Source: lipstickmanual.com

“You know better than to be walking around with your head lookin’ like that.”

“Why do you want your hair to look all wild and wooly like that?”

 “You can’t go up there with them White folks lookin’ like that.”

“You need to comb that mess.”

“Why don’t you straighten it and part in on the side and tuck it under?”

Nice little drive-by of insults, huh? Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, right?

This is what I came home to on summer breaks from college. Back then, I was a cowardly little thing, so, to avoid the ridicule I would either pull my afro back into a tight neat bun or just give the fight all the way up and straighten my hair until I got back to my safe haven of self-expression: college.

The comments didn’t bother me as much as the fact that this outright dislike for my natural hair was coming from the mother who expressly forbade my sister and me to get relaxers in our adolescence. Now, in my adult years, they were scolding my exploration of my God-given, naturally-grown kinks. Er? My mother had a huge afro in her twenties! Either way, my full head of curly hair wasn’t something she wanted to see out and about.

Let me back up to the 6^th grade. I hated my hair. My mother kept my hair blown out in three or four braids and she stood by her decision to keep my hair chemical-free, citing complete baldness as a sure thing if I got a relaxer at that age. To an 11-year-old who is getting bullied every day by the other little black girls – all of whom HAVE relaxers – those lectures went in one ear and right out the other. I cried. A lot. I changed my hair at the bus stop. I developed a detrimentally frequent relationship with handfuls of thick, slick grease and any form of intense direct heat I could get my hands on: an old school, set-it-on-the-stove-till-it-smokes hot comb; a rusted, gold curling iron that left more burn marks on my ears and neck than it straightened my hair; a blow dryer with the standard fine-toothed comb attachment that when raked through my thick kinks, murdered my scalp, but left my hair LAID. At least until I’d sweat or take a bath. Then those little curly Qs would pop up all over in a frizzy mess. At one point with angry and frustrated tears in both eyes, I grabbed a severely rusted pair of industrial-sized seamstress’s scissors, sat behind the couch and cut off my wildly frizzy bangs, right down to the scalp. My mom freaked, but still no relaxer.

Granted, I know the ‘no-relaxers’ policy saved my hair and maybe it was easier for my mother to fire up a hot comb or plug in a blow dryer, but what was I learning in that process? Though she didn’t believe in putting a relaxer in my head, she felt that straight hair was and is the “right” way to wear my hair. I took this standard and internalized it. Yes, I was told by my mother that I had ‘good hair,’ but if my hair was ‘good’ then why wasn’t a pony puff or full ‘fro ever acceptable? Without realizing it, for years I believed that my freshly washed frizzy curls were “nappy,” ugly and in need of manipulation. Not because my mom TOLD me they were but because she SHOWED me they were by praising the “straighter” versions of my hair and shunning the curlier. Straighten it, part it on the side and curl it under. THAT’S the ticket.

In the end, I was more comfortable in my natural hair at college than at home. I didn’t want to fight my hair anymore. I wanted to embrace it. I wanted to make it work–and I did. My ‘fro became my trademark so much so that my friends and the PROVOST OF THE UNIVERSITY called me “Puff Puff.” It was hilarious back then, but it speaks volumes now. Something I had feared and deemed ugly – others loved and embraced. The old slavery time stigma of ‘good’ hair versus ‘bad’ hair had reached into my family and I never even recognized its grasp until now. Just a few weeks ago my sister, mother and cousin made me relax their hair. I might have been less reluctant to do it if I was certain that they had no complex about their own hair and that they just didn’t have the time to dedicate to natural hair care, but each of them sees their natural hair as ugly in some sense. That saddens me, but I’ve accepted that not everything is for everybody. Straight hair is no longer my standard of beauty. Well-maintained hair is, no matter what that looks like. I see the beauty now in what my hair naturally is. However, I’m careful not force my new views of black hair on my family. All I can do is what fits me.

The straight, “side part under” may have been the safe thing to do back in the day, but today is a new day and I am bold. I’m redefining ‘beautiful,’ ‘acceptable,’ and ‘correct,’ for myself. Does my mother like it? Not always. Every now and then she’ll tell me to “Do something with that mess,” and I shrug it off. I’ll keep my twist outs. I got a taste of freedom and I’m not going back. No shade to the faithful creamy crack users – do you. But for me? I had to lose the hold my family’s warped perception of black hair had on me and interpret my hair and my image for myself. The feeling is unparalleled and so is the growth – both internally and atop my head.

La Truly is a Natural-haired, late-blooming Aries with lots to say. Her writing is powered by a lifetime of anecdotal proof that awkward can transform to awesome and fear can cast its crown before courage. Armed with the ability to purposefully poke fun at herself La seeks to encourage thought, discussion and positive change. Check out her thoughts/jokes/rants on Twitter: @AshleyLaTruly and her young women’s empowerment blog: www.hersoulinc.com.

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A new study in the American Journal of Epidemiology definitely adds a point to the #TeamNatural tally with a published paper from researchers at Boston University linking hair relaxers to uterine fibroid tumors in women and early puberty in young girls.

Led by Lauren Wise of Boston University’s Slone Epidemiology Center, scientists followed more than 23,000 pre-menopausal Black American women from 1997 to 2009 and found that the two- to three-times higher rate of fibroids among black women may be linked to chemical exposure through scalp lesions and burns resulting from relaxers.

Women who got their first menstrual period before the age of 10 were also more likely to have uterine fibroids, and early menstruation may result from hair products black girls are using, according to a separate study published in the Annals of Epidemiology last summer. Three hundred African American, African Caribbean, Hispanic, and White women in New York City were studied. The women’s first menstrual period (menarche) varied anywhere from age 8 to age 19, but African Americans, who were more likely to use straightening and relaxers hair oils, also reached menarche earlier than other racial/ethnic groups.

While so far, there is only an association rather than a cause and effect relationship between relaxers, menarche, and fibroid tumors, as Tamika Fletcher, co-owner of Natural Resources salon in Houston, pointed out in a Fox report, the hair care industry isn’t regulated by the FDA so there’s no telling what black women are putting in their hair and how harmful those products may be.

These studies go way beyond the damaging effects chemical relaxers may have on one’s hair, women and girls may be damaging their reproductive systems with some of the hair products they use, making it even more critical to know exactly what you’re putting in your hair and in your body.

How do you research the hair products you use and make sure their safe?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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Zerran International’s ReaLisse™ Hair Smoothing Treatment is the first to pass dermatological testing without any adverse effects. The patented product is formulated without keratin or other animal products and contains no formaldehyde, aldehydes, thioglycolates, sodium hydroxide, guanidine hydroxide, methylene glycol, formol, formalin, ethers, or any other substance that produces formaldehyde gas upon heating with a flatiron. In fact, it is 100 percent vegan—meaning there are no health risks and virtually no chance of your hair falling out.

As a natural girl who loves her curls but would like to reduce frizz and ease manageability, I decided to try it out at Enyia Anise Beauty Bar in Atlanta, Georgia, one of the first salons in the country to offer the Zerran ReaLisse™ Hair Smoothing Treatment. I was educated on the product and provided with after-care reading material. They also carry everything you need to continue seeing the best results at home.

The stylist, who has significant experience applying keratin treatments onto ethnic hair, and I were both taken by the results. In comparison to keratin treatments, my hair was instantly softer, smoother and shinier. A week later, after the first wash, my hair was still just as soft, shiny and smooth as the day I left the salon. My curls were also slightly looser after air-drying. All of these results occurred without the help of any additional products.

Be prepared to spend; it is a little pricey at $200 with the much needed shampoo, leave-in conditioner and masque tacking on another $100. However, if you have it, it is well worth the cost. I don’t need Miss Jessie’s Curly Pudding anymore but it looks even better now when I decide to use it. The treatment does not negatively affect color-treated hair and it is perfectly safe to have your hair color-treated afterward.

Overall, I am very happy with my hair and plan to visit Enyia Anise Beauty Bar in 2-4 months to get the treatment again.

For more product information visit Zerran.com. To make an appointment with Enyia, call (404) 733-1000.

Want to know more about LaShaun Williams? Check out her blog Politically Unapologetic, where she shares thoughts on race, culture and love. Follow her on Twitter @itsmelashaun.