All Articles Tagged "Girlfriends"

The Surprise Reason Why You Still Stalk Your Ex

April 16th, 2014 - By Madame Noire
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From YourTango 

Let’s be honest: when it comes to stalking your ex, your detective level is on expert. From creeping his latest pictures with his new girlfriend to going through his statuses just because they’re readily available, you hardly notice when your digital stalking becomes a full-blown habit. Why is that? Even though you swear that you’ve moved on, there’s a small part of you that can’t help but wonder how he’s coping without you.

Is it possible that there’s more to this than curiosity or jealousy?

Intrigued by human behavior, University of Missouri School of Journalism’s Kevin Wise set forth to crack this code through the use of facial EMG sensors which, when connected to the eye muscles, detect the levels of positive reaction stemming from visual stimuli. In his study, the assisstant professor of strategic communication closely documented the facebook activity of over 30 subjects.

In the results of his social experiment, he found that most of the participants used facebook to search through the pages of both friends and former partners; he believes that his findings show that people often experience an instant “emotional gratification” from connecting to fellow users through their personal pages. While Wise sees facebook “social searching” as a form of emotional bonding, other critics aren’t as ready to accept this conclusion.

Read more about stalking at YourTango.com 

Why Mean Girls Finish First When Dating

April 15th, 2014 - By Madame Noire
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From Hello Beautiful

We all know the cliche, “Nice guys finish last,” but what about us? Nice girls finish after way after nice guys. Think about it. There’s books dedicated to men loving witches with a capital B. When women are apathetic, no-nonsense and could care less about what people think often serves as a challenge for men and we all know that men love challenges.

Nice women who are loyal, supportive and just want honesty and respect in return usually get the short end of the stick. I know because I’ve been all of these things to men and have seen my stick get shorter and shorter.

Somewhere along the way, romantic and genuinely sweet gestures have become annoyances and expected, so they are never truly appreciated. Love cannot be bought or earned. The receiver of the nice treatment does not always feel love for the giver. In fact, they may feel manipulated, burdened or just ungrateful.

A few years ago, I met this adorable guy named Gavin. He was tall, smart, funny, ridiculously sweet and attentive. I thought I’d hit the jackpot. One night, Gavin wanted to hang out, but I explained to him that I was going to be celebrating my friend’s birthday at a local restaurant.

Gain sighed heavily, “And after?”

His desperation was adorable in the first couple of weeks. He loved spending time with me and was never shy to vocalize that. But after the hearts and stars in my eyes began to fade, I became increasingly irritated by his urgency. “After, I don’t know. It’s Lisa’s birthday, so we’ll probably be out,” I rolled my eyes. “I have to go babe. I’ll call you when I’m done.” I hung up, ready to complain to my girlfriends about how thirsty Gavin was becoming.

“I can’t believe you’re complaining about your boyfriend wanting to spend time with you. Why are you even with him?” One of my girlfriends challenged my disdain.

Continue this story about being nice in relationships at HelloBeautiful.com 

“I Said, ‘Ok, You Can Have My Underwear!’” Oprah Dishes On The Early Days Of Her Friendship With BFF Gayle King

March 13th, 2014 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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Source: Instagram

Source: Instagram

Good friends are extremely tough to come by and some could only hope that they’re lucky enough to form a bond like the one Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King share someday. But their bond is certainly not one that developed overnight. According to the media maven, she met Gayle back in the 70s during her days working as a news anchor.

“Back a lifetime ago, 1976, Baltimore. We were both on a local TV station. She was a production assistant,” Winfrey told Page Six. “I was an anchor.”

It turns out that an extreme snow storm assisted their relationship in progressing from co-workers to friends.

“We became friends, especially after a big snow storm.”

“When she couldn’t go out, get home and didn’t have enough clothes, I said, ‘OK, you can have my underwear.’ But then I added, ‘And don’t return it.’”

Their friendship grew beyond the time they spent at that Baltimore news network and when Oprah made it to the big leagues, she was sure to bring Gayle along for the ride.

“When time came and things happened to me, I asked her to quit her job and come to my new Oprah magazine to help me. But the truth is, the whole time I felt guilty taking her away from TV because I know how much she loved it.”

Now that Gayle is back working in the television industry, the 60-year-old entrepreneur says she couldn’t be more happy for her friend.

“I want to say officially how proud I am of my friend Gayle King,” she gushed. “And now she’s doing so well, and I’m thrilled for her. Mostly because at least she can have her own underwear.”

We absolutely love their friendship.

What Men Should Not Do In Front Of Their Girlfriends

November 1st, 2013 - By Madame Noire
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new relationships don't last

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From Single Black Male 

 

1. Commenting on our friends, sisters, cousins, or co-workers looks:This can either go horribly wrong or kind of right. For example, “Your mom is so beautiful you look just like her.” And then there is, “Yeah … your sister’s boobs are bigger than yours, but all I need is a handful.” (No this is not a made up example either, but I digress.) Look, it’s not like we expect you to not look at, desire, or feel attracted to anyone else, but hearing how fine/hot/beautiful/pretty you think our best friend/sister/co-worker is, is not on our list of things we want to hear. Why? They are too close to home and too close to you. This is a scenario we see constantly played out in movies, television dramas, and the “Maury Show,” so the last thing we want to equate with you is getting a phone call from Maury’s producer. Thinking someone is beautiful does not mean you are going to cheat on us with them either, but would you want us telling you how Hot we think your brother is? Didn’t think so.

 

2. Trying to solve all of our problems for us: Guys, we understand you are natural problem solvers, but sometimes we just want to vent about our co-worker Tanya. (Listen, I don’t care how mature you are, we all have that one co-worker that just irks the hell out of us). For example, ‘Tanya flirts with everyone and it pisses me off! I’m sure she’s sleeping with our boss because she wouldn’t have gotten that raise otherwise!” Pause right here. What are you supposed to say to that? Should you try and solve this dilemma for your woman? Are you supposed to agree that Tanya is a Slore? Do you tell your girl she may be reacting a bit over-the-top? No to everything! Just listen and please don’t try and come up with a plan of action, unless we ask. We have been dealing with Tanya for a long time now and know what we need to do, but we can’t talk about her with anyone at work so we at times need to vent about it to you. Please put the whiteboard, markers, and note cards away — we got this.

Read more at SingleBlackMale.org 

 

MN Exclusive: Our “Girlfriends” Reminisce On Our Fav Sitcom At Black Girls Rock!

October 31st, 2013 - By Brande Victorian
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Girlfriends

Source: BET

It’s a reunion!

This past Saturday night, every fabulous black women in the entertainment industry gathered together to celebrate something we all already know, “Black Girls Rock!” On top of our good fortune of just being in the presence of these exceptional ladies at the award ceremony, we also got to chat with a few on the red carpet — including our favorite “Girlfriends.”

Yup, Joan, Maya, Toni, and Lynn were all there; or should we say Tracee Ellis Ross, Golden Brooks, Jill Marie Jones, and Persia White? We had the chance to catch up with each woman and ask them about one of our favorite shows in television history, and we even caught Tracee and Mara Brock Akil, creator of “Girlfriends,” reunite on the carpet. Check out the video below as we chat with the girls about their favorite “Girlfriends” episodes and why the sitcom was the best thing ever in the early 2000s.

Finally! Jill Marie Jones Heads Back To The Small Screen!

October 26th, 2013 - By Drenna Armstrong
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"Jill Marie Jones pf"

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For those of you who’ve been wondering when Jill Marie Jones would finally get back to acting, the answer is…NOW.

The popular actress recently signed on to join the cast of Fox’s new series, Sleepy Hollow,”  according to The Hollywood Reporter. In her recurring role, Jones will play Cynthia Irving, the ex-wife of Captain Frank Irving and the mother of Macey Irving.

It’s been a long time since we’ve seen her in any acting jobs.  While she did appear in an episode of American Horror Story: Asylum earlier this ear, we haven’t seen her regularly since Girlfriends where she appeared in six of the seasons as the infamous Toni Childs.  Fans of her work have been hoping that her talents would stop being overlooked and she’d be working again soon.

Sleepy Hollow has been one of the breakout shows of the fall television season and easily one of Fox’s most popular shows.  It got a boost from the African-American community who was especially excited to see Nicole Beharie, an African-American actress, as one of its leads.  In fact, the show has already been renewed for a second season.

Sleepy Hollow returns to Fox on November 5th and Jill Marie Jones makes her debut as Cynthia Irving on November 25th.

Will you check it out, even if just for Jill?

Put Pride To The Side: What I Learned When I Reached Out To An Old Friend

September 6th, 2013 - By La Truly
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It had been on my mind and heart to reach out to an old friend for a few months. We were inseparable all four years of undergrad – taking classes together, partying together, breaking bread together, planning events together. There was rarely a tear I didn’t sit with Kara through or a heartbreak slump Kara didn’t pep talk me out of. When my hair looked ridiculous, she gently suggested another option in her sweet-spirited way. When she took crap from people, I volunteered to tell them off for her.

But more than anything, we inspired each other to be the better versions of ourselves. To be dignified while everyone else was showing their behinds – literally and figuratively. We motivated each other to get our work done, to step out on faith and do what seemed to be the impossible, to be leaders in our own right.

And then we graduated and barely spoke for reasons that mainly involved a falling out between a mutual friend and me. I fell off the grid. Distanced myself from everyone and anyone with whom I had been close.  Just in case. Eff all of them. People are untrustworthy and I’m over it. I’m done.

That was my hurt and childish mindset in 2008:

One person did me wrong so everybody must pay. Hell, they could be sitting with that person, talking smack about me right now! They probably are. Kara probably is. She doesn’t return my phone calls or texts. I’m done with her too.

I distanced myself so greatly, one would never have known that we were ever friends.

But after a few years of ups and downs a LOT of self-work, Kara stayed heavily on my spirit. I debated and talked myself out of contacting her each time the thought shimmied into my consciousness. Was it even possible to be as close as we were before? Would she even respond to my text?

Eff it. Closure, a new beginning, peace – I had to get past my pride if I was ever going to have any of the above.

What my invitation to dinner was met with was an ecstatic Kara, eager to meet up. I don’t know if I was shocked or touched. Maybe a little of both.

What came of that meeting was conversation between two old friends like no time had passed. Explanations of lapses in contact. Encouragement, life lessons learned over the past five years, hilarious anecdotes that made us laugh. Hard.

When she finally asked me why we didn’t stay as close as we thought we would have, I came clean about my “guilty by association” mindset back then. She was shocked.

“Ash, you should know I’m not like that. If two of my friends have beef I tell them to work it out like grown women. I don’t drop people because someone else has an issue with them.”

I felt dumb for having been so irrational. How many chances had we lost to celebrate triumphs together? How many times could we have been each other’s shoulder to lean on through tough times?

But we were here now. Five years later, many experiences wiser, more mature, able to embrace one another like no time had passed.

It was one of the most humbling experiences. I had so horribly misjudged someone with whom I had had a sisterhood. All because of a hurt I suffered at the hands of someone else. Clouded judgment caused me to miss out on years of friendship with one of the most genuine friends I had ever known. But actively humbling myself, reaching out and being real started a healing process.

I grew from that experience. I learned that people are much more gracious than I’ve given them credit for being. I was humbled with yet another example of how flawed I am. I learned all over again to leave assumptions at the door.

We’re human so we’re going to make mistakes, misjudge others, and mishandle situations. The key to forward movement, healing, and repair is to kick pride out of the way for a minute and admit our mistakes. Sometimes it’s not too little too late and we and we can begin again.

La Truly’s writing is powered by a lifetime of anecdotal proof that awkward can transform to awesome and fear can cast its crown before courage. La seeks to encourage thought, discussion and change among young women through her writing. Check her out on Twitter: @AshleyLaTruly.

She Hate Me: What It Means To Be “Loyal” And Why Your Girlfriends Can’t Dictate Your Friendships

August 16th, 2013 - By La Truly
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Women need to grow up. Period.

That was my annoyed thought when my girlfriend, Marisol, recently relayed her friendship drama to me. She had fallen out of touch with our old friend, Frankie, because Frankie seemed uninterested in keeping in touch. I wasn’t that close to Frankie so the distance that increased between us seemed odd but didn’t cost me a wink of sleep.

Enter Tasha, a friend of both Marisol and Frankie. Tasha was deeply hurt and angered by Frankie’s decision to create some space, as was her right for how tight they all had been. For months I listened to the jabs at Frankie’s character and the monologues about the supposed great friend Tasha had been to her.

I get it. You spend time being a true friend to someone and then they up and disappear from your life – that’s going to sting. But after months of Tasha’s ranting, I started to wonder if she had ever even reached out to Frankie on her own instead of just taking Marisol’s word on everything. I don’t believe that she did. She just allowed her hurt feelings to build a case against Frankie with no real evidence, just speculation.

To make it worse, Marisol felt a tug on her heart later to reach out to Frankie, which sent Tasha into a passive aggressive Twitter blitz – making it clear that “you’re not a true friend if you keep company with people I dislike.”

Really? I thought we left groupthink mentality in the high school lunchroom or in the barnyard chicken coop. We are GROWN women – peace to Beyoncé. A “true friend” and their loyalty are not proven by forsaking anyone you may have had a tiff with. Get real!

Where we as women make our mistake is believing that loyalty has one specific look and behavior and if it doesn’t look and behave just like that then it is disloyalty. Uh, no. Loyalty is actually a multi-faceted concept. If I choose to become a friend to you (a term too loosely used nowadays) I am agreeing to a few things:

  • To be open and honest with you about anything/everything – including yourself.
  • To have your back in difficult times.
  • To celebrate you – your happiness, and your success.
  • To hold you accountable for your actions.

There is no unspoken rule that I embrace, nor do I feel comfortable dropping other friends based on who you are/aren’t vibin’ with that year, month or week. What if you are constantly fighting with “friends”? I’d look like a genuine fool to follow behind you, dissing and dismissing folks based off of your childish whim. The only time this seems even remotely feasible is if the person in question is a well-noted deceitful, gossiping, immoral degenerate. But to expect someone to cut ties with someone else off the strength of YOUR personal dislike for them? No ma’am.

As it turned out, Frankie revealed that she was going through a rough time in her life and became extremely introverted to cope. She and Marisol reconciled and Tasha’s sitting somewhere still subtweeting about the whole ordeal. But I say, “So what?”

It’s important to be loyal but it’s also important to be an individual inside and outside of friendships. Life is too short to allow yourself to be controlled by idiotic and baseless friendship rules. And if that’s how you’re living, a little self-evaluation at this point could only help you.

La Truly’s writing is powered by a lifetime of anecdotal proof that awkward can transform to awesome and fear can cast its crown before courage. La seeks to encourage thought, discussion and change among young women through her writing. Check her out on Twitter: @AshleyLaTruly and AboutMe www.about.me/latruly.

They Ain’t Got No Worries Either! The Ladies Of The Heat Get Their Celebration On

June 21st, 2013 - By Brande Victorian
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Gabrielle Union Sanaa Lathan Miami Heat

Make no mistake about it, the girlfriends and wives of the Miami Heat basketball team are just as excited as the players are about their big win because they know that championship ring means mo’ bucks which equals more bags, more shoes, and more fine living.

After the Heats’ victory over the Spurs last night, partners of the Big 3 — Lebron, Dwyane, and Chris — got their celebration on too.  ‘Bron’s lady Savannah kept it lowkey, rocking a simple white t-shirt while catching the game, and Adrienne went the family route, shouting out the entire Bosh clan on Twitter. Gabrielle Union went hard, though, uploading pics of her and her girl Sanaa popping Moet. And Terrence J dropped this fabulous Instagram video  of Gabby hopping off the private Jet and getting her runway walk on into the area.

Check out shots of the ladies below. #Winning!

Source: Twitter

Source: Twitter

 

Source: Twitter

Source: Twitter

 

Source: Instagram

Source: Instagram

Where Are They Now? The Super-Fine, Black Sitcom Boyfriends (And Husbands) We Wanted For Ourselves

June 20th, 2013 - By Clarke Gail Baines
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Some of the best shows from the ’90s and early ’00s had everything. Good writing, great acting, and good looking men. These brothas brought some of our favorite characters happiness, drama, and a good time, and for us, they brought eye candy we were looking for on our favorite TV nights (Monday used to be THE day to watch TV on UPN back in the day!). So where have some of our favorite crushes gone? Let’s take a look shall we! Be warned, some have changed not necessarily for the worst…but let’s just say they’ve changed a lot.

Fredro Starr

Quinton “Q” Brooks played by Fredro Starr on Moesha

Now they knew damn well that “Q” didn’t look like nobody’s high school student. On for two seasons and occasionally returning, Q was Moesha’s longest relationship, and probably the one that brought her the most drama. Fredro Starr of the hip-hop group Onyx played this role, and had some serious acting experience previous to playing Q (Clockers anyone?). Afterwards, he kept acting in a little bit of everything, including roles in Save The Last Dance, playing gunman Bird on The Wire, and still focusing on his music. He recently had beef with DMX of all people. As for what he’s looking like, these days, he looks okay…

 

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WENN

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