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Her oxygen was turned up to the maximum and she was non-responsive. She wasn’t even squeezing my hand now. But I held her hand and prayed that God would work a miracle, or if that wasn’t in His will, that He would at least give me peace about the situation.

I want to say that my aunt lived a full life but I can’t. I want to say that she did most everything she dreamed of doing before she passed but she did not. I want to say that she was free of the chains of others people’s opinions but she was not. While I watched her live a beautiful  life dedicated in service to God as a pastor, mother and all-around nurturer, I also watched her live a life tortured by fear.

“What would they say? What would they think? How will they react? Is it the right time? We have to wait….”

She lived a long life as God’s servant, but the fullness of that life never came to complete fruition. I took a long hard look at her life and saw how it mirrored my own. At 26 years old, I have been afforded many opportunities, many of which I took, but many of which I let slide between my fingers. Why?

For fear.

I refused myself the deserved happiness and pride of receiving my Master’s degree for fear of being called “uppity” by my own family. (NOTE: They called me “uppity” anyway.) I deferred to share my hopes and dreams divinely placed in my heart for fear of them being shot down as so often they were. I turned down more than a few opportunities to travel abroad for fear of being called flighty. I’ve held myself back in a major way simply because of fear. Fear of failure, fear of other people’s disapproval, fear of the unknown.

But as I watched my aunt, my second mother, lay passing away in that hospital room I realized that life is not to be feared but to be lived. And not just lived in mediocrity, but wholly, abundantly, fully, lovingly, freely. What a disservice we do to ourselves and the God who created us by living just to get by when He has so much more in store for us!

I made the choice that day to usher in my 27^th year of life, 2013, with a new mindset, a new outlook, a new resolve to BE and DO everything for which I am purposed. I’m going to learn how to swim (I know right?). I’m going to fall in love. I’m going to travel to many a beautiful destination, camera in hand. I’m going to do the service work I’ve dreamt of for years. I’m going to push myself out of my comfort zone, past the ridiculing stares and whispers of others, and I’m going to honor God with my life.

During her life, my aunt gave me roots: a deep respect for God, a desire to stay humble, a desire to serve wherever, however I can. And in her passing, I believe she gave me wings. For I have realized that tomorrow certainly is not promised and every single day, every single moment, every single breath I breathe is another opportunity to be whole, excellent, and free. I relinquish the fear that once drove me to sacrifice myself to the gods of mediocrity and I choose to honor the God of my gifts and talents and callings and opportunities.

It’s a new day and I’m 26 years young. Let freedom (and purpose) ring.

La Truly is a late-blooming Aries whose writing is powered by a lifetime of anecdotal proof that awkward can transform to awesome and fear can cast its crown before courage. La seeks to encourage thought, discussion and change among young women through her writing. Check out her blog: www.hersoulinc.com and Twitter: @AshleyLaTruly.

For a little while there it seemed that Nicki Minaj was only going to drop pop joints for public consumption, but every now and again the femcee goes back to her roots and showcases her lyrical prowess by giving us a bit of bragaddacio, as well as an opportunity to vent her frustrations on a track. That’s what “Freedom,” is supposed to be doing for the listener, while the video, which she dropped yesterday, is just supposed to be visually appealing for the eyes, with Nicki dressed in frilly dresses, a crown, ornate accessories and letting the wind blow through her hair. The video was done by Colin Tilley and it’s definitely colorless and more melancholy than anything she has put together in the past. I’m actually feeling it, though I could have lived without the Jesus comparisons (“They’ll never thank me for opening doors
But they ain’t even thank Jesus when he died on the cross”), but she wouldn’t be the first musician to do such a thing, so it is what it is. Either way though, the song (especially the beat) is pretty good, and the video is a nice change of pace after watching people walk around in panties past a technicolor-looking background (a la, the video “The Boys”). “Freedom” is off of Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded – The Re-Up, which was released yesterday. But what do you think of the video? Give it a chance, you might dig it. Let us know what you think below.

So is it a pass or play for you?

lepotaizdravlje.rs

Rebuilding your life after a divorce can seem like an impossible task. You have to mourn the loss of your relationship, accept the past and then assess the quality of your life and your state of happiness going forward. But this time is also filled with great opportunities to rediscover yourself, focusing on no one but you…looking for self-love in every new moment. If you want to be happily divorced ever after, consider these benefits of going from a spouse to the single gal in the city!

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I am totally in need of a mental break from discussions about this Trayvon Martin murder. Everyday I wake up to more news of the absurdity and pointless debates with stupid people via Facebook, who insist on engaging in a smear campaign to passively defend their racism.

So to help us keep off the meds, here is a little mental respite by way of this question: If money was no object, what would you do with your life? Last night, I watched an episode of “Real Housewives of Atlanta” in which Kandi Buruss premiered her first co-written country song about money growing on trees.  I think the question gets asked a lot in different ways, but no one really puts thought into what this really could mean…I think we all have our beauty pageant answers to this question, and they sound like a dope follow-up to the Nas/Lauryn Hill collaboration of If I Ruled the World. But how many of us would readily admit that the plans for our newfound financial whirlwind would be much closer to Mase’s 24 hours to Live than anything else?

So let’s say that due to some sort of strange twist of good fate, I won the lottery or inherited an infinite amount of money from a dead long lost relative (fingers crossed) and had more money than Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, and all the world’s top one percent combined–how would I go about living my life?

One thing I know for sure is that I would instantly quit my job and pledge to never work again – ever.  Seriously, I never understood why those folks who win those multimillion dollar lotteries always say that they will continue to work. I mean, I like the work that I do, but I would be lying my A$$ off if I didn’t say that I like the days I don’t have to work, much, much more.

Of course I would pay off all my bills and loans, as well as the debt of my brothers, my parents, my Uncle Keith and my grandmother. Additionally, I would give them each a million dollars and set up a trust fund for my nieces and nephews to be retrieved when they turn 30 years old. But that’s it as far as family is concerned.  The way I see it, the less the extended family knows about my new financial status the more chances I have to avoid going back to being broke.

If money were not an object, traveling the world would definitely be second on the list. There would not be a country, island or U.N. unrecognized territory on this planet that I wouldn’t touch ground in.  I would collect art, spices and textiles from these places. I would also collect phone books, census counts and registries…

Trust me, it will make sense later.

Imagine that you were born just a little bit earlier, like early enough to have lived through slavery and the Civil War. Assuming that you’re black (and were indeed enslaved), now you’re a free individual. But perhaps you still harbor some resentment to the people that once owned and oppressed you and your family. Given the opportunity, what might you say to those people?

Having never been in a situation like this, most of us probably can’t imagine what we would say. But luckily, historians found a letter a former slave addressed and mailed to his former master.

It’s something.

Read the letter at BlackVoices.com.

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When we take the “Great Plunge,” when we commit to “for better or worse,” it is with the understanding that we are becoming one. And, some of us mistake that for spending every waking moment together when that’s not the case at all.

Successful marriages are comprised of two whole individuals who complement one another. Rather than attempting to make each other complete, one enriches the other’s life and vice versa. For that reason, it is important that we put forth the energy to maintain ourselves individually. The intent of marriage is not to entirely expunge independence. After all, he married you as an independent woman. Therefore, it is important to preserve a certain sense of self.

These are a few ways to do so:

Relationships are cool. Marriage is great. Love is beautiful. But, being single is actually not so bad either. In fact, the freedom to slide through the front door at 5 a.m. feels pret-ty awesome. And, though some of us coupled-up women refuse to admit it, there are moments when we miss the single life.

Grass has a way of looking greener on the other side; and, human nature has a way of coveting the best of both worlds. We see our single friends delighting in the joys of freedom—flirting at happy hour, mid-week GNOs and, oh, the sweet sound of silence.

Many of us spend so much of our single lives looking for ways to get into relationships that we miss how fun it is to be a part of the Single Ladies Club. And, it’s not until those days are gone that we yearn for one more round of happy hour singles meet-and-greets disguised as networking events; or one more impromptu Tuesday night trip to the movie theater with the bestie.

Think you may be secretly thirsting for the single life, again? Here are signs you’re (a little or a lot) jealous of your single girlfriends:

Watching all the teenagers and young kids in their cute uniforms walk to school again has for some reason created a feeling of nostalgia for me. I miss the days of lugging around a seemingly giant backpack to school, meeting up with my friends during passing periods and lunch, and taking part in group sports (how in shape were you thanks to organized sports??). Those days were extremely simple, right? Even if back then you couldn’t wait to be done with them and be a big, bad grown up. Overrated! So with all that being said, I thought I’d take a walk down memory lane and list the seven best things about being a kid. And not the super-obvious ones, but the ones that meant a lot more than taking naps, going to recess to play Red Rover and having play dates.