All Articles Tagged "flirt"
When it comes to dating and relationships, there are no rules. While traditional gender roles suggest that men should be the aggressors and approach a woman they’re interested in, women are becoming more bold in going after what they want – and getting it! Who says you have to wait for that cute guy you’ve made eye contact with to come over to you first? Go talk to him! Okay, okay, easier said than done, but you may be missing out on a number of dating possibilities simply because you’re shy, stubborn or afraid of rejection. Some men can be just as nervous and shy as women can, so help the guy out a bit and at least meet him half way. Not sure how to do that? Here are a few suggestions to get you started.
Some of us are flawless at flirting: suggestive winks, courteous nods and charming smiles are mastered in order to rouse the intricate interpersonal footwork that is flirtation. But, for most women, it’s difficult to know what’s right and what’s wrong when it comes to doing such a dance. We get so caught up in trying to impress someone that all of our cool points go out of the window. Fortunately for you, we’ve made a list of mistakes that women have been known to make when giving someone the eye, so you can try avoiding making them yourself–again.
Being Too Sexually Suggestive
While it’s alright to show a bit of flesh and tease a bit, you never want to lure a man with pure sexual innuendo because, to put it nicely, he might think that you’re a h*e, and that you would be down for taking things back to his place (and hitting the bedroom). Erotically licking your lips, talking up your sexual experiences, performing the breathy and deep ‘Adult Video star’ voice and visible undergarments are all quick ways for him to get the wrong idea and think that you’re easy.
By Sheena Bryant
As the seasons change and the weather becomes nicer, Iʼm trying to prepare myself for all of the foolishness that spring and summer will certainly bring. I donʼt know what it is about the sunshine, but it seems to give men a boost of confidence, assertiveness and outright audacity that doesn’t always exist in winter months. Is it me, or are the pick-up lines and tactics that men use to gain the attention of women far more exuberant and bold when itʼs hot!? And not only are men more creative, they are far more persistent when the sunʼs out. Iʼm from Chicago, and winter is no joke. No man wants to stand in the bitter cold for long trying to convince you to take his number, but that same man will follow you down the block until he wears you down when he can leave that coat in the closet.
The sun is shining stronger and longer these days and you should expect men (and ladies too) to be on the prowl. A simple walk down the street can be exhausting when youʼre a woman. Street harassment is real people! You WILL hear “Aye yo, shawty!” Miss lady. Sweetheart. Lil mama, and all of the other phrases and terms by which men choose to refer to women. Sometimes a quick no thank you will do when trying to dissuade eager suitors, but there are some men who are tenacious and donʼt seem to take no for an answer. If youʼre like I once was, you donʼt want to hurt anyoneʼs feelings so you try to find ways to nicely nudge men in the opposite direction. But let me just tell you, itʼs never a good idea to tell a man anything that you donʼt mean. If you arenʼt interested, say that and keep it moving. You may end up in undesirable situations otherwise.
I find that some men have a comeback for every variation of no thank you that exists: You: “I have a boyfriend.” Suitor: “What your man doesnʼt know wonʼt hurt him.” You: “Iʼm sorry, but itʼs not a good time.” Suitor: “Well take my number until the right time rolls around.” And this charade could go on forever. It came to me one day that what most men today donʼt want to deal with is an overly religious, holier-than-thou kind of girl. Most men think this girl keeps her goodies to herself and they promptly walk—sometimes run—in the opposite direction. So I had the grand idea to talk excessively about Jesus when hyper-persistent men who I was not interested in approached me. That is until I met a man who halted this foolish habit with one action.
He seemed like a nice guy, but I simply wasnʼt interested. He wanted to buy me dinner and whenever I tried to nicely decline, heʼd try to be more convincing. So I decided to pull out my fool-proof deterrent: “You know, hereʼs the thing. Itʼs all about Jesus these days for me. Iʼm really working on my relationship with God. I just want to be closer to Him. I love Jesus.” In my mind, Iʼm thinking 5,4,3,2…gone. But surprisingly, he was still standing there, and he hit me with the following: “Yeah, my relationship with God is important to me too.” What!? It was apparent that this one had come to the field to play and hardball was obviously his game of choice. When he continued to not take no for an answer, I foolishly decided to kick it up a notch. I told the gentleman that I wasn’t giving him my number but, if he came to my church, I would have dinner with him. I told him the name of the small church I attended at the time and casually told him that it was on the corner of such and such. I knew I wouldnʼt see him again.
Fast forward. Itʼs a lovely, ordinary Sunday morning. Iʼm at church, where I always am on Sundays, teaching Sunday School, what I always do on Sundays. I end my class with the tots, grab my things and head to the sanctuary. A girlfriend, who happened to witness my exchange with persistent gentleman number one, meets me at the door. “Your friendʼs here,” she says. When I ask her who she’s talking about, she say’s again, “Your friend.”
Thatʼs right. Mister Man had taken me at my word and not only would he attend Sunday service, but he for some reason came to Sunday School! And I assure you he was hungry and ready for dinner when it was all over.
Do not, I repeat, do NOT tell a man anything you donʼt mean just to get him to leave you alone. Honesty really is the best policy, but you have to be nice and honest at the same time. As the weather gets warmer and warmer and men become as persistent and brazen as the summer sun, find a better way than the younger version of myself, and politely decline every suitor you are not interested in.
I know I may be in the minority when it comes to finding oneself in this particular situation, but certainly youʼve said some things you regret as well to get a guy off your back. Are there any times when you should have said no thank you and walked away, but you said something that came back to bite you in the behind instead?
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We’ve all heard it at some point on our search for love: “Love shows up when you least expect it.” So, this means we should stop looking for love in order to find it. What if we applied this advice to other goals we have in our lives and the world?
Your ideal job will show up when you least expect it. You’ll lose 20lbs when you least expect it. The dishwasher will repair itself when you least expect it. Our marital problems will resolve themselves when we least expect it. World peace will arrive when we least expect it. This philosophy begins to seem a little ridiculous, doesn’t it? Is It Possible To Overcome Betrayal? EXPERT
And yet, we’re all sold this ridiculous myth from a very young age that one day we’ll bump into the love of our life and magically we’ll know how to make it last. How’s that working for you?
To get you out of the rut and get moving towards the love you desire, visit YourTango.com.
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When it comes to dating, men and women alike tend to express feelings of anxiety, nervousness and overall curiosity about their upcoming date. Will he be cute? What will we talk about? Is he going to be attracted to me? Often the man ends up as the “host” of the date. He plans the date and also feels pressure to keep the conversation flowing. With all of the built up anxiety, men often make mistakes on first dates that ruin their chances with their possible perfect match. As the saying goes “you never get a second chance to make a first impression.” Check out these top 9 mistakes men often make on first dates.
It’s safe to assume that most women have aspirations of getting married one day, some sooner than others. While I have my own set of grown-up fairy tales when it comes to walking down the aisle, I also have a grown-up list of things to do before I happily utter those two words: “I Do.” Similar to a bucket list (things you would like to do before you actually kick the bucket), these items are things I think every woman, including myself, should experience before marriage.
Once you’re married, if done right, that’s how you will hopefully spend the rest of your life. The days of making your own decisions without having to consider the feelings of a partner will be over…forever (or something like that); and if that’s not enough to scare you, consider this: instead, you will have to consider someone else wholeheartedly before moving forward with plans or life-altering decisions. Until then, single women should experience certain things, meet certain people, and potentially get certain things in order (like that enormous credit card debt lingering since college).
While everyone’s ‘Before I Get Married’ bucket list will vary, here are a couple of considerations to get you started in creating your own.
Congratulations. You have a vagina. You can find SOMEone with whom to hop in bed.
But you want a man. The summer months are here and you want pondside picnics and weekend patio lunches with a real boo. It’s been a minute since your mama met any man of yours and your ovaries are screaming out to you that you ain’t gettin’ any younger. You might be getting a bit desperate and frustrated, but don’t allow that to cause you to make bad decisions. Here are just a few things you can do to score your dream man without going above and beyond the call of duty (Note: this list is far from comprehensive)
Even though married people should be off-limits, there are plenty of men (and women) who seem to be blind to binding rings. Men, especially those who “holla” (with their lame hey-miss-lady-pickups), have no problem approaching married women since they are often in it for sex. While it is nice to feel desired and periodically (emphasis on periodic, not often) validate the idea of still having “it,” entertaining too much of the attention is a dangerous game.
You see, affairs don’t just happen. No one accidentally cheats.
For instance, you are enjoying happy hour with a few of your girlfriends at a local lounge and notice something tall, dark and handsome giving you the dimples. As you get up to grab a drink from the bar, he grazes your hand and whispers, “Excuse me.” You can respond one or all of three ways: hear him and keep it moving without pause, listen and smile in stride or embrace him and stop to talk. Know when you stop for conversation, you also open the door for temptation. Enter with caution. Think about how you would want your husband to handle a similar situation and respond accordingly.
Companionship is something we were built for; it’s a part of human nature. The longing to lock arms and exchange sweet smiles is not to be ignored. Finding love is important and we should keep ourselves open to possibilities.
However, we should not be so inviting that we appear desperate. Standards and politesse need always apply. No man wants a woman who is desperate. It is most attractive to seem desirable and confident. So, assume the correct position when hunting for men. When and with whom it is meant to be will happen. The key is remaining open and opportunistic. Here are a few tips for looking open to love without coming off as desperate: