with the family car and was subsequently run over myself after throwing my six month pregnant body under the vehicle in an effort to save her.
Read more on MommyNoire.com.
“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.”
When the work you are doing fills you with happiness and a sense of purpose it’s easy to wake up every morning and lose track of time in the doing of it. The ease with which you give your time, take risks, and allow your creativity to flow will naturally lead to success.
Not many of us can say we are doing what we love however. Try finding the joy where you are. There are pros and cons to every job, think of the tasks you actually enjoy doing and work to master those areas. By honing in on what you do love your mood will remain improved even when doing the not-so-great bits. You’ll be surprised how far a better attitude will take you and how others (including your boss) will take note of your skilled approach to the key job functions that you have mastered.
Actress Jenifer Lewis Talks Self-Love And Setting Standards: ‘I’m Waiting For A Man That’s Not A Boy!’
Baggage Claim actress Jenifer Lewis has never been afraid to keep it real. The 56-year-old Hollywood vet recently opened up to Necole Bitchie about self-love, what she’s looking for in a man and Black women and their health. Check out some highlights from her interview below.
On how she stays so vibrant:
“I drink a lot of water… fruit, vegetables, a little protein. I exercise. Pilates, you know strengthening. You have to take care of yourself.”
On the importance of being healthy:
“And I just want to say this out loud, 4 out of 5 African American woman are either obese or overweight and I want them to take care of themselves. I’m not preaching, it’s just, why be successful if you’re not healthy? I say that every time I get in front of microphone because I love my girls. So take care of yourselves!”
On dating and relationships:
“It sounds cliché but you gotta love yourself so that love won’t be a stranger when it shows up. You’ll know love. You’ll know what it looks like. You’ll know how it makes you feel. I’m waiting for a man that’s not a boy…or shall I say, I’m taking care of myself until he shows up. Because I ain’t looking. That’s too much drama. It’ll happen if I want it to happen.”
Watch her interview on the next page
He doesn’t “bless me” when I sneeze, or ask me if I want the last chicken wing. He frequently reminds me of the costs of past meals and activities and he informs me of his attraction to every thin woman we see on the TV screen. He doesn’t always vocalize his affection or adoration, and he doesn’t always vocalize his anger or when he’s hurt. He has no interest in the idea of family or marriage, or any set plans for his future. He has no sense of time or romance. After we’re done having sex, his first question often is, “You took your birth control, right?” He can be immature and, at times, premature. At the very same time: He’s passionate and his kisses incite heat. He never looks at another woman in my presence, and his eyes constantly tell me that I’m beautiful. He’s handsome and caring. He’s patient and he’s calm. He would never make me cry on purpose, and when I do cry, he does his best to correct that. He holds my hand at dinner tables and on walks down the street. He responds to my mistakes with forgiving laughter; and when we rest, he folds me close into his body like a well-kept secret. He’s knowledgeable about things that matter and plenty of things that don’t. He reads and he writes. He opens my eyes to new music and culture.
He probably isn’t my soulmate or “the one,” a concept that shouldn’t concern me so much in my 20s, but somehow it does, and on some days, the fact that he isn’t makes me sadder than it does on others.
When you go to sleep at night, the way you feel about yourself isn’t determined by what happened that day — what other people said or did — but rather how you responded to the day’s events. Here are 14 little daily adjustments you can make to be a little prouder of who you are.
Keep your eyes on the prize, ladies. The sexual revolution, Gloria Steinem, Alice Walker, Oprah, the shifting economy… there are countless components that have gone into the progress and success of women in the world, in the home, and in the workplace. Women have advanced in media, in politics, in sciences and in big business, and they’ve done this by utilizing skill sets, and by identifying and actualizing goals that they’ve set for themselves. While every woman can’t be Condoleezza Rice or Martha Stewart, every woman can set certain goals in place for herself so that life may be as fulfilling as possible.