All Articles Tagged "going by yourself"
By Chika Dunu
Beyonce told us that the definition of diva is a female version of a hustlah. With that said, I’m pretty sure a lot of us know of a diva in our lives, whether she is our mother, sister, best girlfriend or ourselves. She is the career driven woman who is sure of her work-related abilities. But how many of those same divas reference Erykah Badu and utter the words, “can I get a window seat (dinner reservation, movie/concert ticket) don’t want nobody next to me.” Literally. You, myself and our friends, my dear, are dependent divas.
So what’s a dependent diva? Allow me to explain. I’ve been longing to visit the N.O during Essence Music Festival for the past two years. And for the past two years, the girls and I would sit and plan in excitement about the upcoming festivities. But as quickly as the excitement of going washes over us, the disappointment of it not happening washes over me. And then, the excuses as to why the plans fell through start to roll in:
-”Oh we were serious about going?!” (Uh yes!)
-”I don’t got it [money]” (What?! We budgeted it out from December. Remember?)
-”That date wasn’t good for me” (So you feel the need to mention that now, when its time book tickets/hotels?)
And just like that I remain in New York the same time the festival rolls around.
Ladies, I am not the only one who faces this dilemma of having to forgo plans because of flopping friends. Who really wants to be the “weird” girl sitting by herself at a dinner table, jamming to a concert or boarding an airplane alone? I get it. Two years ago, I would definitely question myself sitting alone at a dinner table. However, today? Sign me up! In fact, I try to make doing something by and for myself once a week a tradition. I’m okay with the questionable stares. The nosy person eventually has to blink and diverge their attention elsewhere and I can get back to enjoying my own company. Heck, if I cannot enjoy myself, how can I expect anyone else to?
So, as I just finished reading the email informing me about next year’s Essence Music Festival, again I started my budget. And whoever is down, can come along or stay behind. But trust me, I won’t and you shouldn’t want to stay behind. There is more to life than what we are accustomed to and living outside the box of comfort shouldn’t be based on whether or not you’ve got a rally behind you. You have to live for yourself and experience life on your own terms and not on the terms of others.
America is known as the “no-vacation” nation, where many are opting to work rather than taking time off. That’s understandable in this economy but ‘me time’ is also understandable and I am pushing you to have that time, whether it’s boarding a plane or eating at your favorite restaurant. Alone.
We cannot wait because we will never see the world always waiting on a plus one. I got that tidbit from Demetria Lucas. Preach!
More on Madame Noire!
- Where Are They Now? Talented R&B Divas Who’ve Gone MIA Over the Years
- But We’re Not Friends Though: How Do You Decline A Random Baby Shower Invite?
- MN Exclusive Part II: Jenifer Lewis Reflects on Her Struggle & Gives Advice to the Younger Generation
- Opening The Closet Door: 8 Singers Who Had To Deal With Speculation About Their Sexuality
- Aretha, Watch Your Back: 10 Stars Who Would Make Great Judges On “American Idol”
- Let Me Get You Straight, Girl! Advice To The Real ‘Housewives’ Of Atlanta!
- Did You Know They Dated? 10 Secret Lovers, Temporary Boos and Flings We Were Surprised By
“What are you wearing?”, “What do you think of him?”, “If you’re not going, neither am I.” As fabulous women with equally fabulous girlfriends, we’re all guilty of asking or declaring at least one of these statements to our friends; and actually there is nothing wrong if we have. After all, that’s what friends are for. It only becomes a problem when you rely on your friends to give you advice at all times when you know you are capable of thinking for yourself. Or if you decide against doing something simply because it’s not in your girlfriends’ plans. Sound rather juvenile? Possibly; but even us grown girls are sometimes guilty of this behavior.