All Articles Tagged "happily single"
Being single brings a variety of emotions; from frustration due to the barrage of inquiries surrounding your relationship status to worrying if you’ll ever find ‘the one’.
Fortunately, relationship experts say that the single life should be a time of enjoyment and for self-discovery. In fact, sex and relationship expert Dr. Gabrielle Morrissey said, “Being single is when you live for yourself, not just by yourself. Being single should not mean being solely on a quest for love.”
Below are tips that can help you experience a healthy single life.
Try traveling alone. You’ll be able to set the tone on where you decide to stay, eat, and places to visit while in that specific location, without having to compromise. Kristen Newman, author of the travel memoir What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding, thinks that people are afraid of looking like a loser while traveling alone. “It’s the same how people don’t want to eat dinner alone,” she said. “I think people are afraid of being lonely, of being scared, of looking like they didn’t have anybody.” Step out of your comfort zone and see the things you’ve always wanted to.
Treat yourself well
Like traveling, you don’t need to be in a relationship to have fun! Cook a nice brunch for yourself and grab a huge wine glass (like the one you use while watching Scandal), make a mimosa and enjoy yourself. Get massages and manicures and pedicures regularly, just for kicks. Go see a movie, by yourself, and actually indulge in popcorn, chocolate candy and a huge drink when you do. Whatever you decide to do, show yourself love. As Iyanla Vanzant put it, “Learn to appreciate quiet times alone with you. When you are alone, you can pamper yourself and be extravagant with yourself.”
Become financially literate
Making money is great and spending it freely while single is even better. However, becoming financially responsible and taking this time to truly figure out your financial goals can really be an asset in your future relationship. Jay Hurt, relationship coach and author of The 9 Tenets of a Successful Relationship, said that finances are often stressful in marriages and being prepared can help minimize tension. “Actually putting your expenses and income on paper forces you to think about where all of your money is going.” Hurt said. “It’s a great habit to start while single, which will help to build wealth (together) down the road. Make it a point to check your credit score and find ways to continually maximize your score.”
Sleep in the middle of the bed and spread out. In fact, fill the whole house with candles and flowers. Appreciate the space that you have and use it, while you have the chance. Also, explore career opportunities that might call for you to relocate. This is the time of no compromise or sharing so enjoy it. Bob Rosen, author of Grounded: How Leaders Stay Rooted in an Uncertain World, believes it’s a necessity. “To be a healthy, grounded person, you need to be selfish,” Rosen said. “If you’re looking to a partner to fill your emotional needs, your relationship is vulnerable. The best relationships happen when two adults show up and enjoy each other.”
Figure out what you want
Relationship expert Susan Winter said that being single should be a beautiful and rich experience. We should get to figure out what we do and don’t want, and in the meantime, do what we want. “Our time is our own. We can go out with our friends or luxuriate in a movie (we like) at home. We have the rare opportunity to explore what we want, when we want and without constraint.”
This is the time for true self-reflection and self-development. After all, the more you learn about yourself and appreciate yourself, the more enriching your future relationship will be.
Last night I was catching up on DVR’d episodes of the Wendy William show. During her “Hot Topics” segment, she mentioned that Jennifer Lopez was spotted having dinner with her ex Casper Smart. In relaying the story, Wendy declared that she believes that Jennifer Lopez is the type of woman who always has to be “booed up” with someone, and that she’d never be caught going out to dinner solo. She had to have a man around at all times for fear of being alone.
Now, I don’t know how true that is in J Lo’s case, but I think some of us can relate to not wanting to be alone at some point in our lives, even if the feeling was fleeting. I personally enjoy my own company and was usually happily single when I was single. But there were times that I wanted a man around to do certain things with because I felt that stepping out alone would make me appear lonely…or even pathetic. I realize now how silly that way of thinking was, but some people have a hard time stepping out of their comfort zone when it comes to being single – especially if they’ve just come out of a long-term relationship or always seem to be dating someone. If you’re newly single and having a hard time adjusting, or feel that it’s actually painful to be alone, here are some things to try so that you can fall in love with YOURSELF and start living and enjoying life alone without feeling lonely.
When a bitter breakup has brought you to your emotional knees, it’s hard to imagine that you’ll ever love again. But like the saying goes, time heals all wounds – and if you open up your heart again, it’s possible true love can find you. I’m not suggesting that you jump right back into dating before your tears have dried and your hurt has healed; it’s actually wise to take some time to reflect and reconnect with yourself after a breakup. But once you’ve let some time go by, you may start to wonder if you’re up for the challenge of dating again. Not sure if you’re ready yet? Here are some signs you may be ready to give love another try.
It’s always nice to see couples cuddled up in love and experiencing the true essence of a fulfilling relationship. There is nothing more special than seeing two people happy together. Yet there are some quirks that couples have that make it hard to determine if they are just cute or crazy.
Below are a few interesting things that couples have shared with me that they have been either respected for or highly criticize for. I will let you be the judge and tell me if they are crazy or cute: