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“Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.” – Mahatma Gandhi

It’s easy to discount the things we say, as “just words.” The mistake starts in grade school when we’re taught that stick and stones break bones but words never hurt. Truth be told, words are not only reflections of the way we view the world, but studies show they also influence our emotions and actions.

Are you guilty of using words that sabotage your success? Check out these common phrases that invite negativity into our lives, and try to cut them out your vocabulary.

So you think you’re a very well-mannered person? Well, I hate to break it to you, but if you ever do any of these things on this list, you may not be as well-mannered as you think. In fact, you might actually be rude sometimes. Have a look and see if you’re guilty of any of these common habits that people sometimes do without realizing it’s rude.

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Chewing loudly

One of the most annoying things about people eating is when they chew like they haven’t eaten in months. It’s both annoying to hear and distracting to look at. Relax loud chewers; the food isn’t going anymore, so no need to chomp it down like it’s trying to run away from your face.

By Kariba Williams

I was only five when I realized that my mother had a drug habit. She would stay in the kitchen for hours at a time with some of her “friends.” She would only come out when she needed to prevent me from venturing into the kitchen or when it was time for her to go to the “store” to feed her habit. By the time I turned six, my first brother was born, however, my mother continued her drug use and wound having two additional children in a span of three years. My mother was not a “typical” user. She went on heavy binges. She didn’t use every day, but when she did use, she would be hard to reach for days at a time. Because of this, my siblings became my responsibility at a young age. I ensured that they were fed and tried to show them the right things to do, despite my own lack of guidance. I was a good girl for the most part and my mother knew it. As her disappearing acts caught the attention of neighbors, authorities were called in and my siblings and I were removed. This became the norm. She would get us back, we would be removed again, and she would somehow get us back once more.

When she got us back for a final time, she still wasn’t through with her addiction. She knew how to straighten up long enough for the court to believe she was rehabilitated. My mother loved us very much, but her inner demons ran rampant. She had minimal strength in fighting her addiction and that made me an adult before my time. I made hard decisions and became the most consistent thing in the lives of my siblings. I was their guardian. I felt an incredible need to protect them. The feeling was so strong that I couldn’t even fathom the idea of going to college outside of the city. If I left, who would protect them? My life was about them and never about me. I was more selfless than selfish for the first half of my life.

One night, my mom went to the “store” and didn’t come back for two days. I was 21 years old, had a job and was enrolled in school full time. And at that point, I was fed up. I was tired of playing mommy. My siblings were teenagers and one of them was becoming rebellious: arrests, stabbings, juvenile detention, breaking curfew, and possible pregnancies. Things were beyond the usual meetings with the guidance counselor. Things just became too much for me, and I finally realized how overwhelmed I was. For the first time, I knew it was time to pull myself together for me. When my mother came back from that two-day binge, I moved in with a relative and started doing my own thing. From there, I got my own place a year later.

By Chrissi J

For women with natural hair, we always ask 101 questions about our hair to figure out when it will grow, to know what products work for other people, to understand how to maintain our strands and more. But in the midst of trying to learn about our heads of hair, we’re making some mistakes that in the end could be damaging and even a waste of time and money. Time to make some changes!

1. Scratching!!!!

Hair Care Stylist PSA: PLEASE do not scratch your scalp! If you suffer from itchy scalp, first identify your problem. If your scalp is itching, the PH levels of it could be off balance. Pure peppermint oil is a great treatment for that. The causes of itchy scalp vary from lack of moisture on one hand, and over moisturizing on the other, both of which you can change. If you suffer from itchy scalp because of a medical condition, ie. psoriasis or eczema, you should consult your physician immediately.

By Charlotte Young

You thought you were being health-conscious when you bought that granola bar and drank that soy milk, didn’t you? Turns out, you may have been wrong. In a perfect example of how you can’t trust marketing claims that this product is good for you or that product has less fat, Forbes examines some of the top healthy alternatives we think we’re making every day.

Soy milk may brag that it’s the healthy alternative to regular fat-free and reduced fat milk, but its hiding some scary details. According to New York dietitian Robin Barrie Kaiden, “half the time it’s flavored and it has added sugar.” Soy milk is also genetically modified and no one yet knows what damage that may cause later in life. So for about $90 more a year, soy milk buyers are getting a product with higher calories and with more risk factors.

Another outrageously priced product is organic peanut butter. No matter how you spread it, peanut butter is still peanut butter and it’s high in fat. It’s best to stick with the cheaper version or if you’d like to be healthier, experiment with fat-free cream cheese. You might find that a cream cheese and jelly sandwich taste just as good.

Perhaps the highest price product on the list is skin cream. People believe that all the fancy ingredients on the bottle equal a well formulated product worth the $400-$1000 price tag. Dermatologist and cosmetic surgeon Tony Nakhla tells Forbes that “there is no ingredient so amazing that’s worth spending hundreds on a skin cream.” He reveals that often times a good product can be found right at your local drug store. A good product should range from $30-50. Try to look for a plant-based brand or one with retinol. It may be a good idea before embarking on a product search to start with a licensed dermatologist who will be able to guide you in the right direction for skin care.

The list wouldn’t be complete with the last two items: bottled water and diet soda. Americans have become obsessed with the convenience of what they believe is purified water in a bottle making it a $4 billion a year industry. But medical experts are growing increasingly concerned about the risks of bottled water, researching whether or not the plastic container holding the bottle is leaking toxins into it when the bottle is left in the heat. They recommend that if you’re still not convinced to go with tap water, try using a basic faucet filter instead. The change could save you an estimated $150 a year.

As for diet soda, turns out that neither diet soda nor regular soda is good for you. Diet sodas have been linked to increased waist sizes. It’s best just to take this craving out of your life. While it may be hard at first, the additional $300 a year it’ll save you is a good incentive.

There is nothing sexier than a man with confidence. Who doesn’t like a little swagger? However, sometimes that charming confidence can morph into annoying arrogance. You know, when brotherman thinks that you should jump through hoops and thank the baby Jesus that you’re with him.  This dude shouldn’t be dating ANY woman. He is already in the perfect relationship–with himself.  Here are seven types of arrogant men that need to eat some humble pie.

When you first start dating someone, isn’t it interesting how perfect they seem? That’s probably because they are working hard to make a good impression. Let a few months go by, and we all know that who you’re really dating is going to shine through. All the bad habits, the emotional side, the jealousy issues, can rear their ugly head. And what’s the saying? When someone shows you who they are, believe them? Do it. And while there are certain things you can move past that may come to light, there are some other humps that you might not be able to get over. So here are a few scenarios that I’ve seen and heard have happened to people that I thought I’d pose as questions to you. If you’ve been dating a guy for just a few months, could you continue to date them if they did the following…?

I don’t know about you, but I stay connected to my social networks. I often feel like I’m missing out on something if I don’t check my Facebook page and Twitter to see what’s trending and what celebrity I pretend to know is saying. But it takes a while to get accustomed to social media without putting too much out there. There’s way too many creepers out there looking to get their “To Catch a Predator” on with you, under 18 or not, and releasing too much information about yourself can be not only dangerous, but embarrassing to look back on (hello drunken stupor pics!). So to keep you from being that Facebook friend everyone shakes their heads at and to avoid those kinds of folk, here’s a list of social media no-no’s to that will save you a lot of unnecessary headaches from creepy messages and party invitations that get out of control. Take notes…